After  All, Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns them. Not me.

Author's Note: Just as the Buffy/Willow ship seems to be reaching some safe harbor, another storm turns up to throw it off course. Nothing in life is free. Happiness has costs. Sometimes, they are painful.

Let's continue.

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After All

Chapter 6

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Early morning, before sunrise.

Faith lies awake in the bed. She is staring at the ceiling. She has had another one of her dreams. the dreams that never seem to go away. She's had these dreams, on and off, since she was in a Coma.

In this dream, she is pursuing Buffy. Her intention is to kill her. She has the knife the Mayor gave her. She wants revenge. Revenge for Buffy killing the Mayor. Revenge for Buffy putting her in a coma.. It's night, they are close to the edge of a gully. They are fighting, each punching and kicking, the other blocking. But some kicks get through, some punches find their mark. It's never a sure bet who will win the fight, both are well matched. But Faith gets in a lucky blow, knocking Buffy back and over the edge of the gully. Just as she is about to lose balance and fall, she grabs at Faith, and catches her arm. She falls, taking Faith with her. They both disappear from view. Both seemingly have been lost.when a hand appears at the edge of the gully. Then another. slowly, someone pulls themselves up. It's Faith. She's covered in dirt, her face and arms scratched. She finally is over the edge, and staggers away from it. She stands up.looking up at the night sky, she lets out a primal scream.

Faith awakens in a sweat. As usual. And now she lies there, staring at the ceiling. Her face is grim. She turns, and looks at the Buffy. Her face softens. It has an air of longing and regret.

Well, B, looks like we're gonna be on opposite sides again. That's the last thing I wanted, honest. I know we didn't start out well, and it only went bad from there. But after we switched bodies, after I saw your life through your eyes, I knew I didn't want to hate you no more. That I really didn't hate you at all. I was jealous , B. I thought it was all handed to you. I didn't understand how hard you worked for it, to be who you were. What you had to give up. I couldn't deal. When I ran away, realizing what I did, I couldn't deal with being who I was. Angel saved me, and you saved me, B. After prison, B, after our battle with the First, I was hoping we could start over. Be friends this time. Stand together, and not apart.

But, that doesn't seem to be our destiny, does it? Cause here we are again, on opposite sides. We both want the same thing.Red. And it's probably gonna get bitter between us. No matter how this goes, B, I hope someday we can end this constant back and forth between us, and really be friends. I really do.

Faith watches over Buffy for a little longer, and reaches out, and gently touches her cheek. A small, sad smile plays over her lips. She turns over, and squeezes her eyes shut, trying to shut out the small ache in her heart. Slowly, she falls back asleep.

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Later.

The sun strikes Buffy in the eyes, and she opens them.and immediately jams them shut again, but too late. The knives of the hangover attack her eyes and head. She feels like poop. She tries to go back to sleep, but the throbbing won't let her. She sits up.and realizes someone is in bed with her..FAITH!  Her mind is fuzzy, so she can't remember right away why Faith is in bed with her. Then it slowly comes back to her. Faith showed up last night, needing a place to bunk. Why was she here again? Oh, yeah. she and Robin split up. Right. But, why here? She shakes her head, trying to remember. and then it hits home. Something was going on. Between Faith and Willow. She remembered now that Faith had been as surprised to see her, as she was to see Faith. Faith had been looking for Willow. And Buffy remembered Willow's reaction to seeing Faith, and the looks that passed between them. Something was there.something Buffy didn't know about. But something she had a feeling she wasn't going to like.

Then the embarrassment set in. God, I got so drunk last night. That musta won points with Will. Oh, crap.I think I got a little.playful, too. Damn. Buffy groans softly. When, Buffy, are you gonna learn you can't drink? You get stupid. .. And oh, crap I got sick too. That musta been a real crowd pleaser. Yup, I bet they had a good ol' laugh over this one. I know they sat up talking about something. I heard them.

Buffy looks at the sleeping Faith with a bemused expression on her face. Why is it, girlfriend, whenever you show up in my life, it gets complicated? First with the mayor, then with the body switch, finally with the First? Is this how it's supposed to be with us?

Buffy's expression changes to one of .compunction. She is remembering how it was to be Faith for that time she had her body. It wasn't at all pleasant. And she had learned more about Faith, how bad her life had been. Why did it have to be this way, Faith? We're a lot different, but we have one big thing in common: being slayers. We coulda, we shoulda worked together. Stood together. We could be an awesome team, you and I. if we could ever get past making life difficult for each other. Buffy sighs. But that doesn't seem to be the way it's fated, does it? I wish it were different, I really do. I think we coulda been good friends, you and me.

