"First Kiss: Rei/Ami" by Desslok
--------------------------------
[Author's Note: the characters here are inspired by the live-
action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon tv show, not the anime or the
manga. If you haven't given PGSM a chance, please do so. It's
really good!]
--------------------------------
"Oi, what could be keeping Usagi?" Makoto asked for the fifth
time in the last hour. She paced the floor of their secret
hangout anxiously watching the door. The tall brunette turned to
the table where Ami and Rei sat working on their homework
assignments. "Ami-chan, did she say anything to you?"
Ami looked up at Makoto, startled by the sudden, direct question.
Folding her hands over her book, she stammered, "No, Mako-chan,
she did not say anything to me. She had to remain behind to
clean, but that should have been over by now."
Rei grunted in exasperation. "She is not a child. You should not
treat her like one. Maybe she met up with her friend Osaka."
Suddenly, Rei's eyes darted to her left, just in time to see the
look of anxiety and dismay that Ami was already concealing. The
young miko glanced over to Makoto, but she had apparently not
noticed, busy as she was with her pacing.
"I'm sure she'd call us if anything was wrong," Ami offered
suddenly, her voice squeaking slightly. "She probably is with
Osaka-san." Ami's wan, resigned smile did not escape Rei's
notice.
Makoto grunted unhappily and spun a chair around, straddling it
and resting her hands on the back. She glared at Rei for a
moment before jumping to her feet once more. "I'm going to go
look for her," she declared emphatically. Without waiting for a
response from Rei, and without noticing Ami slowly rising to her
feet, Makoto loped up the stairs and out the door. Ami turned
toward Rei and sheepishly returned to her seat. Rei said
nothing.
Turning back to her books, Ami tried to resume studying. After a
few moments, she grew aware of Rei's penetrating stare. Lowering
her head submissively, Ami once again folded her hands in front
of herself and spun slightly toward Rei. "What is it, Rei-chan?"
The silence grew uncomfortable and Ami squirmed in her seat,
waiting in vain for Rei to respond. Tentatively, she lifted her
head to make eye contact. Rei leaned forward, her gaze bearing
down on Ami relentlessly. Again, Ami asked, "What is it, Rei-
chan?"
"Ami-chan, you've been acting a little strange lately," Rei noted
quietly. She did not offer any further analysis.
Ami swallowed, trying to wash away the lump in her throat. "I'm
just concerned about Usagi," she offered. Rei shook her head
curtly and waited.
"I am sorry, Rei-chan," Ami finally said, her gaze dropping back
to the tabletop. "I suppose I am not a very good friend for not
being able to explain."
Sighing inaudibly, Rei reached out and gently took Ami's chin in
her hand, lifting it so that their eyes could meet. Ami flinched
as Rei's fingertips came into contact with her skin, but did not
resist.
"Ami-chan, you are a good friend. You do not have a lot of
experience with friends. Neither do I. Truthfully, neither does
Makoto. But, this is not why you have been so upset lately, is
it?"
Ami tried fruitlessly to twist herself out of Rei's grasp, but
the miko's gentle grip remained firm. Tears began to well up in
the corners of her eyes. "I... I've had very strange
feelings...." she finally admitted. Rei nodded, her countenance
softening as she waited for Ami to continue.
"When Usagi spends time with Osaka-san, I get very angry," Ami
explained. Again, Rei bided her time, willing Ami to continue.
With a resigned sigh, Ami went on. "You explained to me that we
all have a dark side, but I think mine is very dark. I think..."
"It is ok, Ami-chan," Rei murmured soothingly. "We all want to
spend time with our friends, especially Usagi."
Ami shook her head fiercely, shaking Rei's hand loose at last.
"It is not just that, Rei-chan. I have had other bad thoughts.
When Usagi spends time with her other friends, I get upset. When
you and Makoto and Usagi went to the amusement park with Motoki
and his friends, I got very upset. When I see you and Makoto
together, I get upset. I don't understand what is wrong with me.
I feel like..."
Rei watched, pondering, as Ami hid her face behind her hands,
obviously trying to hold back more tears. She considered Ami's
words, in light of her own observations. She also recalled her
own feelings and reactions, when certain truths about her had
come to light. After some consideration, she asked softly, "What
do you feel like at those times, Ami-chan?"
