Notes: Yo, dudes! What's up? This a. uhm. fic. Yes. And it's totally gen!

Warnings: This will have no beta. Sorry. I just don't have the time! Also, this is my first time ever writing Snitch. So bear with me, ok?  Also, this is just bad. It was a good idea, but I massacred it. I apologize. Maybe later I'll make it better?

Disclaimer: I don't own Snitch, Newsies, or very much of anything at all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Lute! And I hope you enjoy this fic. Sorry that it kinda sucks. Kinda being an understatement. ::sheepish grin::

The Birds and the Bees

Snitch was skipping along, humming to himself, papers gone and change jingling in his pockets. He grinned into the cool air, and watched his breath curl around his head.

It had been a good day.

Snitch walked straight, his mind elsewhere.

He walked past the well-populated streets; his feet took him down small side streets and alleys, past closed shops and abandoned buildings. Bars were just opening, even though it was only mid-afternoon. The voices of the street peddlers grew dimmer as he walked.

Snitch blinked. His eyes darting about as he took in the sights. They drifted to the cloudless sky above, and to the gritty street below. The sun was heading westward; the shadows all around him were lengthening. Snitch's smile broadened. He didn't think he'd ever been to this part of town before! He watched the passing scenes with interest. He didn't even mind when the houses around him became boarded up and run down, or when the streets became grungy and littered with trash. Snitch kept walking with a smile on his face, and a song on his lips.

Snitch stood at the mouth of an alley, trying to decide whether or not to turn onto it.

Out of the shadows, a sweet voice floated over to him.

"Hey, boy."

Snitch shook his head, his brain plummeting back down from the clouds and back into his head.

"What? Huh?" Snitch looked around, and didn't see anyone.

A woman disengaged herself from the shadows lining the alley. Her skirt was made of tattered scarves woven together; it was hacked short a little below knee level. Her shirt, what there was of it, was cut low and pushed up her breasts. Her smile was painted bright red, and her arms were wound around her waist. Her eyes were dark and large, but the wrinkles around them showed the signs of her age. Her hands were bony and her joints were prominent.

Snitch looked over at her, carefully keeping his eyes off her chest, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"You talkin' to me?"

Her smile grew.

"Who else would I be talkin' to?"

Snitch looked about, the street was empty. Her turned back to her and favored her with a guileless smile.

"Oh." He said, "Hullo."

She smiled wider, showing him her teeth; they weren't a pleasure to look at. Maybe she could get some money out of this one.

"You in the mood for some fun?" She asked him. Snitch wrinkled his nose. Fun? What did she mean?

"Sure! What're we doin'?"

The woman's smile faded slightly. Was this boy extremely dense or something?

"Do you, you know, want to have a good time?"

This only succeeded in making Snitch more confused. His brows were drawn down in intense thought. What was she going on about?

"Doing what?"

"What do you think?!" She looked at him like he was crazy; her red painted lips stopped smiling.

"I don't know! What are you talkin' about?" The woman opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly taken by surprise. What was this fool doing here?

"Sex! What did you think I was talking about?" Snitch's face cleared of confusion.

"Oh! Sex! I've heard of that!" Snitch grinned again, bouncing slightly on his toes. The woman looked relieved.

"Good, so, you wanna? I'm worth your money.."

Snitch looked confused again. Money? Why would he give her money? And what did you do in sex, anyway? He'd heard it was fun..

"Uhm. sure! Okay. Just tell me what to do." He grinned at her. She raised an eyebrow at him, scrutinizing his reaction.

"You have no idea what sex actually is, do you?" Snitch's smile didn't fade.

"Nope, not really." She sighed at him.

"Do you know what a whore is?"

"Isn't it someone who sells herself? Why would someone want to sell herself?"

The woman just looked at him. Why had someone so innocent come around here? Stupidity?

"Okay, okay, this one's on me. I'll fill you in." She beckoned him closer with a sharp fingernail. Snitch sidled closer to her, still grinning, and she leaned over to whisper in his ear. "It starts like this.." Her voice got softer as she talked. Several minutes passed.

As she talked to him, his smile slowly faded and his eyes widened. A slow burning blush stained his cheeks.

Finally, she pulled back, and Snitch shuddered.

"Ew, ew, ew. Yuck! That sounds disgusting! Ew. Body parts flying everywhere, dripping fluid, ew. Yuck." He shuddered violently again.

"Sure babe, whatever. If you ever want to feel good, you know where to find me." Snitch nodded slowly and swallowed loudly. The whore sighed and rolled her eyes.

Snitch turned and walked away as fast as his legs could carry him. As he walked off, the whore could heard a dim "Ew!" and see his shoulders shiver again.

She grinned, and shook her head.

The End!