No. Escaflowne not mine. Allen Schezar not
mine.
But, Lady Gabriella and other Asturian guards are mine.
~*~*~*~
~*~ Allen Schezar ~*~
The days of the
Destiny Wars were the most savage of my life. Even now, as I look back to
that bloody past, I cannot help but shudder. We lost so much…
But we gained much more from those turbulent times…
Van built a
brighter future for Fanelia… Dryden and Princess Millerna found themselves
in each other, leading Pallas to greater distinction…
As for me, it came in the most beautiful form—
My sister, Celena…
~*~*~*~
"She looks like you when you first came to me, Schezar…" she mused.
Three years after the Destiny Wars, we found ourselves doing the same things we enjoyed some 10 years ago – sitting back-to-back, sharing a single chalice between us, talking about everything under the sun…
"I had longer hair, Lady Gabriella…" I reminded, flipping a lock over my shoulder. She spluttered as she caught some in her mouth, "SCHEZAR, must you *FLAUNT* the fact SO…?!?!"
I laughed, "But it's true…!!"
She groaned and snatched the goblet I held over my shoulder, "CR*PES – you didn't even *FILL* it, Schezar…!!"
"You should learn to drink less, Lady Gabriella…" I advised seriously.
"Hn," she grunted, setting the empty glass on the grass, crying out indignantly, "I've stopped *drinking* when you ransacked my cabinets the year prior, boy…!!"
"Ah, the best thing I ever di—" I was congratulating myself when she rolled away from me suddenly. With no support for my position, I fell back with a slight screech, "Lady *GABRIELLA*!!"
She grinned, stretching herself out, yet still half-upright, her upper body propped by her elbows. "I give, Schezar… You did not bring me out to your estate for idle chatter, so *spill*…"
I brought myself up into a sitting position, "I have a proposal to make, Lady Gabriella…"
She arched an eyebrow, then smirked. "I'm touched, Schezar…" she purred, a hand over her breastplate, "… but I believe you're still too young for my taste…"
I slapped my forehead, my cheeks heating up, "Not a *proposal*-proposal, Lady Gabriella…!! But a… a… *preposition*-proposal…!!"
She shook with laughter, "Oh, Schezar… You still make it so easy…!" Clearing her throat, she mirrored my posture and gestured for me to continue, "I'm listening…"
I inhaled deeply, "Celena and I have discussed this in great detail… She is quite taken to you, as I am to you—" "Are you sure you're not still *proposing* to me, Schezar…?" "—wha…? *NO*…!!" "Just checking…" "Women…
"Anyhow…" I laid a slightly larger hand over hers, "We've come to an agreement, and we would like your approval on this…
"Lady Gabriella… We would like nothing more than for you to give up your armor, and come to live here… with us…"
Her golden eyes were blank, "You want me to… *what*?!"
"We want you to retire from the palace scene…"
She narrowed her eyes, "Correction, you want me to retire my Caeli title, so that you can take my place…"
I stared at her, eyes brimming with incredulity, "NO…!! I'd NEVER ask yo—"
A genuine smile graced her mouth, "I know, Allen, I know…"
I held her hand close to my lips, kissing them once, "Please consider this seriously, Lady Gabriella…"
She shrugged her slight shoulders and turned back to watch Celena playing in the sun, "We shall see, Schezar…"
~*~*~*~
Lady Gabriella
never intended to retire so early. However, Celena's incessant pleading
(oh, that girl can whine most piteously, it sent my mentor leaping away at
the mere mention of Celena visiting…!!) tore down the numerous barriers my
headstrong mentor had built around her.
Within a year, we more than welcomed my dearest teacher into our humble
home…
I believe education
runs in her blood. If Lady Gabriella does not teach, I believe she may go
insane with boredom…
So I let her tutor my fragile sister – everything from alchemy to zoology…
But one day, I got more than what I bargained for…
~*~*~*~
I was watching the men practicing idly when something else caught my eye. I squinted against the sun, focusing on the dainty newcomer in white cuirass armor, handling the rapier with an expert hand.
