As Ginny told Dumbledore, Lupin, and McGonagall of the entries into her
mind, the three professors sat back and stared at her in a mixture of shock
and horror. Even the unshakable headmaster seemed quite disturbed over the
events in Ginny's tale. When she was finished, Ginny collapsed into the
seat Lupin had helped her into, shivering with fear and exhaustion. Her
secret was out; she could only hope there was something to help her.
The three professors looked from one another before Dumbledore spoke. "So Tom is able to read your mind?" he asked softly.
Ginny nodded. "It's not just the memory of Tom, either. It really is him, in his present form," she added as an afterthought.
At this, Lupin looked up suddenly, eyes wide. "This is the real Voldemort? Not just a memory?"
"Voldemort knows about Harry's Occlumancy?" McGonagall whispered.
Dumbledore seemed to sag, and Ginny's heart fell to her feet. "Well, now he knows why he hasn't been able to glean any information from his link with Harry. The question is, does he know anything else?" he asked, eyes meeting Ginny's.
Shaking her head rapidly, Ginny sought to placate her teachers. "No, I don't know anything else, honestly! I made Harry tell me about his Occlumancy lessons because I was angry. My brothers don't tell me anything about their work, either."
And she had never been so glad of it before.
The headmaster nodded, and silence fell over the office. Portraits were quietly murmuring to each other on the walls, and Ginny had never felt so scrutinized or judged in her life. Her head was pounding, her eyes were rough with the remains of her tears, and she was dead tired. Only the prevalent fear of dreams kept her from nodding off right in her chair.
Finally, Lupin spoke up. "Should she have Occlumancy lessons, then?" he asked Dumbledore.
The old wizard took a long look at Ginny before shaking his head, stunning all three of his visitors. "Occlumancy will not work with Miss Weasley. It protects the mind from the outside. It has no affect on something that is a part of the soul," he said slowly.
It was a long moment before Ginny could speak. "What can I do?" she pleaded, face pale with grief. Was she a menace to the cause? Was she a danger to Harry?
"I will tell you the truth, Miss Weasley; I don't know what to do about this. I had thought..."Dumbledore trailed off, looking grave and unhappy at this turn of events.
Bitterness swelled inside her as she completed his sentence for him. "You thought that stabbing a Basilisk fang into a book was the end of my troubles, just as everyone else did. I never led you to believe otherwise; why should I?" she asked, voice small but steely. Her heart was collapsing. It was the end of her and Harry, she could tell. The one thing she wanted was being snatched away after she had had a taste of it. It was the worst feeling in the world.
Dumbledore looked kindly at her, and the tightness in her chest lessened slightly. "I admit I did think that. I am sorry for what you have suffered over the years, Miss Weasley. My time will be spent thinking of a way to help you, I promise," he said gently.
"What about Harry?" Ginny asked quietly, tears rising into her already burning eyes.
The adults glanced at each other in turn. Lupin sighed silently. "Is she a danger to him?" he said to Dumbledore quietly. Ginny still heard him, but she felt no anger. All she felt was a deepening sense of heartbreak surrounding her.
"I think we should see about Harry, Miss Weasley. I do not like to dictate the lives of my students. It is a decision you must make of your own accord, whether you are a risk to him," Dumbledore told her, smiling slightly. "In the meantime, please come back to my office next Friday. I shall return from the Wizengamot then, and we will discuss your situation in full detail."
"You look tired, Miss Weasley. Please go back to the Tower. You've been here for almost an hour; I'm sure whatever disturbance you caused has died down," McGonagall commented quietly.
Ginny nodded, pushing herself shakily from her chair and nodding to the three professors before leaving the office. It was in the silent hallway by the gargoyle where she finally let her tears win her over. Salt water drew trails on her skin as she made her way slowly down the corridors, leaning against the wall as her despair overwhelmed her, combined with her exhaustion. Life had no meaning as she walked along the icy floor in her bare feet. Deep inside, she knew she could be the cause of something horrible for Harry and the Order. Inside her, she felt him stir, laughing madly at her sorrow.
'Poor Virginia. Nowhere to turn. Nowhere to hide. How can you hide from your own soul?'
A choking sob escaped her throat, and she fell to her knees by the sleeping Fat Lady, thin nightdress pooling around her. Crying brokenly, she buried her face in her shaking hands, rubbing her pounding temples. His voice went around and around in a cruel cycle of pain, filling her with dread and agony. Life wasn't worth living anymore if she wasn't herself! If the gods were merciful, they would kill her now and save the world from its misery.
"Ginny?"
The sleepy, croaking voice startled her. She looked up to see the Portrait Hole wide open, and a pajama-clad Harry Potter standing over her, worry and concern clear in his blurry gaze. Her heart dropped as she struggled to get to her feet, leaning against the wall in her weariness.
Harry stepped towards her, rubbing his eyes roughly and holding back a yawn. "Why are you out here, Ginny? I heard a commotion a while ago, but Hermione said it was nothing." He stopped dead as he got a clear look at her tear-stained face, and his eyes widened with surprise. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked quickly.
Ginny looked up into his bleary gaze, heart pounding. The voices in her head were silenced, and all she felt was him near her, his breath on her salty skin. The realization hit her like a brick; he had no idea what had happened to her tonight.
Her confused thoughts began to organize themselves, opportunities presented before her. What should she do?
Suddenly his fingers were on her elbow, grasping gently. "You look absolutely knackered, Ginny; go to sleep," he said softly, pulling her towards the opening into the common room.
Heart racing, she let herself go.
Flying into his arms, she clung to him, dry sobs heaving from her throat. His muscles tensed under her at the sounds, but relaxed slightly as she tightened her grip on his shoulders. Arms were around her waist, grounding her, and she felt the light wisp of lips on her skin, kissing away the tears that had coursed down the curve of her neck. She let it all out, crying into his form as he kept his arms around her, pulling her into the common room and enveloping her in his warmth.
~*~
For days after her visit to Dumbledore's office, Ginny's roommates avoided her completely, throwing glances at her when they thought she didn't notice. It didn't matter to her; they had never been close friends, merely acquaintances. What irked Ginny was the way they had spread the story of that night of her nightmare like a wildfire throughout the school. Soon the more blatant and cruel of the students, many Slytherins, were mock-sobbing under their breath, screaming nonsense words in high-pitched voices that seemed to magically disappear the second a teacher walked near. These actions were egged on by a sneering Draco Malfoy, who seemed to be everywhere she was. He always had some slander to mutter under his breath as she passed him in the corridors, which wasn't much different than usual; except for the fact he knew what he was saying to her when he said Tom was going to visit her soon.
