A/N: Standard disclaimer, no rights of ownership, etc. etc. If you like this story, make sure to check out its sequels. There are a whole crazy mess of them now. Also view the accompanying fanart at my website, www.vejiitasei.com.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

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Dawn found him alone, sitting with Amelia as he always did. The morning was so young that he knew he wouldn't be disturbed, and so he had taken the liberty of holding her hand in his. He smiled ruefully as he fingered her palm; she was a princess, and yet her hands were not completely smooth. Small calluses here and there showed that she was a woman that would not depend on others to do the work for her. Of course, he had known that already. She was courageous and strong, yet tender and gentle as well. Womanhood was just settling upon her when he had left, and now, perhaps, he would always be left to wonder what sort of woman she would have become. I'm sorry, Amelia, he whispered, leaning forward and smoothing the hair off of her pale forehead. Her face had lost significant weight in the past days, and those apple-cheeks he had become fond of had all but disappeared. He wished he would have known what to say to her before he left. He wished he would have known how he felt. None of that might matter now, not unless some sort of miracle happened. They had searched in the texts in the final library until they fell asleep face-down in their books. Zel had roused Gourry, who had gently picked up Lina and taken her back to the palace. He had followed a few moments afterward, having needed the time alone to fully comprehend the scope of their failure and what it could mean to him. Tears had nearly formed in his eyes, something that hadn't happened in so long he couldn't remember the last time he had cried. He didn't want to admit defeat, and yet there was no other option. A bitter smile crossed his lips- funny how little his appearance or worries mattered when her life was on the line. It was actually quite easy to forget about his prior concern when Amelia's survival was in question.


His mind wandered to several nights before, when she had kissed him. At least that's how he remembered it, but he was aware that memory could play tricks. All he wanted was a second chance, to see what was possible. It occurred to him that he might not mind surrendering himself and his hangups to her. Feeling exceedingly bold, he closed his eyes and rested his head on her flat stomach. He was aware of the slow rise and fall of her chest, and he could hear the inner workings of her abdomen. Please fight, he murmured, feeling the weight of the situation bearing down upon him.


There was some sort of drumming outside and he started upright, looking around in alarm until he realized it was just the signal for the changing of the guard. He sighed and squeezed her hand tightly. Soon it would be time for him to tell Phil of their failure; that was not a moment he was looking forward to. Not only would Phil be heartbroken, but it would also make the situation more real, somehow. Zelgadis shut his eyes against the pain welling up inside of him and clenched his teeth. He had lost her before they had even begun.


He sat there for several more hours, waving away breakfast and mulling over all the thousands of little instances he had shared with the woman in front of him. Finally the clock struck ten, and Zelgadis knew that Philionel would be taking his morning break. It was as good a time as any to tell him. He knew the prince would want to be with his daughter in her last moments. He squeezed Amelia's hand one last time and cleared the bangs from her forehead, taking a deep breath and kissing her so lightly on the forehead that his lips barely even grazed her skin. Taking a few steps back, he looked at her again for a long moment before forcing himself to turn and walk out the door.


Zelgadis could have sworn that Phil already knew what he was going to say when he walked in the room. How is she? Phil asked urgently, pushing aside a pile of papers and planting his hands on the desk.


I don't really know how to say this, Zelgadis said, swallowing the lump in his throat.


Just say it. You know you don't need to mince words with me, Phil replied, a worried smile breaking across his bristly face.


Yes, sir, Zel said, taking a deep breath. We couldn't find the key ingredient.



We looked everywhere we could think of. We even managed to get our hands on some ancient books from libraries buried for centuries. Still, there was little mention of the root, and no clues as to where we might find it. The plant is most likely extinct, which is why none of us have ever heard of it before.


Can't you cast the spell without the root?


We can cast part of it. However, without the link between her and her astral form weakened, it would mostly likely destroy her.


Well, why don't we try that?


Zelgadis crossed his arms over his chest and he stared at the carpet. The chances of us not killing her are as great as the likelihood that she'll pull out of this on her own. What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that it's a choice between a peaceful death and an extremely painful one.


Phil was silent for a few moments, then nodded slowly. I see, he muttered.


I refuse to hurt her, Zel said, meeting Phil's gaze.


The Prince smiled sadly, tears welling up in his eyes. Of course not. None of us would.


I'm sorry.


