Ch.6

Jack stood outside Ana's quarters on the ship, tapping his boot impatiently. "Come on, lass, we haven't got all day! It's just a dress, after all, how hard can it be?"

The door suddenly burst open, and Ana stormed out. "They may LOOK pretty, but curse it all, I've worn handcuffs more comfortable than this!!" She stood on the deck, glaring at no one in particular.

Jack took a step back from the fuming pirate, and looked her over. "I don't know what yer all in a fuss about, missy. You look lovely!"

Ana raised her eyebrows and spoke sarcastically. "Whadya say, laddy? Am I a peach worth pickin'?"

"No lass," Jack walked to her side, grinned at her, offered his arm. "Yer a lobster worth lovin'!"

She glared at him half-heartedly, hiding a smile. Taking his arm, she walked with him to the lifeboat.

The rest of the crew was waiting on shore. They had all the lifeboats with them, ready to shuttle the stolen wood and other supplies to the Pearl. Jack had already informed them of the 'plan'. They weren't the smartest bunch of buccaneers in the Caribbean, but Jack had faith in them, and believed that the plan could be pulled off without a hitch.

Besides Ana, Mr., Gibbs, Mr. Cotton, and Mr. Cotton's parrot, there were two Johns, whom Jack referred to as "first John", and "second John". There was also a Mr. Corner, a Mr. Dobbins, a Mr. Carty, and a man who changed his identity almost very week. When had Jack realized this, he decided it would be beneficial to make up a handle for the man, and since he had been very drunk when he made this decision, he now affectionately referred to the man as "Mr. Rumington."

The whole crew was now gathered in a large group on the beach. Jack had cleaned himself up, and disguised himself as a wealthy merchant. Ana was meant to be his wife. There had been an argument about this, but Jack had pointed out that women were never pirates, and that if Ana dressed up as a respectable woman and accompanied him, the man they were robbing would never suspect a thing.

The rest of the crew were dressed as 'pirates'. Although they were already technically pirates, Jack had insisted that they look more "fearsome" and so they put on the most billowing shirts, the most ripped-up pants, and the biggest boots they could find. They then stuffed their sashes full of weapons, smeared dirt and fish blood on their faces, and practiced talking in low, scratchy voices. They were, as a whole, quite intimidating, and Jack was immensely proud of them.

He stood, looking them over. "Mr. Gibbs! Ana Maria! First John! Second John! Mr. Cotton! Mr. Corner! Mr. Dobbins! Mr. Carty! Mr. Rumington! Are you ready to proceed??"

There was a general rumble of consent, which Jack took as a yes. They set out.

After rowing to shore, Jack and Ana traveled directly to the shipyard. The rest of the pirates went with them, and hid behind buildings and in alleys surrounding the shipyard.

Jack knocked on the door of the small building where supplies were sold and bargained for. There was a short wait, and then a stubby, balding man cracked the door open. He peered out at them for a bit, opened the door fully, and beckoned for them to enter.

"Come in, come in! Is there something that I can help you with today, sir?"

Jack strolled in, with Ana clinging to his arm. He spoke loftily. "Yes, indeed, I am in search of some certain materials which I can use towards the repair of my ship. Timber, primarily..."

The man nodded, and smiled. "You've come to the right place, sir. I've just got a shipment of some fine cedar planks from up north. Are you planning on careening the ship?"

"Yes, in fact, we are. On a small cay west of here."

"And how many planks will you be needing? Of what variety is your ship?

"It's a regular merchant vessel, Dutch, three masts. It's taken quite a lot of damage. Those bloody pirates, you know..."

The man, whose name was Mr. Brown, shook his head sympathetically. "Rascals, those pirates are. There's more of them than ever nowadays...and they're so fierce!"

Ana pretended to look frightened. Jack patted her hand reassuringly. "There, there, dear, nothing to be afraid of here.."

Mr. Brown apologized "I'm sorry if I was scaring you a bit, miss, but there really isn't anything to wo-"

It was about this time that rest of the crew of the Pearl burst through the door, snarling, and generally looking very scary.

Mr. Brown gasped. Ana let out a little scream and fainted into Jack's arms.

"WWRAAOOKK!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS!" Mr. Cotton's parrot initiated the conversation.

Second John stepped forward. "AVAST, vile CURS!!!! Don't try anything SLIPPERY, or we'll CHOP YA TA SMITHEREENS!!!!ARRRGGHH!!!!"

Ana, who had awakened, let out a little cry and fainted again.

First John joined Second John. "AYE! GIVE US WHAT WE WANT, OR WE'LL THROW YA TA DAVY JONES LOCKER!!"

"WRRROOAAK!! DAVY JONES LOCKER"

Mr. Brown stepped back, trembling. "I understand, I understand!! Please don't hurt us! I'll give you whatever you need!"

Second John smiled wickedly. "That's what we want ta hear. We'll be needin' near seventy planks of yer best timber."

"I..is that all? Of course! Anything.." Mr. Brown was beside himself. "It's outside...I can lead you to it...just please, please don't hurt anyone." he was staring at various weapons poking out of various sashes.

Mr. Gibbs pulled out a sword and smiled at Mr. Brown. "Don't you worry, sir, no one 'ere'll be 'urt, as long as ya give us what we want." Mr. Brown didn't look convinced. "Shark Guts! Squid Killer!!" Mr. Gibbs barked at Mr. Corner and Mr. Dobbins (he had made up nicknames for them) "Take this fellow and his lady away! " Jack put on a horrified look, and Ana, who was conscious again, began sobbing hysterically.

Mr. Gibbs looked at them sternly "Now don't you worry, we'll let you go as soon as our business here is finished. We just don't want you runnin' away and squealin' on us!" He prodded Jack and Ana towards the door with his sword. "Come on, now, go with Squid Killer here. Stop that horrid wailing, missy!" Ana was reduced to sniffling into Jack's shoulder, while he patted her gently on the head.

As they were leaving the building, Jack groaned inwardly. He had forgotten to tell his crew to demand tar, and also mallets and fiber for caulking the ship. He suddenly turned, tearing himself from Shark Guts.

"You horrible pirates!! You won't keep getting away with this sort of...ah....piracy! The nerve of it, robbing this man of his timber, his dignity, his TAR, and his CAULKING MALLETS!"

To his dismay, his crew didn't seem to understand. This had not been part of the plan. They simply looked confused.

Ana Maria, however, had caught on. "Oh NOOOOOOOOOooooo!!" she wailed "Not the CAULKING MALLETS!!! and the IRONS and the FIBERS toooooo...How COULD they!! Oh the HORROR!!!!!" She fainted against Jack again.

Second John was the first to catch on. "Oh, ah, YES!!! Ah HA HA HA!!! We're takin' it ALL!!! You'll never see those caulking mallets AGAIN!"

Jack was satisfied at this, and he let Squid Killer drag him and his incapacitated wife out the door.

Mr. Brown had watched their exchange in a horrified and rather confused silence. But when Jack and Ana were gone, he was left alone with the pirates glaring at him, and he spoke up. "f..follow me.." he stammered. "I'll find you what you need..."