Chapter 22
I am so sorry I haven't updated in the past few days! Usually I get time to work on this at work but the whole summer hiatus came to my job and I've been running around crazy. I have the next 2 days off so look for more updates quicker this time. Once again I am so sorry to those who have been so loyal to this story.
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Preview: Angel joins the team and offers apologies and some explanations.
Angel got out of his car and was greeted by Giles and the Watcher Emerald. After receiving an invitation into the house Angel surprised the two by finding his way unerringly to the library where everyone was assembled. He didn't bother to say that just over an hour ago he was here with Spike and watched them all.
"That would be just to creepy to mention." Angel thought. "I'd never live down the stalking thing after that. Ever."
When he entered the room he looked around. Everything looked almost the same. The Watchers all looked a bit more bleary eyed and those that hadn't fallen asleep with their head buried in a book had that nervous I-had-way-to-much-coffee-and-may-accidentally-stab-you- with-a-pen look but he noted most were all still in deep research mode. At Angels entrance all talking stopped and the sleeping Watchers were nudged awake. The Watchers and Scoobies all looked at him a bit warily while AI simply looked at him expectantly. He simply smiled and observed them all as if seeing them for the first time. Finally when he realized everyone had started shifting and glancing at each other uncomfortably he started speaking.
"First of all." He said slowly. "I want to thank all the Watchers here."
The Watchers looked startled and then pleased at his warm smile.
"I know you all know my history as Angelus but you are still here, working to save a friend of mine. I'm sorry it took this long for me to notice and trust you all but thank you. I think I can truly say that all of you here are a different and better breed of Watchers than most I have ever met. Anything you might need please, don't hesitate to ask. I'm in your debt."
He looked at the Scoobies next.
"I also owe all of you an apology. After your fight with the First and losing so many who were loved you all deserve a rest. But you aren't. You are helping to not only start a new Council but helping me. It took Spike throwing me through a wall to see what you've done for the people I love like my family. I haven't been much of a Champion lately and abandoned my family to wallow in my own pain and ignore theirs. But you have all helped by simply being there, to listen, to joke, to make them smile, to... I don't know, give them a purpose and a reason for laughter which I haven't done in a while."
Fred glanced at Xander at this point and smiled. Xander grinned back a little embarrassed. He had just been doing what came natural to him as had Willow and everyone else. One thing the First had taught him was when there was a moment to laugh and joke, take it. It wasn't all noble or anything, just natural.
Willow's thoughts were running in the same direction as Xanders.
"Whatever happened before we came must have been worse than what we were told if us being ourselves has made a difference. " Willow thought. "And they have also helped us! The pain and sadness isn't so clear when we are around the LA crew. I'll have to tell them later." Willow promised herself.
"Dawn," Angel directed his next comment too. "I just wanted to say that you've turned into someone so amazing. I always knew you would be special but after Cordelia hurting you, you still have helped research and are trying to find a way to help. I know your Mom is proud of you and telling every angel she meets how special you are."
Dawn smiled at that thought. Angel noted it wasn't the smile of the 13 year old kid sister of Buffy's, but the very strong young woman she was now.
"Buffy do I even have to say anything?" Angel asked jokingly.
Buffy laughed "Are you kidding? If your going to say anything profound we have to be in a sewer or chased by a bunch of demons. Those are the rules."
Buffy looked hesitant for a minute before asking
"Spike? Was he....Or did he....." she broke off without finishing and bit her lip.
"He is proud of you, and happy about recent events." Angel assured her. "He did have a complaint about annoying angels and him feeling the need to break their necks, but he seemed happy."
Buffy smiled a bit wobbly and went to Giles who embraced her and stroked her hair gently.
Angel looked at his family.
"umm could we talk privately somewhere?" he asked. "There's a few things I need to tell you all."
"Of course Angel." Fred said quickly "We can use the ballroom. The Slayers are still asleep and won't be training for a couple of hours."
As Fred and Gunn led the way, the Watchers and Scoobies went back to their research. Angel could hear the buzz of conversation break out behind him as he walked beside Lorne and Wesley. Inside the room Fred closed the heavy draperies and they all leaned against the wall.
"So Angel?" Gunn asked "Whats the deal? You are not firing us again are you?"
"What? No!" Angel said quickly. "Why did you think that?"
"You have the whole grim look instead of the broody thing Angelcakes." Lorne said matter of factly. "Broody we can deal with, grim scares the bejebers out of me."
Angel appeared to be searching for words a minute. Wesley, seeing his loss for words said
"Angel, whatever it is just say it. We'll understand."