Students weren't the only ones to keep a wary eye on her as days passed. Professor McGonagall averted her gaze whenever Ginny's class came in, seeming horrified at the thought of a Gryffindor at the mercy of a Slytherin, especially this Slytherin. Professor Lupin kept her behind more than once after the end of his class, asking after Harry in a falsely cheerful voice. She knew he was only trying to find out if she had done something to him under Voldemort's influence. Harry and Lupin now had weekly meetings in his office; there was no need to ask her anything.
One professor whose eyes she could not meet was Snape. The memory of his seeing her right after the nightmare was one that haunted her the moment she set foot in the dungeons. He treated her with the same cool indifference he had given to her before, but there seemed something kinder in his air. Never looking up when he passed by the workstation she shared with Colin, she couldn't be sure of what he thought of her. Suddenly she began to see Snape as a man dealing with his own inner demons, not the vindictive Potions Master Harry seemed to see. She didn't understand Harry's exact reasons for hating the man; he had never shared them with. All she knew was that she felt an abrupt link with the ex-Death Eater, only because she had an idea of what darkness was like.
Harry, who still didn't know what the disturbance was that woke him on the night he found her crying by the Fat Lady, had taken to walking her to her classes, along with Ron and Hermione. Hermione seemed particularly protective of her, sending scathing glares to anyone who dared mention a word about anything to either Ginny or Harry. Ginny hadn't told anyone what had happened to her; she wanted to feel as normal as possible before the predicted stroke on her will fell. Still, she and Harry didn't meet in the Room of Requirement as often as they had been. He thought it was because of O.W.L.S., which were coming in the next two months. She didn't disabuse him of the notion.
News of Dumbledore's visit to the Wizengamot came quickly, publicized widely in The Daily Prophet, to which Harry had ordered a subscription a few weeks back. Fudge was quickly brought to face the same judges Harry had once faced. All but one found him incompetent to stay in office and deposed him and his staff. Dumbledore quickly placed Mad-Eye Moody in as acting Minister and returned to Hogwarts. Malfoy's cocky attitude staggered slightly, even with his father still at large.
Ginny went to Dumbledore's office a few days after his return, and there they spent a good hour discussing all her possible options. Dumbledore was looking up a specific kind of Occlumancy, to see if it would be of any use to her. Although he kept a positive light on the meeting, she left his office feeling sickened with herself. It was time for her to decide what was best for Harry and the Order; she couldn't put it off any longer. Since Tom's reentry into her mind, she had been tricking her mind into shoving him off into a small corner where he could feel nothing, as she could tell by the frustration he tortured her with nightly. But it was only a temporary solution; she needed to leave Harry before something happened to him.
Oh how she hurt when she finally accepted the truth! Harry was what she was living for, what she would die for. How could she just give him up when she loved him?
Yes. She loved him.
And that made her course all the harder.
*
She was bursting with the need to tell someone--anyone--of her plan in the time leading up to her birthday. With each passing day, she felt herself give in slightly to Tom, creeping closer into her conscious mind. Finally, after Professor Lupin had dismissed class the Friday before her birthday, she couldn't bear it any longer. Letting her classmates leave the room, she felt Lupin's eyes on her. She couldn't meet them, not even from a distance; she felt too guilty about her course of action.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm going to break it off with Harry. He'll be safe from me," she said softly, looking down at her feet.
Footsteps drew near her, and she felt a gentle hand on her elbow. "Ginny, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe there is another way-"
She pulled away from him sharply, astounded at her own audacity towards a teacher. Her mother would be horrified if she knew. "I don't want to do this at all, sir, but I have to. I can't be the cause of Harry's defeat. I won't be the signature on his death warrant," she snapped, eyes locked defiantly to his shoulder.
"I don't want him to be hurt, Ginny. You're going to hurt him."
His voice chilled her, but within it she heard a desperate plea from a man who knew all too well what despair could do to a person. Heart clenching painfully, she braved a gaze at her professor. He looked haggard, painfully sad in the late-winter light streaming in from the classroom window. In his eyes was sadness beyond measure. It was a look she knew well; Harry carried it with him behind a mask of green eyes.
Lupin looked at her for a silent moment, silently contemplating her. "You realize you're going to bring him pain, don't you?" he asked quietly.
Trying to stop the tears from welling in her eyes, she nodded slowly. "I know better than anyone how much I'm going to hurt him," she whispered. "But at least he'll be alive."
A low, ironic bark of a laugh escaped Lupin's lips. His mouth curled into a wry, angry smile. "What's the point of living if you don't have love?"
Pain ripped from her as she winced at his words, feeling the full weight of her decision rest on her shoulders as she continued to look Lupin in the eye, mute for many a minute. How could she answer that when she agreed with him fully?
"It came down to a simple choice, sir. I had to either save Harry or save myself. I chose to save Harry," she finally replied, pulling the strap of her bag over her shoulder and turning away.
One foot was out the door when his voice stopped her. "And what's going to happen to you, Ginny?" he asked gently.
She stopped in the doorway, keeping her back to her teacher. Something threatened to spill out of her soul as she contemplated his query, something dark and not her own.
'You are mine now. Isn't that what you want to say, Virginia?'
Shuddering slightly, she shoved his voice from her mind, and took a deep breath. "I need Harry to save myself. Since I can't have him, I suppose I'm lost," she said, voice edged with grief, and walked out the door.
*
The day of her birthday dawned cool and clear, spring already on its way. Ginny woke up with her hand clasped around the ring, which rested on its chain around her neck. Feeling groggier than usual, she sat up slowly, smiling slightly as she experienced sixteen for the first time. Her fifteenth birthday had been a depressing experience, as Michael hadn't gotten her anything and went around skulking and Ron had been too busy with O.W.L.S and Quidditch to remember. Of course, he remembered a month later, but that didn't help her any. Hopefully, this birthday would be a lot happier for her.
Stretching her arms over her head, she thanked Merlin it was a Sunday and noticed that her roommates had already woken up and left the room. That wasn't strange anymore; they had taken to doing that ever since her nightmare two weeks ago. Shrugging, she hopped out of bed and headed for the loo, intent on making this the best birthday she had had in a long time.
Hermione was waiting for her when she came down the stairs to the common room, sitting on a couch and reading. A tray of steaming food sat on the table in front of her, and Ginny's stomach rumbled hungrily. Smiling, Ginny went over to Hermione. "Morning, Hermione," she said cheerfully.
Looking up with a start, Hermione grinned and waved Ginny over. "Happy birthday, Ginny! I brought your breakfast up to you. I hope you don't mind," she said as Ginny sat down next to her.
"Oh, no. This is wonderful! Thank you," Ginny replied as she pulled the tray over and began to eat. Her mood was lifting already! This would be a good day, she could tell.
"How did you sleep?" Hermione asked innocently, turning a page in her book.
Ginny rolled her eyes. She wasn't fooled; Hermione had been keeping close tabs on her sleeping habits for the last few weeks. "Very well, thanks. Where are Ron and Harry?"
