A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

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He awoke the next morning to find her already gone. She had restarted the fire and left the mess from her breakfast all over the place. Sitting up, he groaned as he stretched out the kinks the cot had put in his back. He threw on an extra shirt and his woolen socks and padded across the room, setting the kettle on the fire. A glance out the window told him there had been significant snowfall during the night, and he worried about Lina for a moment. She really did hate the cold. Well, she could Ray Wing over the deep patches, and once she got to Lorander she wouldn't have to worry about the weather. As far as he could tell, Lorander's pocket dimension was completely static. It made him wonder how his little home pocket dimension was faring without him.

Sighing, he went about cooking his own breakfast. It took him far too long to do so, and he had no idea what he was doing. Everything was far too crispy, and he kept finding long strands of his own hair. He shook his head and ended up throwing most of it out. By the time everything was cleaned up and put away, he realized that it was close to mid afternoon. He had slept far too long that morning. He made the cot and even straightened Lina's bed, sweeping the entire place out. When he was finished it looked quite presentable. The only thing that hadn't been tidied was Lina's side table, the one where she did her reading and piling of books. He went over to the table and sat down, prepared to just shut and shelve all the volumes, when he noticed that several of the books were open to similar subjects. An old scroll, close to disintegration and deeply creased, even sat to one side. Curious, he looked everything over and realized that all the books were talking about the pollen of some plant. Of course he recognized the plant, he remembered that there had been a brief frenzy about it around a thousand years ago, shortly after the whole War of the Monsters' Fall business. The flower was nearly extinct now as a result of that frenzy, which had actually lasted a couple of hundred years. Since its medicinal properties had been largely forgotten once the plant became scarce, however, it was probably making a comeback. He sighed. Such things went in cycles, he had come to realize, and they were easy enough to see if one lived long enough. He left the books open in case he was able to make sense of what was going on and refer to them later when he saw a scribbling in the margin of one of them. It was something about a parasite, cysts, pollen, and epidemic. He scowled, something tickling the back of his brain, and unrolled the old scroll carefully. Winter-flower, eh? That was a strange plant, but its use made sense in light of an epidemic. It put the body in a state of pseudo-stasis, deadening nerve endings and motor activity. Wait, was the epidemic the margin had talked about the same discussed in the scroll, and where had the scroll come from? He frowned and shut the books, shelving them, and took a last look at the scroll. Lorander. Everything had happened in Lorander, which was probably one of the reasons the dragon had helped to seal the city. Still, why would Lina have been looking for this sort of information? He pressed his lips into a tight line, knowing that there was some connection he wasn't making. Well, it would come to him eventually, and in the meantime he knew that there was even more that Lina was keeping from. Well, let her keep from him whatever she wanted to. He understood what it was like to have secrets. Perhaps the best-kept secrets were the secrets best kept. Besides, she was a human, and although he was as well, he also had centuries upon centuries of experience at discovering information. In time he would know everything.

Lina entered the room violently, the door banging off of the wall as she stood in the doorway. The snow-laden wind whipped into the room and he paused in his cooking, staring at her. She growled at him and lurched into the room, slamming the front door behind her. She stamped her feet on the floor and took off her snowy boots. Um, bad day? he asked, setting down the knife and wiping his hands on a towel. He walked over to where she sat next to the door, unwinding a scarf from around her neck. Standing before her, he crossed his arms over his chest and inclined his head to the side. Different emotions warred within him, something he had never really experienced before. One the one hand he wanted to take her by the shoulders and force her to tell him everything. However, he could understand that a person had things they wanted to keep private. He also wanted to take her into his arms and soothe away all her anger, frustration, and fatigue, but he didn't dare do that. Lina had never hauled off and slapped him, but he wouldn't put it past her. Besides, she had confused the matter by taking him the night before and then leaving him to sleep alone. Which he could also understand, in a way. He had never spent the night with any of his past copulation partners. It made sense that she had just wanted sex and then a good night's sleep. What was frustrating was that he didn't know what she really wanted or what she was actually thinking, and as such had no idea what to do about it.

Awful day, she growled. This is getting ridiculous. I spend all damn day going through books, and hardly any of them are spellbooks! You'd think a city full of damn sorcerers would have had a few spellbooks lying around.

He nearly reached out for her then, but restrained himself, rather surprised he even had the instinct to want to comfort her. He had never felt such things as a Monster. I'm sorry, he said. I'm making dinner, if that helps.

I'm starving, she grumbled, standing up and dumping her snow-laden cloak on the ground. That doesn't help my research.

He went and picked up her cloak, hanging it on a hook, then stowed her boots and other garments she had discarded. he said, putting away the scarf, You could always try checking people's personal libraries as well. Or perhaps there's a specific magic library. Honestly, it was a little too long ago for me to remember very clearly.