"I know you all wondered why I agreed to take Wolfram and Hart without at least asking all of you." Angel said before pausing. When everyone nodded he continued.
"I had a choice I guess, let my son be an emotionally empty killer or give him a new life. The kind he deserved."
"I was straight until that part about a son." Gunn said "Wanna run that by one more time?"
"It was a deal." Angel said "I took the company and it was like Conner had never existed with us. I would remember him but you guys wouldn't."
"My God Angel." Wesley said as he finally made sense of it all. "Why didn't you tell us before?"
Angel shrugged "It seemed the best thing."
"And all this time you've just kept it bottled up inside?" Fred asked.
"Yeah I did." Angel said guiltily "And then I pushed you all away. I guess even though you wouldn't remember Conner I expected you to. I guess I expected you to know why I wasn't leading you. And then I got jealous because Buffy was the one leading even though I was to wrapped up in my own problems."
Angel sighed and ran his hands through his hair before looking everyone in the face.
"Can you forgive me?" He asked humbly
The group all looked at each other before Fred said
"Oh Angel, of course I do. Your still the Champion to me you know."
Gunn reached out to shake his hand "Consider everything forgiven. Welcome back man."
Lorne spoke up next "Of course I forgive you. And this has nothing to do with the long list of musical talent you have at your fingertips now that you own the company." He shook his head "Nope not at all."
Angel looked at Wesley who seemed to be lost in thought.
"Hey guys?" Angel said to the rest of the group. "Why don't you go see if anyone wants anything to eat. I'm sure they won't tear themselves away to do something needed for survival, like food."
"Yeah good idea." Gunn said "Since no one appears to even know where the kitchen is in this place finding food there might be a miracle."
"Yeah and Xander gets cranky without sugar." Fred said "That is something I'm thinking of researching actually." She continued thoughtfully as she started towards the door with Gunn and Lorne behind her.
"What?" Lorne teased her "You already seem to have Xander well studied. What's the outcome? Hunky or Super-hunky."
As Fred blushed, Gunns comment floated back to Angel and Wesley before the door closed
"Yeah and he has the whole bad boy look with the eye patch as a bonus. Maybe I should get one? Might go with the bald head."
Wesley and Angel both chuckled before facing each other.
"Yes, well I assume you want to ask me something?" Wesley said a bit stiffly.
"Yeah, well kind of." Angel stuttered before taking an unnecessary breath. "Spike took me to see this place. He showed me everyone working and you and Buffy sleeping." He finished.
"So is this where you threaten me or try to throw me around the room?" Wesley asked quite calmly.
"No, you don't understand." Angel rushed to say "I was mad, furious actually at the proof that you and Buffy are connected somehow until Spike said something. He said that if anyone had the right to be upset it was him." At Wesleys pained look Angel finished "But he wasn't."
Wesley looked relieved and then a bit confused.
"So what are you trying to tell me Angel?" He asked.
"I don't.... OK I love Buffy and always will. You know that." He waited until Wesley nodded. "But she and I both agree that it's just not meant to be. Not at this moment in time. I think you and Buffy have so much in common with loss. I mean I lost my son but he went to a better place with a family that adores him so I didn't really lose him. But you and Buffy. You two have. You've been to places emotionally that I don't even want to imagine."
Wesley gave him an understanding look before interrupting him.
"You have been there but you really don't want to go back you mean." He said shrewdly
"Yeah I guess that's it." Angel said "I feel really guilty about it though."
"Angel you shouldn't." Wesley said. "You've had your share of dark times. No one can blame you for not wanting to relive them through someone else.Buffy understands that I'm sure."
"I know she does." Angel said. "But she has you now so I don't feel so bad."
Wesley said a bit embarrassed "Angel, Buffy and I are not together like that."
"But you have feelings for her." Angel said
"Well yes I suppose. I admire her tremendously and enjoy being around her." Wesley said "But, it's way to soon for-"
"Wesley if I could say this" Angel interrupted "You and Buffy both know how short life can be. Don't waste time analyzing what makes you happy."
Wesley just nodded. Angel turned to leave. After a few steps he turned around
"Oh by the way, just so you know, she belonged to me first and if you hurt her I'll break your neck." He said with a hint of a smile.
"Understood." Wesley said "But you are a bit rusty. I may be able to take you." He said back in mock seriousness.
As they both walked out the door Angel muttered
"Oh you so couldn't Watcher boy."
Wesley just laughed.
.........................................................
OK coming up. Wesley's dark side is revealed to Buffy and Willow learns a little something about the house.
Review are loved and appreciated. Also I'm a bit torn on the Cordelia thing. Any suggestions would be great!
