Disclaimer: Same as the disclaimer from the other three chapters. I don't
own any characters from the Lupin III series, or any songs I might quote,
or pop culture elements I might mention, and...who the hell cares anyway,
'cause I ain't gettin' paid.
*Author's Note: You reviewers rock! Sorry 'bout the delays.
Chapter 4: Diamonds and Guns
"In the dice game of life/ who gets the last roll?/ The one in the suit?/ The one with the sack?/ The man that hides behind/ his gun and his badge?"
--The Transplants, "Diamonds and Guns (It's a Wicked World We Live In)"
"Ugh," Fujiko groaned as the dampness seeped into her shoes. "Ankle-deep in sewer muck for the past quarter of a mile. Remind me again why I keep working with you, Lupin?" Lupin spun around, taking Fujiko into his arms and flashing a million-dollar grin.
"My handsome face and tremendous, um, wit? Ow!" He winced as Fujiko's knee came dangerously close to hitting him right in the, um, "wit." She pushed him off and smoothed her rumpled black jumpsuit.
"Pig," she muttered, scanning their surroundings with her flashlight. "We're almost there." She blinked the light twice, and in the distant tunnels, another light responded in kind. "Look, there are Goemon and Jigen."
Moments later, the foursome met up at a rusted-out doorway far beneath the manicured opulence of Rodeo Drive.
"Everything aces with the car, guys?" Lupin asked by way of a greeting.
"We parked it right where you said to park it," Jigen said. "Left the sewer cover off, though. It woulda been too heavy if we were in a hurry..."
"...Which we will be," Lupin added, "if we have to use the emergency getaway car."
"Right," Jigen nodded. "Don't worry, though. We parked the car over the manhole, so it won't draw attention."
"Lucky thing we're all pretty thin," Fujiko put in. "Or the cops would have us for sure, when we got stuck under the car."
"Yeah, well just suck it in, sister, and you'll squeeze out OK," Jigen retorted. Fujiko brought her flashlight down on the gunman's head. "Ow! Bitch."
"Jerk!"
Goemon turned to Lupin, who was watching the tableau half-amusedly and half- impatiently. "It's shameless, the way they flirt."
"Kids, kids," Lupin said, hands raised in a peacemaking gesture, "you can finish this at recess. But first," he jerked one thumb toward the door, "who's going to bring Teacher that big, shiny, insanely expensive apple they've got in there?" Fujiko assumed an angelic expression, while Jigen scowled at her from beneath his hat brim. "That's my little teacher's pet," Lupin said, patting Fujiko's head.
"You sure this is the right door, Lupin?" Jigen asked. "You'd think it would be marked." Goemon shone his flashlight on the floor. At the bottom of the door lay a small placard, which had apparently fallen from the wall some time beforehand. The sign read "Access Tunnels--Rodeo." Jigen sighed.
"All right, all right, no more skepticism out of me. I promise."
"I'm holding you to that promise indefinitely, Jigen," Lupin chuckled. "All right Goemon, do that lovely thing you do." Swiftly and silently as a breath, Zantetsu flashed in the dark sewers; the door fell to pieces an instant later. Inside the tunnel, a few paces away, the thieves found themselves standing before a slightly newer door, whose faded stenciled label read "Winston--Utilities."
"A simple padlock?" Jigen exclaimed. "They really don't expect anyone to know about this entrance, do they?" Goemon made a single, imperceptible cut in the lock, so that it appeared to have been opened normally.
"Beautiful," Lupin said, shaking his head admiringly. He turned to Fujiko. "All right, my dear, it's all yours." He gestured towards the ventilation shaft, partially obscured by a water heater and furnace.
Fujiko swiftly unscrewed the vent's cover, and placed it behind the furnace. With a *very* eager boost from Lupin, she climbed into the opening and began crawling upward to the store.
"'Suck it in, sister,' indeed." she growled. "My ass." Her voice carried to the basement, where Jigen could not resist one last retort. He put his face to the vent and called out,
"That's exactly what I was thinking of, babe." From the vent came an indignant squeal. Lupin pulled Jigen away and smacked him on the head.
"Don't worry baby," he said, "I already hit him for ya."
"Hmph!" Fujiko crawled on from vent to vent, until she found herself looking down onto a familiar diamond-and-platinum corsage. She was directly above the House of Winston's back display room. Little red lights blinked in the darkness, indicating the motion sensors she'd spent the afternoon sabotaging.
"All right, guys, I'm here. Be just a moment." She unfastened the vent cover and slowly pulled it into the ceiling with her. She pulled out the remote device Jigen had given her and turned the dial to the line he'd drawn in black marker. A high-pitched whine filled her ears, and she saw the little red lights blink once, then go out. "Now for a quick test," she said to herself. She reached into her pocket and brought out a small, phosphorescent-green rubber ball, which she bounced carefully off of the room's furthest wall. Fujiko's eyes followed its glow as it bounced past each sensor, without triggering a single one. Satisfied, she swung herself out of the vent and onto the shop floor.
Well, she thought to herself. If I was going to play Lupin for a sucker, now would be the time.
Fujiko sighed. She'd made a halfhearted resolution, after that desperate siege at the German fortress, to be less underhanded with Lupin. After all, when the bombs began to hit, she'd requested that he kill her before the explosions could; and he *had* agreed, even though it broke his heart. Of course, there'd been a couple of slips since then, but she really was trying. And besides, she thought grudgingly, he still had the tape for the voice-recognition lock.
Resigned, she made her way to the basement door, picked the lock, and let the boys in.
"WELcome to the House of WINston," she gushed with a smirk, imitating the salesman from that afternoon. Jigen looked around at the jewelry cases and let out a low whistle.
"Damn. Not bad for a bunch of squashed carbon molecules." Fujiko rolled her eyes.
"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend," she teased. "'Squashed carbon molecules'--how romantic." She waited for a comeback, but Jigen didn't reply. He simply grunted and stalked over to the vault door.
Lupin was already at the doorway, examining the voice-recognition lock's keypad. While watching Winston dial the code to activate the lock earlier that day, he'd had to stay partially concealed by shelves and people. As a result, he'd missed the third number in the sequence. But no matter.
"Hey Fuji-cakes," he called over his shoulder. "You got a compact somewhere in that jumpsuit of yours?" Jigen and Goemon rolled their eyes.
"Of course."
"Women," Jigen said with a snort. Goemon simply shrugged, suppressing a chuckle.
"Lay off her, guys," Lupin said. "We're lucky she has it...and that I'm a genius. Lemme borrow it a second, Fujiko." Now Goemon did chuckle.
"My, Lupin, aren't we becoming vain in our old age?"
"My oh my, Goemon made a joke," Lupin shot back. "Or at least he tried." Lupin clicked open Fujiko's powder compact and pulled out the brush. He blew a fine layer of powder over the keypad, then brushed off the excess until fingerprints showed up on five of the keys. "Go on, say it."
Goemon sighed. "Fine, 'you're a genius.' Happy?"
"Positively tickled pink. Now let's *really* get this show on the road." All four pulled on black leather gloves and gathered around the door. Lupin dialed the activation code, while Jigen positioned a handheld tape recorder just inches from the speaker. Once again, a thin mechanical voice came over the speakers.
"Please establish identity." Jigen pressed the recorder's play button-- softly, so that the click would not register in the computer.
"Harry Winston," the recorder said.
"Please give the password."
"Diamonds are a girl's best friend." There was a pause, in which nobody so much as breathed, before the computerized voice replied,
"Voice patterns verified. Enter." A collective sigh of relief went through the foursome, drowned out by the metallic clack of the door lock popping open.
They stood for a moment, hands on satisfied hips, and looked at the four black carts arranged neatly in the center of the vaults.
"Well what do you know," Lupin crowed. "Pretty maids all in a row...and right in front! We didn't even need to go looking for them!"
"I gotta hand it to you, Lupin," Jigen said appreciatively, "you can be a major fuck-up, but sometimes you really run a good show."
"I'm pretty sure there was a compliment buried in there somewhere, Jigen, so thank you." Lupin bowed neatly to his cohorts, and then turned to Goemon. "This really is your kinda job, isn't it? Won't you do the honors?"
Goemon nodded and approached the carts. Lupin watched as the samurai sliced their lids open with surgical precision; after the carts were cleaned out, they would be able to replace the lids as though nothing had been disturbed. With any luck, this would delay the discovery of the theft by as much as an hour. Every spare minute helps, Lupin reminded himself when he began to grow impatient. You never know when Pops could show up to slow us down.
Finally the job was done. Lupin rubbed his hands together greedily, and walked over to the second cart--the one with the most secure lid, and therefore the one most likely to contain the Star. He lifted the lid with a flourish of his hand.
"Lady and gentlemen," he sang out, "may I present to you the favorite plaything of Ottoman royalty: the Star of...wha??"
It was empty. They stared, mouths agape, at the red velvet lining, which still bore the diamond's imprint in its folds.
"Oh crap, oh Jeez oh mommy!"
"It is as though it vanished only a moment ago," Goemon marveled.
"Lupin," Jigen growled, "if this is some kinda joke, it ain't funny." He shot Fujiko a dirty look, more out of long habit than anything else.
"Don't you look at me like that, Daisuke Jigen. I had nothing to do with this and you know it!" She turned to the next case and removed the lid. "Empty. Lupin," she said in an uneasy voice, "I really don't like the looks of this. I mean, if these jewels *just* vanished...Lupin?" Lupin remained staring at the space where the Star of the East ought to have been.
"She's right. Whoever did this may still be here," Goemon put in. He and Jigen exchanged glances; the gunman held up two fingers and pointed Fujiko and Goemon toward the back rooms of the vaults. Goemon nodded, and moved silently to investigate, Fujiko in tow. Jigen pulled his Magnum from its holster and walked slowly back into the display salons.
Lupin remained with the empty cases, running his hands distractedly through his thick black hair until it stood on end. What did I miss? What on Earth did I possibly miss, his mind raged at him. He opened a third cart, throwing the lid to the ground in frustration as he found it, too, was empty.
"SonofaBITCH," he roared, ripping the cover off the fourth and final cart. "Damn! Who the hell DID..." He fell silent, a baffled look on his face. The fourth cover dropped unnoticed from his hand, clattering loudly on the vault's cement floor.
The clatter was answered by a volley of gunfire. The reports echoed through the darkened vaults, bringing Jigen's raised voice along with them.
"Holy friggin' crap, Lupin, we've got company!"
Goemon and Fujiko raced from the vaults toward the noise. "Come on, Lupin!" Fujiko shouted as they passed him on their way to the display rooms. Lupin replied, with a distracted wave of his hand,
"Go on, help Jigen, I'll be right there."
"Oh, you are so infuriating!" Fujiko hollered without breaking her stride. She followed Goemon through the vacant second salon. As they reached the doorway to the front of the store, however, Goemon stopped short and she ran into him from behind; the impact knocked the wind out of her.
"GET DOWN!" Jigen's voice came through the doorway, and before she knew what was happening Fujiko found herself on the floor. Goemon lay on top of her, deflecting a spray of bullets with his sword.
"Are you hit?" He asked her, wincing as another bullet ricocheted off Zantetsu's hilt with a bang.
"I-- don't think so. No."