My eyes widened, "*CELENA*?!?!"
I approached the place where my *sister* was fencing with another figure.
"LADY *GABRIELLA*!!" I have never raised my voice against my mentor, but the display before me robbed me of all senses, "*WHAT* do you THINK you're *DOING*?!"
The forgotten fire from long ago leapt back into her eyes, "What do you *THINK* I'm doing, *SCHEZAR*?!?!"
I hissed and grabbed my sister's sword-arm, forcing her to drop the blade. "I would *NOT* have you bringing CELENA *HERE*!!"
"Let *GO*, brother…!!" my gentle sibling cried out angrily, yanking her hand away and retrieving the blade. I lunged for her, but she was small and agile. Also, my mentor would not grant me the pleasure of it…
"Lady *Gabriella*…" I growled menacingly, my voice edged with steel, "I believe *this* wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to tutor my *sister*…"
"Ah, but you encouraged her to cultivate an interest in *everything*…" the maroon-braided woman countered hotly, still defending her youngest charge, "*AND*, you told me to teach her *all* she wanted to learn…!!"
"Not *THIS*…!!" I protested, pointing a sharp digit towards the steel in my dear sister's hand. I brought my face to my elder's ear, "You remember who she *was* before, do you *NOT*…?!"
She shook her head in disbelief, "And why should *that* be of any importance, Schezar…?!"
"I would *NOT* have her reverting to—"
"STOP IT!!" a shrill cry interrupted me, and I turned. "Stop it, STOP IT, *STOP* IT!!!" who I presumed was my once-quiet sibling screamed, "You may speak *about* me as well as *TO* me…!! As for *THIS*—" she jerked the gleaming arm in her hand, "—*I* asked to take it, so don't go *BLAMING* Lady Gabriella for this, brother mine…!!"
Before I could put forth a word edgewise, she continued, "I remember… I remember everything…!! And do you know what, brother mine…? I *want* to remember it…!! Dilandau Albatou is a part of me, as much as I am him!! I've accepted it as a fact I cannot change, and so has everyone else. If they can accept me for who I am, why can't *YOU*, *BROTHER* MINE?!?!"
I felt my eye twitch, "Celena. Go to your room."
She clenched her small hands into fists. "No."
"*Celena*," I tried once more, "I *NEED* you to GO TO YOU—"
"Celena, would you do me the honor by waiting for us in your room?" Lady Gabriella requested calmly as she crossed the short distance between brother and sister, "I would do to discuss this with your dear brother…"
Torn between loyalties, her innocence led her to embrace my mentor. Whispering something to the elder, she nodded and ran to the living quarters…
"As for *YOU*…!!" the ice I had not heard in near 11 years returned with a vengeance, "We shall speak of this, *NOW*…!!"
I bristled visibly, "FINE by me." Turning swiftly on my heel, I headed to the wood beside the fort, "*COME*!!"
"Lady Gabriella…" I heard my right-hand man call softly as he capped her shoulder. She patted his hand and nodded, "I will be all right, Gaddes…"
We had scarcely made it to privacy when her perfectly trained hand flew across my temple. I hissed vehemently at her. She held a hand to me, "Don't you *dare* give me that LOOK, *BOY*…!!"
"Lady *Gabriella*…!!" I growled, "How *COULD* you betray this trust I—"
"I did *NOT* betray ANYONE'S *TRUST*, SCHEZAR!!" she spat, burnished gold gleaming with the flames of the Phoenix, "Do *NOT* accuse what you CANNOT *PROVE*…!!"
We seethed at each other. In that one moment, we had erased 15 years of understanding and leapt back to the one common emotion that bound us together in the first place – STUBBORN *HATRED*…
But if Lady Gabriella has learned anything these recent years, it was that her age could no longer hold the emotions she once prided herself with.
