*raises glass of champagne* Yet another birthday dedication! This fic is completely and total in honor of the day of birth of the lovely and talented Cellorama, Cellizzle, Rachelilyloo, or sometimes, just Rachel. *beams* I honestly had no idea what to write besides the fact that it had to be Specs/Dutchy ("GIVE ME SPUTCHY!"). And then, I got the Wicked soundtrack. So, this is dedicated purely to Rachel, who never seems to cease "defying gravity." [/sap]
Disclaimers: Specs and Dutchy are just two of many people/things that Sita does not own. Like tickets to Avenue Q or a lot of chocolate or Trey Parker tied up and trapped in her living room. ^^
Warnings: Slash, fluff
Defying Gravity
"Dutchy?"
Hearing his name called by the far-too-familiar voice of his best friend was enough to make Dutchy pause from tossing his parents' old records into his broken-down Volkswagen Bug. He turned around and shut the door. He had almost everything he needed in the faded, black Bug, anyway.
Despite the chill of the night air, Specs had walked all the way from the dorm they shared to the parking lot dressed only in a pair of plaid pajama pants and thong sandals. His dark hair was messy, and his glasses hung precariously off of his nose. He straightened them, then yawned and stretched as the moonlight glinted off of his pale, bare chest. He blinked, obviously still caught up in the stupor that came from being awakened at an inopportune time.
"Go back to sleep, Specs," Dutchy said quietly.
"Dutchy, where are you going?" the other boy asked, fighting back another yawn. "It's almost three in the morning."
"Yeah, I know. I wanted to get out of here before anyone could find me."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving for good."
Quite suddenly, Specs was completely awake. His dark brown eyes widened in shock, and he took a tentative step forward.
"Dutch, you can't just leave. We've only got two weeks left to graduation!"
"And then what?"
Specs blinked. "What do you mean?"
Dutchy calmly leaned against the Bug, his arms folded in front of him. "After graduation, I mean. What happens? I go off and become a... a scientist or whatever, like my parents want?" He snorted. "Right. That's gonna be fulfilling."
"How is just running off into the night going to help anything? Do you know where you're going?"
"Not a clue. But, Specs, don't you see? That's the whole point!" Dutchy's bright blue eyes were shining behind his glasses. "I'm tired of living by other people's rules. I'm just plain sick of it! For once, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. I just want to start driving and driving until I fly." He grinned and spread his arms, facing the night sky. "I want to defy gravity," he whispered, more to himself than to Specs.
The silence echoed deafeningly for a few seconds before Specs spoke up. "Were you... were you really planning on just leaving? Without saying goodbye to anyone? To Skitts, to Bumlets..." He averted his eyes. "To me?"
Dutchy laughed quietly. "Specs, that's why I had to leave now. If I told you guys that I was leaving, then I'd have to say goodbye. And I'd never be able to do it. Do you think it's easy for me to just get up and leave, knowing that I'd probably never see you again?"
"So why are you doing it?"
"Because if I don't, I'll end up living my whole life the way other people want me to."
Specs sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "Then I guess... if you're really sure you wanna do this..."
"I am."
"Well... goodbye, then."
Neither moved. Dutchy stood with his hand lightly brushing the door handle while Specs seemed frozen to the spot, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.
Suddenly, Dutchy let out a small sigh. He plopped down on the blacktop next to his car and patted the ground next to him. Specs blinked in surprise, but settled himself down next to his best friend.
"What's the matter?"
"I lost my nerve. Just keep talking to me, and I'll get it back." Dutchy tilted his head to the side and half-smiled. "You've always seemed to have that effect on me, y'know. Ever since I got here, you've always given me a weird kind of courage."
Specs blushed slightly and looked at the ground, his shaggy, brown hair falling into his eyes. "I don't know why. I'm not exactly the most courageous guy in the world."
"Maybe not. But you're my best friend, and just having you around me makes me...." He trailed off and shrugged. "I don't know. I can't explain it."
"I know what you mean, though. I feel it, too."
Dutchy glanced over at the boy next to him.
"Specs?"
"Yeah?"
"You remember how..." Dutchy trailed off and shook his head. "Never mind."
"No, say it."
"If I do, you have to promise not to get pissed, and you have to promise not to lie. Okay?"
Specs blinked. "I promise."
Dutchy sighed, leaned his head against the Bug, and stared up at the sky. "Last year."
"What about it."
"We'd both just been dumped by our girlfriends, and every night, we were getting totally wasted."
Specs froze. Dutchy could see he knew what was coming next.
"Y-Yeah... I remember."
"And every night... I tried to kiss you." Dutchy's voice was barely above a whisper. "But you never let me. Even though you were drunk, you never did. Why?"
"Maybe because I like girls."
"You're breaking your promise."
"I'm not pissed."
"No, but you're lying."