Hermione gave a small shrug. "Heavens, off playing Qudditch, maybe. Ron's giving you the day off of practice. He thought that would be a nice gift," she said as Ginny swallowed a gulp of pumpkin juice.
"Oh did he? What did you promise as a bribe, eh?" Ginny teased, nudging her friend slyly.
Blushing lightly, Hermione shot Ginny a glance. "Don't you start; I'd love to know where you disappeared to last night," she shot back, a grin on her face.
Ginny froze, toast halfway to her mouth. "What are you talking about, Hermione?" she asked after a moment, setting her toast down on the plate.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Don't try to fool me. You and Harry seemed to disappear at the same time last night, but he came back first. I remember when Ron and I planned a stagger entrance; we always alternated who would leave first with who would come back first," she mused fondly, a light smile playing on her lips.
Stomach knotting, Ginny racked her brain, shutting her eyes to aid her concentration. What did she do last night? She went to dinner, studied with Colin and Neville, played a game of chess against Ron, and then she and Harry met at the Room of Requirement for a few minutes. He had left her with a kiss, and then...
Her blood iced in her veins and she gasped, hearing Hermione's exclamation of surprise beside her. Why was the rest of the night a blank? She didn't remember going back to the common room or going up to bed; how was this possible? It was almost like...
'Dear Tom, I woke up with feathers in my hair and blood on my robes, and I can't remember what I did last night. It's a blank, and I don't understand. Why can't I remember?'
A sob hitched in her throat; she felt Hermione's hands on her arms, shaking her and speaking frantically. Noticing nothing, Ginny shot up from the couch, plate falling to the floor with a clatter. Her eyes opened with a snap, and she looked around her frantically, afraid to see the blood on her hands.
"Ginny, what's wrong with you? Talk to me!" Hermione exclaimed, looking on the verge of tears.
Her feet flew past the shocked girl, out the common room, through the irate Fat Lady. She was a blur of red and black, unrecognizable to anyone. Past caring, she skidded down corridors, knocking past bewildered students and careening around corners. She had no idea where her feet were taking her until she raced through the doors in the Entrance Hall and found herself in the brisk early-spring air, sun shining mockingly down on her. Heart hammering at the speed of light, she went down the steps, trekking across the grounds with her arms wrapped around herself tightly.
In the near distance she could see figures swooping through the air on their brooms, but she didn't go towards the pitch, knowing she would see Harry and Tom would make a frantic scramble for control over her. The wind whipped around her as she headed towards the lake, eyes unwillingly filled with tears. What had she done last night? Scrounging her memory, she came up with a blank. The last thing she remembered was Harry's goodnight kiss--- she tried not to linger on that thought before the urge to see him overwhelmed her---and then waking up this morning. There was nothing in- between.
"Ginny!"
Hermione's frantic cry shook her from her thoughts, and she started off across the grounds at a sprint, headed for the Forbidden Forest's edge. There, in the shadows of the trees, she could hide from her inquisitive friend.
Would there ever come a time when she wouldn't have to hide?
The ring around her neck seemed to burn into her skin, constantly reminding her of Harry as she watched Hermione fight the rising wind to go over to the pitch, waving her arms at the flyers. Ginny rested against a tree trunk, blood thudding in her veins as she saw two brooms zoom to the ground, jerk in shock, and zoom away from the pitch in opposite directions. Shivering, she hugged herself tighter. They wouldn't look for her here. She needed some time to think of what she would say to Harry. It was time.
"Hiding, Weasley?"
Stiffening at the sound of Malfoy's voice, she looked to her side and saw him standing near her, a thin smirk on his pasty face. She drew herself up, meeting his gaze defiantly. "Sod off."
His smirk widened, and he stepped closer to her. "You always did have spirit. What happens when you run out of places to hide?"
She shut her eyes, trying to block out his words. Tom hovered around her, brushing against the edges of her mind like a caress.
"You can't hide from your own mind, Weasley."
His breath was on her neck, but she was numb to his body heat. A hand rested on her elbow. Disgust filled her, but she paid it no mind, staying as inflexible as steel.
"You haven't moved away from me; maybe Potter isn't enough for your needs, eh? Sluts are hungry bitches, or so I've heard," he said thoughtfully, moving his hand down to her hip.
Everything in her was revolted at his actions, making her feel sick to her stomach. When she tried to pull away, his hands were pushing her back against the tree, rendering her immobile. Her eyes snapped open, meeting his cool grey gaze. "Let me go," she whispered, voice soft and deadly.
Blonde hair fell into his eyes. "It would be the perfect revenge against your family; the only daughter taken by a Malfoy. And right under Potter's nose!" he crowed, laughing demonically.
She shoved him away from her, causing him to fall to the dirt below. Sputtering angrily, he pulled himself up, brushing himself off with curses. And that's when she saw the black brand on his forearm. The skull she knew very well.
Surprise jolted through her. "Get the hell away from me, Malfoy! I don't play with Death Eaters," she spat, backing away from him.
Eyes widening in shock, he looked from her to his arm and back again. Anger flooded his face. "Well, you played with the strongest one of all, didn't you?" he roared. "Don't think he won't use you! What did you do last night, Weasley? Can't you remember?"
"Sod off, Malfoy."
Harry's voice came from a few feet away, and Ginny looked up at him quickly. He was sweaty and dirty from practice, anger radiating from every limb. In his left hand was his precious Firebolt; in his right was his wand.
Malfoy sneered at Harry before turning on his heel and walking back towards the castle. Ginny relaxed with the relief of seeing his retreating back, feeling Harry take her elbow as he slipped his wand into his pocket. "What did he mean, Ginny?" he asked roughly.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled away from him gently and met his fierce gaze. "He's a Death Eater," she said quietly.
His gaze widened, and a sudden flood of realization flew across his face. She waited for him to reply, memorizing his features; she wouldn't have the chance to do this for a long time, if she was straight upon her course.
Abruptly, he smiled down at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'll deal with him. Happy birthday, love. Hermione came out here going on about how you ran out on her or something. What's that about?" he asked.
Shaking her head, she smiled thinly. "Nothing. Everything's fine, Harry."
Studying her for a moment, he seemed to accept her answer. He glanced around quickly and leaned down to kiss her quickly. "Meet me outside the Portrait Hole at around eight, ok? I have to give you your present," he said with a mysterious smile as the calls of Ron and Hermione became clearer.
She nodded, smiling weakly. He grinned widely and turned away from her, calling out to his two friends. The weight of the ring on her skin tripled.
There was nowhere to hide.