"Good," Goemon replied. "Start crawling. Stay behind the counters. I'll follow you, and cover you as best I can." She obeyed, kneeling occasionally to fire a shot over the counters in response to the frequent gunfire. She heard a strangled cry, followed by a string of curses, and knew one of her shots had hit home.
"Take that, you bastards!"
They found Jigen tucked behind one of the register counters, reloading his gun. "Check out our new buddies," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the latest shots. Fujiko peered around the corner of the counter and saw four men in black, guns raised. One of them clutched at his right side--the one she'd hit a moment before. Another cradled a grey velvet bag in the crook of his left arm.
"The diamonds!" Fujiko gasped. The men fired at her voice, taking chunks of wood and glass out of the counter. So much for Lupin's minimal-damage break- in, she thought.
"Yeah," Jigen said over the gunfire. "Guess this wasn't an original idea."
"We've got to stop them!"
"Got any idea how we might do that?"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" One of the men heard her, and cackled.
"Better think fast, gorgeous!" Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko put their heads around the corner just in time to see the man holding the diamonds walk to the door, smash the lock--and trigger the alarm.
"Shit!" Jigen shouted. "That's dirty pool, you sons of bitches!" He stood and aimed his gun at their retreating forms.
"Aw," came a voice from the doorway. "Now you've really hurt our feelings." The man at the door fired twice, and Jigen staggered backwards. He sank against the wall with a groan, leaving a thin streak of blood behind on the paint.
"Jigen!" Goemon and Fujiko shouted at once, rushing to catch the gunman as he fell.
"This is a friggin' fiasco, this job," he growled as they reached his side. "S'ok," he gasped when he saw Goemon's concerned look. "It's only the shoulder...aah! *Right* shoulder! Shit! Sorry, guys." Goemon shifted Jigen's position and opened his jacket, revealing two splotches of deep red spreading across his chest.
"It is not fatal," he said gravely. "The bullets seem to have gone straight through. But that alarm gives us five minutes. You've got to get up, Jigen. Can you?"
"Yeah," Jigen groaned, as sweat began to bead on his forehead.
"Fujiko, help him walk." She took Jigen's left elbow and hooked it over her neck, supporting the lanky gunman as they made their way into the basement. Goemon opened the door into the access tunnels, and began replacing the lock.
"Goemon!" Fujiko gasped in sudden realization. "Where's Lupin?"
"Oh, no!" Goemon said, looking around quickly. "He must still be in the back! Go--get Jigen to the emergency car. I'll be along with Lupin shortly."
The samurai raced back through the basement, up the stairs, and into the back room, while the alarms rang discordantly in his ears. Three minutes left now, he thought, if that. He found Lupin still standing, shoulders hunched, over the fourth cart.
"Lupin," he shouted. "Don't be a fool! We have no time to mourn these diamonds...we must transcend their loss."
"Goemon," Lupin replied softly. "Look." The samurai shook his head. The boy has finally lost his wits, he thought, willing to risk capture over a few empty jewel cases. He walked over to his old friend and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Lupin," he said gently. "This heist is over, it fell through. Jigen has been wounded, and we have only two minutes to meet them at the emergency car. We must..." Lupin cut him off.
"Goemon, look," he repeated, pointing downward at the cart in front of them. Goemon followed Lupin's finger and gasped. "We're not the only ones who got royally screwed on this caper."
The case had been hollowed out, its drawers removed, leaving a large open space within. A large burlap sack was bundled awkwardly into the space. Goemon had gasped when he'd realized that the bundle was actually an unconscious young woman, bruised, bound and gagged.
"We can't just leave her here, Goemon! She'll be arrested, and besides, she's injured!"
"If we *stay* here, Lupin, we'll all be arrested! We have no time!"
"We've got to bring her with us."
Goemon had no desire to waste their dwindling time voicing his concerns. He pulled out Zantetsu--noting with discomfort that the Shadow of Death had begun to creep up from the hilt--and sliced the side off the cart. Lupin gathered the unconscious girl into his arms, burlap and all, and gave Goemon a look of gratitude.
"Let's blow this popstand, then," he said. The two men bolted downstairs into the darkness of the sewers, as the sound of sirens grew louder behind them.
**************************************************************************** *********
Eight blocks away, Fujiko Mine was pacing back and forth in the sewers, willing herself not to panic. Far above her, parked on a mostly-deserted side street, sat the soft-top Cadillac Lupin had chosen as a second getaway car. She hated to admit it, but she feared the worst; the five-minute police response time had just passed, with no sign of Lupin or Goemon.
"Damn you, Lupin! What a time to snap," she said harshly. Ordinarily, under such circumstances, she would have climbed up to the car and driven away; if they hadn't shown up on time, that would have been their problem. As she was fuming, however, a groan from the floor reminded her of why she couldn't bail, and instantly made her regret her harsh words.
She looked down to where Jigen had propped himself up against a dry spot on the wall. Blood had soaked all the way through both his shirt and his coat; it dripped down his sleeve and onto the Magnum still clutched in his right hand. She knelt beside him and lifted the fedora from his head. His face had gone white, and his whole body shook almost imperceptibly. He was going, she realized, into shock--which was bad; and he had blacked out-- which was worse, because she was not strong enough to lift him out of the sewers. And anyhow, the car had been parked over the manhole; she'd moved it in order to get him out of the sewers, but now she could not carry him that far. She needed Lupin and Goemon's help--and she didn't think it was on its way.
"Jigen," she murmured insistently. "Jigen, you've got to wake up. Can you hear me, Daisuke?" He was non-responsive, and she let out a bitter curse. Despite all the barbs they exchanged, she really was somewhat fond of the dour gunman. She loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt collar, then brushed his long hair back from his face. It was an awkward gesture for Fujiko--tenderness was not her strong suit. But it worked.