I am so sorry I haven't updated in the past few days! Usually I get time to work on this at work but the whole summer hiatus came to my job and I've been running around crazy. I have the next 2 days off so look for more updates quicker this time. Once again I am so sorry to those who have been so loyal to this story.
.........................................................
Preview: Angel joins the team and offers apologies and some explanations.
Angel got out of his car and was greeted by Giles and the Watcher Emerald. After receiving an invitation into the house Angel surprised the two by finding his way unerringly to the library where everyone was assembled. He didn't bother to say that just over an hour ago he was here with Spike and watched them all.
"That would be just to creepy to mention." Angel thought. "I'd never live down the stalking thing after that. Ever."
When he entered the room he looked around. Everything looked almost the same. The Watchers all looked a bit more bleary eyed and those that hadn't fallen asleep with their head buried in a book had that nervous I-had-way-to-much-coffee-and-may-accidentally-stab-you- with-a-pen look but he noted most were all still in deep research mode. At Angels entrance all talking stopped and the sleeping Watchers were nudged awake. The Watchers and Scoobies all looked at him a bit warily while AI simply looked at him expectantly. He simply smiled and observed them all as if seeing them for the first time. Finally when he realized everyone had started shifting and glancing at each other uncomfortably he started speaking.
"First of all." He said slowly. "I want to thank all the Watchers here."
The Watchers looked startled and then pleased at his warm smile.
"I know you all know my history as Angelus but you are still here, working to save a friend of mine. I'm sorry it took this long for me to notice and trust you all but thank you. I think I can truly say that all of you here are a different and better breed of Watchers than most I have ever met. Anything you might need please, don't hesitate to ask. I'm in your debt."
He looked at the Scoobies next.
"I also owe all of you an apology. After your fight with the First and losing so many who were loved you all deserve a rest. But you aren't. You are helping to not only start a new Council but helping me. It took Spike throwing me through a wall to see what you've done for the people I love like my family. I haven't been much of a Champion lately and abandoned my family to wallow in my own pain and ignore theirs. But you have all helped by simply being there, to listen, to joke, to make them smile, to... I don't know, give them a purpose and a reason for laughter which I haven't done in a while."
Fred glanced at Xander at this point and smiled. Xander grinned back a little embarrassed. He had just been doing what came natural to him as had Willow and everyone else. One thing the First had taught him was when there was a moment to laugh and joke, take it. It wasn't all noble or anything, just natural.
Willow's thoughts were running in the same direction as Xanders.
"Whatever happened before we came must have been worse than what we were told if us being ourselves has made a difference. " Willow thought. "And they have also helped us! The pain and sadness isn't so clear when we are around the LA crew. I'll have to tell them later." Willow promised herself.
"Dawn," Angel directed his next comment too. "I just wanted to say that you've turned into someone so amazing. I always knew you would be special but after Cordelia hurting you, you still have helped research and are trying to find a way to help. I know your Mom is proud of you and telling every angel she meets how special you are."
Dawn smiled at that thought. Angel noted it wasn't the smile of the 13 year old kid sister of Buffy's, but the very strong young woman she was now.
"Buffy do I even have to say anything?" Angel asked jokingly.
Buffy laughed "Are you kidding? If your going to say anything profound we have to be in a sewer or chased by a bunch of demons. Those are the rules."
Buffy looked hesitant for a minute before asking
"Spike? Was he....Or did he....." she broke off without finishing and bit her lip.
"He is proud of you, and happy about recent events." Angel assured her. "He did have a complaint about annoying angels and him feeling the need to break their necks, but he seemed happy."
Buffy smiled a bit wobbly and went to Giles who embraced her and stroked her hair gently.
Angel looked at his family.
"umm could we talk privately somewhere?" he asked. "There's a few things I need to tell you all."
"Of course Angel." Fred said quickly "We can use the ballroom. The Slayers are still asleep and won't be training for a couple of hours."
As Fred and Gunn led the way, the Watchers and Scoobies went back to their research. Angel could hear the buzz of conversation break out behind him as he walked beside Lorne and Wesley. Inside the room Fred closed the heavy draperies and they all leaned against the wall.
"So Angel?" Gunn asked "Whats the deal? You are not firing us again are you?"
"What? No!" Angel said quickly. "Why did you think that?"
"You have the whole grim look instead of the broody thing Angelcakes." Lorne said matter of factly. "Broody we can deal with, grim scares the bejebers out of me."
Angel appeared to be searching for words a minute. Wesley, seeing his loss for words said
"Angel, whatever it is just say it. We'll understand."