Buffy slips out of bed as quietly as possible, trying not to disturb Faith. She picks up her robe, and  starts to head for the bathroom. She looks back once more at the sleeping Faith, and notes she is shivering in the morning coolness. She goes over, and pulls the covers up over her. She grabs her stuff, and leaves the room.

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Buffy finds Willow sitting at the breakfast table.

She notes Willow's eyes are puffy and dark. never a good sign. That means she's been crying. Oh, boy. Also, Willow is fingering her mug, indicating nervousness. Things musta gotten really intense last night. Buffy wants nothing more than to ask Willow about it, but knows that it's better to let Will get to it in her own time. So, she starts on a different tack.

" Well, I got pretty stupid last night, didn't I?" Buffy says, a rueful grin on her face

Willow looks up, and smiles. " Oh, yeah, Buffy. I'd say you were well beyond buzzed".

Buffy blushes." Look, Will.I'm really sorry. I.I think I got a little.outta line last night. Sorry if I upset you in any way." Buffy apologizes.

" I see," Willow says, quietly. " So that was the alcohol talking, right? None of that was you, then?"

Buffy can't look at Willow. Her mouth is dry, and her cheeks are a bit pink.

"Buffy, we were supposed to have a talk last night. I'm sorry I got called away. When I got back, you were a bit too.happy.to have a discussion. So, maybe we should talk now?" Willow says. She can see Buffy is uncomfortable, but this needs to be aired out.

" Will. My head is throbbing. My hair is throbbing" Buffy whines a little. But then she sees Will has her resolve face on. She's learned over the years, don't mess with Will when her resolve face is set. She sighs." Ok, can I at least beg some coffee, first?"

Will smiles. She knows Buffy is suffering. " Yes, Buffy, you can have coffee. I made you some already." Buffy looks at her gratefully. She stands up, and rummages for a mug. Then she pours a cup, and sits back down facing Willow. She sips the coffee, grimaces a little, and looks up. Her face is a mixture of anticipation and dread.

"Ok, talk. Talk is good" Buffy says. "What about?" she tries to evade.

" Was there something you wanted to tell me, Buffy?" Willow says. She reaches out, and gently covers Buffy's hand with hers. Her voice is quiet and patient. But there is an edge of firmness to it. She's not going to let Buffy wiggle out of this one.

"Ummm." Buffy begins. She so doesn't know how to do this. " Look, Will. I need you're advice as a friend, ok?"

" A friend" Willow says. Right. Ok.  " Ok, Buffy.what can I help you with?"

" Well. ummm . I have this friend" Buffy says. "We've been friends for a long time."

" Ok. Friend. Long time." Willow says. She sits, looking serious, but is grinning inside.

" Right. We go way back. Anyway.lately, I've.well.ok, maybe not lately.maybe longer than that.I dunno.think it's been longer.maybe only lately.its confusing, you know? I mean.well.not confusing, I guess, but .puzzling?  I just don't know. I mean it .it could have been a long time.but I didn't realize it.you know what I mean?"

" Buffy?" Willow says.

"Yeah?" Buffy replies.

" You're babbling" Willow says. God, she's wanted to say that to Buffy for as long as she's known her. She almost wants to bust out laughing.. She bites her lip to keep from giggling.

" Oh." Buffy says. Embarrassed. " I guess I was. Kinda nervous."

" Buffy" Willow says. " It's me,. Will. You can tell me anything. It's ok" She smiles reassuringly, but she's like just loving this. Buffy, not so confident. Not so cool. Kinda appealing, you know?

"Ok." Buffy says. She forges on. " Anyway, I've been, lately, realizing that I have.well.my feelings towards her have changed, I think"

"Her?" Willow says. Oh, this is too good. " Does "her" have a name?" Willow asks innocently. Yeah, like that spider and her parlor innocently.

"Ahhh.. " Buffy sputters. Name, name.what name do I use? " Jill. Lets call her Jill" Buffy says. Whew.

Willow is near busting . Jill. Geeze, Buff. obvious much? " Jill. Ok, so, you're feelings towards Jill have changed? How so, Buffy?"

" I'm. uhhh. I.." Buffy stammers. "Well, I .. uh.kinda find myself daydreaming about her.. more and more.and.kinda.getting.god, Will, help me here.I.. get nervous around her.and.well.I have these fantasies.and."