Jigen's eyes fluttered open briefly. He felt his brain fighting its way through a heavy, dark fog, and it was a minute before he could reply.
"Fujiko," he croaked, wincing at the effort of speech. "Where's that lunkhead?"
"Jigen!" She smiled. "I don't know what happened to Lupin and Goemon. They never...they're not here yet. But Jigen, I've got to get you out to the car, and you've got to help me. I can get you up this ladder, if you can grab on to the rungs as we go." He nodded weakly, and let her hook his left arm over her shoulder once again. They braced themselves against the wall.
"Okay," Fujiko said. "On the count of three, push yourself up with your legs. One," Jigen winced. "Two." She felt his grip tighten. "Three!" With a roar, Jigen pushed himself to a standing position, leaning heavily against her.
"This is ridiculous," he panted. "Only shot in the fucking shoulder...must be getting old."
"You've lost a lot of blood, Jigen. It's no minor flesh wound." She settled the fedora back on his head.
"Fujiko, I'm gonna take back those rotten things I've said about you." The gunman smirked under his hat brim. "Most of 'em, anyway."
"It's a lucky thing you're already injured," she said, "or I would have socked you for that one." Jigen managed a weak grin.
"Friggin' Lupin," he muttered as he began reaching for the ladder. "Maybe he and Goemon could only make it to the closer car...we could--shit!" Gripping the rungs sent fresh waves of pain knifing through his torso, and he fell back against Fujiko.
"Maybe you should just sit back down...I'll go get help..." Jigen waved her off.
"Help? From who? Forget it. Let's just do this..." he gritted his teeth and grabbed hold of the rungs again. And promptly saw the world go black and red around him. Pain roared in his ears, until it was replaced by silence. It was all Fujiko could do to catch him before his head struck the concrete floor.
"Oh, boy," she sighed. "I think we really are in for it, this time."
The sound of feet splashing in the muck echoed through the darkened tunnels. Fujiko flattened herself against the wall, pistol raised, and held her breath. It could be the police or Zenigata just as easily as...
"Oh Jeez oh crap, there are *rats* down here!"
"Lupin!" Relieved, Fujiko dropped the pistol to her side.
"Fuji-cakes! You waited for us!" Lupin called back softly. "Aw, thanks sweetheart!" Lupin and Goemon rounded the corner and threw themselves, panting, against the wall next to her. The beam of her flashlight settled on Lupin, and the burlap sack bundled in his arms.
"What on earth..." Fujiko said with a gasp. "Did you just steal the rest of the store? What is that?" She pulled back a corner of the burlap. "Hey!" Fujiko squealed. "Who the hell is *she*?"
"Shh!" Lupin put a finger to her lips. "I dunno, but I figure we probably wanna find out before the cops do. I'll explain it all later," he whispered. Goemon poked his head back around toward the tunnels, to see that they weren't followed. All three breathed a little easier after a moment passed in perfect quiet.
"Excellent," Goemon said, breaking the silence. "They've probably staked out our other car." He turned to Fujiko. "Why are you still down here? Have they arrived at this car as well?" She pointed her flashlight at the floor near the ladder, where the beam landed on Jigen's crumpled form.
"Holy crap," Lupin said under his breath. He handed the unconscious girl over to Goemon, and knelt down beside Jigen. "Aw hell, buddy, I'm sorry. Aw, Jeez." Goemon, who was at the top of the ladder with the girl over his shoulder, peered out of the manhole.
"Lupin, Fujiko," he called out. "There are new sirens in the distance. I think we had better keep moving." Goemon finished climbing out of the sewers and opened the car. He pulled the burlap sack off the girl and set her gently in the back, her head leaning against the window. He took his seat beside her and waited, pressing the end of his robe against her wounded forehead to stop the bleeding.
Fujiko raced up the ladder and sat at the top, waiting for Lupin to maneuver Jigen up the rungs. When he reached her, she grasped Jigen under the arms and hoisted him gently upward, while Lupin gave him a final push from below. All three tumbled clumsily into the street; Fujiko stood and dusted herself off, while Lupin picked Jigen up and carried him to the car. He settled Jigen in the front passenger seat and tilted the seat back, then squeezed into the back with Goemon and the girl. Fujiko hopped into the driver's seat and gunned the engine. Lupin sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Hang a left at the next light, Fuji-cakes," he said. "Let's head for the hills."
**************************************************************************** *********
Rodeo Drive was a snarl of lights, sirens, and squad cars. A small army of policemen and detectives filled the display salons and vault at Harry Winston, taking notes and fingerprints and pictures. They pointed at the bullet holes in the front room, at the disabled motion sensors, at the empty jewel cases, and drew all the wrong conclusions.
Inspector Zenigata stood in the vault, oblivious to the flashbulbs and raised voices around him. He'd seen the disabled motion sensors, but he didn't bother to tell the lieutenant in charge that the bugs were a Lupin specialty. He'd seen the smashed front lock, and known that Lupin didn't have the stones. But now Zenigata stood quietly, looking at the demolished fourth jewel case. Lupin might not have the Star of the East, but he had something else. Someone else, to be precise. Good, thought the Inspector, rubbing his hands together. She's in.
A piece of paper flapping underneath one of the carts caught his eye. He picked it up and unfolded it, to find familiar handwriting. Scrawled in Japanese on a receipt for a $50,000 tennis bracelet was the following:
Dear old Pops: Sorry I didn't tell you about this one in advance, but I figure you'll get wind of it somehow. Doesn't matter, though... For once I'm just as empty-handed as you, Think you'll find the diamonds before I do? --Lupin III.
"Damn you, Lupin," Zenigata growled as he pocketed the note, but he was smiling.
*Author's Note: You reviewers rock! Sorry 'bout the delays.
Chapter 4: Diamonds and Guns
"In the dice game of life/ who gets the last roll?/ The one in the suit?/ The one with the sack?/ The man that hides behind/ his gun and his badge?"
--The Transplants, "Diamonds and Guns (It's a Wicked World We Live In)"
"Ugh," Fujiko groaned as the dampness seeped into her shoes. "Ankle-deep in sewer muck for the past quarter of a mile. Remind me again why I keep working with you, Lupin?" Lupin spun around, taking Fujiko into his arms and flashing a million-dollar grin.
"My handsome face and tremendous, um, wit? Ow!" He winced as Fujiko's knee came dangerously close to hitting him right in the, um, "wit." She pushed him off and smoothed her rumpled black jumpsuit.
"Pig," she muttered, scanning their surroundings with her flashlight. "We're almost there." She blinked the light twice, and in the distant tunnels, another light responded in kind. "Look, there are Goemon and Jigen."
Moments later, the foursome met up at a rusted-out doorway far beneath the manicured opulence of Rodeo Drive.
"Everything aces with the car, guys?" Lupin asked by way of a greeting.
"We parked it right where you said to park it," Jigen said. "Left the sewer cover off, though. It woulda been too heavy if we were in a hurry..."
"...Which we will be," Lupin added, "if we have to use the emergency getaway car."
"Right," Jigen nodded. "Don't worry, though. We parked the car over the manhole, so it won't draw attention."
"Lucky thing we're all pretty thin," Fujiko put in. "Or the cops would have us for sure, when we got stuck under the car."
"Yeah, well just suck it in, sister, and you'll squeeze out OK," Jigen retorted. Fujiko brought her flashlight down on the gunman's head. "Ow! Bitch."
"Jerk!"
Goemon turned to Lupin, who was watching the tableau half-amusedly and half- impatiently. "It's shameless, the way they flirt."
"Kids, kids," Lupin said, hands raised in a peacemaking gesture, "you can finish this at recess. But first," he jerked one thumb toward the door, "who's going to bring Teacher that big, shiny, insanely expensive apple they've got in there?" Fujiko assumed an angelic expression, while Jigen scowled at her from beneath his hat brim. "That's my little teacher's pet," Lupin said, patting Fujiko's head.
"You sure this is the right door, Lupin?" Jigen asked. "You'd think it would be marked." Goemon shone his flashlight on the floor. At the bottom of the door lay a small placard, which had apparently fallen from the wall some time beforehand. The sign read "Access Tunnels--Rodeo." Jigen sighed.
"All right, all right, no more skepticism out of me. I promise."
"I'm holding you to that promise indefinitely, Jigen," Lupin chuckled. "All right Goemon, do that lovely thing you do." Swiftly and silently as a breath, Zantetsu flashed in the dark sewers; the door fell to pieces an instant later. Inside the tunnel, a few paces away, the thieves found themselves standing before a slightly newer door, whose faded stenciled label read "Winston--Utilities."
"A simple padlock?" Jigen exclaimed. "They really don't expect anyone to know about this entrance, do they?" Goemon made a single, imperceptible cut in the lock, so that it appeared to have been opened normally.
"Beautiful," Lupin said, shaking his head admiringly. He turned to Fujiko. "All right, my dear, it's all yours." He gestured towards the ventilation shaft, partially obscured by a water heater and furnace.
Fujiko swiftly unscrewed the vent's cover, and placed it behind the furnace. With a *very* eager boost from Lupin, she climbed into the opening and began crawling upward to the store.
"'Suck it in, sister,' indeed." she growled. "My ass." Her voice carried to the basement, where Jigen could not resist one last retort. He put his face to the vent and called out,
"That's exactly what I was thinking of, babe." From the vent came an indignant squeal. Lupin pulled Jigen away and smacked him on the head.
"Don't worry baby," he said, "I already hit him for ya."
"Hmph!" Fujiko crawled on from vent to vent, until she found herself looking down onto a familiar diamond-and-platinum corsage. She was directly above the House of Winston's back display room. Little red lights blinked in the darkness, indicating the motion sensors she'd spent the afternoon sabotaging.
"All right, guys, I'm here. Be just a moment." She unfastened the vent cover and slowly pulled it into the ceiling with her. She pulled out the remote device Jigen had given her and turned the dial to the line he'd drawn in black marker. A high-pitched whine filled her ears, and she saw the little red lights blink once, then go out. "Now for a quick test," she said to herself. She reached into her pocket and brought out a small, phosphorescent-green rubber ball, which she bounced carefully off of the room's furthest wall. Fujiko's eyes followed its glow as it bounced past each sensor, without triggering a single one. Satisfied, she swung herself out of the vent and onto the shop floor.
Well, she thought to herself. If I was going to play Lupin for a sucker, now would be the time.
Fujiko sighed. She'd made a halfhearted resolution, after that desperate siege at the German fortress, to be less underhanded with Lupin. After all, when the bombs began to hit, she'd requested that he kill her before the explosions could; and he *had* agreed, even though it broke his heart. Of course, there'd been a couple of slips since then, but she really was trying. And besides, she thought grudgingly, he still had the tape for the voice-recognition lock.
Resigned, she made her way to the basement door, picked the lock, and let the boys in.
"WELcome to the House of WINston," she gushed with a smirk, imitating the salesman from that afternoon. Jigen looked around at the jewelry cases and let out a low whistle.
"Damn. Not bad for a bunch of squashed carbon molecules." Fujiko rolled her eyes.
"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend," she teased. "'Squashed carbon molecules'--how romantic." She waited for a comeback, but Jigen didn't reply. He simply grunted and stalked over to the vault door.
Lupin was already at the doorway, examining the voice-recognition lock's keypad. While watching Winston dial the code to activate the lock earlier that day, he'd had to stay partially concealed by shelves and people. As a result, he'd missed the third number in the sequence. But no matter.
"Hey Fuji-cakes," he called over his shoulder. "You got a compact somewhere in that jumpsuit of yours?" Jigen and Goemon rolled their eyes.
"Of course."
"Women," Jigen said with a snort. Goemon simply shrugged, suppressing a chuckle.
"Lay off her, guys," Lupin said. "We're lucky she has it...and that I'm a genius. Lemme borrow it a second, Fujiko." Now Goemon did chuckle.
"My, Lupin, aren't we becoming vain in our old age?"
"My oh my, Goemon made a joke," Lupin shot back. "Or at least he tried." Lupin clicked open Fujiko's powder compact and pulled out the brush. He blew a fine layer of powder over the keypad, then brushed off the excess until fingerprints showed up on five of the keys. "Go on, say it."
Goemon sighed. "Fine, 'you're a genius.' Happy?"
"Positively tickled pink. Now let's *really* get this show on the road." All four pulled on black leather gloves and gathered around the door. Lupin dialed the activation code, while Jigen positioned a handheld tape recorder just inches from the speaker. Once again, a thin mechanical voice came over the speakers.
"Please establish identity." Jigen pressed the recorder's play button-- softly, so that the click would not register in the computer.
"Harry Winston," the recorder said.
"Please give the password."
"Diamonds are a girl's best friend." There was a pause, in which nobody so much as breathed, before the computerized voice replied,
"Voice patterns verified. Enter." A collective sigh of relief went through the foursome, drowned out by the metallic clack of the door lock popping open.
They stood for a moment, hands on satisfied hips, and looked at the four black carts arranged neatly in the center of the vaults.
"Well what do you know," Lupin crowed. "Pretty maids all in a row...and right in front! We didn't even need to go looking for them!"
"I gotta hand it to you, Lupin," Jigen said appreciatively, "you can be a major fuck-up, but sometimes you really run a good show."
"I'm pretty sure there was a compliment buried in there somewhere, Jigen, so thank you." Lupin bowed neatly to his cohorts, and then turned to Goemon. "This really is your kinda job, isn't it? Won't you do the honors?"
Goemon nodded and approached the carts. Lupin watched as the samurai sliced their lids open with surgical precision; after the carts were cleaned out, they would be able to replace the lids as though nothing had been disturbed. With any luck, this would delay the discovery of the theft by as much as an hour. Every spare minute helps, Lupin reminded himself when he began to grow impatient. You never know when Pops could show up to slow us down.
Finally the job was done. Lupin rubbed his hands together greedily, and walked over to the second cart--the one with the most secure lid, and therefore the one most likely to contain the Star. He lifted the lid with a flourish of his hand.
"Lady and gentlemen," he sang out, "may I present to you the favorite plaything of Ottoman royalty: the Star of...wha??"
It was empty. They stared, mouths agape, at the red velvet lining, which still bore the diamond's imprint in its folds.
"Oh crap, oh Jeez oh mommy!"
"It is as though it vanished only a moment ago," Goemon marveled.
"Lupin," Jigen growled, "if this is some kinda joke, it ain't funny." He shot Fujiko a dirty look, more out of long habit than anything else.
"Don't you look at me like that, Daisuke Jigen. I had nothing to do with this and you know it!" She turned to the next case and removed the lid. "Empty. Lupin," she said in an uneasy voice, "I really don't like the looks of this. I mean, if these jewels *just* vanished...Lupin?" Lupin remained staring at the space where the Star of the East ought to have been.
"She's right. Whoever did this may still be here," Goemon put in. He and Jigen exchanged glances; the gunman held up two fingers and pointed Fujiko and Goemon toward the back rooms of the vaults. Goemon nodded, and moved silently to investigate, Fujiko in tow. Jigen pulled his Magnum from its holster and walked slowly back into the display salons.
Lupin remained with the empty cases, running his hands distractedly through his thick black hair until it stood on end. What did I miss? What on Earth did I possibly miss, his mind raged at him. He opened a third cart, throwing the lid to the ground in frustration as he found it, too, was empty.
"SonofaBITCH," he roared, ripping the cover off the fourth and final cart. "Damn! Who the hell DID..." He fell silent, a baffled look on his face. The fourth cover dropped unnoticed from his hand, clattering loudly on the vault's cement floor.
The clatter was answered by a volley of gunfire. The reports echoed through the darkened vaults, bringing Jigen's raised voice along with them.
"Holy friggin' crap, Lupin, we've got company!"
Goemon and Fujiko raced from the vaults toward the noise. "Come on, Lupin!" Fujiko shouted as they passed him on their way to the display rooms. Lupin replied, with a distracted wave of his hand,
"Go on, help Jigen, I'll be right there."
"Oh, you are so infuriating!" Fujiko hollered without breaking her stride. She followed Goemon through the vacant second salon. As they reached the doorway to the front of the store, however, Goemon stopped short and she ran into him from behind; the impact knocked the wind out of her.
"GET DOWN!" Jigen's voice came through the doorway, and before she knew what was happening Fujiko found herself on the floor. Goemon lay on top of her, deflecting a spray of bullets with his sword.
"Are you hit?" He asked her, wincing as another bullet ricocheted off Zantetsu's hilt with a bang.
"I-- don't think so. No."
