Chapter VIII
Silent Respect
Point of View: Riku
Written by: Jayde (8th Chapter)
Why me?
I couldn't stop asking myself that. Over and over and over again.
Why me?
Perhaps I have no right to ask myself such a question. Then again, was it not my fault Kairi was angered so? By me and my constant protecting of her? She is no longer a little girl. She can take care of herself. She doesn't need me.
Yes she does.
No she doesn't.
Keep telling yourself that.
Keep telling myself…I can't keep telling myself anything. I'm caught in the middle of oppressive realism and I still sometimes refuse to believe any of it, so what's the point?
It's been… three days exactly since we argued. Kairi refuses to talk to me. After that night, I tried for hours on end to get into my room. I even went as far as threatening her, but stopped myself before I got so out of hand that she'd be forced to leave. Instead, I slept – or pretended to sleep – on the couch. I wanted her to come out. I wanted her to talk to me.
But she wouldn't.
She hates me.
No she doesn't. Just because she doesn't want you breathing down her neck all the time doesn't mean she hates you.
Once again, the voice in my head is right.
Feeling bereft, I left the apartment. It seemed even Keiko was on Kairi's side; I was feeling, as amazing as it seems, suddenly lonely. Living nearly a month with a person other than myself seemed to change me, if even in the slightest.
Bloodshed would do me good.
I retrieved my two swords from beside the couch. After stealing one last look at my locked bedroom door, I exited the small condo, glaring ahead of me at nothing in particular. I shut the door loudly behind me, locked it, and pocketed the keys before walking quickly down the flights of stairs. I left the building and strode quietly down the street.
It had begun to rain as the gates of Pareja slowly came into view.
They swished open gently and then closed behind me. With rain comes Heartless; I was in luck. One step… two steps… three steps… and they emerged from the ground, forming into their small frames. I drew the two swords and crossed them in front of me, forming the 'x' that signaled the beginning of the battle.
Time to think.
I turned around and back flipped as a half dozen lunged. In mid-flip, sword met beast all at once. Even more came charging forward. Parrying a blow to the head, I jumped into the air; four Heartless ran into each other, disappearing only a second later in a cloud of black smoke. Touching down with a thud, I headed at a slant for more.
I'll just apologize to her. She can't stay silent forever.
Or maybe she can. She's been alone for four years.
I backed up and charged, blades raised. More were vanquished with the blow.
It's not that hard. