A/N: agh. another one shot. This was originally meant to be the epilogue to my other two SO7 one-shot songfic. But then I reread those two and realized how bad it was and also the series had progressed so far since that it would just feel weird if I kept to it. Besides, what was originally meant to be a one-shot already has a sequel, so I figured to just leave it at that.
Btw, just as a warning, this fic is mostly pointless and plotless. Basically is just the musings of a certain Miroku that happens to love Sango and was in denial for so long. The song exists because it WAS going to be continuation of my previous one-shots. You can just ignore it if you want to.
Disclaimer: the song's originally called 'Terima Kasih Bijaksana' by Sheila on 7, literally translated 'Thank you, Wise One'. Sounds lame, eh? It really isn't at all in Indonesian and I love SO7 for their lyrics. They're just awesome *sigh* Just like Sango and Miroku being the most awesome pairing ever created on Earth and it wasn't me who invented them either. Tragic, isn't it? I simply own nothing, not even my brain.
A guide of some sort:
Italics: song in IndonesianBold Italics: my attempt to translate it
By dEeYaN
Love. What is love? He had personally chosen to ignore its existence. To love is to hurt, so why love? He'd be better off on his own, not having to worry about anyone dragging him down or vice versa. There was no point in trying to understand the complications of human emotions.
That was, until he met her. He had fully underestimated her being, if not her fighting skill. Try as he would, her image had somehow planted itself in his brain -and his heart- , refusing to be cast away.
Percaya, apapun yang akan terjadi nantiBelieve, whatever happens
Kau tetap pesona rahasia di lagu ini
You'll still be the secret charm in this song
He had tried to ignore the way her smile made him all queasy and drunk-like, how only his life long practise of self-discipline could strain himself from holding her in his arms forever.
He'd made himself think of her fifty years down the road. The image made him laugh. Instead of her now seemingly perfect figure, she would be old and hunched, her dark hair would be grey by then, her smooth features interrupted by wrinkles. Her form would most likely be somewhat like Kaede's, all hunched and maybe even. fat.
That had actually worked, he'd loose his interest in her and started looking forward for the groping sessions without guilt on his conscience. Alas, everytime he thought he'd gotten over her, she'd appear and changed his mind all over again. It's back to thinking about the years to past again for him. Then again, by the time she wasn't so beautiful, he probably wouldn't be as desirable either.
Tak peduli berapakah berat badanmu nantiWhatever your weight will be
Kau tetap yang ter..muah dihati
You'll still be the most mwah *as in kiss/ most loved* in my heart
Old, yes, she would be old. But never tired. Kami, no! Even old age wouldn't dare rob the spirit in her. If no one stopped her, and he doubt anyone could anyway, she'll probably still be going around exterminating youkais until none were left. Or at least, she'll still be going around beating up perverts who dare touch her granddaughters.
The image had made him laugh. And yet, somehow, it wasn't a mocking laugh. It was a laugh that somehow expressed affection and longing. In some rare occasions, he'd allow himself to have the pleasure of putting himself into the picture, looking probably even worse than her but minus the Kazaana, still being beaten up. but happy and content.
There was simply nothing he could do to deny his feelings. To call it love, might be too bold, way too bold. To hope that they could one day be together, might only bring more pain and suffering on both sides. But he knew for sure, that whatever happens, whatever she'd looked like one day, he'd still have the same uncertainty concerning her. The same doubt he had of himself since he had met her, of whether or not he was capable of looking after himself anymore. She had been constantly hurting him physically, even if it WAS his fault, she was still capable of hurting her emotionally too. Him, the almighty monk! Getting hurt constantly by a woman and. not minding at all, feeling happy even. She looked so cute when she's angry and he mostly groped her just for the sake of teasing her. He must have gone crazy.
Kuakui, ku tak hanya hinggap di satu hatiI admit that I hadn't only stopped at one heart
Kutakuti ku terlalu liar tuk dimiliki
I was afraid that I was too wild to be possessed
Walau begitu semua hanya persinggahan egoku
But it was all my ego's selfishness
Sifatmu tlah merobohkan aku
Your character had made me tumble
Flirting had always been his way. Most calls it being perverted, she'd give a lecture on that, but he calls it genes and fate. If he hadn't had the cursed Kazaana, he wouldn't be who he was today. He wouldn't be chasing every single decent looking woman. At least not as much anyway.