"Good," Goemon replied. "Start crawling. Stay behind the counters. I'll follow you, and cover you as best I can." She obeyed, kneeling occasionally to fire a shot over the counters in response to the frequent gunfire. She heard a strangled cry, followed by a string of curses, and knew one of her shots had hit home.
"Take that, you bastards!"
They found Jigen tucked behind one of the register counters, reloading his gun. "Check out our new buddies," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the latest shots. Fujiko peered around the corner of the counter and saw four men in black, guns raised. One of them clutched at his right side--the one she'd hit a moment before. Another cradled a grey velvet bag in the crook of his left arm.
"The diamonds!" Fujiko gasped. The men fired at her voice, taking chunks of wood and glass out of the counter. So much for Lupin's minimal-damage break- in, she thought.
"Yeah," Jigen said over the gunfire. "Guess this wasn't an original idea."
"We've got to stop them!"
"Got any idea how we might do that?"
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" One of the men heard her, and cackled.
"Better think fast, gorgeous!" Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko put their heads around the corner just in time to see the man holding the diamonds walk to the door, smash the lock--and trigger the alarm.
"Shit!" Jigen shouted. "That's dirty pool, you sons of bitches!" He stood and aimed his gun at their retreating forms.
"Aw," came a voice from the doorway. "Now you've really hurt our feelings." The man at the door fired twice, and Jigen staggered backwards. He sank against the wall with a groan, leaving a thin streak of blood behind on the paint.
"Jigen!" Goemon and Fujiko shouted at once, rushing to catch the gunman as he fell.
"This is a friggin' fiasco, this job," he growled as they reached his side. "S'ok," he gasped when he saw Goemon's concerned look. "It's only the shoulder...aah! *Right* shoulder! Shit! Sorry, guys." Goemon shifted Jigen's position and opened his jacket, revealing two splotches of deep red spreading across his chest.
"It is not fatal," he said gravely. "The bullets seem to have gone straight through. But that alarm gives us five minutes. You've got to get up, Jigen. Can you?"
"Yeah," Jigen groaned, as sweat began to bead on his forehead.
"Fujiko, help him walk." She took Jigen's left elbow and hooked it over her neck, supporting the lanky gunman as they made their way into the basement. Goemon opened the door into the access tunnels, and began replacing the lock.
"Goemon!" Fujiko gasped in sudden realization. "Where's Lupin?"
"Oh, no!" Goemon said, looking around quickly. "He must still be in the back! Go--get Jigen to the emergency car. I'll be along with Lupin shortly."
The samurai raced back through the basement, up the stairs, and into the back room, while the alarms rang discordantly in his ears. Three minutes left now, he thought, if that. He found Lupin still standing, shoulders hunched, over the fourth cart.
"Lupin," he shouted. "Don't be a fool! We have no time to mourn these diamonds...we must transcend their loss."
"Goemon," Lupin replied softly. "Look." The samurai shook his head. The boy has finally lost his wits, he thought, willing to risk capture over a few empty jewel cases. He walked over to his old friend and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Lupin," he said gently. "This heist is over, it fell through. Jigen has been wounded, and we have only two minutes to meet them at the emergency car. We must..." Lupin cut him off.
"Goemon, look," he repeated, pointing downward at the cart in front of them. Goemon followed Lupin's finger and gasped. "We're not the only ones who got royally screwed on this caper."
The case had been hollowed out, its drawers removed, leaving a large open space within. A large burlap sack was bundled awkwardly into the space. Goemon had gasped when he'd realized that the bundle was actually an unconscious young woman, bruised, bound and gagged.
"We can't just leave her here, Goemon! She'll be arrested, and besides, she's injured!"
"If we *stay* here, Lupin, we'll all be arrested! We have no time!"
"We've got to bring her with us."
Goemon had no desire to waste their dwindling time voicing his concerns. He pulled out Zantetsu--noting with discomfort that the Shadow of Death had begun to creep up from the hilt--and sliced the side off the cart. Lupin gathered the unconscious girl into his arms, burlap and all, and gave Goemon a look of gratitude.
"Let's blow this popstand, then," he said. The two men bolted downstairs into the darkness of the sewers, as the sound of sirens grew louder behind them.
**************************************************************************** *********
Eight blocks away, Fujiko Mine was pacing back and forth in the sewers, willing herself not to panic. Far above her, parked on a mostly-deserted side street, sat the soft-top Cadillac Lupin had chosen as a second getaway car. She hated to admit it, but she feared the worst; the five-minute police response time had just passed, with no sign of Lupin or Goemon.
"Damn you, Lupin! What a time to snap," she said harshly. Ordinarily, under such circumstances, she would have climbed up to the car and driven away; if they hadn't shown up on time, that would have been their problem. As she was fuming, however, a groan from the floor reminded her of why she couldn't bail, and instantly made her regret her harsh words.
She looked down to where Jigen had propped himself up against a dry spot on the wall. Blood had soaked all the way through both his shirt and his coat; it dripped down his sleeve and onto the Magnum still clutched in his right hand. She knelt beside him and lifted the fedora from his head. His face had gone white, and his whole body shook almost imperceptibly. He was going, she realized, into shock--which was bad; and he had blacked out-- which was worse, because she was not strong enough to lift him out of the sewers. And anyhow, the car had been parked over the manhole; she'd moved it in order to get him out of the sewers, but now she could not carry him that far. She needed Lupin and Goemon's help--and she didn't think it was on its way.
"Jigen," she murmured insistently. "Jigen, you've got to wake up. Can you hear me, Daisuke?" He was non-responsive, and she let out a bitter curse. Despite all the barbs they exchanged, she really was somewhat fond of the dour gunman. She loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt collar, then brushed his long hair back from his face. It was an awkward gesture for Fujiko--tenderness was not her strong suit. But it worked.