"Allen, we must stop this…" she retreated from our glaring contest and massaged the bridge of her nose, "This will get us nowhere, and besides, I am exhausted from training that Phoenix that is your sister…"
I growled and leaned against a tree, "Which was the point of this argument, Lady Gabriella…" I sighed, beginning on a fresh note, "Lady Gabriella, did I not *ask* you to look after my sister…?"
"You did… and I am…"
"Then *why* are you teaching her such… *DESTRUCTIV—" suddenly, my eyes widened as my breath was stolen from me, "Wait… Celena said she *REMEMBERS* Dilandau…?!"
My elder nodded solemnly, "She has for some time, Allen…"
"Why did you not *TELL* me…?!?!"
"Because we knew you'd react… well… like *this*…"
I slammed my head against the crumbling bark, "Goddess… *GABRIELLA*…!!"
A gentle hand patted my shoulder, "Please, Allen… before you fly off the handle so quickly, you should *see* for yourself just *who* your sister is… She is not a doll, Allen… Far from it," the hand guided my face to her, "She possesses your fire, Allen… The heart of a knight… Will you deny her this, my son…?
"Dilandau can no longer possess her body or mind. He is the past…" I tried to speak, but she beat me to it, "And *only* that. Past. Do you understand, Allen…? And because he is past – CELENA'S past – you have to come to terms that she must acknowledge the stolen years she has lived as the Albatou child… She can no more hide those memories than you can…
"But Celena has outdone us by one step, Allen. She has learnt to accept him. And with this gift of acceptance, she has learnt to move on," she traced the hilt by my side, "The men know of this, Allen. And they have forgiven this glaring fault, even if you cannot. We did not believe you were ready to accept this truth yet…" She sighed, "But if you intend to assign blame on someone for keeping this away from you for so long, then that person shall be me. It was by my word that silenced them…"
I groaned and sank to my knees.
"How sure are you that Dilandau is gone…?"
She knelt by me, "He isn't, Allen. He's still there. But the thing is, your most feared enemy is also your beloved sister.
"They are two entities in one body. He is the one who gives Celena her strength, her courage, her heart of fire. In turn, your sister makes him understand good and ill, soothes his dangerous temper, and teaches him to love. His spirit has been tamed by your sister, Allen… They balance each other, and make her a stronger woman…"
I keened, "How would you want me to act, Lady Gabriella…?!"
She drew me to her chest. "Trust your sister to take care of him, Allen… and… trust Dilandau to take care of her…"
~*~*~*~
It was not an easy
thing to trust my fragile Celena to rein the monster in her, but Lady
Gabriella would not withdraw her confidence. So I learnt to swallow it, a
day at a time…
Three years have passed. Celena has not only grown to be a fine woman, but
an independent warrior with the potential to match the best Caeli.
Dilandau was at peace within my sister, and I was blessed…
It was heart-wrenching to discover Lady Gabriella would never see it…
~*~*~*~
The tap-tap-tap of her hand was well apprised, but its familiarity came at an unholy hour. I heard the door open then click shut. A moment later, I felt her thin weight sink beside me.
I sighed, though not critically, "What is it, Lady Gabriella…?"
"It's finally happened…" she mumbled.
Sleep still clouded my mind as I rose blearily and held her slightly by her small shoulders, "What's happened, Lady Gabriella…?"
She held out a hand to her eyes and passed them slowly, but unnaturally, she did not blink. Laughing lightly, she added, "Looks like my wish was granted – I shall never have to see you *brats* ever again…"
Suddenly, all thoughts of slumber drained from my head, "WHAT?!"
She winced and rubbed her sore ears, "Please, Allen – I may not be able to see, but I can still hear very well, thank you…"
How could she be so calm…? This was the day she had dreaded for years…!!
Shaking my head lightly, I sought an alternative explanation, "No… Maybe you're wrong, Lady Gabriella… Perhaps it is too dark… Or you suffered a slight blow to the head during this evening's practice… Or—"
"Oh, stop it, Schezar…" she chided gently, feeling for my lips instead of capping it directly. The gesture made my eyes water.
Lady Gabriella… was… truly… *blind*…?!