Maybe I'll try that, she muttered, sitting down on the bed and pulling off her socks. He returned to the table and dumped the chopped vegetables into the pot, stirring slowly. Checking the recipe, he was dimly aware of her moving about the room, and then became completely absorbed in the soup's directions. He really didn't want to mess up the meal, especially if she was in such a foul mood to begin with.

The soup was fine, he decided as he lifted the wooden ladle to his lips, closing his eyes to better focus on the taste. Yes, it would do. He reached up under his kerchief and scratched his skull, wondering if he should put a little more pepper in. At least this time he had remembered to gather back his hair before cooking. Lina shouldn't have any complaints over dinner this go around. Speaking of Lina, where had she gone?

As if answering his thoughts, the back door creaked slowly open, a cold gust of wind blasting through the room. Lina appeared, quickly shutting the door behind her, ice already forming at the ends of her hair. She pulled the robe around her more tightly and shivered. I hate the cold, she snarled. I don't know what possessed me to rent a cottage this far north.

He tapped the ladle on the side of the kettle, turning his attention away from her long enough to see that the soup didn't boil over. I believe it was because you wished to be closer to the Library of Lorander, he murmured, stirring their supper slowly.

I didn't actually want you to answer me, she muttered, and he could hear her slip out of her shoes and pad across the floor, coming closer to him.

My apologies, he replied. Supper will be ready in a moment or two. I just want to be sure that the potatoes are soft enough.

He heard her laugh behind him. The first time I ever saw you cook I thought we'd all die from the stench.

Well, it was a recipe designed to kill dragons, he said with a chuckle. I hope my skills at feeding humans have improved since then.

she mumbled, and he could hear her rustling.

Lina dear, would you prefer wine or water with your meal? he asked absently, looking about for a potholder. He waited for an answer, but she didn't volunteer one. Turning around, he spotted a potholder on the table, and as he reached for it her hand caught him by the wrist. He looked up at her, puzzled, and nearly dropped the ladle as she let the robe slide from her shoulders. Eyes wide and surprised, he breathlessly took in the sight of her, his heart pounding in his chest. he whispered.

Just be quiet, she growled. Sometimes dinner can wait.

He gasped as she pulled him to her, thrusting an arm beneath his armpit and grasping his shoulder blade while roughly removing the kerchief in his hair with the other. Her fingers grazed his scalp as she gripped his hair, tilting his head back and exposing his throat. He closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure as her lips, still slightly cold from being outside, explored the skin of his neck. Her mouth found his Adams apple and caressed it tenderly, eliciting a deep groan from him. His hands hesitantly touched her, her skin still warm from soaking in the hot spring just outside the door, and she felt like silk beneath his fingers. He freed himself from her grip, trying to grasp her around the waist, when she pulled away violently. His hands followed her motion, his brow furrowing in confusion, as she reached up and gripped the fabric of his shirt. He raised his eyebrows and blinked at her in surprise, nearly flinching as she ripped the front of his garment down the middle, baring his chest. he shuddered as she thrust her hands inside, fingering his ribs.

Don't ruin this by talking, she murmured, and he leaned into her touch as she drew her hand down the cleft of his spine. Her other hand played lightly over the surface of his pectorals, dancing delightfully across his collarbones and sternum until coming to rest in his shallow navel. Again he attempted to catch her, but she moved more quickly than he expected and had him by the wrists. With a few deft motions she guided him to the table, using his body to clear the surface of assorted kitchen implements. He had the time to be relieved that nothing she knocked on the floor was actually breakable, then she cleared his head of all thought as she gripped his hips and began to kiss his bare chest, moving up to his neck and flicking his throat with her tongue. Somehow she managed to remove his shirt altogether as she forced him down onto the table, her long, naked limbs snaking around his as she rested her weight upon him fully. He moaned as she ran her hand down the inside of his thigh, her touch setting him aflame even through the fabric. You are mine, she said roughly through her teeth, and for a moment he caught a glimpse of her ruby eyes glistening in the firelight. She moved her head down to his navel and traced his muscles with her tongue, her heavy, silky hair spilling over his abdomen like liquid fire. Her hand came to rest where his leg joined his pelvis, her fingers digging into the tendons there, and he decided he had had enough.

He rolled off of the table to a standing position, clutching her naked body to him as he did so, navigating over to the fire. He lowered her onto the rug by the hearth, letting his mouth play over her collarbones as his hair trailed across her bare breasts. His hands gently ran up and down the soft lines of her back, and she arched as he moved his head downward, taking a nipple into his mouth. A low sound came from the depths of her chest, and she slowly wrapped her legs around his hips, using the strength in her thighs to bring him closer to her. Enough of these games, she whispered, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down into a fierce kiss. Simultaneously she undid his belt and thrust her hand down the front of his pants, gripping him roughly. His eyes shot wide open and he inhaled sharply, then shuddered as she moved her hand down even further between his legs. He felt his limbs weaken as sensation flooded his body, and he nearly collapsed on top of her, lost. Beg me, she said softly into his ear, tone sharp.

he moaned, gasping as she took his earlobe between her teeth.

she hissed, arching her back and pressing her breasts into his bare chest.

