Delectation 6/6

The ride back home was spent in complete silence. But there was nothing uncomfortable about it. Hands clasped tightly, the two sat in the car, each lost in their own thoughts and speaking volumes without ever uttering a single syllable. All the walls were gone, crumbled and crushed into dust at their feet. The comforting stillness, broken only by their synchronous breathing, enveloped them and left them completely open, souls bare before the other. And yet, neither of them were uncomfortable with it at all. Mulder mused on his earlier thoughts, they were whole, one soul, one heart. They were one. Perfect and utterly complete.

This was the happiest he could remember being in a long, long time. His heart filled with joy, he had the woman he loved, and a child on the way. There was nothing better than this, he thought. This was ecstasy in a whole new way, this was delectation.

He slowed to a stop in front of Scully's apartment building, it was silently understood between the two of them that this was their home now, it just made more sense. He glanced over at her with a genuine smile.

"I think I'm going to go back to my apartment, grab some things until we can get a moving truck," he told her. She turned to him and he could see the same joy reflected there. She smiled, a truly beautiful thing on her really, he never underestimated the beauty of her smile and the love held in her eyes, just for him.

She wasn't at all surprised, though others would have seen this as a bit rude, he hadn't even asked if she wanted him to stay any longer, much less forever. But that was exactly what Scully wanted, that was what he wanted too.

"Okay," her voice was soft and she brushed her lips across his cheek for an all too fleeting moment. "I'm gonna call my mom, hurry home?"

He nodded as she slipped out of the car, her slender form was getting more plump, in a few weeks she would be showing. "I will," he smiled again at her. "I love you Scully." Her smile was all the response he needed, and he pulled out of her parking lot as she slipped inside the building.

His apartment, over the course of the past two months, was virtually the same. He could tell that the others had been there. Scully, probably had stayed the first few nights back in DC in his bed, reveling in his familiar belongings. Frohike had probably cleaned out his video collection the first chance he got, Mulder shrugged his jacket off with a grin, it didn't matter, he had the object of his fantasies in the flesh now, and for the rest of his life.

At least, it would be if he got his way.

The apartment was the same, same battered leather couch. Same cramped kitchen and bedroom, same window sticky with old tape that had peeled off, the stickiness remained behind, gathering dust and dirt in the shape of an X. Same old pictures on his dresser in his bedroom, that small picture of Samantha at eight years old smiled up at him, her long dark hair in those damn braids he had always teased her about. He ran his fingers along the image of his baby sister, now long gone, for a moment, before sliding the picture off of the table and into a duffel bag he was holding. Next was a picture of his family, when they had all been younger, happier, with a slight hesitation, that went as well.

But there was one picture that was separate from the rest of his collection. On the small table next to his bed sat a picture of him and Scully. It had been taken years ago in the middle of some case. The stood in a motel room and Mulder smiled, remembering the day as clear as it had happened yesterday. They had been working together for only a few months, back when she still maintained that there was a scientific explanation for everything. They had just warmed up to each other, yes, he remembered now, it had been a short time after the Toom's case had been closed, before the X-Files had been shut down and Deep Throat killed. They had been arguing good naturedly over a trivial matter of the case and he had been digging through his suitcase simultaneously when he had happened upon his camera. He had whipped it out with a grin and Scully had groaned and flopped onto the bed.

'Smile Scully!' he had said, pointing the thing at her. She had flashed him her, by then patented, 'Scully glare' and told him that if he took a picture of her looking like that she would shoot him. He had just smiled and told her she was beautiful no matter what. He remembered how she had flushed at that and reluctantly agreed.

He had set the camera on the end table and told her to strike a pose, she had glared at him but his smile had gotten to her and at the last moment, she had stretched out into a full out Scully smile. And the precious moment had been caught on camera, he hadn't been able to believe his luck. The image of him standing there, towering over her and grinning like a fool while she gazed up at him with a smile, had managed to raise his spirits every time he had started to curse himself for what he had put her through over the years. It was a talent he had perfected.

With another broad grin he swept the picture into his bag and continued to survey the apartment.

Same dead fish in the tank, same abstruse bed in his cramped bedroom. Yes, his apartment was the same one he had lived in for nearly ten years now. But it was no longer his home. Scully was his home. She had been for seven years, now he just needed to sign some papers and it would be official.

Which brought him to his next objective.

He dropped to his hands and knees on his bedroom floor and felt the wood underneath his bed, searching for that loose floorboard...

There it was. He pried it up gently and groped inside for the small box he had retrieved from his mother's home months before, a few weeks after her death. His long fingers closed around the box and he smiled to himself. It was still there. He sat himself, crosslegged, on his bed before opening the box and looking inside.

Inside the box, perched on the soft, dark velvet was a small ring, obviously fit for a woman's finger. It was of braided gold and silver in a classic Celtic style. That's what he loved about this ring, it had been his great grandmother's ring, she had been Irish. His great grandfather had bought her a ring in a traditional Celtic design and it had been passed down in the family ever since. His grandmother had worn it, and his mother. A few years earlier Mulder's mother had tried to 'subtly' convince him that some day he would want to settle down and the ring was his for the taking.

In reflection, Mulder remembered that it had been just after the 'Paper Clip' incident that his mother had brought it up. After she had first met Scully. Mulder shook his head with a wry smile, apparently everyone had seen that they were in love long before either of them had seen it, or at least done anything about it.

He turned the ring over in his palm, watching the small sapphires, identical to Scully's eyes, he noted, sparkle in the light. There was a traditional diamond set in the center, elegant and neat. He could already picture what it would look like on his partner's slender finger. It was perfect. Scully was going to love it.

He slid the box into the inside pocket of his jacket and set about collecting his things. He and Scully would be out with the guys in a few weeks to throw out what he didn't need, and ship what he did over to Scully's--no, over to their apartment. He blew out a wistful sigh as he surveyed the apartment, he would miss some of it though. A lot of history had occured in this very apartment, and in the hallway outside of it, he recalled. He had almost kissed Scully for the first time out there, had almost told her how much he loved her in that hallway two years ago when she had been so close to leaving him.

He had come to the conclusion that he was in love with her while sitting on that leather couch. He had been laying there, contemplating his life after one of there many near brushes with death, he couldn't recall the instance or exactly when it had been. But the simple facts that he could no longer live without her, had entered his mind. They had not gone away until he realized he was hopelessly in love with his partner, even then, they hadn't gone away entirely.

And it had been in that bedroom, on one fateful night when she had fallen asleep on his couch. He had brushed her hair off of her face and tucked a blanket around her. He had wanted to kiss her then, but had restrained himself to go and collapse in his own bed. He would have never suspected that she would be the one to initiate their fledgling intimate relationship. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom and had slipped into his room so silently. He knew she had probably just been watching him sleep, like he did to her so much. Then she had slipped into his bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world, to find him wide awake. She had chuckled and asked how he could have been able to stand the couch for years. He had just smiled and pulled her close, never expecting her to want more, as much as he had.

That night had been one of silent revelations, they had discovered that night that they were perfect together. They fit together in every possible way, minds, bodies and souls, locked together that night.

It had been in that bedroom that he had made love to Dana Scully for the first time, and that was something he would never forget as long as he lived.

Mulder stood in the doorway of his apartment for the last time and silently bid farewell to the last aspect of his bachelorhood with only a small ounce of regret and sadness, for what life he was going to live now was so much better than the lonely one he had lived before. He was going to be a father, a husband and the lover of the woman he loved more than anything in the world.