She mumbled something indiscernible, then felt for my eyes. Wiping the moisture at the corners, she remarked, "You're crying, Allen…"
I drew her close to me, "Oh, Lady Gabriella…"
~*~*~*~
I held a private
meeting with the Crusade the next morning, announcing Lady Gabriella's
handicap. They howled in disbelief. No one had expected her to blind this
soon…
We took it upon ourselves to watch her closely, a rotation of willing
escorts to be present by her side at all times. Sad to say, Lady Gabriella
herself did not agree to this at all (d*mn her for being so stubborn and
self-reliant). I entered the infirmary that same evening with a bruised
head… Though my teacher could not see, her aim had unfortunately not
deteriorated any…
Just as she hath survived everything in her life, she sustained herself
through her handicap. She taught herself how to see without seeing, to
live unattended, to fight unaided…
I swore, upon my
Caeli title, no one I've known has been this strong…
Ah, but I can be wrong…
~*~*~*~
"But *WHAT* is wrong with her…?!" I demanded of Lady Fassa, once more intimately known to me as Princess Millerna. She shook her head, "I have told you everything, Allen…
"In the past, Lady Gabriella was a corseted woman. When she was young, her body was able to adjust to her boisterous lifestyle. As she entered adulthood, she exchanged the confining death-trap for an equally constricting armor…" sighing, she trailed a hand against the sculptured waist of the elder lady, moving downwards, "But now, age has taken its toll on her… By forsaking her armor, her brittle ribs and weaken lungs have lost its support. I know it's been 11 years since she took it off completely, but…" The seemingly collected woman sank into a seat at the foot of the bed, burying her face in her hands, "Oh Allen… She's *DYING*…!! She's dying, and there's *NOTHING* I can do about it…!!"
Lady Fas—no, Millerna… Millerna has never lied to me, and her prognoses have always been jarringly accurate. I slumped into my chair, Celena coming up behind me to touch my shoulder. "Gods…"
Then realization crashed into me like an out-of-control guymelef. "Wait – *I* did this to her… *I* was the one to ask her to give up the restrictive cuirass for lighter dresses and gowns…!!" My face contorted, "M-my fault… All my fault…"
A crash startled us. We jumped, staring at the broken music box on the floor, golden cogwheels rolling and springs bouncing still… My eyes lifted to follow the ashen hand hanging limply by the edge of the bed.
"… d*mned… brainless… *twerp*…" she croaked, her hand clawing the bedside table for another projectile to hurl, "… always… *blaming*… yourself…"
I rushed to her side and caught her wrist. She had a terrible look in her eyes. I have never known my mentor to glare at me with such searing… DISGUST…
"Please, Lady Gabriella – you are gravely ill…"
She snarled, tugging weakly at her arm. Sensing how weak she truly was, I let go. It fell back onto the snow-white sheets without a sound. I stared at it sadly – when had she lost so much weight…? How did I not notice her shrinking body…?
"Get… out…" she barked hoarsely, her hand pressing feebly against my thigh. I said something in protest, but she insisted ferociously, unseeing eyes ablaze with incensed authority, "*Get* *OUT*…!!"
"Lady Gabri—"
I gathered Celena in my arms and shook my head. Once Lady Gabriella entered this state of mind, nothing could bring her out of it… Ushering my helpless sister and the shaking healer out of the room, I turned to close the doors…
I heard my beloved teacher say one thing that broke my heart.