I won't, he panted, pulse racing. He couldn't tell if the fever of his skin was caused by the fire in the hearth or the woman beneath him.

She used her toes to slowly push his trousers around his ankles, then kicked them off of him completely, so they lay entangled on the rug. I think you should.

So she wanted to play a game, did she? A twisted smile wound across his face and he rested his full weight on her, pinning her. Whom should be the one to beg? he asked slyly.

Lina Inverse never begs, she said, the firelight reflected in her eyes.

He began to laugh, but his mirth changed to surprise as she planted her feet beneath her and thrust up with her hips, launching him an inch or two into the air. Before he knew what was going on, he was flat on his back, his wrists pinned to the floor. Perhaps the situation warrants reevaluation, he murmured.

she whispered, leaning down and finally kissing him on the mouth. He freed his hands and gently gripped her jaw, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She made a soft noise against him, and he sat up, her legs seeming to wrap around him of their own accord. Still kissing her, he gripped her rear and lifted her onto him, reveling in her shudder as she wrapped herself around him. He began to move against her and she broke their kiss, tilting her head back and gripping her own wrist behind his neck. He watched her arch with half-closed eyes, taking in the sight of her body moving in tandem with his, the shadows her curves created on her skin changing with every slight shifting of position. His body quivered with the intensity of being inside of her, the soft skin of her thighs gently passing over his waist. It was as if, for one moment, they became one animal, each reaching inside the other and grasping the inner fire there. He heard her whimper softly and she thrust her hips downward, making him cry out as she drove his entire length into her. He grabbed desperately at her sweat-slickened body, praying it would never end, that they would be able to move like this for all eternity. Her fingernails dug sharply into his back and he grunted with the penetrating pleasure of her grip, feeling her body tighten around his and break out into a multitude of spasms, her breathing ragged in his ear. He gripped her by the back of the head, burying his fingers in her thick, shiny hair, and crushed her to him as he felt the universe break apart inside of him and he blissfully spilled over, panting against her neck.

she moaned, and he was able to stop his trembling long enough to kiss her tenderly, sucking gently on her lower lip.

I think I am yours, he murmured, falling backwards onto the rug, chest heaving. He looked up at her as she planted her hands flat on his chest, propping herself up. Their eyes met for long moments as their breathing slowed in unison, the sweat drying upon their bodies. He ran a hand through his hair, unsticking his bangs from his forehead, and then laid his hands atop hers. I think a part of me always will be yours.

I know, she said, and smiled.

This is really good, she mumbled around a mouthful as she shoveled soup into her mouth several moments later.

He stared at her, disbelieving, as he always was, that such a small person could eat so much. She was so petite, and yet she was also anything but dainty. It would have been better, but it started to boil over, he said, politely spooning soup into his own mouth.

Are you complaining? she asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

Oh, heavens, no, he said quickly, blushing. I just wanted my first attempt at human cooking to be the best, that's all.

It's plenty good for me, she replied, words muffled by the food in her mouth.

Well, I'm glad you like it, he said, brows twisted in his war between admiration and confusion.

was all she managed as a reply.

It wasn't long before they were finished with supper and he had cleaned up and put away the dishes, leaving her to lounge in a chair by the fire, a hand on her distended belly. he asked slowly, wiping the final dish dry and stowing it in the cupboard.


What was I really sick with?

I told you, the flu.

Does the flu have anything to do with Lorander or winter-flowers? he asked mildly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

I dunno. Does it?

Very evasive, Lina Inverse, he thought to himself. It was what he had come to expect. Well, he was able to play her game as a Monster, he didn't suppose it would be too much different to play it as a human. I was wondering why the mere flu would necessitate use of the winter-flower. It is a way to deaden nerves and motor function temporarily.

Oh, is that right? Maybe we should get some, then.

A small smile crept across his face and he was thankful his back was to her. The reason I bring it up at all is because I found some residue in one of the cups. He waited for her to answer, but the room's only sound was the crackling of the fire in the hearth.


So I was wondering what you were using it for, if not to cure me. He turned around, barely able to contain his smile, knowing that he had her. Her face was tightened into a scowl and she was glaring at him fiercely.

I thought to put you out of your pain, she snapped. I'm sorry. I'll be sure to never do you such a favor again.

He raised an eyebrow. Oh, please forgive me, Miss Lina. I didn't mean to put you out of sorts.

She darted him an evil look. Whatever. I'm going to sleep. Have a nice night in your cot.

Sighing, he watched her crawl into the bed. Good night, he muttered, and continued to tidy things up.