He surveyed the apartment: the sticky X on the window, the dead fish in the tank, the lumpy couch that had housed many of his nightmares for several years, the bedroom that one woman had occupied in the entire time he had lived there, whether she had been there physically or not. There were many awful memories that filled this place, but scattered among the bad there was always good. Mulder smiled ruefully at the apartment one last time before turning and closing the door, a duffel bag of his clothes and essential items slung over his shoulder. He walked down the hall that harbored a few more trips for his photographic memory with a wistful smile.

And he didn't look back once.

~ ~ ~ ~

Scully was stretched out on the bed when he returned, her hands clasped protectively over her stomach, a dazzling smile still stretched out on her lips. He dropped the bag gently by the door and shrugged his leather jacket off onto a chair, mindful of the ring still inside, and crossed over to where she lay. He knelt by the bed and softly rested his head against her stomach murmurring softly to the baby within.

Scully opened her eyes slowly, grinning softly at the sight of her partner with his head resting on her stomach, trying to feel the baby inside. "Feel anything?" she asked.

Mulder shook his head against her skin without turning to look at her, "Not yet, but I intend to stay here until I do."

Scully chuckled, "Then you could be here a long time, babies don't usually get active until their third or fouth month, you could be here for weeks."

Mulder kissed the bare skin of her stomach lightly, sending shivers up her spine at the feather light caresses. "I am a very patient man you know," he commented softly. Scully snorted, Fox Mulder and patient were not generally in the same sentence. That is unless you were talking about her too. Like the way he had patiently waited at her bedside when she was in the hospital. Or the way he patiently weedled his theories into her mind over the years, waiting for her to believe.

"You are, Mulder," she said tenderly, her heart filling again with love for this man that loved her so much. He glanced up at her, surprised that she had agreed with him. She ran her fingers through his silky brown strands of hair and smiled at him, something she was getting more accustomed to lately.

Mulder eased his head off of her stomach and moved up to lie next to her, he smiled back and eased an errant strand of hair off her ivory skin. He watched her for a long moment then frowned, "I missed you, Scully..."

She turned her head, her eyes meeting his. She furrowed her eyebrow with a grin, "We were only apart for a few hours Mulder..."

He shook his head, his arm stretched up and over his head to toy with her hair aimlessly. "I don't mean that, I mean these past few months. I don't remember much, but I remember missing you," he buried his face in her neck. "I would replay times together in my head, good and bad. I would just spend hours when they left me alone, remembering what it felt like to kiss you, to hold you..." tears burned his eyes and he realized that he had not let himself cry since he had returned to her. Usually he was the one more open with emotion, and she was the one who had collapsed against him sobbing the other night.

Scully was stunned by his revelations, she had done the same exact thing for the past two months. She put one hand up to stroke his face gently as she felt hot tears against her neck. Her shoulders slumped in relief. She had been terrified that he would take her role and lock his emotions up, she didn't want him to do that.

She eased his head up out of the crook of her neck and smiled at him again. "I did too Mulder...god...I've missed your warmth...your strength so much," she kissed the faint marks left by his tears and leaned her cheek against his. "And God, I have missed these beautiful lips..."

He pulled away just enough to meet her softly smoldering eyes with his own. The burning intensity Scully saw in his eyes was one she had seen many times before, and not enough times in this situation. He moved his hand down to her head and slid his fingers into her crimson tresses. Slowly, he eased his mouth down to meet hers in a gentle, loving kiss. It lasted only a few seconds before she pulled away. The feeling of loss was immediate for both and Scully gasped slightly at the shock before his mouth swept down on hers again, hungry and passionate this time. She gripped at his shirt, longing to feel him pressed against her again, it had been too long and God, she had missed him.

She pulled away long enough to whisper a husky "I love you," at the same time he did. They both grinned simultaneously and that was when Scully knew what Mulder had long ago discovered.

They were one.

And as the night wore on, the two were one again, and lost together in their delectation.

~ ~ ~ ~

"I don't think I'll ever be able to leave this bed again," Scully whispered breathlessly the next morning as dawn crept across the sky and through their windowpane. Mulder snuggled up against her and kissed her shoulder gently. "Fine by me, I'll stay with you," his gentle hand rested on her stomach again, and she discovered she found the gesture as natural and as comforting as how he always pressed the small of her back. Protective and loving was all that gesture was, it meant more to Scully than anything in the world at the moment.

"Think Skinner would miss us?" she asked softly, Mulder heaved a deep sigh as if considering it and then shook his head. "I think we have enough vacation time saved up for early retirement."

Scully chuckled and rolled over, resting her head on his chest. For the first time she saw the light through the window and smiled, content in the moment. "Hey, it's dawn. We've been up all night, you know that?" Mulder followed her gaze out of the window and smiled, not just a few days ago he had been awake at dawn, worrying for her. Now she was safe in his arms and nothing at this moment could hurt her.

"I guess it just proves what seven years of sexual tension will do for one's relationship," he laughed softly as Scully ran her nails up and down his chest. "Well...then maybe we should take a break for another seven years..." she suggested. Mulder jumped at the thought. "No!"

Scully smirked playfully, "I don't know, if I get a repeat of last night..."

"I can gurantee you'll get that every night if you marry me," the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he groaned inwardly as she stiffened in his arms.

"I'm sorry Scully, I..." he trailed off as she pressed one slender finger to his mouth and slowly met his deep now green eyes. "You really want to marry me?"

He crinkled his nose at the ridiculous question, "Of course I do, and not just because you're great in bed. I love you Scully..." he traced lazy circles on her stomach again and added, "The fact that you're carrying my child doesn't hurt either..."

She beamed widely, "Do I get a ring?"

"It's in my bag," Scully raised an eyebrow at the swift response. She hadn't actually expected him to have a ring, but he was already rolling out of bed to retrieve it. She sat up at the loss of his warmth and wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes followed his lean swimmer/runner's body as he crossed the room to pull a small box out of his jacket. He turned back, catching her appreciative gaze and tossed the box in her direction. She pulled her eyes from him long enough to catch it in one hand and open it with the other. She drew in a breath at the sight of the ring, it was exquisite.

"Oh Mulder..."

"It was my great grandmother's," he explained. "The cradle was your heirloom...this is mine."

Scully looked up, blue eyes bright. "I love it."

He grinned, "So you'll marry me?"

She met his gaze without wavering and was stunned by the power of the love and joy she saw there that she could only whisper, "Yes," before he pulled her into his arms again, kissing her with more passion than she would have thought he had left.

And the sun rose over their heads.

~ ~ ~ ~

Seven months came and went quickly, Mulder and Scully had decided to wait until after their baby was born to have the wedding. One thing at a time, they told everyone.

Though Mulder secretly suspected that his wife to be just didn't want to look fat in her wedding dress.

They returned to work after that first week reunited. The cases were light at first, Skinner was trying to make things easy for them. But after awhile they slipped back into their normal routine. Any concept of 'rules' against dating within the bureau had been completely denounced at that point. There were no written rules, and with Skinner on their side and maintaining completely professional relationships at work, the rules never stood a chance against Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.

They never had.

By the sixth month of Scully's pregnancy they stopped fieldwork. Remained in the office, doing paperwork. It was driving them both nuts.

By the seventh month they decided to take some of their well earned vacation time before they drove anyone else in the office nuts.

And then one crisp November morning Scully awoke with worse pains than usual, Mulder, being as overprotective as he is, rushed her to the hospital.

Twenty-one hours later, at 5:10 a.m. on November 17th another Mulder was brought into the world. She was a tiny little thing that her parents fell in love with at first sight. Her hair was dark red, with traces of copper sprinkling her strands. Her eyes were a calming blue-green, having inherited both of her parent's best traits. She was the most beautiful thing the two of them had ever laid eyes on.

"Mulder, she's perfect," Scully cradled their daughter in her arms, looking so natural at motherhood that no one would have guessed that a year ago she had believed she would never concieve children. "She is, she is perfect," Mulder sat beside the bed, one arm around Scully and beamed at his baby girl who was tiredly playing with his finger.

Scully frowned suddenly, "She needs a name."

Mulder glanced at his fiance, "She does... we never really considered it did we?"

"No..." Scully confirmed. She glanced down at her daughter's face and smiled, "Samantha?"

Mulder lowered his head at the mention of his dead sister that he had spent half of his life looking for, it would make sense to name his daughter after her aunt, the woman, the girl who had brought the two of them together. But for some reason, it just didn't seem right to have another Samantha Mulder running around.

"No...we should leave the dead buried...we should have our own name for her, something original and meaningful...let those who are finally at peace stay that way."

Scully knew it was still hard for him to think of Samantha as dead, so she just nodded slowly, silently crossing 'Emily' and 'Melissa' off her list. She had been thinking along the same lines actually.

The two of them stared at their sleepy daughter for a long moment before Scully wrinkled her forehead. "Liana," she whispered softly to the child in her arms. Instantly the babe stirred and looked at her, as if wondering why she was being woken.

Mulder noted the reaction and smiled, "Liana," he said the name himself, it rolled off the tongue, seeming to fit the small being they had created. The baby stirred again and glanced at her father with a look that appeared very much like her mother's patented glare. Mulder chuckled, "I think it's her," he glanced at his fiance with a curious expression. "What does it mean?"

Scully met his hazel eyes without hesitation and whispered, "Bond..." and Mulder understood. This child had been the product of their unique bond and trust that they had formed over the years. Their bond had led them thus far, it was perfect.

"Your turn," Scully said. "She needs a middle name."

Mulder turned and studied his daughter for a few minutes, at last he nodded and turned back to his fiance. "Maret."

"Maret?"

"It means 'wide eyed beauty of the moon'," he nodded out the window to the full moon that was rapidly disappearing with the sunrise. The three were bathed suddenly with the feathery tendrils of light that spread in through the window. The sun rose in the distance bathing them in golden, silver and copper light.

It was the most magnificent sunrise Scully had ever seen on the morning her daughter was born.

"Liana Maret Mulder," she christened the babe with the name aloud. She nodded as her daughter stirred again, "I think she likes it too."

Mulder smiled and marveled in open mouthed awe at the tiny life his partner held in her arms. He had helped create this beautiful thing, this child that had come from the two of them. "She's so beautiful..." he whispered, stroking the soft tufts of crimson hair with one finger. Liana moved slightly under his touch and opened her dark verdant eyes and stared up at her father. Mulder beamed down at the girl and kissed her forehead gently.

"She is," Scully agreed quietly, watching the two of them together was an even more beautiful scene. "And she's lucky," Mulder said with a grin towards her. "She got your nose."

"And even more lucky that she's got your lips," Scully smirked at him and leaned over to kiss him soundly. Liana stared up in wide eyed amazement at the two remarkable people she had gotten as parents. Scully pulled away slightly and leaned her head against his cheek, glancing back down towards their child. "I love you, Liana Maret..." she whispered softly. She didn't care what anybody said, the pain had been worth it. Just to be able to hold her daughter in her arms and watch her made it all worth it.

Mulder shifted his position slightly and kissed Scully softly on the cheek. "I love you both," he whispered. Scully sighed and closed her eyes, Mulder smiled gently at her and lifted their daughter out of her arms, content to let her sleep, it would be the last good night's rest she would have for a long time.

Mulder gathered his tiny, hours old child into his arms, and pressed her to his chest protectively. Liana just continued to stare at him, her blue green gaze was unmistakably something she had inherited, her eyes seemed to pry into his soul and he smiled down at her. Standing, he crossed over to the window to gaze out at the morning aurora as it lit the child's hair with a scarlet glow, Mulder rocked his daughter gently in his arms, lulling her to sleep. But Liana appeared to have lost all interest in the concept of sleep. She grabbed his finger with one tiny fist and he wondered at the power in her grip, she was as strong as her mother and he had the sneaking suspicion that she would be as opinionated as well. It didn't matter, Mulder didn't mind. All he cared about at that moment was his fiance, asleep on the bed, and this tiny phenomenon in his arms.

