A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

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He came awake slowly, the flickering of the firelight on his eyelids the first thing he noticed. His head felt fuzzy and he did not try to move, instead settling on opening his eyes. The past few days had been the most horrific he had ever known. In his dreams he had relived every second of having his astral form ripped away from him, his nerve endings raw, and feeling his body decay. The decay had been heavy recently, and he wondered briefly if he had gone mad. Death had seemed to run through is veins instead of blood, and he had heard oblivion calling. He wondered if it mattered if he lived anymore. He was deciding that living was too painful. Whatever he had come down with had felt like it was eating him alive, keeping every cell of his body in pain and on fire every second of every day.

He frowned slightly and squinted toward the fire. The sheets were clean and soft, and he smelled good, as if someone had bathed him. He was dressed in a pair of clean trousers. He dimly recalled Lina caring for him, and he wondered if the feeling of her hands all over his body had been a dream or not. He wasn't certain that he wanted it to be a dream. Just the thought of it made him warm, and he stirred slightly in his bed. He had honestly not wanted to die, and she was the reason. Being alone had never bothered him before. In fact, he had spent most of his existence as a Monster being alone and traveling alone. Now that he was mortal, however, he found the presence of other humans comforting or even pleasant, the company of Lina best of all. He had been so horribly alone and isolated the past few days, abandoned with his illness and pain, and he suddenly wanted the isolation to go away, to feel another human being close to him.

His eyes finally became accustomed to the dim light and he spotted her, sitting on her heels by the fire. She had her back to him, and was only wearing a towel wrapped around her torso. A large book was open across her lap, her hair shining in the firelight as if it had just dried. He recalled the feeling of her skin against his and realized that was what he wanted. If he could just touch her he wouldn't feel so alone in the world. Silently he stole from bed, still very weak from his illness, and crawled up behind her, sitting on his knees just inches away from her back. Slowly he reached up and gathered the heavy mass of her fiery locks in his hands, lifting it to his face and inhaling. He felt her body stiffen, but she sat perfectly still. He could tell she was aware of his every move. Gently moving her hair over her shoulder, he leaned forward and pressed the side of his nose to her bare neck, inhaling the scent of her skin deeply. She sighed and leaned into him, her hands going slightly slack on the book. His heart began to pound inside of his chest and his cheeks burned as his hand reached up and lightly traced the curve of her shoulder. He closed his eyes at the feel of her smooth skin beneath his fingers and he nuzzled her ear. A silent shudder wracked her body and he was aware of her breathing quickening. Her legs drifted a bit farther apart, and he gripped her gently around the waist from behind. Gathering his nerve he let his lips lightly graze where her shoulder joined with her neck. He had wanted to do this to her for years, why was he so nervous? As a Monster he had nearly succeeded when they were celebrating Amelia's recovery, so why was his heart pounding inside his chest? Was it because he knew of his physical prowess as a Monster, but was untried as a human?

He bolstered himself and ran his tongue lightly up the side of her neck, tasting the lower curve of her earlobes as he pulled her to him. A soft noise escaped her throat and the book fell off of her lap. Her hand reached up and gripped the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him to her. He closed his lips on the soft flesh of her neck and sucked gently, feeling her tremble against him. The heat within him rose and he reached around to her front, slowly undoing the fold that held her towel up and letting it rustle into her lap. He took her ear between his teeth as she pressed herself against him more tightly and let his fingers run down the silky, firm plane of her stomach, tenderly fingering her shallow navel. His breathing ragged, he spread his legs and inched closer to her, rising slightly as he moved his mouth over her shoulder to her collarbone. His heart seemed to stop as his hands hovered uncertainly above her bare breasts, but then she arched against him and he gently placed his hands on them. He hefted her high, firm breasts tenderly, nuzzling her neck. he whispered, pressing his lips to curve of her jaw. She rolled her head to expose more of her throat to him and he slowly moved his hands over the surface of her small breasts, pressing his palms against her pert, rosy nipples. Letting out a great sigh, she arched and spread her legs even more, her breathing coming in short bursts.


He moved one of his hands down the expanse of her firm thigh, slowly bringing it in between her legs and grazing the tendon at the top of her leg. He hesitated a moment, waiting for her to protest, then lightly ran his fingers over the hair between her legs. Leaving her pelvis alone, he reached up and lovingly fingered her ribs, reveling in feeling them expand and contract underneath his touch. She was so fabulously alive, and she was letting him participate in that life.

Suddenly she turned to face him, her cheeks blazing, and looked him straight in the eye. He paused, uncertainty racing through him, and then he removed his hands entirely. He rocked back as she stood, her towel falling to the floor completely. He looked up at her and felt something twist inside of him. She was so lovely, with her strong body and blazing eyes, her hair falling about her in silken, fiery waves. She simply stood and looked down at him, allowing him to take all of her in, and for a moment he felt his confidence leave him entirely. He treasured this woman to the very core of his being, and now he wanted to be one with her. He wanted to take her to the stars and leave her breathless.