So am I, my boy, so am I, Phil said, and sank down in his chair, putting his face in a large hand as his shoulders began to shake.


Zel used every ounce of discipline he had towards not following Phil's lead, but he had trained himself not to feel so thoroughly that it wasn't as impossible as he would have thought it would be. We can be with her, at least. I mean, I would like to be there, until the end.


Yes, absolutely, Phil murmured. She would want you near. She would like all of you near. I know that she would appreciate your efforts.


I'll be going back to her now, then, Zel said, backing out of the room.


Do that. I'll join you in a bit.


Zel bowed and shut the door behind him. Taking a deep breath he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and turning his face to the ceiling. He didn't know what was worse- letting Amelia down, or knowing that she would forgive him for failing. Deciding to push such thoughts from his mind, he started back down the hall to her suite. At least he could do his best to make her comfortable during her last hours.
By mid-afternoon everyone was present, or everyone that mattered, in his opinion. He noticed Lina's gaze checking the shadows every so often, and he wondered if she was searching for Xellos. They hadn't seen the Monster since the previous day, and as far as Zelgadis was concerned, that was a good thing. She looks bad, Gourry said, bringing him out of his thoughts.


She hasn't eaten in at least a week, Lina snapped. Of course she looks bad!


How sensitive of both of you, Zel growled in return.


Phil, sitting across the bed and holding his daughter's hand, raised his eyebrows. Now, now. She wouldn't want you to start fighting.


I agree, said a voice from the corner of the room, the tone making Zel's blood run cold. So the trickster priest was making an appearance at last.


Zelgadis hissed, not turning around.


Oh my, Xellos breathed, coming near the bedside. She really has deteriorated.


We've been over this, Zelgadis muttered angrily.


I apologize, Xellos said, putting the back of his gloved hand to Amelia's forehead.


Apologies cost nothing to something like you.


Don't blame me for your failure, Xellos replied with a raised eyebrow.


That's enough, Lina interrupted. I don't think Amelia would want to see you fight, even taking into consideration her opinion of Monsters.


Do you think she would mind me being here? Xellos asked, putting a finger to his cheek.


Lina answered. I don't think so.


I mind, Zelgadis mumbled under his breath.


No one asked you, Lina snapped.


Xellos sighed. Oh dear, this is just getting worse, isn't it? he said mildly. It really is a shame you couldn't find the root's location. Mister Zelgadis, do you recall what it looked like in the Clair Bible images?


Zel scowled and glared at Xellos out of the corner of his eye. Of course. I can recall every detail.


Well, why don't you describe it to me?


It was a small root, only a few inches long. I guess the plant was small too, but didn't have any real use. Anyway, the root had one thick branch with two smaller, thinner branches coming out of the top. Part of the thick branch curled back upwards, which is why the plant is so rare, I gather. Not very many of the species actually survived that root configuration.


Xellos nodded, a hand on his hip. All right. Go on. What color was the outside?


Zelgadis frowned and tried to concentrate. Well, the outside was sort of a mustard color, but the inside was bright blue.


Did it have a particular odor?


It was a vision, not a complete experience! Zelgadis snapped.


The books said it would have smelled sort of like cloves, Lina offered.


Xellos said, tilting his head to the side, apparently lost in thought. Suddenly he reached into the leather satchel he always carried at his hip and whipped something out, holding it only a fraction of an inch from Zelgadis' face. Did it look like this?


Zelgadis pulled his head back and snatched the thing from Xellos' hand. His eyes widened in amazement. Where the hell did you get this? he exclaimed. This is it!!


Xellos waved a hand. Oh, it was just something I had lying around the house. I picked it up on my way here.


You had this thing all along! Zelgadis accused, but Lina was one step ahead of him, already wrestling Xellos to the floor.


So now we can cure her? Gourry asked, stepping over the Monster-wrangling Lina and incapacitated trickster priest. He peered at the root and gave it a suspicious tap.


Zelgadis breathed, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks. This is a tiny root, so we'll have to be extra careful, and it seems to be really old and dry. Still, it's worth a shot!


Then let's do it, dammit! Lina proclaimed, sitting atop Xellos, who was facedown on the carpet.


Master Zelgadis? Phil said softly, eyes brimming with unshed tears.


Yes, Prince Phil? Zel asked, clutching the root tightly.


Please save my daughter. I can't bear to lose another.


I swear it, Zel said, standing abruptly. Nothing will stop me now.