~*~
The Marauders' Map was in his pocket; the Invisibility Cloak was in his schoolbag along with his wand. Harry was ready for Ginny as he paced the corridor leading up to the Fat Lady, who was watching him keenly. He didn't notice her glances as he waited for eight o'clock to come. Having never had a girlfriend to get a gift for, Harry had figured the perfect solution would be to take her to Hogsmeade, so she could pick her own gift. The secret Honeydukes passage was still open; all he had to do was get her back before curfew.
Now that he thought about it, Ginny had been acting strangely for the last few weeks, ever since he had found her crying. She had been cutting their time together, pulling away from him. Her skin looked gaunt and pale, and the circles under her eyes grew darker with each passing night. And then the incident with Malfoy today; his words haunted Harry as he went through the day.
'You played with the strongest one of all... Don't think he won't use you...'
Apprehension for Ginny had been his constant companion, holding all other emotions in check. He didn't want to think of what Malfoy had meant by those words; Malfoy, the youngest Death Eater he had ever seen. He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to remember his vision from December. Voldemort was moving quickly to gather his forces. Harry had no idea what he was planning.
"Hello, Harry."
Ginny stood by the Portrait Hole, looking pale in the flickering torchlight. Her smile was weak, her face was wan. Harry pushed his suspicions out of his mind and walked over to her, smiling. "Evening, Ginny. Ready to go?" he asked, taking her hand and pulling her along the corridor.
"I suppose so, but I need to talk to you, Harry," she said softly.
Her mood was sullen, sorrowful; Harry didn't know how to react to her, so he just kept walking, always keeping an eye out for a professor or Filch. "We can talk later. I want to get your gift," he replied, pulling out the Mauraders' Map and looking at it.
Walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry kept a grip on her limp hand. His heart was pounding painfully; what was wrong with her?
Finally he came to a halt at the statue of the one-eyed witch and pulled out his wand. Ginny stood next to him, a small bit of curiosity darting across her face. "What is this?" she asked.
He shot a grin at her. "A secret passage to Hogsmeade. Your brothers showed it to me." He tapped the statue. "Dissendium."
The hump of the statue opened, and he faced her with a gentle smile. "I thought you might like a private trip to Hogsmeade."
To his surprise, pain laced her gaze, and she turned away from him. "Harry, I need to talk to you now."
Her voice was low, startling him. "All right," he said quietly, a suspicious sense of doom filling him.
Licking her lips, she took a deep breath and met his gaze. There was no feeling in her eyes. "I can't do this anymore, Harry. I can't hide. I think we should take a break from each other, before someone gets hurt."
Bowled over, shock filled him as her words sank in. "What?"
Now she looked away, dark eyes bright with tears. "This was a dream, Harry. It's too hard to keep this from everyone, and... I can't love someone who doesn't love me back," she whispered.
It was like someone had ripped his heart out and sliced it to shreds in front of him. Fumbling for words, he tried to take her hand. "Gin, don't do this. You don't---"
She backed away from him a few steps, hugging herself as if she was in pain. "No, Harry. You don't love me. I know you don't. Can you say you love me? Can you?" she asked tearfully, voice rising.
No. No, he couldn't. He didn't know what he felt. All he knew is that if he didn't have her, he wasn't going to survive any fight. If she wasn't supporting him, caring about him, he wouldn't defeat anything, much less a Dark Lord. There wasn't anything worth living for if he didn't have her. She had become that important to him in the past few months, and it scared him to the core.
Something inside him was screaming at him to tell her that, but he couldn't find the words. Expressing grief was much easier than expressing need or care. What did he know about love anyway?
"You can't tell me you love me. It's better this way for both of us. I'm... I'm a distraction anyway," she muttered, not meeting his eyes.
Silently, he watched her, becoming detached from his self to avoid the pain and gaping hole she was causing within him. Ginny shook her head and pulled something from her neck, eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry, Harry. Goodbye," she whispered, dropping a chain by his feet and walking away from him.
Reeling, he sat down on the cold stone floor, the one-eyed witch still open and waiting. He didn't bother to close it. All of him ached; he reached over and picked up the chain, seeing the ring dangle from the end. Shutting his eyes, he clenched his fist around it, struggling to block out the agony that threatened to overwhelm him.
He had nowhere to turn.
~*~
'The wonder of hidden passages, Virginia. You shouldn't have let him show you it; now we know. His demise is imminent. You've fulfilled your purpose, Virginia. I am very proud.'
She sobbed brokenly, numbness spreading through her body as his voice rang in her ears. Was she asleep? She didn't know the difference these days. Her torment during the day was to see Harry, the cold, impassive mask from the summer back in place. At night, she had Tom to torture her.
'Do you want to know what you did that night? The night you can't remember?'
She wanted desperately to remember, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that. Besides, he would tell her anyway; he liked to see her cry for Harry.
'You'll be pleased, I think. Harry will hate you even more for it.'
Agony overwhelmed her. Gasping, she felt stabbing pains in her veins, wracking her head with throbbing ache. She felt like she was going to die.
'You wrote down all the passwords to Gryffindor Tower and gave them to Draco Malfoy.'
Merlin, make it stop. This was worse than dying. Strangely, even though she had never been the subject of it, she thought it felt like the Cruciatus Curse.
'You're correct, Virginia. This is the Cruciatus Curse. But you're not the recipient of it.'
Screams of terror pulled her from Tom's grasp, and she was awakened with her own cries of pain. Tumbling from her bed, she hit the floor with a rough thud. The tower was in uproar; she could hear Hermione sobbing from all the way in the common room. Fear seized her, and she struggled to calm herself. What was going on? Had something happened to Ron?
'You wrote down all the passwords to Gryffindor Tower and gave them to Draco Malfoy.'
"Ginny!"
Ron's stricken voice pulled her from her stupor, and she looked up. He was standing in her doorway, still in his pajamas. Eyes bloodshot and face pale, he went over to her. As he reached down to help her to her feet, she felt him shaking like mad.
She gripped his forearms. "What's happened, Ron?" she asked thinly.
Ron shook his head, clenching his fists. "I don't know how they got in, but a couple of Death Eaters just tried to kidnap Harry in his bed," he replied hoarsely.
Oh dear Merlin.
Ginny began to shake uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands. Ron shifted in front of her, clearly distressed. "It would have worked if his scar hadn't woken him up before they cast the Silencing Charm. When he woke up, they began to torture him with the Cruciatus. That's when we all woke and jumped them. He's in the Hospital Wing now, and McGonagall wants everyone in the common room. She let me up here to get you," he explained quietly, voice stretched with stress.
The aches in her body weren't subsiding; they were intensifying, causing her to want to pull her skin off with the pain. Finally she knew what the cause of her agony was: Harry's own torment.
"Ginny, are you coming? Please stop crying; you aren't going to help Harry if your in a state like this," Rom pleaded.
She raised her eyes to her wan brother, a sense of despair and numbness filling her. "I can't help him anyway."
