The Lords of the Caffine
By Caroline Jordan
Summary: You throw the whole Fellowship and some junior high kids in a house...what sort of insanity will occur?
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. If I did, why would I be writing here? These kids are once again, me and my friends.
Chapter 1- Moving In
Frodo threw his suitcase into the door and sighed heavily. He had walked all the way from his house to this one with his suitcase. It probably only weighed about five pounds, but every step seemed to add another...and another...and another.
"Hello?!" he called. "Is anyone here?"
"Mister Frodo!" a familiar voice called.
Sam rushed downstairs. "It's about time you got here. We were worried."
"Why exactly are we here Sam?" Frodo asked.
"I'm not sure," he said, "but I got this letter from Lord Elrond, see?"
Frodo pulled out a piece of paper. "I got one too."
Sam shrugged. "Here. Let's take this upstairs."
The Fellowship was dragging more luggage inside when the door suddenly swung open. A short, red-haired boy with glasses stood there. He looked inside, did a double-take and shouted, "Holy monkies!"
A much taller boy with blonde hair came up behind him. "C'mon Ben! You're blocking the door! Geez! I just met you and already you're in the way."
"Peter," Ben said. "Do you see what I see?"
"No! Because you're blocking my way!" Peter yelled. "You may be short, but I'm standing two steps lower than you!"
Ben walked inside, cautiously, and Peter stepped in. Peter's luggage fell from his hands and he and Ben said at the same time, "Holy monkies!"
"Peter! Ben! Out of the way!" a girl shouted.
"Lisa! Get in here!" Ben called.
"I. CAN'T!!!" Lisa screamed.
Peter grabbed her by the arm and threw her inside. Lisa gasped and dropped a box she was holding. A sickening shattering noise came from inside.
"Ara...Arag...ARAGORN!!!!!!!" she screamed on the top of her lungs.
She ran over and leapt into Aragorn's arms. Quite frightened, Aragorn looked over at Legolas who was trying not to laugh.
"I see Aragorn's made a friend," Boromir grinned.
Three other girls and two more boys came in. The whole house started talking at once; Peter and Ben saying "Holy monkies!" over and over, Dan (Dajotre) and Rachel (Tippy) arguing over nothing, Aragorn trying to get Lisa off of him, Brittney and Ashley fighting over Frodo, and Bryan asking where Arwen was.
Suddenly, a louder voice came above the rest. "QUIET!!!"
All froze and looked up at the staircase. Standing there was a girl, slightly shorter than Peter, with blonde hair.
"Tracy? Where'd you come from?" Brittney asked.
"I was the one that brought you all here," Tracy said.
"You were?" Bryan asked.
"Actually it was a plot between me and Lord Elrond in order to ruin your lives," she explained. "Elrond didn't want to stay here, but I did! Oh, and by the way. Two more shall be joining us."
"Who?" Dajotre asked.
"By request of Bryan: Eowyn and Arwen," Tracy replied.
"YES!!!" Bryan rejoiced.
"This is going to be war," Tippy muttered.
"Not if it's organized, Tippy," Tracy said, walking downstairs.
"Tracy and organized don't go together," Peter answered.
"Yeah, you should see her binder," Ben agreed.
"There is not enough for everyone to have their own room-," Tracy began.
Everyone started complaining, curses coming from Bryan followed by Ben shouting, "Say 'Darn it!'"
"Calm yourselves!" Tracy sighed. "Anyway, I've come up with a plan. There is enough for four people in a room. I thought that, for the sake of the Fellowship, we'll keep the Fellowship and kids in separate rooms. Room 1 will be Ben, Bryan, Dajotre and Peter. 2 is me, Brittney, Ashley and Tippy. I thought I should keep all Aragorn lovers in one room, so Room 3 is Eowyn, Lisa and Arwen."
"Wait...," Lisa said. (She was still hugging Aragorn.) "You're putting me with Arwen?!"
"Now, Lisa," Tracy scolded. "You're going to have to learn to get along with Liv- I mean- Arwen."
Lisa groaned and Tracy continued, "Room 4 is Legolas, Aragorn, Pippin and Merry. Room 5 is Frodo, Sam-."
"Ugh! Slashy!" Brittney yelled.
"Brittney! Shut up!" Tracy shouted.
The Fellowship looked at each other, confused.
"Frodo, Sam, Boromir, Gandalf and Gimli is short enough to sleep UNDER the bed," Tracy finished.
Gimli muttered and cursed under his breath in Dwarvish.