" I see" Willow says, smiling. Ok, enough torture here.well.maybe not(giggling to herself). " So, you are having daydreams about her, and fantasies about her. How does that make you feel, Buffy?" Willow asks

"Ummm..nervous? Scared, maybe?" Buffy chokes a little.

"Scared?" Willow asks, bemused.  " She scares you?"

"No... my feelings.these feelings.scare me" Buffy says, clearly loathe to talk about this.

" You're scared of how you're feeling then?" Willow asks, sympathetically. "You think it's wrong?"

" I don't know what I think, Will" Buffy confesses, her eyes wide and voice plaintive. " I.she.I.what if .I weird her out? I mean.what if she doesn't.can't.feel the same way? What if I lose the friendship we have?"

" Well, there is always that risk, Buffy" Willow smiles. Not much, girl. " Have you .talked to her about this? I mean, Jill?"

" No" Buffy admits. " Afraid to".

" Buffy, it might be just a crush" Willow says. Better not be, girlfriend. " You get that with people your close to sometimes"

"Really? A crush? That's all?" Buffy seems relieved. and disappointed.

"There's no physical attraction, is there? Is there?" Willow asks. There better be, Buffy.or I'm gonna give you such a hit.then kiss the boo boo, of course.

Buffy blushes. " Don't know?" wee voice.

"So, if say, 'Jill' like, touches your arm" Willow reaches out, and lightly touches Buffy's arm " Is there any.feelings?" Buffy shivers a tiny bit

"uhhh" is all Buffy can say.

"Or, if she leans in close, to like tell you a secret" Willow leans over, getting her face inches from Buffy's " How does that make you feel? Do you like.find yourself staring at her lips? Or eyes? or.have any urges, like to kiss her?" Willow smiles. Go ahead Buffy, I won't bite.much.

Buffy is like a deer caught in the headlights. And her eyes are right on Willows lips.where she wishes her lips were.

Willow leans in closer. Her lips are just inches from Buffy's " Well.Buffy?"

Buffy panics. She pushes her chair back, and makes to bolt. " Gotta go, Will. Gotta .get ready for work" Buffy stands up, looking like she wants to run out of the apartment. Willow's had enough.

" Buffy, SIT!" Willow barks at her. Buffy looks at Willow like she's gone nuts. " SIT!"

Buffy sits.

" 'K, Buffy, kid games are over. Out with it" Willow says, her voice brooking no nonsense.

" Huh? What?" Buffy says, still trying to wiggle out of it.

" C'mon, Buffy. How dumb do you think I  am? ' Jill'? could you be more transparent?" Willow says

" Said to call her that. Didn't say that was her name" Buffy mutters.

" And her name WOULD be?" Willow says, resolve face on. Not taking anymore nonsense.

Buffy replies, almost whispering it. " Will" She turns away, blushing.

" As in Willow? " Willow asks, smiling softly

" yes" again, almost whispering

" And that Willow. has a last name?" Willow can't help it.

"Rosenberg" Buffy is nearly choking.

" You know what I think, Buffy?" Willow says, softly.

"What, Will?" Buffy asks. Here it comes.

" Well. two things. One, you're so full of adorableness now I could just kiss you." Willow says.

Buffy sits a little stunned. Huh?

" And, what the HELL took you so long?" Willow laughs.

HUH?

" What are you saying, Will?" Buffy asks

" That.you silly goose, I kinda sorta adore you back?" Willow says, smiling at her.

"Really?" Buffy says, not believing her. " Really really?"

"Really, Buffy" Willow says. She scoots closer to Buffy, reaches over and puts her arms around her neck.

"Now, Buffy. if 'Jill' puts her arms around your neck.and she pulls you close" which is what Willow does. " And she puts her lips right next to yours.really close" her lips are barely an inch from Buffy's. " What do you do?" Willow whispers softly.

"Kiss her?" Buffy says

"Mmmm.liking that idea" Willow says, and pulls Buffy into a kiss.

Their first kiss. It's soft, gentle, and eager. They both hold until they need to breathe.then they part, touching foreheads.

Willow sighs. " I just wish you'd done that sooner.like, two days ago sooner" Willow says, a little sad.

"Why Will?" Buffy asks, puzzled.

At that moment, Faith emerges from Buffy's bedroom. Willow and Buffy fly apart like they've been shot. Faith observes what's going on.

" Hey guys. Hmmm.isn't this.cozy?" She chuckles.

" There are complications" Willow says, a little remorsefully

" Any coffee left? " Faith asks, making for the kitchen

" Big complications" Willow says.

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TBC

Yeah.5'5" complications with dark hair, sexy voice and killer eyes complications

Sigh.