Chapter 29
Never Awake

Harry's stared in terror as he stared down at the note on the ground. It was in Katrina's handwriting, and Harry almost collapsed onto the ground when he realized that he was reading her suicide note. He threw the note
onto the ground as he took of running as fast as he could. There on the ground by Hagrid's hut, right where her note said she was going to be, he
found her body scrawled upon the ground.

"Katrina! Oh, Katrina, please don't be dead! Please don't be dead!" he cried as he threw himself on the ground beside her. His friends were following him but he didn't notice.

"Oh my God!" Ginny shouted, but Harry didn't hear her. His thoughts were on Katrina.

Harry stared down onto her. There was a knife in her hand and a slash across her neck which was swimming in a puddle of deep crimson blood. Harry shook her, not wanting to believe that she was already dead before he could save her.

"No!" he cried out. "How could this happen, Katrina!"

He continued to try to shake her awake until the combined force of Ron and Neville pulled him away. As Harry starred down at the crumbled remains of the girl that he had loved, he was not looking at Dumbledore's great niece, or a spy for Dumbledore's cause, or a powerful witch, Voldermort's daughter and the heir to Voldermort and the Death Eater's, no, he was looking at the girl who has looked so pretty standing on his doorstep to take him away from the Dursley's, the girl who he rescued from a bucking broomstick, the girl who was afraid of spiders but loved heights, the girl who could sing and play the guitar put could not pass any of the basic Herbology tests, the girl whom he had loved so much the entire time she was dating another guy, the girl who was obsessed with fashion, and who has kissed Harry liked she had never meant to ever let him go. She was Katrina Figg, the first person he had really loved and she would never awake.

Harry couldn't help the tears that ran down his cheek as his friends drug him away to the castle, where someone would have to tell Albus Dumbledore that his most beloved niece had just killer herself and was lying on a cold patch of ground near Hagrid's vegetable garden.

Months after the funeral people would probably tell Harry that it was a very lovely surface in a vain attempt to comfort Harry, but it would never work. Nothing could ever be beautiful to Harry again. The choir sang very pretty sons that echoed of the walls of the church, but Harry took no notice. Someone had taken great care in placing red roses on almost every conceivable surface of the church, but Harry didn't notice that either. The sky outside was a clear bright shade of blue and the sun was shinning warmer that even though it was February, you couldn't help but think it was spring. But Harry didn't notice the beautiful weather either. In his eyes there was no more beauty left in the world. The only thing that had been beautiful in his life was Katrina Figg and now that she was gone, he didn't know how he could stand to go on living, seeing the sun and the sky, the flowers, and hearing the soft pretty voices of the church choir.

Harry sat on the bench at the very front of the church. On the bench, he sat among the people who had been the most important in Katrina's short life. Here he sat in between Dumbledore and Mrs. Figg. In the front row with him was Katrina's Aunt, her American muggle husband, and then Belinda and Brenda Parkerly who were both sobbing uncontrollably. They had been so close to Katrina, such good friends. How could they go on without her? Next was Professor Snape who looked very much alone. He had spent a great amount of time with Katrina and had been very fond of her. He had been the closest thing to a real dad she had known. He was her teacher, her mentor, her friend. Harry never thought he could feel sorry for Snape, but he did now. Snape looked broken. There was Arizona Brown and Drew Fordson, two of her best friends. Harry had a hard time even looking at Arizona. He did not look at all like himself. Normally, he reminded Harry of a handsome cross between Neville Longbottom and one of the Weasley twins, today he looked just as broken as Snape.

Behind him was sitting Neville and Hermione with the Weasley family. He had seen the look on Percy's face when they had entered the church and it had made his skin crawl. Percy looked as if he has already died, as if he should be in the grave instead of Katrina. His eyes looked glazed over, and his face was sunk into his skull as if he had not slept, ate or drank in a long time. Perhaps he hadn't. Harry didn't know how hard Percy was grieving because he had been too wrapped up in his own pain. Percy had loved Katrina just as much as he had, and even though he was overprotective and too fast to commit to something Katrina was not ready for, Harry had admitting that Percy had not treated her as lovingly as he did. But when Percy had caught his eye earlier in the day when they were entering the church, it was scary. He stared at Harry, his eyes burning a whole in the back of his head, a pronounced scowl of hatred that Harry had never seen on Percy's face before.

About an hour later, the funeral services were over and everyone was leaving to head back to Hogwarts where they would have a remberance wake for friends and family in Katrina's honor. Harry stood outside the church staring into nothing, not wanting to go. He had stood at her graveside as her coffin was lowered into the ground. He had watched Percy throw a bouquet of a dozen red long stem roses onto her grave. Percy had stood proud and tall, unflinching at the slight sound of the soft flowers hitting the cold surface of the closed coffin. Only one tear escape from his proud, determined eyes, and he did not pay any mind to it, Percy just let it roll on down as he turned away from the graveside and walked over to meet with his parents in the carriage they were taking back to Hogwarts.

Hermione and Ginny must have seen the look on his face as he watched Percy with his ritual. Both girls threw their arms around him in a hug that was mean to comfort, but Harry took no comfort from it. Ron and Neville grabbed their girlfriend's arms and pulled them away to give Harry his time alone.

"Leave him alone, you two," he heard Ron whisper. "Let him have his space."