"I know you all wondered why I agreed to take Wolfram and Hart without at least asking all of you." Angel said before pausing. When everyone nodded he continued.
"I had a choice I guess, let my son be an emotionally empty killer or give him a new life. The kind he deserved."
"I was straight until that part about a son." Gunn said "Wanna run that by one more time?"
"It was a deal." Angel said "I took the company and it was like Conner had never existed with us. I would remember him but you guys wouldn't."
"My God Angel." Wesley said as he finally made sense of it all. "Why didn't you tell us before?"
Angel shrugged "It seemed the best thing."
"And all this time you've just kept it bottled up inside?" Fred asked.
"Yeah I did." Angel said guiltily "And then I pushed you all away. I guess even though you wouldn't remember Conner I expected you to. I guess I expected you to know why I wasn't leading you. And then I got jealous because Buffy was the one leading even though I was to wrapped up in my own problems."
Angel sighed and ran his hands through his hair before looking everyone in the face.
"Can you forgive me?" He asked humbly
The group all looked at each other before Fred said
"Oh Angel, of course I do. Your still the Champion to me you know."
Gunn reached out to shake his hand "Consider everything forgiven. Welcome back man."
Lorne spoke up next "Of course I forgive you. And this has nothing to do with the long list of musical talent you have at your fingertips now that you own the company." He shook his head "Nope not at all."
Angel looked at Wesley who seemed to be lost in thought.
"Hey guys?" Angel said to the rest of the group. "Why don't you go see if anyone wants anything to eat. I'm sure they won't tear themselves away to do something needed for survival, like food."
"Yeah good idea." Gunn said "Since no one appears to even know where the kitchen is in this place finding food there might be a miracle."
"Yeah and Xander gets cranky without sugar." Fred said "That is something I'm thinking of researching actually." She continued thoughtfully as she started towards the door with Gunn and Lorne behind her.
"What?" Lorne teased her "You already seem to have Xander well studied. What's the outcome? Hunky or Super-hunky."
As Fred blushed, Gunns comment floated back to Angel and Wesley before the door closed
"Yeah and he has the whole bad boy look with the eye patch as a bonus. Maybe I should get one? Might go with the bald head."
Wesley and Angel both chuckled before facing each other.
"Yes, well I assume you want to ask me something?" Wesley said a bit stiffly.
"Yeah, well kind of." Angel stuttered before taking an unnecessary breath. "Spike took me to see this place. He showed me everyone working and you and Buffy sleeping." He finished.
"So is this where you threaten me or try to throw me around the room?" Wesley asked quite calmly.
"No, you don't understand." Angel rushed to say "I was mad, furious actually at the proof that you and Buffy are connected somehow until Spike said something. He said that if anyone had the right to be upset it was him." At Wesleys pained look Angel finished "But he wasn't."
Wesley looked relieved and then a bit confused.
"So what are you trying to tell me Angel?" He asked.
"I don't.... OK I love Buffy and always will. You know that." He waited until Wesley nodded. "But she and I both agree that it's just not meant to be. Not at this moment in time. I think you and Buffy have so much in common with loss. I mean I lost my son but he went to a better place with a family that adores him so I didn't really lose him. But you and Buffy. You two have. You've been to places emotionally that I don't even want to imagine."
Wesley gave him an understanding look before interrupting him.
"You have been there but you really don't want to go back you mean." He said shrewdly
"Yeah I guess that's it." Angel said "I feel really guilty about it though."
"Angel you shouldn't." Wesley said. "You've had your share of dark times. No one can blame you for not wanting to relive them through someone else.Buffy understands that I'm sure."
"I know she does." Angel said. "But she has you now so I don't feel so bad."
Wesley said a bit embarrassed "Angel, Buffy and I are not together like that."
"But you have feelings for her." Angel said
"Well yes I suppose. I admire her tremendously and enjoy being around her." Wesley said "But, it's way to soon for-"
"Wesley if I could say this" Angel interrupted "You and Buffy both know how short life can be. Don't waste time analyzing what makes you happy."
Wesley just nodded. Angel turned to leave. After a few steps he turned around
"Oh by the way, just so you know, she belonged to me first and if you hurt her I'll break your neck." He said with a hint of a smile.
"Understood." Wesley said "But you are a bit rusty. I may be able to take you." He said back in mock seriousness.
As they both walked out the door Angel muttered
"Oh you so couldn't Watcher boy."
Wesley just laughed.
.........................................................
OK coming up. Wesley's dark side is revealed to Buffy and Willow learns a little something about the house.
Review are loved and appreciated. Also I'm a bit torn on the Cordelia thing. Any suggestions would be great!
