Chapter 26 – Weight of the World

Harry wandered round the Ministry for a long time after seeing the veil. He left the department of mysteries, not wanting to linger in a place that held so many questions and so many memories.
 He had never seen so much of the Ministry, though he looked at it through unseeing eyes. Floors and floors of workers, just trying to keep the magical world going. When really it didn't matter, if he failed then nothing mattered. It was late when he went back to the Auror headquarters.

 "Where have you been?" James said, as soon as he saw his son. "I was worried."

 "Oh you know, just been looking around," Harry managed to say, though he was suddenly very weary.
 "Right," James said, looking curiously at his son. "Are you okay?"

 "Not really," Harry said with a sigh. "But I'll be alright."

 "What's the matter?" James asked concernedly.
 "Oh you know, just feeling a bit depressed," Harry said, finally looking up at his dad. "I went down to the Department of Mysteries, brought back a lot of stuff."
 "With the prophecy and stuff?" James asked, and he and Harry began to walk out of office.
 "Yeah mostly," Harry said. "But other stuff too. What was it like to be dead?" The question took James by surprise.

 "Um…well peaceful I guess," he said thoughtfully. "Your mum was there and it was warm. I don't remember much really, it wasn't like life, it was just a feeling. Why are you thinking about this?"

"Because no one else is," was Harry's blunt reply.

 "About death?" James asked brow furrowed.
 "No one talks about it," Harry said, and he began to feel a little angry. "Everyone expects me to kill Voldemort, and everyone worries about how I'm going to deal with that. But what if I lose? No one thinks about that."
 "You're wrong Harry, we do think about that," James said putting a hand on his sons shoulder. "I know I do. But what do you want us to say: 'You might die, how do you feel about that?'"

"Maybe," Harry said defensively. Then his shoulders slumped. "I don't know. It's just I'm scared. Not so much of death, I've been there before and I've faced that. But letting everyone down, I hate the fact that if I die, everyone dies."
 "There's nothing wrong with being afraid. We're all afraid," James said softly. "Afraid for you, afraid for what you have to do. But don't make it into something you are doing for the sake of others. This is your destiny, what you have to do. And if you fail, then we will see you again." He smiled at his son and Harry grinned wearily back.

That evening on arriving back at Hogwarts, Harry heard from Ron that there was another meeting in Dumbledore's office and that he was to attend. Harry made his way along the hallways of Hogwarts, passing Mrs Filch who hissed at him.

He entered again and found the office full once more. People were seated, talking quietly.

"Ah Harry, now we can begin," Dumbledore said, as he saw Harry enter the office. Harry quickly joined his parents who were seated near the back.
 "As many of you know, we will now be holding these meetings regularly." Dumbledore began. "First item of news, James Potter has rejoined the Ministry." A small burst of applause broke out and James grinned widely.
 "Secondly, Kingsley Shacklebolt has been named as Head Auror" Dumbledore continued with a smile and another burst of applause filled the office. "Both these appointments continue the hope that the Ministry will finally take the direction we have always hoped. Arthur Weasley is of course doing all he can to destabilise those trying to enforce Fudge's policies and stabilise his own." Dumbledore paused and beckoned to Snape who stood up.
 "I have discovered that Voldemort's current headquarters is at Dolohov's manor house," he began, his greasy hair shining in the torchlight. "I have this on solid information. I have also received information that he is planning to amass an army, larger than before to bring the fight to Hogwarts, and the Ministry. He plans to kill Potter in any way he can." Snape's eyes rested for a moment on Harry and Harry glared back at him.
 "You can see that it is imperative that we prepare for another attack on the castle," Dumbledore said. "We must fortify the castle, and the Ministry." Buffy stood up and Dumbledore nodded to her.
 "Um just an idea, but why?" she said, her voice powerful in the small room. "Why are we waiting? I say we should take the fight to his doorstep, go to Dolohov's and finish it." Talk broke out in the room, as people argued amongst themselves. Dumbledore lifted his hands and the room quieted down.
 "I think it's time to face this," Buffy continued. "Instead of waiting for him to amass another army and attack us, let's attack him unawares. The slayers are ready."

 "We can't just show up on his doorstep and expect to achieve victory," Snape broke in.
 "Why not?" Dumbledore said unexpectedly. Several gasps filled the room and Harry sat up straighter. "Miss Summers presents an interesting idea. The Order is powerful, an army and together I feel that victory will be at hand. But only with your support. Do I have it?" Buffy, still on her feet turned to him.
 "You have mine," she declared.
 "And mine," Sirius said, standing up next to her and taking her hand.
 "I'm in," Harry said, his own voice taking him by surprise. He stood up clumsily.
 "So am I," said James, glancing at his son, and Lily stood up too. Gradually, the room filled as the Order one by one pledged their support to Dumbledore and the war. Finally, Dumbledore turned to Snape.
 "Severus, do I have your support?" he said. Snape scrutinised him.
 "Yes, I suppose you do," he said, face paler than usual. Dumbledore turned back to the Order.
 "Then tomorrow we meet here, seven o clock." He said, and Harry could feel the tension in the room. "Portkeys at seven thirty. Prepare yourselves."