No. Escaflowne not mine. Allen Schezar not
mine.
But, Lady Gabriella and other Asturian guards are mine.
~*~*~*~
~*~ Allen Schezar ~*~
But of all us, my brothers believe she hated me first, but loved me most…
~*~*~*~
"Who approaches the Council?" a voice boomed from behind the oaken doors.
"Lady Gabriella Daniel Marquis," my teacher resounded proudly, answering the authority to which she bowed to as well. "And Knight Allen Crusade Schezar," she added pointedly, kicking my shin to alert me to raise my miserable head.
"Approach the Council proper…" the Head of the Council beckoned, and we did so. Kneeling a little behind my Lady garbed in crimson and white, I pondered my presence within the Council walls. What hath I done…? What was my crime to be dragged here…? What—
"State your purpose, Lady Gabriella…"
"By Law of the Council, I request Knight Allen Crusade Schezar to be removed from his post as my student…" I choked back a silent sob, "… to be brought forward as my formal apprentice to a Knight of Caeli…"
I snapped my attention to her, eyes showing all its whites. Caeli apprenticeships were for *LIFE*…! She could not mean—
"The Council has conferred. Knight Allen Crusade Schezar, what is your answer to this request?"
I flickered a glance towards my Lady's cool gaze, an eyebrow challenging my decision. I rose a shaky head towards the plump Head of the Council, my expression not unlike a deer caught in a belled-trap[1].
"I-I… accept the wishes of my Lady, and accept the wishes of the Council…" I found my voice at last, confidence slowly falling easily into my speech like my instructor had taught us all when speaking to our Elders…
"It is decided, then…" a sword was drawn from its sheath – Lady Gabriella's – and touched a shoulder, "Knight Allen Crusade Schezar, you are now formal apprentice to Lady Gabriella Daniel Marquis, Knight of Caeli…" the blade swung above my crown, touching my opposite shoulder.
"Rise, apprentice mine," my teache—no, mentor's smooth alto commanded. I did so. With blessings from the Council, we exited the crescent room, bowing to the Head and twelve Elders…
"Why…?" I whispered, resting my back against the cold stone beside the oaken portal.
Expecting the wounding words that never came, I was overwhelmed by disbelief to be wrapped in her embrace instead, her taller head resting against my crown.
"Because…" she whispered, stroking my back, "Simply because…"
Stepping away from me, she backed slowly into the shadows, "I do this for you, my son… Do not disappoint me…" Her fingers finally left mine, and she was gone…
~*~*~*~
Lady Gabriella
drove me harder in the Caeli sword-fields during the day, had me sleepless
with books and scrolls and parchments strewn around me in my bed during
the night… Indeed, Caeli apprenticeship was harder than anything I had
encountered yet, leaving me dead by the first color.
But through it all, she remained beside me. If I fell to my knees with
sheer exhaustion, she would drown me with water and make me stand. If I
cried with frustrations over the indiscernible text, she would drag me to
the library and guide me to other books until I understood. Her
indifference was painful to swallow, but at the end of the day, most
appreciated…
It was also during my Caeli apprenticeship when I knew how deeply she loved me…
~*~*~*~
I tugged at my bonds, screaming in anguish. Would this pain never ebb…?!
Through my blurred vision, my angel edged in darker shades of red came to me. She straddled me and stilled my shaking arms.
"Shh, Schezar, shh…" her voice like a balm to my frantic mind, my cloudy senses suppressed into helpless oblivion, "I know it hurts… I know it hurts so… I am with you… Do not fear…"
The searing fire engulfed wracked my ailing body. I shrieked, arching and tensing my already knotted muscles.
My angel pressed my body to the mattress, she pleaded, "Stop thrashing, Schezar… You'll only make it worst…!!"
I wailed into the night…
My body was on fire, but at intervals, I felt so, so cold… My bones felt as if they were twisted, my muscles torn from me… My mind came and left me in a vicious cycle, leaving me at times a babbling idiot, at others a broken, weeping child… My vision stung, hazed in shades of red… Such was the excruciating tortures of the Scarlet Fever[2] set deep into my veins that claimed me repeatedly…
And for all of ten moons, my mentor stayed with me, holding me down as best she could when I went into frightening spasms, soothing my brow when the agony seized me, stroking my throat after my hoarse howls of suffering. She sponged my sweating forehead, massaged my aching body to relax, spooned the brackish herbs into my disagreeable mouth as she stayed by side throughout the whole ordeal…
When the Fever left me at last, I crack my exhausted eyes to see her laid across my chest in her last attempt to pacify me. The countless tear-lines down her pale cheeks told me how hard it was to watch me bear the torment of a disease no one could treat, except to allow it to run its course. I began sobbing so…
I promised myself, no matter what, I would never forget this woman, ever…
~*~*~*~
She loved me
unconditionally, never asking for anything in return… at least, never
directly. She said that my obedience was enough…
Then she mocked me to walk through fire with her…
But in all honesty, if she told me to hang myself by my belt or pierce my heart with my sword, I would do so willingly… She sacrificed everything she had since the day she took me in as her apprentice – it hurt me to the same point of agony when the Scarlet Fever consumed my body.