"So we're stuck together for two months?" Legolas asked.
"Oh don't worry Legolas, dear," Tracy grinned. "We'll all have fun! You'll see!"
She carried her suitcase upstairs and Legolas turned to Aragorn who was still trying to pry Lisa off of him.
"Did she just call me "dear?"" he asked.
"Don't tell me about YOUR problems!" Aragorn yelled. "Look what I have to put up with!"
"Lady Arwen won't be too happy to hear about this," Merry grinned.
"Uh...guys," Frodo said. "A little help?"
They all turned to see Ashley and Brittney screaming at each other. They were each holding one of Frodo's arms, and Frodo looked quite hilarious with his helpless and confused expression.
"He's mine!!!" Ashley screamed.
"No he's not!" Brittney yelled. "I saw him first!"
"So what?! I love him more!"
"No you don't! I have thirty five pictures of him!"
"So?! I DRAW pictures of him!"
"My last name begins with the same letter of HIS last name!"
~Silence~
"What's that got to do with anything?!"
"Let him go!" Sam shouted, pulling him away.
Brittney started laughing. The Fellowship looked at each other, very confused.
"That was slashy!" Brittney said through hystarical laughter. "I LOVE it!"
Tracy stormed downstairs and shook Brittney by the shoulders. "I did NOT bring you here to have you destroy things on the first day! There will be NO mention of slash while I'M in the house!"
"What about when you're not in the house?" Brittney asked.
"NO!!!" Tracy yelled.
She turned to see Peter and Ben still standing in front of the door, frozen. Tracy strode over and tapped Peter on the shoulder. No responce. She waved her hand in front of Ben's face.
"Are you guys awake?" Tracy asked.
"Holy monkies," Ben whispered.
Peter fell forward and Tracy tried to hold him up. "Ehm, Dajotre? Can you give me a hand?"
Dajotre started applauding unenthusiastically. Tracy glared at him and dragged Peter off. Pippin came over to Ben and looked at him.
"I think he's dead, Merry," Pippin said.
"You can't be dead standing up," Merry told him, coming over.
Pippin tapped him on the shoulder and Ben fell backwards.
"NOW I think he's dead," Merry nodded.
Gandalf knelt next to Ben and shook him a little. Dajotre sighed and came over. He yanked Ben to his feet and screamed on the top of his lungs, "WAKE UP!!!"
Ben snapped awake and looked at Dajotre. "Dan! I had this crazy dream!"
"Ben, it's not a dream," Dajotre replied.
"Oh," Ben said.
...........
"COOL!!!!!!!!" Ben screamed.
He ran over and pointed to each person. "You're Frodo being fought over by deranged fangirls!"
Frodo continued to look helpless.
"You're Sam: the stupid fat hobbit!"
Sam glared at him.
"You're Merry and Pippin! The drunk hobbit peoples!"
Merry and Pippin nodded proudly.
"You're Legolas! Tracy is TOTALLY in love with you and Pippin! And she's in the denial stage of loving Elrond! That's what a quiz she took said!"
Legolas arched an eyebrow in confusion while grinning a little at the denial stage remark.
"You're Gimli! NObody likes YOU!!!"
Gimli grumbled and glared at Ben.
"You're Gandalf! The freaky old wizard freak that sleeps with his eyes open!"
Gandalf chuckled a little at Ben's ecstatic behavior.
"You're Aragorn! As you can see, Lisa is totally OBSESSED with you!!!"
Aragorn nodded sarcastically and tried to pull himself out of Lisa's iron grip hold.
"You're Boromir! You should be dead right now!!!"
"Hey! You're right!" Boromir said.
Ben spun around in circles. "And here we are in the room, in the house, in the city, in the county, in the state, in the country, in the continent, in the hemisphere, in the world, in the solar system, in the galaxy, in the universe and BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ben then collapsed and was unconscious again. Ashley and Brittney looked at each other.
"Let's go take this outside where it's less insane," Brittney said.
"I agree," Ashley nodded.
They walked out the door, leaving Frodo behind. The others exchanged scared looks.
"Uhhh...let's go," Sam said.
They all walked out the door leaving Ben unconscious and Lisa with Aragorn.
"Hey!" Aragorn yelled. "HEY!!! A LITTLE HELP!!!!!!!"
(I love it! Hey! If you could tell me who your favorite character is out of the kids, that would be great! My friends are anxious to know who has the most votes. Tippy hasn't been given much of a part, but she is incredibly insane. I'll try to show you that later.)