Specs glanced sharply at Dutchy, his dark eyes wide in shock. Dutchy's face was calm, certain. He knew. He knew. Despite all the precautions Specs had taken, Dutchy knew.
"How did you find out?"
"It takes one to know one," Dutchy replied, smiling crookedly. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"Well, I didn't know you were... like me. And I learned in high school that it wasn't exactly something you publicized."
Dutchy smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah, I had to learn that the hard way, too." He met his best friend's eyes. "So why didn't you let me kiss you?"
Specs sighed and leaned backwards, resting his head against the battered Bug. "I didn't want you to kiss me when we were drunk because it wouldn't have meant anything then."
"What do you mean?"
"We just would have written it off as some stupid, drunken mistake, and things probably would have been really awkward, and I didn't want that to happen because I cared about you and respected you and liked you too much."
Dutchy playfully raised an eyebrow. "What kind of 'like' are we talking about here?" he asked, grinning as Specs blushed violently. "Is this the 'I wanna hang out with you and do stupid best-friend-type things with you' kind of 'like,' or the 'holy crap, you are so sexy, I wanna jump you right now, rawr' kind of 'like?'"
"You're such a pervert!" Specs yelled, laughing in spite of himself. Dutchy grinned sheepishly and joined in. Soon, they found themselves laughing so hard that their sides ached and tears streamed down their faces.
"I wish I knew why I thought that was so funny," Specs murmured to himself.
"I think it was the 'rawr.'"
Another fit of giggles escaped Specs' throat, but he stopped when he noticed Dutchy staring at him, studying him. Specs took a moment to do the same. He suddenly noticed how the moonlight streamed through the other boy's blond hair, how serenely blue his eyes were, how deathly pale yet strangely beautiful his black T-shirt and baggy, ripped jeans made him look...
Dutchy tentatively covered Specs' hand with his own, but Specs found that his eyes were locked on to Dutchy's.
"It's a different kind of 'like,'" the dark-haired boy heard himself whisper. "It's the 'I think you're beautiful, and I kinda wanna kiss you, but I know I probably shouldn't' kind of 'like.'"
Dutchy stared, surprised. Then, gently, he ran his fingers down Specs' bare arm. The other boy shivered slightly.
"We're not drunk now."
"No. We're not."
"Can I... can I maybe-"
"Yes."
Dutchy grinned and leaned forward slowly. He awkwardly placed his hand on the curve of Specs' neck and gently tugged him forward. Specs automatically grabbed a handful of Dutchy's shirt as their noses brushed.
"Close your eyes." Specs swallowed shakily, and his eyes fluttered shut.
He bit his lip as he felt Dutchy's lips graze his ear. "Oh, God..."
"Shhh..."
"Dutchy..." Specs' fingers curled against the pavement as Dutchy snaked his arm around Specs' waist. He gently brushed his lips over the soft, pale skin of Specs' cheek before hovering over the other boy's mouth.
Then, he leaned forward and firmly pressed his lips to Specs'.
The dark-haired boy whimpered into Dutchy's mouth before placing his hand on the back of his best friend's head and pulling him closer. Dutchy pressed Specs firmly against the side of the car and deepened the kiss, smiling inwardly as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his neck.
The boys broke apart a few minutes later, lips swollen and panting heavily.
"Well..." Dutchy said finally. "That's gonna make it even harder for me to get the hell out of here."
Suddenly, the reality of why exactly they were outside at three in the morning with all of Dutchy's stuff packed into his car dawned on Specs.
But a new possibility had opened.
"Take me with you."
"What?!"
"Take me with you. Please, Dutchy, don't leave me here."
"Your parents will kill you if you just ditch college like that."
Specs smiled and gently touched Dutchy's cheek.
"You're not the only one that's wanted to defy gravity, Dutchy," he whispered. "You're just the first one who's had the courage to try it."
"You really wanna come with me?"
"Yes."
Dutchy studied Specs for a few seconds more, then leaned forward and kissed him softly on the forehead.
"Okay. Let's go."
Grinning, Specs raced around to the passenger door, flung it open, and hopped in.
"What about all your stuff?"
"Forget it! It's just stuff!" Specs yelled with a wild grin. Dutchy grinned back and hopped into the driver's seat. Wordlessly, he turned the car on and sped away from college.
Within minutes, they were racing across the highway, stars, trees, and the world they knew flying past and disappearing in the distance.
Specs smiled when Dutchy's hand found his own.
"So this is defying gravity," Dutchy murmured.
"No," Specs replied quietly. He leaned over and softly kissed Dutchy's lips. "This is."
Neither boy had a plan, but neither particularly cared.
Because both boys felt freer than they could ever remember feeling.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes... and leap
It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't bring me down
- "Defying Gravity," Wicked
Wow. That was sappy. And kinda weird. Note to self: never write fics directly after reading a Poppy Z. Brite book. *nodnodnod* Anyway! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHELILYLOOLOO! *glomp*