He joined her in standing, his eyes never leaving hers as he towered above her, then smoothed her hair off of her shoulders with the back of his hand. She stood on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. It was then that he closed his eyes and gathered her into his strong arms, his lips tentatively seeking out hers. He tasted her skin and then kissed her tenderly, warmth spreading throughout his whole body as if her kiss were a fine liquor. He felt heady and suddenly could not get enough of her. As he kissed her deeply he felt her arms unwind from around his neck and drop to his waist, where she released the drawstring of his pants and let them fall to the floor. He broke the kiss and looked down at her, breathing hard and heart pounding madly as he realized she wanted this, too. She looked down at him and he blushed as she saw the state he was in, feeling slightly embarrassed. It seemed unfair that it was so obvious how badly he wanted her. She smiled up at him coyly and ran her hands down his chest, gently flicking his navel, then reached around behind him and gripped his buttocks, pressing him to her. He gasped as he came in complete contact with her skin, then bent and kissed her passionately. With one fluid movement he picked her up into his arms and stepped out of his trousers, smoothly carrying her to the bed and laying her down. Her hair rioted across the pillows like waves of flame and she spread her limbs, smiling up at him. He stood for a moment more, taking in the simple beauty of the clean lines of her body, then crawled on the bed to kiss her. He tentatively slid his tongue into her mouth and she made a soft noise, opening her jaw to better accommodate him. After a moment he broke the kiss and began to nuzzle her neck, tracing the curve of her throat with his tongue and moving down to her chest. He took one of her rosy, velvety nipples into his mouth and began to suckle, eyelashes grazing the skin of her chest while he lowered himself between her spread legs. She arched against him and pressed his head to her more tightly. He switched to the other breast and felt her gasp, her eyes closed and head thrown back as he tasted her. She moaned and arched against him, and he decided it was time.

He pushed himself off of her and looked down as her eyes met his. He searched her face and gaze for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty, or anything at all that might mean that she didn't want to do this. The last thing he wanted to do was make her unhappy. She smiled up at him languidly and raised her hips, and he smiled tenderly back. Very slowly he entered her, his whole body trembling with awe as their bodies melded. When he was completely inside of her a shudder wracked his body and he looked down at her, seeking any sign that he had caused her pain. She gave a great sigh of pleasure and arched against him, and he smiled as he lowered himself onto her, feeling her legs wrap around his hips. He spread her legs wider with his own and began to move against her, exhaling with bliss as her nails dug into his back and she moaned. His dark, thick hair moved across her shoulders as he slid easily inside of her, and she snaked her arms around his neck, actually pulling herself off of the mattress. He rose onto his hands and knees, anchoring himself on one arm and holding her to him with the other, picking up speed and depth. She gasped and tilted her head back as he did so, and he made a small noise himself, reveling in the glory that was Lina. She ground her hips against his sharply and he pushed himself against her firmly, earning himself another gasp. He felt the rapture grow inside of him and he panted as he increased his speed even further, making her cry out. Her fingers clenched the back of his neck and she arched her back as he moved rhythmically against her. Then she convulsed with a mighty cry, her muscles spasming around him, and dropped back onto the bed, moaning and panting. Her body trembled and her cheeks were flushed with her eyes squeezed shut, a look of absolute elation on her face. He had never seen anything so beautiful in the thousands of years of his existence.

He drove into her harder, racing to catch up to her, and clutched at her hips, changing. the angle of his thrust. He crouched over her, moving against her as quickly as he could and feeling the fire in the pit of his abdomen grow brighter. She grunted and half-sat up, clutching his rear and pulling him into her as far as he would go, making a raw cry leave his throat. His threshold loomed and he tumbled over it, pleasure and amazement washing over him at the same time. His muscles clenched and unclenched as he emptied himself into her, taking almost more enjoyment from the pleasure on her face than in his own feelings. She held him inside of her long after she was finished, and he planted his hands on his hips, looking down at her with a gentle, contented smile. She leaned back on her elbows and looked up at him, panting. His smile broadened and she growled at him, using her legs to topple him onto her. He laughed as she grabbed him on either side of the face, taking fistfuls of his hair and pressing her mouth to his.

After she was finished kissing him he finally withdrew from her, rolling onto his side and gazing at her with adoration. His long, shapely finger traced the curve of her collarbone as he smiled at her, contented. She snuggled down into the pillows, tucking her arms behind her head. After a while she looked over at him devilishly. So, you're feeling better, I take it, she murmured.

He sighed and stretched against her, reveling in the feeling of her soft, warm skin against his. I think I'm cured, he said.

she said with a smug smile. Are you glad you trusted me?

You saved me, Lina dear, in more ways than one, he replied softly, snuggling against her. By the way, what was it I had?

She waved a hand in the air, watching his fingers draw lazy circles on her stomach. Oh, just the flu, she replied nonchalantly. Nothing to worry about.

He shuddered against her and buried his head in the curve of her shoulder. Well, thank you, he murmured.

She rolled him onto his back and rested her head on his chest. No problem, she whispered in return. If that's the way you thank me, remind me to save you more often.

A laugh escaped him, his first truly genuine laugh since becoming human. Oh, Lina dear, I think I found something that's better as a human than a monster. Honestly, it has never felt quite like that before.

Not for me, either, she muttered against the skin of his chest. I'm glad that you've finally found something.

As am I, he replied, gathering her into his arms and smiling against her silky hair. As am I.