His lechery was his mask, to keep people away. To rid him of any human emotions that might come without constant lechery. Fate does have its way, cruel as it was. He knew he should've never joined Inuyasha's quest. He ran away in the beginning and yet fate brought them back together, and then of course conveniently leading him to her.
Fate really should stop playing with people's heart and get a life. Seriously, what was there for them? In the end, she'd be left even more alone than before. She certainly does not deserve that. She'd lost everything she had already. Worse even, for her brother, not only the last of her kin but also the one closest to her heart, had been trying to kill her and her companions constantly. She certainly deserved someone better than him, someone who isn't a perverted lecher.
Dan waktupun terus berlari
And time ran on
Dan akupun smakin mengerti
And I understood even more
Apa yang akan ku hadapi
What I will face
Apa yang akan aku cari
What I will look for
Everyday he felt, or at least thought he felt, the Kazaana widening ever so slightly. Even more when he used it to take away youkais rights to live when he sucked them into his palm. His curse refused to let him forget about it even a single moment. Whenever he felt content, watching her from afar, the curse would start voicing its jealousy, paining him ever so slightly just to remind him that he was different, that she'd certainly be happier with someone else so he should just settle down with the curse and die quietly.
And yet. As the days flew by, as the Kazaana grew, just by possessing the knowledge that she was near, gave him peace that even the Kazaana could not take away. His fear of dying from the Kazaana without an heir to finish the curse had long gone, dispersing into a new fear. A fear for her. A fear that she might get harmed in any way and that he'll fail to protect her. If he should die for her safety, he couldn't care less. What is life without her existence anyway? The only reason for his fear of his death was that there would be no one to watch over her. No one to make sure that she'd be safe and sound by the end of the day. If only she would forget her revenge and settle down. She was still young and pretty with her whole life ahead of her after all.
He knew that she wouldn't do it. She'd rather suffer forever and die a thousand deaths than forget about her revenge. As long as there was still hope for her brother, she would not let it pass by. And now he knew it was more than mere revenge. The goal that they each had had in the beginning of the journey had changed. None of them were fighting for their own sakes anymore, they were now fighting for each other. Come to think of it, it all started with revenge, revenge for family, and revenge for a past lover. Unbelievable how it was kindness that had started it. Maybe that was what had keep them together. However different their purposes may seem, they were all basically the same.
Everyone is fighting for each other. Since when had he become a romantic? And yet it was true. He wasn't fighting for his life on his own anymore, he had friends who were fighting for it with him. Perhaps he could die peacefully after all, she had her friends to protect her.
Aku tuliskan lagu sederhana
I wrote a simple song
Untuk dirimu yang sangat bijaksana>
For you who is very wise
Memahamiku dan mencintaiku
Who understood and loved me
Apa adanya....>
As I am.
Apa adanya....>
As I am.
In the depths of his memory, he could still recall clearly the day he said it. The day his foolishness, his selfishness had turned her against him. The day he at last ignored the forever lingering pain of the Kazaana and told her how he felt, somehow certain that it'll all work out somehow. The day when at last the future wasn't such a scary thing anymore. It was the day when their feelings were at last confirmed by words and also the day when their destinies were changed forever. For the best or not, only fate knew then.
The memory had given him more reason to go on, to fight even harder, to survive for her, no matter what.
Because she had accepted him for who he was. She had hated his perverted personality and yet saw past through it. He had thought it impossible for him to settle down with a woman, for who could ever understand what he's been through? Understanding was one of the cores of a relationship. He had never before felt afraid to get attached to anyone, because as beautiful as one's physical appearance might be, he never could stop himself from looking down at them for their ignorance, blaming them for not knowing the suffering that was going on beyond the borders of their villages.
She understood. Just by a turn of the wheel of fate, she was put through a similar life. A life that was so full of death that giving up wasn't an option anymore.
She knew how it was to loose everything, how it felt when the soul starts to disown the physical body, the gratitude -and the revenge- felt when life came back for a second chance. She knew how life goes on, how no matter how much you missed someone, no matter how much you think your life could never be as good as it was, you'd find yourself waking up one day, finding your life as good as it can get, maybe even better than before...