Harry felt eternally grateful to his best friend as he watched the four of them walk away. Hermione and Ginny may have the best of intentions and his best interest at heart, but he could not bear to listen to their attempts at consoling him one more time. It strained his heart to watch as they walked away; Hermione and Ron arm in arm, and Neville and Ginny holding hands. Harry was not jealous for his friend's happiness with each other. No, he just quietly remembered that he would never quite fit into that group ever again now that he had lost Katrina. The couples would be kind to him, and would certainly be the same blessed friend they had always been to him, but things were different now. They had all paired up, and now his pair was broken, and Harry knew things would not be the same in his life ever again.

Harry walked over to one of the carriages. He would not ride with the Weasley family. Naturally, they all could not fit into one carriage but it both carriages either they would try to ease Percy's pain or they would talk about him and Harry could not bear to witness either. He knew the Weasley's were just as concerned about him, but Harry couldn't bear that concern either. Harry decided he would ride in the carriage with Arizona Brown and Drew Fordson when Albus Dumbledore laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Harry," he said, "I would like you to ride to Hogwarts with me. There is much that we must discuss alone."

Dumbledore did not speak until the carriage began to move and sway into motion. It was just the two of them in the carriage and Harry was quite sure he knew which direction that their conversation would head.

"Harry, I do not blame you for the death of my niece, but I must know the reasons that she took her own life. I must ask you to allow me to read and make copies of the letter she wrote to you so that I and my family can read it, and understand what happened with her," he calmly said.

Harry sighed. "No, sir, I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Oh," said the headmaster. "And why not?"

"She wrote it to me, Professor, not to anyone else. It was addressed to me, and I don't think she would want anyone else to read her final thoughts but me. If she wanted you to read it, or anyone else, I think she would have said so. But it only had my name on it, and I am sorry, but I must do as I think she would want me to do and not give anyone else her note,"

"I understand that you feel that this was her last wish and you must honor that, but, Harry, my niece was very important to me, and I need to know why she took her own life. I need to know if had anything to do with Voldermort."

"Do you think that he forced her to do it, or possessed her, or maybe murdered her and made it look like a suicide?" he asked.

"No, I do not think any of that is true, Harry, but I think that I know the reason why. She was my niece and a great source of love and pride for me. I have no children or grandchildren and my brother Aberforth had no children also. I had never felt neglected in that because of my students are so important to me, but the daughters and granddaughters of my sister are one my greatest joy in life. I have watched you more closely that you could ever imagine and protected you more often that you would ever know, so I know you very well, Harry, and I know that you and my niece cared very much for each other, and you would not be unloyal to her in death, but you must allow me to read that letter."

"Professor, do you think that her suicide could have anything to do with me?" he asked as the carriage halted on the school grounds.

"I had trained Katrina she was very small in all the greatest area of magic that I know. She had been trained by Professor Snape and by many great teachers at her American school. Her Aunt had taught her many incredible things being the powerful witch that she is and so has her grandmother. Other teachers at Hogwarts that I put great faith in have also taught her. Katrina was gift and she had the greatest potential. Being Voldermort's daughter, she was given great power through birth. Together we have used the Pensive to extract memories from her early childhood that she could never recall without its use. From these extracted thoughts, we have learned much about her past, and about Voldemort."

"I know this already," said Harry.

"Please let me explain, Harry. Although this will bring you no comfort, I think it is best that you know the truth," said Dumbledore. "When she was a very small child, Voldemort found a way to cast spells on her that would duplicate much of his own knowledge and magical abilities into her mind. When she was barely old enough to walk and talk her magical ability and knowledge was therefore powerful that most grown wizards. She could kill someone with the Avada Kedarva curse without putting any thought into it. She knew that materials needed for complex potions and could mix them together perfectly without any effort at all."

A small smile of pride quickly flashed across the old man's worn face. "I'm sure you could guess that this made her Professor Snape's ideal student. He took great pleasure in teaching the very young child to make the most complex potions that she did not know through the magic of her father. And she always made them perfectly. Snape was also given the opportunity to privately teach her Defense against the Dark Arts. As you know, he is a former Death Eater so he has extensive knowledge on the subject. He has been a good tutor for her on the subject, but I have never given him the Dark Arts job because I fear if he surrounded himself with so much of it, it would be a temptation and a danger to him. Like giving a recovering alcoholic a job working at a brewery. Teaching Katrina to defend herself helped him, and it was great training for her. When Snape was a Death Eater, he was of Voldermort's top agents, so he knew Katrina as a baby and saw her with her parents. She recognized him when she saw him after we had taken her away, and was a comforting figure to her young self. She never trusted me, she had been taught to hate me. I gained her trust as she grew. Katrina had a great potential. We trained her to do a great number of extraordinary things. We taught her how to fight, and how to protect herself. And her mission was to protect you. That's what we had trained her for. We knew Voldermort would be back someday. She was supposed to keep you safe."

A great sickness plagued his heart as Harry heard those words. It was Katrina's job to protect him. And she killed herself. What made her do that?

"You must let me read the letter," said Dumbledore. "Her family and I need to know for our own personal reasons, and we almost know what it says for reasons of security. Her suicide most certainly had something to do with Voldemort, and it could affect your personal safety. I understand your moral dilemma, Harry, but you must allow me to read that letter."

The wake in the Great Hall did not cheer Harry's sobriety. He knew that wouldn't. Harry couldn't take his eyes off of Percy who had been starring at Harry in a very dark fashion.

"Mum says Percy's beside himself in grief." Ron said. "He hasn't eaten much lately. Mum is afraid he is going to get ill."

At this, Harry excused himself from the table, determined not to meet Percy's eyes. Harry knew that it was time for him to give up Katrina's letter to Dumbledore, but he would do that in the next morning. He wanted to read it one more time before he could do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry, it's taken so long for me to update. I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as I can!