Sam laid awake in her bed. The small space of her quarters on base making her feel claustrophobic. The silence and her thoughts keeping her awake. It was the first time since the incident on the planet that she'd had time to stop and think and she didn't like it. The fire fight against the Jaffa, the running, watching her CO get hit by a staff blast that was meant for her. It was all running through her head over and over again. The only escape she got from those kind of thoughts was the times she was thinking about the moment with Jack before it all happened. She didn't know whether it was her imagination, a dream or something else, something that she would both treasure forever and hate. It had not only shown their love for each other but each second towards the inevitable felt like an ever increasing weight that was causing more pain in her heart than was ever imaginable .

     Only one person would know the answer to her amounting number of questions but he was lying in the infirmary with his life in the balance. She couldn't just lie there with her thoughts. Sam lifted herself of the bed and pulled on some clothes, stopping for a instant to look at herself in the small mirror. She looked as tired as she felt. But as sleep wouldn't come to her she left her quarters to go look for it.

    She found herself outside the doors to the infirmary where she had been standing just hours before. Her aimless walking of the SGC corridors had led her directly to what was causing her insomnia. She walked in, the silence from the rest of the SGC was carried into the room. No other beds were filled and Jack was in a separate room until well enough. Walking in that direction she screamed in her head to turn back her thoughts telling her that no good would come of being here. She listened to her heart instead. Once inside she walked up to the bed, noticing the nurse at one side she coughed to get her attention.

   "Yes Ma'am ?" She asked looking up from her book.

   "I.. err .. can I just have five minutes alone, I'll promise to call you in if there's even the slightest change" The nurse nodded and took her book outside. Sam knew she was just outside the door. Sam relaxed and sat down in the hard plastic chair that previously sat the nurse. Reaching over the bed she gently clasped Jack's hand and took her first major look at Jacks condition. What looked like a hundred of tubes and wires were coming out of him and a small steady beep sounded every second.

     "Sir… erm Jack, I err don't know if you can hear me or not and if your not I'm sure as hell won't be repeating myself so listen carefully. That mission was going wrong from the start and I know that, you knew it. I saw it in your eyes the moment we first saw the jaffa. Then you told me to run ahead, get to the stargate and I followed your orders but you didn't follow behind me. Teal'C held me down from running in there straight away guns a blazing. I stopped for a second, calmed myself down before stealthily going to find you. I was so scared Jack, scared that you had died in the forest, that you had died alone because I followed your orders and left you behind. Isn't that you number one rule ? Never leave anyone behind ? Well the rule applies to you too sir. Then everything after that happened too quickly. I remember you running towards me as I turned around and just as you jumped in front of me something strange happened. The two of us were standing alone somewhere, I don't know where and you were telling me how you were about to die. You held me in your arms, told me you loved me and you repeated those fateful words you said during the za'tarck test." Sam started crying

"I stood there and couldn't believe what was happening, Its hard knowing the man you loved with all your heart was about to die in front of your eyes and you could do nothing to stop it. Hard having to say goodbye  I didn't want to ever let you go but it wasn't up to me. The device gave up on us and time resumed. I held my breath for god knows how long, holding my fingers at you neck and willing you to have a pulse and you did. You survived somehow and although the heroic death would have suited you I guess death wasn't ready to take you. Cos now I can tell you how I feel with out knowing that it could be the last time you ever hear it. I love you Jack" A couple of seconds passed before the nurse walked back in. Sam covertly pulled her hand away from Jack's.

   "I'm sorry Ma'am, times up."

    "Its okay, I was kinda finished anyway. I think I can sleep now" Sam said walking out of the room.