~*~
A/N: Hmmm. All thanks to Anne the Creator, also know as Anne the Beta.
*waits for the flames*
The three professors looked from one another before Dumbledore spoke. "So Tom is able to read your mind?" he asked softly.
Ginny nodded. "It's not just the memory of Tom, either. It really is him, in his present form," she added as an afterthought.
At this, Lupin looked up suddenly, eyes wide. "This is the real Voldemort? Not just a memory?"
"Voldemort knows about Harry's Occlumancy?" McGonagall whispered.
Dumbledore seemed to sag, and Ginny's heart fell to her feet. "Well, now he knows why he hasn't been able to glean any information from his link with Harry. The question is, does he know anything else?" he asked, eyes meeting Ginny's.
Shaking her head rapidly, Ginny sought to placate her teachers. "No, I don't know anything else, honestly! I made Harry tell me about his Occlumancy lessons because I was angry. My brothers don't tell me anything about their work, either."
And she had never been so glad of it before.
The headmaster nodded, and silence fell over the office. Portraits were quietly murmuring to each other on the walls, and Ginny had never felt so scrutinized or judged in her life. Her head was pounding, her eyes were rough with the remains of her tears, and she was dead tired. Only the prevalent fear of dreams kept her from nodding off right in her chair.
Finally, Lupin spoke up. "Should she have Occlumancy lessons, then?" he asked Dumbledore.
The old wizard took a long look at Ginny before shaking his head, stunning all three of his visitors. "Occlumancy will not work with Miss Weasley. It protects the mind from the outside. It has no affect on something that is a part of the soul," he said slowly.
It was a long moment before Ginny could speak. "What can I do?" she pleaded, face pale with grief. Was she a menace to the cause? Was she a danger to Harry?
"I will tell you the truth, Miss Weasley; I don't know what to do about this. I had thought..."Dumbledore trailed off, looking grave and unhappy at this turn of events.
Bitterness swelled inside her as she completed his sentence for him. "You thought that stabbing a Basilisk fang into a book was the end of my troubles, just as everyone else did. I never led you to believe otherwise; why should I?" she asked, voice small but steely. Her heart was collapsing. It was the end of her and Harry, she could tell. The one thing she wanted was being snatched away after she had had a taste of it. It was the worst feeling in the world.
Dumbledore looked kindly at her, and the tightness in her chest lessened slightly. "I admit I did think that. I am sorry for what you have suffered over the years, Miss Weasley. My time will be spent thinking of a way to help you, I promise," he said gently.
"What about Harry?" Ginny asked quietly, tears rising into her already burning eyes.
The adults glanced at each other in turn. Lupin sighed silently. "Is she a danger to him?" he said to Dumbledore quietly. Ginny still heard him, but she felt no anger. All she felt was a deepening sense of heartbreak surrounding her.
"I think we should see about Harry, Miss Weasley. I do not like to dictate the lives of my students. It is a decision you must make of your own accord, whether you are a risk to him," Dumbledore told her, smiling slightly. "In the meantime, please come back to my office next Friday. I shall return from the Wizengamot then, and we will discuss your situation in full detail."
"You look tired, Miss Weasley. Please go back to the Tower. You've been here for almost an hour; I'm sure whatever disturbance you caused has died down," McGonagall commented quietly.
Ginny nodded, pushing herself shakily from her chair and nodding to the three professors before leaving the office. It was in the silent hallway by the gargoyle where she finally let her tears win her over. Salt water drew trails on her skin as she made her way slowly down the corridors, leaning against the wall as her despair overwhelmed her, combined with her exhaustion. Life had no meaning as she walked along the icy floor in her bare feet. Deep inside, she knew she could be the cause of something horrible for Harry and the Order. Inside her, she felt him stir, laughing madly at her sorrow.
'Poor Virginia. Nowhere to turn. Nowhere to hide. How can you hide from your own soul?'
A choking sob escaped her throat, and she fell to her knees by the sleeping Fat Lady, thin nightdress pooling around her. Crying brokenly, she buried her face in her shaking hands, rubbing her pounding temples. His voice went around and around in a cruel cycle of pain, filling her with dread and agony. Life wasn't worth living anymore if she wasn't herself! If the gods were merciful, they would kill her now and save the world from its misery.
"Ginny?"
The sleepy, croaking voice startled her. She looked up to see the Portrait Hole wide open, and a pajama-clad Harry Potter standing over her, worry and concern clear in his blurry gaze. Her heart dropped as she struggled to get to her feet, leaning against the wall in her weariness.
Harry stepped towards her, rubbing his eyes roughly and holding back a yawn. "Why are you out here, Ginny? I heard a commotion a while ago, but Hermione said it was nothing." He stopped dead as he got a clear look at her tear-stained face, and his eyes widened with surprise. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked quickly.
Ginny looked up into his bleary gaze, heart pounding. The voices in her head were silenced, and all she felt was him near her, his breath on her salty skin. The realization hit her like a brick; he had no idea what had happened to her tonight.
Her confused thoughts began to organize themselves, opportunities presented before her. What should she do?
Suddenly his fingers were on her elbow, grasping gently. "You look absolutely knackered, Ginny; go to sleep," he said softly, pulling her towards the opening into the common room.
Heart racing, she let herself go.
Flying into his arms, she clung to him, dry sobs heaving from her throat. His muscles tensed under her at the sounds, but relaxed slightly as she tightened her grip on his shoulders. Arms were around her waist, grounding her, and she felt the light wisp of lips on her skin, kissing away the tears that had coursed down the curve of her neck. She let it all out, crying into his form as he kept his arms around her, pulling her into the common room and enveloping her in his warmth.
~*~
For days after her visit to Dumbledore's office, Ginny's roommates avoided her completely, throwing glances at her when they thought she didn't notice. It didn't matter to her; they had never been close friends, merely acquaintances. What irked Ginny was the way they had spread the story of that night of her nightmare like a wildfire throughout the school. Soon the more blatant and cruel of the students, many Slytherins, were mock-sobbing under their breath, screaming nonsense words in high-pitched voices that seemed to magically disappear the second a teacher walked near. These actions were egged on by a sneering Draco Malfoy, who seemed to be everywhere she was. He always had some slander to mutter under his breath as she passed him in the corridors, which wasn't much different than usual; except for the fact he knew what he was saying to her when he said Tom was going to visit her soon.
Students weren't the only ones to keep a wary eye on her as days passed. Professor McGonagall averted her gaze whenever Ginny's class came in, seeming horrified at the thought of a Gryffindor at the mercy of a Slytherin, especially this Slytherin. Professor Lupin kept her behind more than once after the end of his class, asking after Harry in a falsely cheerful voice. She knew he was only trying to find out if she had done something to him under Voldemort's influence. Harry and Lupin now had weekly meetings in his office; there was no need to ask her anything.