"I feel... like a jealous lover..." Ami croaked in a voice laden
with unshed tears. "I want you all, all to myself." She lifted
her head briefly from her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Her heart breaking for her friend, Rei leaned forward and brushed
Ami's tears with the backs of her fingers. "Ami-chan," she
whispered, and her words unleashed the torrent of emotion Ami had
been barely able to restrain. With a sound between a sob and a
scream, Ami fell forward into Rei's arms. Rei slid her chair
closer and pulled Ami towards her, gently stroking her hair and
the back of her neck, waiting for the storm to subside.
After awhile, Rei began to talk quietly in Ami's ear. "Ami-chan,
not too long ago, I found myself increasingly agitated. I was
angry or sad all the time and I had no idea why. I was always
angry with all of the other girls at my temple and I was driving
them away, but the more I did, the worse I became. With one hand
I tried to pull them all closer, to cling to them, while with the
other hand, I pushed them away. I finally figured out that the
problem was not with them, but with me."
Ami pulled her damp face away from Rei just enough to speak.
"What was the problem, Rei-chan?" she sputtered.
Rei sighed heavily. "I am not like Usagi, Ami-chan. I do not like
boys the way that she does or that most girls do. I never have.
But, I've also realized that it is not just that." She closed
her eyes and admitted out loud for the first time something she
had only suspected about herself for a few months. "I like girls,
Ami-chan, in the way that most girls like boys." Rei could feel
Ami stiffen, but the young genius did not pull away.
"I was always mad or upset because I did not want to listen to
what my heart was trying to tell me. I didn't like anyone in
particular, but I also convinced myself I liked many of them, but
I did not want to admit that I liked any, and so all of those
emotions swirled around and made me act very strangely. When I
noticed you acting in a similar way, it made me think that maybe,
you had the same problem that I had."
Sitting up suddenly, Ami looked at Rei with fear in her eyes.
"Rei-chan, how did you fix it? How did you make it go away?"
Rei shook her head sadly. "Ami-chan, you cannot 'fix' the way you
feel. You simply must accept who you are. Once you accept the
way you feel, you can move forward with your life and you will
not be so upset without knowing why."
"Is there someone in particular you like, Rei-chan," Ami asked,
trying to divert her thoughts away from her own situation for a
moment.
Thoughts of Makoto pushing her on a cart, her hair flying in air
behind her, came unbidden to Rei's mind. She recalled Usagi
coming to her defense at the temple, preventing the other girls
from her school from hurting her. Finally, she became quite
conscious of Ami's proximity, remembering the sparks she felt
when they would share secret smiles when Usagi would say or do
something outrageous. This time, Rei lowered her eyes, unable to
meet Ami's, as she admitted, "I think I like you all." A moment
passed, then Rei was startled to feel Ami's hand grasping her
chin. Looking up sharply, she saw Ami leaning forward.
"I think we have the same problem, Rei-chan," Ami whispered, her
expression expectant.
Closing her eyes, Rei pressed her head forward, tilting it
slightly. Her lips found Ami's even as her young friend's hands
grasped her own. Rei's heart leapt in her chest and she could
feel the nervous quiver in Ami's fingers, and her own.
Eventually, they parted, each searching the other to make sure
that everything was all right. Seeing their expressions mirrored
on each other, both girls began to giggle.
Ami rested her head on Rei's chest, leaning against her side. "I
don't know what happens now, Rei-chan," she finally admitted.
Rei kissed the top of Ami's head. "Neither do I, Ami-chan, but I
think everything will be better now." Ami nodded and nuzzled Rei
gently before sitting back up and sliding her chair back to its
customary place. The two senshi shared a warm smile as the door
flew open and Usagi breezed in, an irritated Makoto in tow. Ami
and Rei both perked up as their two friends entered the room,
then they noticed each other doing so, and broke out in a fresh
fit of giggles.
Usagi looked questioningly at Makoto, who shrugged, but suddenly
began to feel a spark of emotion inside. She frowned as she
entered the room, not paying attention as Usagi showed Ami and
Rei all the things she had bought. Why in the world would the
sight of Ami and Rei sharing a secret chuckle agitate her so?