The morning light streamed through the window as the sun broke through the mist into the sky. Liana squinted at him, the brightness of the light caused the colors in her eyes to dance from green to blue and every shade in between. Mulder grinned and turned away from the window, she was truly amazing. Everything that had happened since that day they had left the hospital seemed to be a dream. But it wasn't, it was real and they were all alive, all three of them, that fact in and of itself the most extraordinary of it all.

He bent his head to kiss her on the forehead once more, "I love you Liana Maret," he murmured softly, repeating Scully's earlier words. "I will always love you."

Mulder leaned his forehead gently against his daughter's and smiled as she cooed softly. There were no words for this moment, the silence said it all. There was already a connection established between father and daughter, a bond as close as the one he shared with Scully. There were no words worthy of describing this resplendent moment in time, the silence spoke volumes that he would never be able to say to her.

And as the sun rose overhead, Fox Mulder was, for the first time in many years, utterly happy and at peace. This was delectation, this was home.

~ ~ ~ ~

They were married on a warm morning in March.

March seventh, to be exact. The date was not lost on either of them. In the haze of the months after Liana was born, they had scant time to think, much less plan for a wedding. But they had decided on the day as fitting, the anniversary of their time together. Eight years ago to the day the two had been brought together as partners, had been compelled to respect the other, and had come to trust each other. And unexpectedly, fallen in love with each other.

And after all they had been through, they had just come out stronger, and more in love than ever. In a way, they owed a lot to Cancerman and Blevins, as twisted as the two men were and as much they had done to the two, they had brought Mulder and Scully together, created the perfect partnership with these two soulmates. Science and fantasy, logic and sophism, their respective differences had just brought them together, whereas it would have driven so many others apart.

Eight years to the day of their alliance they stood in the garden in Scully's childhood home, surrounded by friends and family, mostly Scully's family considering the circumstance, the two were officially joined in the eyes of God and the world.

The real truth of the matter though, was that they were already joined, they were already whole.

Scully found herself reflecting on this as she was swept up the aisle by her oldest brother Bill, who had agreed, rather reluctantly, to come to the wedding when he had been asked to give his baby sister away. The most surprising thing of all though, was how civil he had been to Mulder in the months since their daughter had been born. She could only hope the peace would last. She caught her mother's eyes as she approached her fiance, and smiled at the sight of her baby daughter gurgling happily in her grandmother's arms. Liana was a blessing, their blessing, and Scully could feel a smile sweep over her face just at the sight of her.

All her thoughts were swept aside though as she approached her partner, who stood at the alter, patiently awaiting her. His eyes locked onto hers and they both smiled in unison. The two had been frightened that the day would never come, but here it was, here they were. Together, and that was all that mattered.

Everything seemed to fade into the background as Mulder took her hand, his eyes were filled with such love and adoration that she almost wept. Nothing else mattered here and now but the two of them. She was unmindful of the things the reverend was saying, and yet hyper aware of it at the same time. The words seemed to blur past her, imprinting themselves into her heart forever as she blinked, aware that she was supposed to be speaking. She smiled one of her beautiful rare smiles that made Mulder's heart jump, and recalled the vows she had written down on paper time and again, trying to perfect her emotions with words, when she knew that no words could ever express all that she felt for him.

"Mulder," she grinned a bit wickedly and added, "Fox," she could see the wry smile starting in his eyes, and she knew she would get it for that later.

"I don't know how to say what I feel, no words, no trite vows could ever express how much I feel for you. How grateful I am to you for giving me all that you have... the strength of your beliefs kept me going in the darkest times, and your love was the only thing I had to hold onto when our world was falling apart," she could see the shimmer of tears in his hazel eyes through her own insipid vision.