By Caroline Jordan
Summary: You throw the whole Fellowship and some junior high kids in a house...what sort of insanity will occur?
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. If I did, why would I be writing here? These kids are once again, me and my friends.
Chapter 1- Moving In
Frodo threw his suitcase into the door and sighed heavily. He had walked all the way from his house to this one with his suitcase. It probably only weighed about five pounds, but every step seemed to add another...and another...and another.
"Hello?!" he called. "Is anyone here?"
"Mister Frodo!" a familiar voice called.
Sam rushed downstairs. "It's about time you got here. We were worried."
"Why exactly are we here Sam?" Frodo asked.
"I'm not sure," he said, "but I got this letter from Lord Elrond, see?"
Frodo pulled out a piece of paper. "I got one too."
Sam shrugged. "Here. Let's take this upstairs."
The Fellowship was dragging more luggage inside when the door suddenly swung open. A short, red-haired boy with glasses stood there. He looked inside, did a double-take and shouted, "Holy monkies!"
A much taller boy with blonde hair came up behind him. "C'mon Ben! You're blocking the door! Geez! I just met you and already you're in the way."
"Peter," Ben said. "Do you see what I see?"
"No! Because you're blocking my way!" Peter yelled. "You may be short, but I'm standing two steps lower than you!"
Ben walked inside, cautiously, and Peter stepped in. Peter's luggage fell from his hands and he and Ben said at the same time, "Holy monkies!"
"Peter! Ben! Out of the way!" a girl shouted.
"Lisa! Get in here!" Ben called.
"I. CAN'T!!!" Lisa screamed.
Peter grabbed her by the arm and threw her inside. Lisa gasped and dropped a box she was holding. A sickening shattering noise came from inside.
"Ara...Arag...ARAGORN!!!!!!!" she screamed on the top of her lungs.
She ran over and leapt into Aragorn's arms. Quite frightened, Aragorn looked over at Legolas who was trying not to laugh.
"I see Aragorn's made a friend," Boromir grinned.
Three other girls and two more boys came in. The whole house started talking at once; Peter and Ben saying "Holy monkies!" over and over, Dan (Dajotre) and Rachel (Tippy) arguing over nothing, Aragorn trying to get Lisa off of him, Brittney and Ashley fighting over Frodo, and Bryan asking where Arwen was.
Suddenly, a louder voice came above the rest. "QUIET!!!"
All froze and looked up at the staircase. Standing there was a girl, slightly shorter than Peter, with blonde hair.
"Tracy? Where'd you come from?" Brittney asked.
"I was the one that brought you all here," Tracy said.
"You were?" Bryan asked.
"Actually it was a plot between me and Lord Elrond in order to ruin your lives," she explained. "Elrond didn't want to stay here, but I did! Oh, and by the way. Two more shall be joining us."
"Who?" Dajotre asked.
"By request of Bryan: Eowyn and Arwen," Tracy replied.
"YES!!!" Bryan rejoiced.
"This is going to be war," Tippy muttered.
"Not if it's organized, Tippy," Tracy said, walking downstairs.
"Tracy and organized don't go together," Peter answered.
"Yeah, you should see her binder," Ben agreed.
"There is not enough for everyone to have their own room-," Tracy began.
Everyone started complaining, curses coming from Bryan followed by Ben shouting, "Say 'Darn it!'"
"Calm yourselves!" Tracy sighed. "Anyway, I've come up with a plan. There is enough for four people in a room. I thought that, for the sake of the Fellowship, we'll keep the Fellowship and kids in separate rooms. Room 1 will be Ben, Bryan, Dajotre and Peter. 2 is me, Brittney, Ashley and Tippy. I thought I should keep all Aragorn lovers in one room, so Room 3 is Eowyn, Lisa and Arwen."
"Wait...," Lisa said. (She was still hugging Aragorn.) "You're putting me with Arwen?!"
"Now, Lisa," Tracy scolded. "You're going to have to learn to get along with Liv- I mean- Arwen."
Lisa groaned and Tracy continued, "Room 4 is Legolas, Aragorn, Pippin and Merry. Room 5 is Frodo, Sam-."
"Ugh! Slashy!" Brittney yelled.
"Brittney! Shut up!" Tracy shouted.
The Fellowship looked at each other, confused.
"Frodo, Sam, Boromir, Gandalf and Gimli is short enough to sleep UNDER the bed," Tracy finished.
Gimli muttered and cursed under his breath in Dwarvish.