One professor whose eyes she could not meet was Snape. The memory of his seeing her right after the nightmare was one that haunted her the moment she set foot in the dungeons. He treated her with the same cool indifference he had given to her before, but there seemed something kinder in his air. Never looking up when he passed by the workstation she shared with Colin, she couldn't be sure of what he thought of her. Suddenly she began to see Snape as a man dealing with his own inner demons, not the vindictive Potions Master Harry seemed to see. She didn't understand Harry's exact reasons for hating the man; he had never shared them with. All she knew was that she felt an abrupt link with the ex-Death Eater, only because she had an idea of what darkness was like.
Harry, who still didn't know what the disturbance was that woke him on the night he found her crying by the Fat Lady, had taken to walking her to her classes, along with Ron and Hermione. Hermione seemed particularly protective of her, sending scathing glares to anyone who dared mention a word about anything to either Ginny or Harry. Ginny hadn't told anyone what had happened to her; she wanted to feel as normal as possible before the predicted stroke on her will fell. Still, she and Harry didn't meet in the Room of Requirement as often as they had been. He thought it was because of O.W.L.S., which were coming in the next two months. She didn't disabuse him of the notion.
News of Dumbledore's visit to the Wizengamot came quickly, publicized widely in The Daily Prophet, to which Harry had ordered a subscription a few weeks back. Fudge was quickly brought to face the same judges Harry had once faced. All but one found him incompetent to stay in office and deposed him and his staff. Dumbledore quickly placed Mad-Eye Moody in as acting Minister and returned to Hogwarts. Malfoy's cocky attitude staggered slightly, even with his father still at large.
Ginny went to Dumbledore's office a few days after his return, and there they spent a good hour discussing all her possible options. Dumbledore was looking up a specific kind of Occlumancy, to see if it would be of any use to her. Although he kept a positive light on the meeting, she left his office feeling sickened with herself. It was time for her to decide what was best for Harry and the Order; she couldn't put it off any longer. Since Tom's reentry into her mind, she had been tricking her mind into shoving him off into a small corner where he could feel nothing, as she could tell by the frustration he tortured her with nightly. But it was only a temporary solution; she needed to leave Harry before something happened to him.
Oh how she hurt when she finally accepted the truth! Harry was what she was living for, what she would die for. How could she just give him up when she loved him?
Yes. She loved him.
And that made her course all the harder.
*
She was bursting with the need to tell someone--anyone--of her plan in the time leading up to her birthday. With each passing day, she felt herself give in slightly to Tom, creeping closer into her conscious mind. Finally, after Professor Lupin had dismissed class the Friday before her birthday, she couldn't bear it any longer. Letting her classmates leave the room, she felt Lupin's eyes on her. She couldn't meet them, not even from a distance; she felt too guilty about her course of action.
"I just wanted you to know that I'm going to break it off with Harry. He'll be safe from me," she said softly, looking down at her feet.
Footsteps drew near her, and she felt a gentle hand on her elbow. "Ginny, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe there is another way-"
She pulled away from him sharply, astounded at her own audacity towards a teacher. Her mother would be horrified if she knew. "I don't want to do this at all, sir, but I have to. I can't be the cause of Harry's defeat. I won't be the signature on his death warrant," she snapped, eyes locked defiantly to his shoulder.
"I don't want him to be hurt, Ginny. You're going to hurt him."
His voice chilled her, but within it she heard a desperate plea from a man who knew all too well what despair could do to a person. Heart clenching painfully, she braved a gaze at her professor. He looked haggard, painfully sad in the late-winter light streaming in from the classroom window. In his eyes was sadness beyond measure. It was a look she knew well; Harry carried it with him behind a mask of green eyes.
Lupin looked at her for a silent moment, silently contemplating her. "You realize you're going to bring him pain, don't you?" he asked quietly.
Trying to stop the tears from welling in her eyes, she nodded slowly. "I know better than anyone how much I'm going to hurt him," she whispered. "But at least he'll be alive."
A low, ironic bark of a laugh escaped Lupin's lips. His mouth curled into a wry, angry smile. "What's the point of living if you don't have love?"
Pain ripped from her as she winced at his words, feeling the full weight of her decision rest on her shoulders as she continued to look Lupin in the eye, mute for many a minute. How could she answer that when she agreed with him fully?
"It came down to a simple choice, sir. I had to either save Harry or save myself. I chose to save Harry," she finally replied, pulling the strap of her bag over her shoulder and turning away.
One foot was out the door when his voice stopped her. "And what's going to happen to you, Ginny?" he asked gently.
She stopped in the doorway, keeping her back to her teacher. Something threatened to spill out of her soul as she contemplated his query, something dark and not her own.
'You are mine now. Isn't that what you want to say, Virginia?'
Shuddering slightly, she shoved his voice from her mind, and took a deep breath. "I need Harry to save myself. Since I can't have him, I suppose I'm lost," she said, voice edged with grief, and walked out the door.
*
The day of her birthday dawned cool and clear, spring already on its way. Ginny woke up with her hand clasped around the ring, which rested on its chain around her neck. Feeling groggier than usual, she sat up slowly, smiling slightly as she experienced sixteen for the first time. Her fifteenth birthday had been a depressing experience, as Michael hadn't gotten her anything and went around skulking and Ron had been too busy with O.W.L.S and Quidditch to remember. Of course, he remembered a month later, but that didn't help her any. Hopefully, this birthday would be a lot happier for her.
Stretching her arms over her head, she thanked Merlin it was a Sunday and noticed that her roommates had already woken up and left the room. That wasn't strange anymore; they had taken to doing that ever since her nightmare two weeks ago. Shrugging, she hopped out of bed and headed for the loo, intent on making this the best birthday she had had in a long time.
Hermione was waiting for her when she came down the stairs to the common room, sitting on a couch and reading. A tray of steaming food sat on the table in front of her, and Ginny's stomach rumbled hungrily. Smiling, Ginny went over to Hermione. "Morning, Hermione," she said cheerfully.
Looking up with a start, Hermione grinned and waved Ginny over. "Happy birthday, Ginny! I brought your breakfast up to you. I hope you don't mind," she said as Ginny sat down next to her.
"Oh, no. This is wonderful! Thank you," Ginny replied as she pulled the tray over and began to eat. Her mood was lifting already! This would be a good day, she could tell.
"How did you sleep?" Hermione asked innocently, turning a page in her book.
Ginny rolled her eyes. She wasn't fooled; Hermione had been keeping close tabs on her sleeping habits for the last few weeks. "Very well, thanks. Where are Ron and Harry?"
Hermione gave a small shrug. "Heavens, off playing Qudditch, maybe. Ron's giving you the day off of practice. He thought that would be a nice gift," she said as Ginny swallowed a gulp of pumpkin juice.