Dan waktupun terus berlari
And time ran on
Dan akupun smakin mengerti
And I understood even more
Apa yang akan ku hadapi
What I will face
Apa yang akan aku cari
What I will look for
It certainly was ironic, how they had met because of Naraku. If only Naraku hadn't given his grandfather the curse, if he hadn't wiped her village away, they wouldn't have met. If it was to be fate, does it mean that all those death, all those suffering were only to meet them and then wrench them away? It was just too cruel.
It was almost as cruel as the fact that fate had lead Kikyou to Onigumo and allowed her pure heart to help him. Wrenching her away from her only chance of happiness and now left her wandering the Earth, living on other people's souls in her quest to seek revenge and peace.
Revenge and peace. What else could be more ironic?
He knew, however, that deep inside his heart he was grateful. Although it was an act of extreme selfishness and disrespect, he knew he'd loose everything all over again if it meant that he could be with her, however short. Nothing could ever stop him from trying to be with her, not even fate. His will would not be dampen, that was perhaps, also a part of fate.
Aku tuliskan lagu sederhana
I wrote a simple song
Untuk dirimu yang sangat bijaksana>
For you who is very wise
Memahamiku dan mencintaiku
Who understood and loved me
Apa adanya....>
As I am.
Apa adanya....>
As I am.
They had been through so much. And as he looks over at her now, lost in her peaceful slumber, he knew it was worth it. Countless time had he tried to forget her, to convince himself that she was no different than any other girl, each attempt failing quite miserably. And yet he never had really regretted his inability to not like her, to not need her.
She shifted ever so slightly, catching his attention at once. Letting out a sigh, he smiled to himself, even after all these years, her slightest movement still made him turn to her. Even now, when her physical appearance has become like what he had once imagined her to be all those years ago. He still felt drawn towards her, she was still the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine to exist. And he felt even more contempt to know that at last he would be the only one to think that. That at last he doesn't have to worry about someone else stealing her away from him.
She shifted again and then slowly her eyes fluttered open to face the dawning sun.
"Ohayou," he smiled at her.
She smiled back sleepily, "what are you doing being up so early?"
"Just thinking." she gave him a questioning look, "about the past. How we first met and all. I was so stupid then."
"You were," she smiled again and then stretched her stiff limbs, not necessarily earned from a night's sleep but also from old age.
"It all turned out good, though," he took her into his embrace. His palm no longer bore a hole, he was as normal as an ex-hentai houshi can get. Naraku was defeated, his curse ended and Kohaku got his well earned peace. It took them awhile to pick up their lives from there, for the realization that they could at last be happy to sink into their brains, that they didn't have to fight anymore.
"I suppose." Sango left Miroku's arms to go and prepare breakfast to start the new day in which they were still together. The past in which they had suffered so much were long since past that it seemed like a dream only. Neither could even imagine what life felt like before they met, how was it possible that they could be happy?
Because people forget and life goes on. And though one day one of them might die before the other, the one left would not despair. Too many deaths had they witnessed that it had became a mere turn in their lives, just like settling in to a new village. For in their hearts they could never be separated. Just as people say that the dead live on in the living's hearts.
They were old and wizened and tired but they were still Sango and Miroku. The same persons who'd challenge fate and changed their destinies. Calling it love would certainly be bold. For love is nothing but a single word, that had been tainted in order to describe something vague and hypocritical. He was right in the end, it really would be bold to call it love.
Aku goreskan lirik sederhana
I scratched up a simple lyric
Untuk dirimu yang sungguh mempesona
For you who is so fascinating
Memahamiku dan mencintaiku
Who understood and loved me
Apa adanya....
As I am
Apa adanya..........
As I am
A/N: So how was it? Do tell. Me very curious to know what you think. Me appreciate much if you review. So do^^
Btw, the song's actually really cheerful and all. Could you guess?
A bit cheesy, is it? Dunno. I was depressed when I wrote this, I really cannot understand how I manage to write it. It was so weird, I just had a fight again with my mum and then I went to write this and realised that the songs on my playlist were all depressing songs.-.-;; Parents, they try to control your live and then tell you to be responsible.
It's kind of like a stereo-typical ending too, everything turn out to be okay. But hey, people love happy endings and so do I. I really don't think I could kill off one of them. I tried to make more realistic, but I don't think it worked. I mean, it would be impossible for Kohaku to just die happily and stuff but yeah.
Anyways, I'll stop my rambling here. Review, pweese??
