Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Nope, not me.
A/N: This is the Wednesday chapter.
There is a quote from King Lear in this chapter. I don't own that, but Shakespeare's dead, so I don't think he's going to sue me.
This chapter: Severus broods, Regina makes a cameo and Helena is sweet.
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Severus sat, staring at the beautiful mixture he had made. It had not taken him long, but it seemed… so inestimable. So wondrous. So beautiful.
Regina would have been proud. Diana's earlier words echoed in his head.
He looked down to where the three bracelets encircled his wrist. Respect, friendship and love, he thought.
One to spin, one to weave, one to cut.
He sighed. It had been Regina who had told him the tale of the Moerae.
"In the Great Carding Room they sit," she had said, "one spinning, one weaving, one cutting. Thus it is that they cut short or weave longer the threads of life that keep us all alive. But it is the Lady Arachne who dictates what is that they weave."
"So we are all just… threads on a tapestry?" he had asked her dubiously.
She had smiled. "The most beautiful tapestry that has ever been woven."
"Oh, Regina," he said aloud. "Why was your thread cut?"
He pondered that question. Why?
Why should she, who was worthy, die before all those unworthy? Why is it that her thread, a thread like unto cloth of gold, was cut, when threads like the Dark Lord's are still woven?
Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life, and thou have no breath at all?
Severus smiled his bitter smile. Shakespeare was right. It was unjust.
But still the question remained. Why? Why take her, when so many more deserved to die?
Such a beautiful thread, cut short so soon. So soon.
"Oh, my Regina," he moaned, "come back to me. Come back."
"Severus?"
*
I must be dreaming, Severus thought dazedly. Sweet mother of Merlin, it must be a dream!
"Are - are you an angel?" he asked haltingly.
She was so bright, and shining, her already radiant beauty surrounded by a brilliant corona of light. Oh lady, he thought, lady, lady, lady.
"No," she answered. "Is this - the innermost sanctum?"
"Yes," he replied.
"What are doing here?"
"Making a potion," he answered. "Reg - Regina, is that you?"
She smiled. "Yes."
In two strides he was at her side. "Oh Regina," he whispered. "I have missed you."
"I am not physically here, Severus," she told him. "This is a projection of my spirit, if you like."
"Are you -"
"No, I am not dead," she answered.
"Where are you?" he asked. "Tell me where you are, and I swear I'll come and find you."
"I am behind the veil," she answered. "Do not follow."
Behind the veil…
…with him.
"Is Black with you?" he asked coldly.
"Yes," she answered. "And we will find a way out."
Severus felt jealousy, green and bitter, claw through his soul. Even in death, Black gets the girl, he thought.
"Why are you here?" he asked coldly.
"I am preparing the way," she answered.
"For what?"
"For us all to come home," she whispered. Her form was fading.
Jealousy was forgotten in his aching need to talk more with her. "Regina - don't go! Don't leave me! Regina -"
"Goodbye, Severus," she said, and with a blinding flash of light, she was gone.
"- I love you," he finished, and sank to the ground, head in his hands.
Oh lady, lady, lady.
*
The potion was still smoking, silver and gold dancing in a spiral towards heaven, but Severus was oblivious to its beauty now.
Regina, he thought. Oh lady, lady, lady.
The jealousy was coming back full force now. It was like a disease within him, rotting his soul from the inside out.
The good guy always gets the girl Severus, a snide little voice in his mind told him, and you are definitely not the good guy.
He knew that was true enough. Compared to Sirius Black, he could never be anything but the bad guy. Sirius was the handsome man with music in his fingers and in his soul, wrongfully imprisoned, wronged by many, who had fought back from his prison to be with his godson… only to die a terrible - but heroic - death.
But he? What was Severus?
I am the greasy-haired git, he thought, who bullies and abuses his students just like his father abused him. Who hates Black's godson, even though he has done nothing to deserve it, because we all know that the sins of the father are not the sins of the son. I will always be the villain. I will always be the one of dubious alliance, the one that everyone doubts. I will always be in the shadows.
And what choice was she to make? She, perfect, beautiful, lovely, serene, tragic Regina? She who was loved by three men more than life itself?
What woman would ever choose Severus Snape?
And now, as always, Black has won, he thought bitterly. Even in death, he haunts me, because he got the girl.
All the wars of our youth, and finally, resolution. Black wins. I - I get nothing.
The heroine never falls in love with the bad guy. It doesn't work like that.
"Severus."
The voice was insistent, but he resisted.
"Severus."
Inexorable, but he was strong.
"Severus."
Three times is magic.
One to spin, one to weave, one to cut.
Helena took his hand and drew him to his feet. "I know she was here," she told him softly.
"She does not love me," he answered, and the tears came at last.
"Severus."
"Yes?"
"Yes."
Severus's brow furrowed. "What?"
"Yes, she does love you," Helena told him, leading him to a stone bench and sitting him down.
"But -"
"There is more love in her heart than can be given to one person," Helena told him gently. "And she came here for a reason. It was not because this is the home of the goddess. She came here because of you."
"Because - of me?"
"Only one that loves her could have seen her," Helena told him. She laid a hand on his brow. "You are absolved, Severus."
Perhaps I am not the bad guy after all, Severus thought, and he smiled.
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