"… pathetic… weak… body… mine…"
~*~*~*~
She loathed it. She
loathed how vulnerable she was – bedridden, broken, bound… She loathed how
enervated she had become – lacking strength, lacking will…
What should have been a tight slap came as an ineffectual scratch to my
face… What should have been a vehement curse came as a choked whisper…
What should have been a h*llfire glower came as an exhausted stare…
She was passing through the agony of her life – as it was mine, to watch
her fading light…
Lady Fassa gave Lady Gabriella less than a color to live. Assembling the
men, we decided to act quickly. The crew volunteered as messengers – by
horseback, levistone ship and guymelef… We knew—
We had
to gather the family together before the end…
~*~*~*~
I stared at the multitude that filled the Master Chambers, where my frail mother had been moved to. I counted the faces I knew… Over the years, Lady Gabriella had touched the hearts of over 100 siblings, excluding their families…
Nonetheless, since she did not publicly call them her sons and daughters, they did not dare approach the bed, as did I…
My knighthood brothers made way for me. They called me Lady Gabriella's truest son, for I had been with her for more than half her life. Had it been any other time, the title they bestowed would've made me smile… At present, no title was desirable if it came down to this…
"Mama…" I whispered, the honorary name I gave rolling easily on my tongue, kissing her hollow cheek, "Your children are here, Mama…"
She blinked her misty eyes open, "Children…?" One of us stroked her brow, and her face lit up slightly, "Joseph…" We were amazed at her instant recognition, murmuring in approval. "Yes, Mama… Joseph is here… And Jean-Luc… And Boris… And Gaddes…"
"Kio, Theo, Kip, Tomas, Reeding, Pyle…"
"Van and Merle…"
"Millerna and Dryden…"
"Chid…"
"Allen and Celena…" the last came from my still-naïve son, in return for his introduction. I nodded to him, a handsome young man taking much after my younger image, with a touch of Marlene…
She frowned quizzically, a childlike voice questioning, "Why are you… all… here…?"
Van leaned forward, a sturdy man of 24 – a sharp contrast to the young boy-King I first met some 10 years ago – "We came to see you, Lady Gabriella…"
"Such good… children…" she giggled.
We watched over her, telling her of the many faces she would never see. Joseph, his wife, two sons and daughter, Sara Gabriella Le'maire… Jean-Luc and his lover… Boris, his wife, 6 children and 2 grandchildren… Van, his Queen and his son Lancour… Merle and her adopted kittens… Millerna with her overflowing belly…
And my family… Celena, her husband and twin sons… the Crusade… and I…
She nodded weakly at each introduction, murmuring, "So beautiful…"
The clock struck midnight. In the midst of a prayer, we heard her feeble voice.
"Allen…"
One of my brothers called for me, as I was at the far corner of the room. My brothers shifted to attend to her while I came, but she pushed them away, "No. I want Allen…"
I came to her side and kissed her hand, like I had done for the past 17 years, then her cheek, as I had added since 10 years ago.
"I am present, Mama…"
"Hold me…"
I smiled shakily and nodded towards her unseeing eyes, "Of course, Mama…"
~*~*~*~
The wail that filled the room was drowned out by the sudden stillness I held in my arms…
~*~*~*~
I stroked her pale cheek, already cold with Death. Almost unconsciously, I brushed the dark vermillion stray tendril from her peaceful face, tucking it behind her elf-like ear, like how she always wore it… The pad of my thumb moved higher, touching the bottom edge of her closed eyes, lightly feeling her serene eyelashes. In my mind, I imagined the fire those eyes had when they were open. A liquid inferno within orbs of flaming gold…
I choked back a sob…
~*~*~*~
We buried her in
her home, Asturia.
Lady Gabriella was 42 years old…
~*~*~*~
The Caeli memorial they erected in the palace was a hideous thing in my eyes. Nonetheless, servants were sent to care for the marble statue, a wreath of evergreen crowning her image always…
Instead, we turned to the simple marker we had made together, placed at the axis of our shared kingdoms. Dryden bought us sufficient supplies. Joseph had designed it – a sword embraced by a Firebird. Boris carved it himself. Van sealed feathers from his own wings to add to its authenticity. The Crusade moved it from the Schezar Estate to its new home. Merle dug the soil with her bare hands. Chid prayed over the mahogany cenotaph…
And every year, we returned to pay our respects, petals scattered in the wind…
~*~*~*~
Aoi Akiko rambles:
I have been led to believe that in Escaflowne, a moon = a day,
and a color = a month. If I am wrong, then whack me over the
head. If not, then... try not to get confused as you read the ficlet...