Some things can be
measured by gold…
Other things can only be measured in blood…
~*~*~*~
"W-what… W-what are you… doing…?" she wheezed as I tightened the bindings choking my arm, raising my dagger against my pale flesh. She gasped, struggling weakly against the nurses holding her still, "S-stop… S-Schezar, n-no…"
I gritted as I pressed the sharpest end against my wrist. The wound swelled with crimson life. Quickly, I brought it to her lips, begging her to take my gift, "Please, Lady Gabriella…"
She had lost so much blood against the traitorous snake that had the courage to betray our fair Kingdom, the guards that brought her in did not dare treat her while in the field. The healers that hovered over her informed us of a torn wrist, a broken hip, and seven bruised ribs, aside from the gaping wound at her side, her slashed thighs and a bloodied scalp. How did she stand against an opponent with such grievous wounds, I did not know…
Seeing her suddenly too frail body swathed in bandages, I understood what she had once gone through for me. The gnawing helplessness, hope clinging by a thread, never knowing if one would live or die by the next breath… I waited silently by her bedside, praying to all the gods to grant me naught, but the life of my Lady…
They took my mother away…
They would not take her again[3]…
"Hey…" she croaked, stroking my golden locks. I leapt to my feet, taking her hand. "Lady Gabriella…?!"
She smiled serenely. I believe it was her first smile to me.
"Thank you… Allen Schezar…"
~*~*~*~
Against her wishes,
I enrolled myself for the Caeli trials. When she heard of my disobedience,
she flew into a rage. I did not see her for all of five moons…
And when she came back…
~*~*~*~
I jumped as she slammed a thick manuscript against the mahogany table as I stood beside her in her private study, yet to recover from her injuries. Such violent behavior seemed yet to aggravate her wounds, though…
"The NERVE of you, *SCHEZAR*!!" she roared, slapping me soundly across my cheek, "You are hardly *QUALIFIED* for Senior Knighthood, and now you tell me you've penned your NAME for the *CAELI* TRIALS…?!?!" She swiped her arm across the table, upsetting the books and inkwells and goblet to the floor, shrieking, "SCHEZAR, DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN BE *KILLED* IN THE *TRIALS*?!?!?!"
I nodded wordlessly. I knew the risks of fighting within the Caeli arena. Though honor fights are expected, the judges would not be surprised should our swords draw blood, for that is how it truly is in the battlefield…
"*AND*?!"
"I am prepared to honor you, Lady Gabri—"
"There is no *HONOR* throwing your LIFE away prematurely[4], *SCHEZAR*!!" she hissed, shaking me by my shoulders. She searched my eyes, "*ALLEN*, I CANNA LOSE YOU…!!"
I was taken aback by her words. I knew I was Lady Gabriella's last standing knight, but I never thought I meant this much to her…
"If you seek *DEATH*, Allen Schezar…" she hissed, her tone suddenly changing like a turn in the wind, "Then *GO*." She whirled away from me, snatching the fallen chalice still rolling on the floor, "If you hold nothing dear to this mentor, then I beg only one promise from you…"
I swallowed, "Yes, Lady Gabriella…?"
"Come back alive…"
~*~*~*~
I never understood
her fear of death. No, she never feared her own – she feared the deaths of
those around her…
I first witnessed it when brother Daniel was taken from us. Lady Gabriella
dismissed us for almost a full color, allowing us time to heal. But we
agreed—we knew—the one who truly needed the most time, was Lady Gabriella
herself…
Then it was Sir Jacquis, passing away quietly in the stillness of the
night, his age finally failing his body. Lady Gabriella broke into pieces,
torn with the loss of her mentor…
Perhaps her father… Just as we were her sons, and she our
mother…
The answer came as an unexpected surprise buried within the depths of the books I studied as I prepared for the Trials…
~*~*~*~
General Alexander Kalihl Marquis was Lady Gabriella's first and only lover. They had met during the Wars, my mentor his trusted second-in-command. Their battle was won, but Lady Gabriella lost much that was dear to her within that one night – her home, her husband, and the child she carried within her belly…
From then on, life was never the same. The soldiers mocked her mercilessly for the weakness of her gender, comparing her to the dirt beneath their boots. Several times she was forced into their tents late at night, her screams unheard and unattended. The War years tore everything from her, the only female within their ranks…
But she survived, and so she strived. A single berserker frenzy led to the Willow Massacre, of which she was responsible for almost half the lives bathing the fields with their blood. The soldiers that witnessed this shrank away from her in fear.
Returning to Pallas, she was brought forth to the Council, to be either glorified as a war hero, or sentenced to her punishment for such savage bloodlust. That was when General Alexander's last will and testament was read, and with it, he granted her eternal freedom. Never again was she allowed to enter the battlefield without permission from the Council – instead, she was bound to the life of a Lady, to guide and instruct the generations that would follow…
Marveling her strict tutelage and rigid training, fear gradually turned to revered respect…
But the losses she suffered never left her, the scars so deep within her soul, the blood staining so, it could never be washed… Picking up the shattered pieces of her life, she could only rebuild herself slowly, a day by a day…
~*~*~*~
After the wars,
every life within her hand was viewed as a precious jewel – fragile like
the finest crystal… priceless like the Mystic Moon above…
Losing each one of us within the brittle web she woven with her love meant
losing another piece of herself… another shred of sanity torn from her
already frail existence…
I understood…
And so, I would never fail her.
~*~*~*~
"… and I dub thee, Allen Crusade Schezar, Heavenly Knight of Caeli…!!"
I raised my head, my ears ringing with the thunderous applause. I was the last Knight of Caeli to be knighted, since I was the youngest – not only of my generation, but in all Asturian history.
Who would've thought that I would come this far in my short life of mere 15 years…?
I scanned the hundreds that greeted me, eager handshakes and hearty congratulations poured down like rain, but it hurt me that the one woman I wanted to see eluded me…
I sighed. Hours after the knighting ceremony, I slipped away from the festivities to find my beloved mentor myself. Knocking on the doors that led to her private study, I prayed she would be present…
"Enter at your own risk, child…"
I chuckled as I pressed myself passed the oaken doors, "Oh, Lady Gabriella…"
She was nowhere to be found upon first glance, but a characteristic snort above me alerted me of her whereabouts. Partially hidden by the shadows, she sat comfortably on the highest step of her library ladder, a book on her lap, a familiar goblet of sweet smelling wine in her hand.
"Reading without a lamp would spoil your eyes, Lady Gabriella…" I suggested meekly, leaning slightly on the smooth wood that led to her ascension, "And wine would blind you early in your old age[5]…"
"Hn," she grunted as she flipped a page viciously, pretending to read, intending to ignore me.
"Oh, come now, Lady Gabriella…" I beckoned politely, "We are at present on par in rank if not by age—"
"You did not come to give me MEDICAL advice nor to suggest *CHIT-CHAT*, boy," she hissed as she slid from her perch, the book in her hand tossed carelessly in my direction, "What is it you truly *WANT*, Schezar?! *SPEAK*!!"
I took a moment to observe the title on the leather-bound manuscript in my hands, returning it to its rightful place amongst the silent soldiers adorning her much-loved shelves. Coming to her, I shrugged, "I want nothing from you, Lady Gabriella…
"Only to give you this…" I brought out a silver chalice with a bouquet of lavenders and baby's breath tied to its base.
It had taken me several colors worth of odd jobs outside the palace to earn enough gold and silver pieces to have this gift made. My brothers supported me, but since the two of them—Joseph and Jean-Luc, the only ones still in Pallas with me—were but natural sons from poor families, I more than covered their share when paying the silversmith few days prior…
She fingered the ornate offering, not a word passing her ruby lips. I made sure her name was carved into the rim, above the intricate Celtic knots and twin-swords over a Firebird that was her personal seal. Her emotions became guarded, a mask drawn over her turbulent golden eyes.
"Get out…" she whispered, backing from me to a shadowed corner, head turned away to hide her face. I was confused, "Lady Gabriella…?"
"I said GET OUT!!" she repeated, her voice tearing at me like ice against my skin, "*OUT*! *OUT*!! *OUT*!!!"