"You have been my best friend for so long, you are the only one I trust. And the only one I will ever love. For a long time I was afraid, afraid of losing you and afraid of losing myself in loving you. I'm not afraid anymore, I believe...I believe in this," she gripped his hand in her own. "I believe in us," she slipped the golden band onto his finger and smiled through her teary eyed vision. "Forever..." was all she whispered.

Mulder stared at her for a long moment, their hands clasped tightly. How was it possible that this incredible woman loved him so much? With a slow smile, he began his own vows.

"Dana," the blatant use of her first name startled her a bit and she grinned. "For a long time I didn't trust anyone, I didn't really love anyone. Not until you walked into my life eight years ago. You challenged me with everything you had, you cared for me, and when nobody else believed in me, you did. All these years you have been my constant, my touchstone," he saw her grin at the familiar words. "And I have tried so many times to make you understand just how much I love you, but words were never enough. I told you once that you made me whole, it was true then, it still is. Without you I am nothing, you keep me honest and you have saved me in so many ways..." his vision dimmed with tears and he blinked them away as he slid the cool golden band onto her finger. "I have always wanted to believe...now I do..." he brought her hands to his lips and kissed them gently. "I will love you forever."

And then she was kissing him with a passion that he cherished so dearly. With a grin through their kiss, he pulled her away and cupped her face in his large hands, meeting her eyes and seeing only love there. He chuckled softly and pulled her lips to his once more, in a soft and gentle kiss that sealed their union, and ended a journey that had begun eight years ago.

Through love and loss, tragedy and joy, trust and friendship and so much more, the two had always survived. And after years of searching, they had finally come home.

~ ~ ~ ~

Epilogue

DKM

Journal entry.

They say love is the best thing in the world, and for a long time I wanted to believe it. But I was to cynical, it proved to asinine for me. I never thought that there could be such a sweeping emotion that can make a soul, or break one. I was afraid of love, of getting lost in that sea, and when I met Mulder I knew that it could easily happen. I remember looking at him one night, across the confines of our office in the middle of some meaningless debate, early in our partnership, and thinking to myself: 'I could fall in love with this man...' from that moment on I had attempted to maintain a professional distance, all the while I kept falling and convincing myself that I did not love this incredible man, I would not.

Needless to say, I failed miserably at it. And it's one of my few failures I am happy about. In fact, it was the best thing I ever did.

In the end, it all comes down to a matter of trust. Whether or not I trusted myself to let go of everything that inhibited me, and whether or not I trusted Mulder to take care of me.

But I've already stated that Mulder is the only one I trust. It's more true now than ever. He loves me so utterly and completely sometimes I think he is amazed by it himself.

When I walked through the door of the basement office all those years ago, I had no idea what to expect. Within the first few minutes of my arrival I found a brilliant, if not spooky, man who had a seeminly endless wit and dry humor that grated on my nerves. That was the man who argued with every single one of my explanations with his crazy theories.

Over the years I discovered a loving, caring human being, the most selfless, protective and determined person I have ever known.

I thank God every day of my life that he loves me. Mulder blames himself sometimes, says that he took too much away from me over the years. In truth, he gave me so much more than he could ever imagine.

He gave me his trust, his life. He gave me a beautiful, perfect child, a daughter that I love as much as I love him. A beautiful being that gained her father's stubborn will and protectiveness. Liana is our own miracle, proof of our endless bond, and always our wide eyed beauty of the moon.

And more than anything, Mulder gave me his love. That undying love that has never faded, never corrupted, that pure love that I cherish more than my own soul.

He called what we have 'delectation' once. He said it was utter rapture and joy. He was right. He is my soulmate, my true love.

My husband is my home. I've finally come home.

~ ~ ~ ~

FWM

Journal entry.

I often look back on the things I have left behind me, these things that I have lost along the way. It would appear to anybody else, that I had lost everything, that I should have died a thousand times over, if not from circumstance, but from grief.