"Oh did he? What did you promise as a bribe, eh?" Ginny teased, nudging her friend slyly.
Blushing lightly, Hermione shot Ginny a glance. "Don't you start; I'd love to know where you disappeared to last night," she shot back, a grin on her face.
Ginny froze, toast halfway to her mouth. "What are you talking about, Hermione?" she asked after a moment, setting her toast down on the plate.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Don't try to fool me. You and Harry seemed to disappear at the same time last night, but he came back first. I remember when Ron and I planned a stagger entrance; we always alternated who would leave first with who would come back first," she mused fondly, a light smile playing on her lips.
Stomach knotting, Ginny racked her brain, shutting her eyes to aid her concentration. What did she do last night? She went to dinner, studied with Colin and Neville, played a game of chess against Ron, and then she and Harry met at the Room of Requirement for a few minutes. He had left her with a kiss, and then...
Her blood iced in her veins and she gasped, hearing Hermione's exclamation of surprise beside her. Why was the rest of the night a blank? She didn't remember going back to the common room or going up to bed; how was this possible? It was almost like...
'Dear Tom, I woke up with feathers in my hair and blood on my robes, and I can't remember what I did last night. It's a blank, and I don't understand. Why can't I remember?'
A sob hitched in her throat; she felt Hermione's hands on her arms, shaking her and speaking frantically. Noticing nothing, Ginny shot up from the couch, plate falling to the floor with a clatter. Her eyes opened with a snap, and she looked around her frantically, afraid to see the blood on her hands.
"Ginny, what's wrong with you? Talk to me!" Hermione exclaimed, looking on the verge of tears.
Her feet flew past the shocked girl, out the common room, through the irate Fat Lady. She was a blur of red and black, unrecognizable to anyone. Past caring, she skidded down corridors, knocking past bewildered students and careening around corners. She had no idea where her feet were taking her until she raced through the doors in the Entrance Hall and found herself in the brisk early-spring air, sun shining mockingly down on her. Heart hammering at the speed of light, she went down the steps, trekking across the grounds with her arms wrapped around herself tightly.
In the near distance she could see figures swooping through the air on their brooms, but she didn't go towards the pitch, knowing she would see Harry and Tom would make a frantic scramble for control over her. The wind whipped around her as she headed towards the lake, eyes unwillingly filled with tears. What had she done last night? Scrounging her memory, she came up with a blank. The last thing she remembered was Harry's goodnight kiss--- she tried not to linger on that thought before the urge to see him overwhelmed her---and then waking up this morning. There was nothing in- between.
"Ginny!"
Hermione's frantic cry shook her from her thoughts, and she started off across the grounds at a sprint, headed for the Forbidden Forest's edge. There, in the shadows of the trees, she could hide from her inquisitive friend.
Would there ever come a time when she wouldn't have to hide?
The ring around her neck seemed to burn into her skin, constantly reminding her of Harry as she watched Hermione fight the rising wind to go over to the pitch, waving her arms at the flyers. Ginny rested against a tree trunk, blood thudding in her veins as she saw two brooms zoom to the ground, jerk in shock, and zoom away from the pitch in opposite directions. Shivering, she hugged herself tighter. They wouldn't look for her here. She needed some time to think of what she would say to Harry. It was time.
"Hiding, Weasley?"
Stiffening at the sound of Malfoy's voice, she looked to her side and saw him standing near her, a thin smirk on his pasty face. She drew herself up, meeting his gaze defiantly. "Sod off."
His smirk widened, and he stepped closer to her. "You always did have spirit. What happens when you run out of places to hide?"
She shut her eyes, trying to block out his words. Tom hovered around her, brushing against the edges of her mind like a caress.
"You can't hide from your own mind, Weasley."
His breath was on her neck, but she was numb to his body heat. A hand rested on her elbow. Disgust filled her, but she paid it no mind, staying as inflexible as steel.
"You haven't moved away from me; maybe Potter isn't enough for your needs, eh? Sluts are hungry bitches, or so I've heard," he said thoughtfully, moving his hand down to her hip.
Everything in her was revolted at his actions, making her feel sick to her stomach. When she tried to pull away, his hands were pushing her back against the tree, rendering her immobile. Her eyes snapped open, meeting his cool grey gaze. "Let me go," she whispered, voice soft and deadly.
Blonde hair fell into his eyes. "It would be the perfect revenge against your family; the only daughter taken by a Malfoy. And right under Potter's nose!" he crowed, laughing demonically.
She shoved him away from her, causing him to fall to the dirt below. Sputtering angrily, he pulled himself up, brushing himself off with curses. And that's when she saw the black brand on his forearm. The skull she knew very well.
Surprise jolted through her. "Get the hell away from me, Malfoy! I don't play with Death Eaters," she spat, backing away from him.
Eyes widening in shock, he looked from her to his arm and back again. Anger flooded his face. "Well, you played with the strongest one of all, didn't you?" he roared. "Don't think he won't use you! What did you do last night, Weasley? Can't you remember?"
"Sod off, Malfoy."
Harry's voice came from a few feet away, and Ginny looked up at him quickly. He was sweaty and dirty from practice, anger radiating from every limb. In his left hand was his precious Firebolt; in his right was his wand.
Malfoy sneered at Harry before turning on his heel and walking back towards the castle. Ginny relaxed with the relief of seeing his retreating back, feeling Harry take her elbow as he slipped his wand into his pocket. "What did he mean, Ginny?" he asked roughly.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled away from him gently and met his fierce gaze. "He's a Death Eater," she said quietly.
His gaze widened, and a sudden flood of realization flew across his face. She waited for him to reply, memorizing his features; she wouldn't have the chance to do this for a long time, if she was straight upon her course.
Abruptly, he smiled down at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'll deal with him. Happy birthday, love. Hermione came out here going on about how you ran out on her or something. What's that about?" he asked.
Shaking her head, she smiled thinly. "Nothing. Everything's fine, Harry."
Studying her for a moment, he seemed to accept her answer. He glanced around quickly and leaned down to kiss her quickly. "Meet me outside the Portrait Hole at around eight, ok? I have to give you your present," he said with a mysterious smile as the calls of Ron and Hermione became clearer.
She nodded, smiling weakly. He grinned widely and turned away from her, calling out to his two friends. The weight of the ring on her skin tripled.
There was nowhere to hide.
~*~
The Marauders' Map was in his pocket; the Invisibility Cloak was in his schoolbag along with his wand. Harry was ready for Ginny as he paced the corridor leading up to the Fat Lady, who was watching him keenly. He didn't notice her glances as he waited for eight o'clock to come. Having never had a girlfriend to get a gift for, Harry had figured the perfect solution would be to take her to Hogsmeade, so she could pick her own gift. The secret Honeydukes passage was still open; all he had to do was get her back before curfew.