I gulped over her outburst, but stilled my wretched misery, "As you wish… Lady Gabriella…"
~*~*~*~
Ten years later, I
observed a withered bouquet tied beside her bed. She never threw it away…
And as for the chalice, the silver gleamed in the sun as it sat on her
favorite shelf, fruition of her daily devotion to care for it. One of the
chambermaids informed that Lady Gabriella never used it – it was too
good to be used…
It was the only gift I ever saw her treasure. And, selfish as it may be, I
am glad it was me and mine that gave her this miracle of joy…
It was the first of many presents we exchanged over the years…
~*~*~*~
I spluttered and choked as she threw her head back, roaring with laughter. Growling at her since I was incapable of speech yet, I gulped down a mug of soothing water, "It isn't funny, Lady Gabriella…"
"But you make it so easy, Schezar…" she mocked, snickering as she stroked a finger down the side of my face from temple to jaw, "And besides, you *did* ask me to order you your first tavern drink…"
I groaned, resting my roiling head against the wall beside our table, "Indeed… but I never expected it to be this—"
"Strong…?"
"—*POTENT*…" I hissed, glaring at her, then at the iron mug, then at her smirk once more, "What *DID* you order for me, Lady Gabriella…?!"
She grinned, "That is something I shall never reveal to you, apprentice mine…" Sighing, she slid her own mug towards me, "Here… Try this. This is the tavern's best mead – it should prove milder…"
I moaned, but reached out for the tarnished mug all the same. It was *I* that requested my mentor accompany me to my first tavern visit to celebrate the night of my 16th birthday… I did not dare show I was now harboring second thoughts regarding my choice of venue or method of commemoration. Steeling myself against whatever agony this lethal drink could unleash, I sipped at the rim…
"There now, was that so bad…?" my mentor purred as my lips came away from the mug, only to dive once more to taste the amber liquid so bittersweet on my tongue. At my unabashed greed, she burst out into fresh peals of laughter, "Oh my, Schezar… Have I made you so addicted to drink now…?"
"That was… good…" I remarked, a little disappointed as the last of the bubbling potion was drowned too quickly to my liking. Sheepishly, I pushed the empty goblet back to her, "Um…"
"Would you like more, Schezar…?"
Guiltily, I nodded. She tsked at me, but instead of the malicious sound I usually dreaded, this was filled with witty mirth.
I do not recall how the night passed us, though I do vaguely recollect downing at least four to five mugs of different drinks, ranging from raw mead to the finest wine. Alcohol-blushed and stumbling, my still sober mentor shouldered me home, to my private bedchambers…
Before she left for the night, I remember catching her wrist.
"Love you… Mama…"
~*~*~*~
Aoi Akiko rambles:
I have been led to believe that in Escaflowne, a moon = a day,
and a color = a month. If I am wrong, then whack me over the
head. If not, then... try not to get confused as you read the ficlet...
[1] ... deer caught in a
belled-trap...
The actual expression is '... deer caught in the headlights...', but
*come* ON!! This is Asturia - there aren't any headlights...!!
Lamplights, yes, but not headlights...
Ah, but animal traps then had bells to alert the hunter... So I used that
instead...
[2] Scarlet Fever
The name is given to the scarlet haze that veils one's eyes when infected.
Doctors see red eyes, and patient / victim sees everything in shades of
crimson.
*nod* I am a medical student... *shakes head* But no, the Scarlet Fever in *this* story holds no ties to the Scarlet Fever in our history... *grin* Caught you there
for a second, didn't I...?
[3] '... They took
my mother away... They would not take her again...'
Allen's lost his natural mother, Encia. I'm trying to portray that as the
years went by, he sees Lady Gabriella as the closest substitute, thus
praying that the 'gods' would not take Lady Gabriella's life, making him
lose another maternal figure in his life...
[4]
'...
There is no honor throwing your life
away prematurely...'
We saw this in episode 3/4, I think...
Allen suggests that Van shouldn't rush headlong into battle, and instead
retreating to survive. "As long as you are alive, Fanelia has a king..."
*sigh* such moving words, that whole scene...
*bows* Once more, summimasen desu, I'm trying to put in some things that
are canon to the original Escaflowne series...
[5] '... And wine would blind you
early in your old age...'
Wine is made up mostly of ethanol, but some contain trace amounts of
methanol. Methanol causes premature blindness... It's true...! So, *hint*
*hint* that's your medical advice of the day...! ^_^
