FADE IN ON JOSS, MARTI, BRAD, ANGEL, AND DAVID FURY SITTING AROUND THE SET OF ANGEL'S WOLFRAM AND HART OFFICE.

MARTI

So, we just had Angel walk down the alley singing-

Where do you all see us going with this?

ANGEL

Am I the only one who noticed how much better this show was when we actually wrote a whole script before we went to filming?

MARTI

Do you want us to bring Connor back?

ANGEL

(quickly)

No.

Cut to JOSS sitting in his chair with BRAD'S head in his lap, sadly still connected to his body. JOSS is stroking BRAD'S lame bleached hair.

JOSS

Then shut up.

MARTI

So.What next?

(Tune of I've Got a Theory/Bunnies/If We're Together)

JOSS
I got a story to get 'em steamin'
We'll make Faith beamin' and..nah why not just make Spike bare?

MARTI
I got a story to get 'em steamin'
We'll show Fred naked with a strange lack of pubic hair

BRAD
I got a story where Angel 'comes out'

JOSS, MARTI, and BRAD
These plots are dreary, but have no fear we know it will make viewers pout

DAVID FURY
We'll make it bitchin'!
'Last season' bitchin'!
Which is preponderous 'cause Angel he went evil and the plot was dark and that was wrong 'cause nobody went queer...
BRAD
I got a story:
We'll bring back Buffy.


EVERYONE REMEMBERS THAT THE ONLY REASON BRAD IS ON ANGEL IS BECAUSE SARAH QUIT AND DIDN'T WANT TO COMMIT TO A TV SHOW WHICH BLOWS. THEY ALL LOOK AT BRAD LIKE HE'S CRAZY

ANGEL
I've got a--

BRAD
Buffy's really just a girl with a case of psychosis!

BRAD then whips off his leather coat and throws it towards the camera as the coat flies past the camera is covers the lens and serves as a wipe to the new scene of BRAD dressed as a doctor in a mental hospital. (BRAD can be a doctor, you know, because he has a soul) other doctors circle him raising their arms and torsos up and down bowing before him in worship

BRAD

(pointing to himself)
She fucked up mentally and dreams up that she boned this!
So if dreamt the whole thing
Then why do we exist without her anyway?

THE DOCTORS ALL DISAPEAR IN PUFFS OF SMOKE AT THE COMPLETION THE WORD "ANYWAY"

BRAD


Buffy!
Buffy!
We'll bring back Buffy!


CUT TO EVERYONE SITTING IN THE OFFICE LOOKING AT BRAD, WHO IS NOW BACK IN HIS
NORMAL CLOTHES, SANS THE COAT

EVERYONE STILL LOOKS AT BRAD

BRAD
Or maybe Warren

DAVID FURY
I got a story we could kill off Brad

ANGEL and DAVID FURY
It'd be real gory, oh, the glory!
No one would be sad!


THE DOOR TO THE ROOM OPENS AND IN WALKS SPIKE. NO, NOT BRAD, SPIKE.

SPIKE
I got a story--
(looks at ANGEL and stops)
Wow you got fatter.

What'll it take to make this better
To forget Buffy and who will bed her
Crappy Plots.
We've all been there
The writers drug trips--
(Spike looks at Angel again, even more dumbfounded then before...)
Mate, what's with your hair?
ANGEL, SPIKE, and DAVID FURY

Why's this show suck worse by the minute?
Joss, why'd you get back involved in it?
It make viewers cry!
Rips off Anne Rice!
Won't let Brad die...

SPIKE
Hey that'd be nice!

SPIKE THEN PUNCHES BRAD UNCONSCIOUS

ANGEL, SPIKE, and DAVID FURY
What'll it take to make this better?
To end the steam of hateful letters.
No show ever suck worse

SPIKE
(softly into JOSS' ear)
Except for 'Buffy'...