"So we're stuck together for two months?" Legolas asked.
"Oh don't worry Legolas, dear," Tracy grinned. "We'll all have fun! You'll see!"
She carried her suitcase upstairs and Legolas turned to Aragorn who was still trying to pry Lisa off of him.
"Did she just call me "dear?"" he asked.
"Don't tell me about YOUR problems!" Aragorn yelled. "Look what I have to put up with!"
"Lady Arwen won't be too happy to hear about this," Merry grinned.
"Uh...guys," Frodo said. "A little help?"
They all turned to see Ashley and Brittney screaming at each other. They were each holding one of Frodo's arms, and Frodo looked quite hilarious with his helpless and confused expression.
"He's mine!!!" Ashley screamed.
"No he's not!" Brittney yelled. "I saw him first!"
"So what?! I love him more!"
"No you don't! I have thirty five pictures of him!"
"So?! I DRAW pictures of him!"
"My last name begins with the same letter of HIS last name!"
~Silence~
"What's that got to do with anything?!"
"Let him go!" Sam shouted, pulling him away.
Brittney started laughing. The Fellowship looked at each other, very confused.
"That was slashy!" Brittney said through hystarical laughter. "I LOVE it!"
Tracy stormed downstairs and shook Brittney by the shoulders. "I did NOT bring you here to have you destroy things on the first day! There will be NO mention of slash while I'M in the house!"
"What about when you're not in the house?" Brittney asked.
"NO!!!" Tracy yelled.
She turned to see Peter and Ben still standing in front of the door, frozen. Tracy strode over and tapped Peter on the shoulder. No responce. She waved her hand in front of Ben's face.
"Are you guys awake?" Tracy asked.
"Holy monkies," Ben whispered.
Peter fell forward and Tracy tried to hold him up. "Ehm, Dajotre? Can you give me a hand?"
Dajotre started applauding unenthusiastically. Tracy glared at him and dragged Peter off. Pippin came over to Ben and looked at him.
"I think he's dead, Merry," Pippin said.
"You can't be dead standing up," Merry told him, coming over.
Pippin tapped him on the shoulder and Ben fell backwards.
"NOW I think he's dead," Merry nodded.
Gandalf knelt next to Ben and shook him a little. Dajotre sighed and came over. He yanked Ben to his feet and screamed on the top of his lungs, "WAKE UP!!!"
Ben snapped awake and looked at Dajotre. "Dan! I had this crazy dream!"
"Ben, it's not a dream," Dajotre replied.
"Oh," Ben said.
...........
"COOL!!!!!!!!" Ben screamed.
He ran over and pointed to each person. "You're Frodo being fought over by deranged fangirls!"
Frodo continued to look helpless.
"You're Sam: the stupid fat hobbit!"
Sam glared at him.
"You're Merry and Pippin! The drunk hobbit peoples!"
Merry and Pippin nodded proudly.
"You're Legolas! Tracy is TOTALLY in love with you and Pippin! And she's in the denial stage of loving Elrond! That's what a quiz she took said!"
Legolas arched an eyebrow in confusion while grinning a little at the denial stage remark.
"You're Gimli! NObody likes YOU!!!"
Gimli grumbled and glared at Ben.
"You're Gandalf! The freaky old wizard freak that sleeps with his eyes open!"
Gandalf chuckled a little at Ben's ecstatic behavior.
"You're Aragorn! As you can see, Lisa is totally OBSESSED with you!!!"
Aragorn nodded sarcastically and tried to pull himself out of Lisa's iron grip hold.
"You're Boromir! You should be dead right now!!!"
"Hey! You're right!" Boromir said.
Ben spun around in circles. "And here we are in the room, in the house, in the city, in the county, in the state, in the country, in the continent, in the hemisphere, in the world, in the solar system, in the galaxy, in the universe and BEYOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ben then collapsed and was unconscious again. Ashley and Brittney looked at each other.
"Let's go take this outside where it's less insane," Brittney said.
"I agree," Ashley nodded.
They walked out the door, leaving Frodo behind. The others exchanged scared looks.
"Uhhh...let's go," Sam said.
They all walked out the door leaving Ben unconscious and Lisa with Aragorn.
"Hey!" Aragorn yelled. "HEY!!! A LITTLE HELP!!!!!!!"
(I love it! Hey! If you could tell me who your favorite character is out of the kids, that would be great! My friends are anxious to know who has the most votes. Tippy hasn't been given much of a part, but she is incredibly insane. I'll try to show you that later.)