Jigen's eyes fluttered open briefly. He felt his brain fighting its way through a heavy, dark fog, and it was a minute before he could reply.
"Fujiko," he croaked, wincing at the effort of speech. "Where's that lunkhead?"
"Jigen!" She smiled. "I don't know what happened to Lupin and Goemon. They never...they're not here yet. But Jigen, I've got to get you out to the car, and you've got to help me. I can get you up this ladder, if you can grab on to the rungs as we go." He nodded weakly, and let her hook his left arm over her shoulder once again. They braced themselves against the wall.
"Okay," Fujiko said. "On the count of three, push yourself up with your legs. One," Jigen winced. "Two." She felt his grip tighten. "Three!" With a roar, Jigen pushed himself to a standing position, leaning heavily against her.
"This is ridiculous," he panted. "Only shot in the fucking shoulder...must be getting old."
"You've lost a lot of blood, Jigen. It's no minor flesh wound." She settled the fedora back on his head.
"Fujiko, I'm gonna take back those rotten things I've said about you." The gunman smirked under his hat brim. "Most of 'em, anyway."
"It's a lucky thing you're already injured," she said, "or I would have socked you for that one." Jigen managed a weak grin.
"Friggin' Lupin," he muttered as he began reaching for the ladder. "Maybe he and Goemon could only make it to the closer car...we could--shit!" Gripping the rungs sent fresh waves of pain knifing through his torso, and he fell back against Fujiko.
"Maybe you should just sit back down...I'll go get help..." Jigen waved her off.
"Help? From who? Forget it. Let's just do this..." he gritted his teeth and grabbed hold of the rungs again. And promptly saw the world go black and red around him. Pain roared in his ears, until it was replaced by silence. It was all Fujiko could do to catch him before his head struck the concrete floor.
"Oh, boy," she sighed. "I think we really are in for it, this time."
The sound of feet splashing in the muck echoed through the darkened tunnels. Fujiko flattened herself against the wall, pistol raised, and held her breath. It could be the police or Zenigata just as easily as...
"Oh Jeez oh crap, there are *rats* down here!"
"Lupin!" Relieved, Fujiko dropped the pistol to her side.
"Fuji-cakes! You waited for us!" Lupin called back softly. "Aw, thanks sweetheart!" Lupin and Goemon rounded the corner and threw themselves, panting, against the wall next to her. The beam of her flashlight settled on Lupin, and the burlap sack bundled in his arms.
"What on earth..." Fujiko said with a gasp. "Did you just steal the rest of the store? What is that?" She pulled back a corner of the burlap. "Hey!" Fujiko squealed. "Who the hell is *she*?"
"Shh!" Lupin put a finger to her lips. "I dunno, but I figure we probably wanna find out before the cops do. I'll explain it all later," he whispered. Goemon poked his head back around toward the tunnels, to see that they weren't followed. All three breathed a little easier after a moment passed in perfect quiet.
"Excellent," Goemon said, breaking the silence. "They've probably staked out our other car." He turned to Fujiko. "Why are you still down here? Have they arrived at this car as well?" She pointed her flashlight at the floor near the ladder, where the beam landed on Jigen's crumpled form.
"Holy crap," Lupin said under his breath. He handed the unconscious girl over to Goemon, and knelt down beside Jigen. "Aw hell, buddy, I'm sorry. Aw, Jeez." Goemon, who was at the top of the ladder with the girl over his shoulder, peered out of the manhole.
"Lupin, Fujiko," he called out. "There are new sirens in the distance. I think we had better keep moving." Goemon finished climbing out of the sewers and opened the car. He pulled the burlap sack off the girl and set her gently in the back, her head leaning against the window. He took his seat beside her and waited, pressing the end of his robe against her wounded forehead to stop the bleeding.
Fujiko raced up the ladder and sat at the top, waiting for Lupin to maneuver Jigen up the rungs. When he reached her, she grasped Jigen under the arms and hoisted him gently upward, while Lupin gave him a final push from below. All three tumbled clumsily into the street; Fujiko stood and dusted herself off, while Lupin picked Jigen up and carried him to the car. He settled Jigen in the front passenger seat and tilted the seat back, then squeezed into the back with Goemon and the girl. Fujiko hopped into the driver's seat and gunned the engine. Lupin sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Hang a left at the next light, Fuji-cakes," he said. "Let's head for the hills."
**************************************************************************** *********
Rodeo Drive was a snarl of lights, sirens, and squad cars. A small army of policemen and detectives filled the display salons and vault at Harry Winston, taking notes and fingerprints and pictures. They pointed at the bullet holes in the front room, at the disabled motion sensors, at the empty jewel cases, and drew all the wrong conclusions.
Inspector Zenigata stood in the vault, oblivious to the flashbulbs and raised voices around him. He'd seen the disabled motion sensors, but he didn't bother to tell the lieutenant in charge that the bugs were a Lupin specialty. He'd seen the smashed front lock, and known that Lupin didn't have the stones. But now Zenigata stood quietly, looking at the demolished fourth jewel case. Lupin might not have the Star of the East, but he had something else. Someone else, to be precise. Good, thought the Inspector, rubbing his hands together. She's in.
A piece of paper flapping underneath one of the carts caught his eye. He picked it up and unfolded it, to find familiar handwriting. Scrawled in Japanese on a receipt for a $50,000 tennis bracelet was the following:
Dear old Pops: Sorry I didn't tell you about this one in advance, but I figure you'll get wind of it somehow. Doesn't matter, though... For once I'm just as empty-handed as you, Think you'll find the diamonds before I do? --Lupin III.
"Damn you, Lupin," Zenigata growled as he pocketed the note, but he was smiling.