--------------------------------
[Author's Note: the characters here are inspired by the live-
action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon tv show, not the anime or the
manga. If you haven't given PGSM a chance, please do so. It's
really good!]
--------------------------------
"Oi, what could be keeping Usagi?" Makoto asked for the fifth
time in the last hour. She paced the floor of their secret
hangout anxiously watching the door. The tall brunette turned to
the table where Ami and Rei sat working on their homework
assignments. "Ami-chan, did she say anything to you?"
Ami looked up at Makoto, startled by the sudden, direct question.
Folding her hands over her book, she stammered, "No, Mako-chan,
she did not say anything to me. She had to remain behind to
clean, but that should have been over by now."
Rei grunted in exasperation. "She is not a child. You should not
treat her like one. Maybe she met up with her friend Osaka."
Suddenly, Rei's eyes darted to her left, just in time to see the
look of anxiety and dismay that Ami was already concealing. The
young miko glanced over to Makoto, but she had apparently not
noticed, busy as she was with her pacing.
"I'm sure she'd call us if anything was wrong," Ami offered
suddenly, her voice squeaking slightly. "She probably is with
Osaka-san." Ami's wan, resigned smile did not escape Rei's
notice.
Makoto grunted unhappily and spun a chair around, straddling it
and resting her hands on the back. She glared at Rei for a
moment before jumping to her feet once more. "I'm going to go
look for her," she declared emphatically. Without waiting for a
response from Rei, and without noticing Ami slowly rising to her
feet, Makoto loped up the stairs and out the door. Ami turned
toward Rei and sheepishly returned to her seat. Rei said
nothing.
Turning back to her books, Ami tried to resume studying. After a
few moments, she grew aware of Rei's penetrating stare. Lowering
her head submissively, Ami once again folded her hands in front
of herself and spun slightly toward Rei. "What is it, Rei-chan?"
The silence grew uncomfortable and Ami squirmed in her seat,
waiting in vain for Rei to respond. Tentatively, she lifted her
head to make eye contact. Rei leaned forward, her gaze bearing
down on Ami relentlessly. Again, Ami asked, "What is it, Rei-
chan?"
"Ami-chan, you've been acting a little strange lately," Rei noted
quietly. She did not offer any further analysis.
Ami swallowed, trying to wash away the lump in her throat. "I'm
just concerned about Usagi," she offered. Rei shook her head
curtly and waited.
"I am sorry, Rei-chan," Ami finally said, her gaze dropping back
to the tabletop. "I suppose I am not a very good friend for not
being able to explain."
Sighing inaudibly, Rei reached out and gently took Ami's chin in
her hand, lifting it so that their eyes could meet. Ami flinched
as Rei's fingertips came into contact with her skin, but did not
resist.
"Ami-chan, you are a good friend. You do not have a lot of
experience with friends. Neither do I. Truthfully, neither does
Makoto. But, this is not why you have been so upset lately, is
it?"
Ami tried fruitlessly to twist herself out of Rei's grasp, but
the miko's gentle grip remained firm. Tears began to well up in
the corners of her eyes. "I... I've had very strange
feelings...." she finally admitted. Rei nodded, her countenance
softening as she waited for Ami to continue.
"When Usagi spends time with Osaka-san, I get very angry," Ami
explained. Again, Rei bided her time, willing Ami to continue.
With a resigned sigh, Ami went on. "You explained to me that we
all have a dark side, but I think mine is very dark. I think..."
"It is ok, Ami-chan," Rei murmured soothingly. "We all want to
spend time with our friends, especially Usagi."
Ami shook her head fiercely, shaking Rei's hand loose at last.
"It is not just that, Rei-chan. I have had other bad thoughts.
When Usagi spends time with her other friends, I get upset. When
you and Makoto and Usagi went to the amusement park with Motoki
and his friends, I got very upset. When I see you and Makoto
together, I get upset. I don't understand what is wrong with me.
I feel like..."
Rei watched, pondering, as Ami hid her face behind her hands,
obviously trying to hold back more tears. She considered Ami's
words, in light of her own observations. She also recalled her
own feelings and reactions, when certain truths about her had
come to light. After some consideration, she asked softly, "What
do you feel like at those times, Ami-chan?"
