Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Nope, not me.
A/N: Yes, Regina is dead. No, she's not coming back. Not this time.
Only the epilogue left after this chapter.
In an answer to a question about wights - no, I did not invent them. Wights like the Each Uisge and the Direach come out of Irish/Scots/Welsh/Gaelic mythology. Cecilia Dart-Thornton's Bitterbynde trilogy transposes wights into a society, and I have tried to do the same thing - though The Space Between The Stars is very different from Bitterbynde!
In answer to another question - Aemilia, Hermione and Ginny are fine. They weren't at Gringotts when the wights attacked. It was only Sirius, Regina, Harry and Ron - and later, Remus.
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Regina was buried at sundown a week later, the threads from the divine tapestry still in her hand, her body laid to rest by that of the brave, finally defeated Aralinda.
"No-one may touch the Tapestry and live," Helena had said solemnly when she laid eyes on Regina's body. She had left Hogwarts the next day, travelling with Bill to London, and the castle, in Severus's mind, seemed emptier than it ever had.
He felt numb inside, his heart turned to a coal-blackness like his eyes. They were gone and he had failed them. Aralinda was dead, and it was his fault. Regina was dead and he hadn't been there to save her. And now Helena was gone, and there was nothing he could do to convince her to stay.
He had not cried at Regina's funeral. Severus Snape was not a man who wept. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black had stood, side by side, tears rolling down their faces, but Severus stood aloof. Their grief was too intensely personal for him to understand. The love of a brother, a lover, was a love Severus could not claim. He could claim only the love of a friend, an admirer.
But I loved her, he thought as he walked by the lake. Oh, how I loved her.
For almost two decades he had worshipped his memories of Regina Lupin, the Potions genius, his schoolmate, his friend. She would never leave his heart, that much he knew. Her name was etched there like an epitaph on a gravestone.
And now, so too was the name of Helena Seraphim, and once more Severus Snape had failed.
Perhaps I am a man not worthy of love, he thought.
He could see Regina's grave from where he walked, and the dark figure standing by it.
"Regina," Sirius Black said hoarsely, "I miss you. I love you. Wait for me."
The same words he had spoken at Regina's funeral. The most simple of sentiments. I miss you. I love you. Wait for me.
Even those who had been beyond death and returned still felt loss.
Sirius had his violin in its case with him, and, as Severus watched, he set it on the ground and knelt before the grave. "Regina," he whispered, his voice broken, "wait for me." He bowed his head and began to sing softly a Lament for the Lost that Severus knew he had penned himself. And even though there was no love for Sirius Black in his heart, the lament touched his soul.
"Farewell, Regina. Under the stars
"On silent wings, begin your flight.
"It seems a sudden shadow flees
"Across the night.
"Fly swift, Regina, on faithful winds,
"With rhythm strong, soar straight and free.
"Yet something rare and wonderful
"Shall leave with thee.
"Fly on, Regina, do not look back
"At those from whom thou must needs part.
"Thy wings thresh airy currents like
"A beating heart.
"Fly high, Regina - do not look down.
"Thy destiny is in no doubt,
"But somewhere in the world below
"A light goes out.
"And didst thou wist so many hearts
"Would go with thee?"
Severus heard Sirius sob, a gut-wrenching, heart-rending sob from the bottom of his heart. He repeated her name like a mantra. "Regina, Regina, Regina."
So much love in his heart, Severus thought suddenly, surprising himself. So much love. that has passed with Regina into the Otherworld.
He found himself walking over to Sirius, laying a hand on his shoulder. Sirius looked up at him in surprise.
"Come on, Black," Severus said gently. "It is time to go home."
*
Had someone told Severus a month ago that a month later he'd be in his dungeon getting drunk with Sirius Black, he would have fed them a deadly poison with hideous side effects.
He took down his bottle of Old Ogden's Firewhiskey and poured a measure. "Drink it," he urged Sirius.
Sirius obliged, knocking it back. "It helps," he admitted. "It. deadens the pain a little. But I know it'll come back." His voice cracked. "I loved her so much. So much! And I had only just found her again. and she was ripped from me."
Severus knocked back his own measure. "I know you loved her, Black," he said. "I loved her too, in my own way."
"I know you did," Sirius replied heavily. "I hated you for it."
"As did I."
There was a moment of silence between them before Sirius spoke again. "We're a pair of sad old buggers, Snape."
Severus quirked an eyebrow, refilling their glasses. "How do you mean?"
"We both fell in love with priestesses," Sirius answered, "and look where it got us."
Severus remained silent. He could not disagree with that, though he didn't know how Sirius knew about Helena.
"You got one pregnant and fell in love in the process," Sirius elaborated, "only to get thrown over for a younger man." He sighed. "And I had one by me for a few glorious weeks, before she was snatched away. Now I have a daughter who didn't want me before and sure as hell won't forgive me now."
"True enough," Severus acknowledged.
"And we spent nearly twenty years chasing after the same girl," Sirius added. "Trying to kill each other in the process, of course." He looked Severus in the eye. "I'm sorry about that. Really."
"As am I," Severus answered. "And I do apologise for the horrid way I have been treating your godson, but don't expect me to stop."
Sirius allowed himself a smile. "The world wouldn't be the same if Severus Snape wasn't a bastard to Harry Potter, and you know that. I know you're doing your job as a spy and all that. It's just. for all that time, after James died, it was Harry and the thought of him that kept me going - even in Azkaban. I wanted justice for his sake. I love that boy like a son. That's why I sounded you out so many times about treating him wrong. Sorry."
"Forgiven," Severus said, knocking back another measure.
"Of course," Sirius added thoughtfully, "you do have reasons to hate Ron and Hermione equally as much now."
"What?" Severus asked.
"Hermione's my daughter. No secret you don't like me. And Ron's Bill's brother. No secret you don't like Bill very much at the moment."
"True."
Sirius cast him a look filled with sadness. "When I was behind the veil. I saw your father, Snape."
Severus felt a sort of bittersweetness settle on him. "Oh," he said lamely.
"He sounded like he genuinely regretted the way he treated you," Sirius said. "But. he was killed by the Direach when the wights poured in. I'm sorry."
"It's all right."
Sirius laughed, a bitter laugh. "We really are a pair of sad old buggers, Snape."
"I know," Severus replied.
"We ought to have settled our score twenty years ago."
Severus refilled the glasses. "True."
Sirius raised his glass. "To the saddest pair of old buggers Hogwarts as ever seen."
"I'll drink to that," Severus answered, and both he and Sirius knocked back their measures.
And began to heal.
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