Now that he thought about it, Ginny had been acting strangely for the last few weeks, ever since he had found her crying. She had been cutting their time together, pulling away from him. Her skin looked gaunt and pale, and the circles under her eyes grew darker with each passing night. And then the incident with Malfoy today; his words haunted Harry as he went through the day.
'You played with the strongest one of all... Don't think he won't use you...'
Apprehension for Ginny had been his constant companion, holding all other emotions in check. He didn't want to think of what Malfoy had meant by those words; Malfoy, the youngest Death Eater he had ever seen. He couldn't believe it had taken him this long to remember his vision from December. Voldemort was moving quickly to gather his forces. Harry had no idea what he was planning.
"Hello, Harry."
Ginny stood by the Portrait Hole, looking pale in the flickering torchlight. Her smile was weak, her face was wan. Harry pushed his suspicions out of his mind and walked over to her, smiling. "Evening, Ginny. Ready to go?" he asked, taking her hand and pulling her along the corridor.
"I suppose so, but I need to talk to you, Harry," she said softly.
Her mood was sullen, sorrowful; Harry didn't know how to react to her, so he just kept walking, always keeping an eye out for a professor or Filch. "We can talk later. I want to get your gift," he replied, pulling out the Mauraders' Map and looking at it.
Walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry kept a grip on her limp hand. His heart was pounding painfully; what was wrong with her?
Finally he came to a halt at the statue of the one-eyed witch and pulled out his wand. Ginny stood next to him, a small bit of curiosity darting across her face. "What is this?" she asked.
He shot a grin at her. "A secret passage to Hogsmeade. Your brothers showed it to me." He tapped the statue. "Dissendium."
The hump of the statue opened, and he faced her with a gentle smile. "I thought you might like a private trip to Hogsmeade."
To his surprise, pain laced her gaze, and she turned away from him. "Harry, I need to talk to you now."
Her voice was low, startling him. "All right," he said quietly, a suspicious sense of doom filling him.
Licking her lips, she took a deep breath and met his gaze. There was no feeling in her eyes. "I can't do this anymore, Harry. I can't hide. I think we should take a break from each other, before someone gets hurt."
Bowled over, shock filled him as her words sank in. "What?"
Now she looked away, dark eyes bright with tears. "This was a dream, Harry. It's too hard to keep this from everyone, and... I can't love someone who doesn't love me back," she whispered.
It was like someone had ripped his heart out and sliced it to shreds in front of him. Fumbling for words, he tried to take her hand. "Gin, don't do this. You don't---"
She backed away from him a few steps, hugging herself as if she was in pain. "No, Harry. You don't love me. I know you don't. Can you say you love me? Can you?" she asked tearfully, voice rising.
No. No, he couldn't. He didn't know what he felt. All he knew is that if he didn't have her, he wasn't going to survive any fight. If she wasn't supporting him, caring about him, he wouldn't defeat anything, much less a Dark Lord. There wasn't anything worth living for if he didn't have her. She had become that important to him in the past few months, and it scared him to the core.
Something inside him was screaming at him to tell her that, but he couldn't find the words. Expressing grief was much easier than expressing need or care. What did he know about love anyway?
"You can't tell me you love me. It's better this way for both of us. I'm... I'm a distraction anyway," she muttered, not meeting his eyes.
Silently, he watched her, becoming detached from his self to avoid the pain and gaping hole she was causing within him. Ginny shook her head and pulled something from her neck, eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry, Harry. Goodbye," she whispered, dropping a chain by his feet and walking away from him.
Reeling, he sat down on the cold stone floor, the one-eyed witch still open and waiting. He didn't bother to close it. All of him ached; he reached over and picked up the chain, seeing the ring dangle from the end. Shutting his eyes, he clenched his fist around it, struggling to block out the agony that threatened to overwhelm him.
He had nowhere to turn.
~*~
'The wonder of hidden passages, Virginia. You shouldn't have let him show you it; now we know. His demise is imminent. You've fulfilled your purpose, Virginia. I am very proud.'
She sobbed brokenly, numbness spreading through her body as his voice rang in her ears. Was she asleep? She didn't know the difference these days. Her torment during the day was to see Harry, the cold, impassive mask from the summer back in place. At night, she had Tom to torture her.
'Do you want to know what you did that night? The night you can't remember?'
She wanted desperately to remember, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that. Besides, he would tell her anyway; he liked to see her cry for Harry.
'You'll be pleased, I think. Harry will hate you even more for it.'
Agony overwhelmed her. Gasping, she felt stabbing pains in her veins, wracking her head with throbbing ache. She felt like she was going to die.
'You wrote down all the passwords to Gryffindor Tower and gave them to Draco Malfoy.'
Merlin, make it stop. This was worse than dying. Strangely, even though she had never been the subject of it, she thought it felt like the Cruciatus Curse.
'You're correct, Virginia. This is the Cruciatus Curse. But you're not the recipient of it.'
Screams of terror pulled her from Tom's grasp, and she was awakened with her own cries of pain. Tumbling from her bed, she hit the floor with a rough thud. The tower was in uproar; she could hear Hermione sobbing from all the way in the common room. Fear seized her, and she struggled to calm herself. What was going on? Had something happened to Ron?
'You wrote down all the passwords to Gryffindor Tower and gave them to Draco Malfoy.'
"Ginny!"
Ron's stricken voice pulled her from her stupor, and she looked up. He was standing in her doorway, still in his pajamas. Eyes bloodshot and face pale, he went over to her. As he reached down to help her to her feet, she felt him shaking like mad.
She gripped his forearms. "What's happened, Ron?" she asked thinly.
Ron shook his head, clenching his fists. "I don't know how they got in, but a couple of Death Eaters just tried to kidnap Harry in his bed," he replied hoarsely.
Oh dear Merlin.
Ginny began to shake uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands. Ron shifted in front of her, clearly distressed. "It would have worked if his scar hadn't woken him up before they cast the Silencing Charm. When he woke up, they began to torture him with the Cruciatus. That's when we all woke and jumped them. He's in the Hospital Wing now, and McGonagall wants everyone in the common room. She let me up here to get you," he explained quietly, voice stretched with stress.
The aches in her body weren't subsiding; they were intensifying, causing her to want to pull her skin off with the pain. Finally she knew what the cause of her agony was: Harry's own torment.
"Ginny, are you coming? Please stop crying; you aren't going to help Harry if your in a state like this," Rom pleaded.
She raised her eyes to her wan brother, a sense of despair and numbness filling her. "I can't help him anyway."
~*~
A/N: Hmmm. All thanks to Anne the Creator, also know as Anne the Beta.
*waits for the flames*