But in truth, I have gained so much. I have a beautiful daughter that gained her mother's hair and kindness. I have the most perfect woman in the world standing by me everyday, still putting up with me and my crazy ideas.

Life is as perfect as I've ever had it, more perfect than I ever hoped it would be.

Scully gave me so much, she completed me, she loved me.

I still find it hard to believe sometimes that she loves me, but she does, ceaselessly and without condition. I told myself once that I would not fall in love with her, I wouldn't hurt her as well. But in the end, I could not control my own heart.

I was bound up in a quest that seemed to have no clear end. I still miss Samantha, every day of my life I miss my baby sister. But she is no longer the main focus of my life as she once was, she hasn't been for a long time. My quest was a noble one, Scully acknowledged once, but I was looking for answers to questions that I could no longer ask. Samantha is gone, I know that, my parents are both dead, and the many of the answers I was looking for, may be dead along with them, I know that now. I have made my peace with it. I have come to terms with Samantha's death, as much as I don't want to. I know that wherever she is, she is at peace now, and so am I. Someday I will see her again, maybe not in this life, but someday, and as long as I hold onto that hope, I am content to let her go.

My life is no longer as wrapped up in noble quests and searching for the truth as it once was. Does that mean Scully and I have stopped searching? Far from it, it's just not the most important thing in our lives anymore.

We have traveled a truly amazing path together, Scully and I, we have seen things that most people would never dream about. We have gone through our ups and downs and come through together. It is amazing how blessed we have been. Blessed with a family and each other.

I will never forget the path we walked to get where we are today, it was hard, and it was dark, but in the end we gained so much we never even expected. The road was long, but it led here, to each other.

It's amazing really, those men put the two of us together in hopes that she would bring me down. But she held me up, she kept me going. I wish I could have seen their faces when they realized how stupid they were. Instead, they found other ways to hurt us, but it was never anything we couldn't handle, as long as we had each other, we have always been strong.

I have been searching for over twenty years for the truth, in hopes that it could save me. Scully was the thing that saved me though, and she is the one who believed in me. I was looking for the truth and I found it in an unexpected way. I found out how much I loved her, I still do, over the years our love has florished and grown, never fading once.

In the end, we had lost so much, and it would seem that we have lost at times.

But Scully was right when she told me that we have won overall, its the little things that have let us win. We have our lives, we have our family, and we have each other. And we are happy now.

We have won.

The End

Oh my god... I did it...

This was my first serious piece of fanfiction, and certainly the longest I have ever written. But I would have never gotten this far without my friends who told me I was a great writer, and my great beta readers who helped me out. And of course I would have gotten nowhere at all without all the debating and idea tossing with my friend Cheri. Cher, I don't know how many times I am going to thank you ; }

And of course, I owe a lot to all those fanfiction authors out there who inspired me so much with their own stuff. So this story is dedicated to all you authors, thank you for your awe inspiring stories!

And I must of course, thank my sister Alaina, who introduced me to the world of the x-files many years ago and taught me what a shipper was.

And one last thanks to Daphne, who listened to me ramble on and on about the X-Files even though she has never watched a single episode! Thanks Daph, I owe you one.

And now I leave you with this quote from the creator himself; Chris Carter:

"You know, Mulder and Scully love each other. That's kind of obvious

if you've been a fan of the show. They have a very intense relationship

that's based on mutual shared passions. The natural extension of that

would be a romantic relationship."

-Chris Carter, June 13, 1998

Entertainment Tonight

"But you've saved me. As difficult and frustrating as it's been sometimes, your goddamn strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over. You kept me honest. You made me a whole person. I owe you everything, Scully, and you owe me nothing. I don't know if I want to do this alone. I don't even know if I can. And if I quit now, they win..."

--Fox Mulder

Fight the Future

Thank you for reading everyone...

I can't believe it's over...