"I feel... like a jealous lover..." Ami croaked in a voice laden
with unshed tears. "I want you all, all to myself." She lifted
her head briefly from her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Her heart breaking for her friend, Rei leaned forward and brushed
Ami's tears with the backs of her fingers. "Ami-chan," she
whispered, and her words unleashed the torrent of emotion Ami had
been barely able to restrain. With a sound between a sob and a
scream, Ami fell forward into Rei's arms. Rei slid her chair
closer and pulled Ami towards her, gently stroking her hair and
the back of her neck, waiting for the storm to subside.
After awhile, Rei began to talk quietly in Ami's ear. "Ami-chan,
not too long ago, I found myself increasingly agitated. I was
angry or sad all the time and I had no idea why. I was always
angry with all of the other girls at my temple and I was driving
them away, but the more I did, the worse I became. With one hand
I tried to pull them all closer, to cling to them, while with the
other hand, I pushed them away. I finally figured out that the
problem was not with them, but with me."
Ami pulled her damp face away from Rei just enough to speak.
"What was the problem, Rei-chan?" she sputtered.
Rei sighed heavily. "I am not like Usagi, Ami-chan. I do not like
boys the way that she does or that most girls do. I never have.
But, I've also realized that it is not just that." She closed
her eyes and admitted out loud for the first time something she
had only suspected about herself for a few months. "I like girls,
Ami-chan, in the way that most girls like boys." Rei could feel
Ami stiffen, but the young genius did not pull away.
"I was always mad or upset because I did not want to listen to
what my heart was trying to tell me. I didn't like anyone in
particular, but I also convinced myself I liked many of them, but
I did not want to admit that I liked any, and so all of those
emotions swirled around and made me act very strangely. When I
noticed you acting in a similar way, it made me think that maybe,
you had the same problem that I had."
Sitting up suddenly, Ami looked at Rei with fear in her eyes.
"Rei-chan, how did you fix it? How did you make it go away?"
Rei shook her head sadly. "Ami-chan, you cannot 'fix' the way you
feel. You simply must accept who you are. Once you accept the
way you feel, you can move forward with your life and you will
not be so upset without knowing why."
"Is there someone in particular you like, Rei-chan," Ami asked,
trying to divert her thoughts away from her own situation for a
moment.
Thoughts of Makoto pushing her on a cart, her hair flying in air
behind her, came unbidden to Rei's mind. She recalled Usagi
coming to her defense at the temple, preventing the other girls
from her school from hurting her. Finally, she became quite
conscious of Ami's proximity, remembering the sparks she felt
when they would share secret smiles when Usagi would say or do
something outrageous. This time, Rei lowered her eyes, unable to
meet Ami's, as she admitted, "I think I like you all." A moment
passed, then Rei was startled to feel Ami's hand grasping her
chin. Looking up sharply, she saw Ami leaning forward.
"I think we have the same problem, Rei-chan," Ami whispered, her
expression expectant.
Closing her eyes, Rei pressed her head forward, tilting it
slightly. Her lips found Ami's even as her young friend's hands
grasped her own. Rei's heart leapt in her chest and she could
feel the nervous quiver in Ami's fingers, and her own.
Eventually, they parted, each searching the other to make sure
that everything was all right. Seeing their expressions mirrored
on each other, both girls began to giggle.
Ami rested her head on Rei's chest, leaning against her side. "I
don't know what happens now, Rei-chan," she finally admitted.
Rei kissed the top of Ami's head. "Neither do I, Ami-chan, but I
think everything will be better now." Ami nodded and nuzzled Rei
gently before sitting back up and sliding her chair back to its
customary place. The two senshi shared a warm smile as the door
flew open and Usagi breezed in, an irritated Makoto in tow. Ami
and Rei both perked up as their two friends entered the room,
then they noticed each other doing so, and broke out in a fresh
fit of giggles.
Usagi looked questioningly at Makoto, who shrugged, but suddenly
began to feel a spark of emotion inside. She frowned as she
entered the room, not paying attention as Usagi showed Ami and
Rei all the things she had bought. Why in the world would the
sight of Ami and Rei sharing a secret chuckle agitate her so?
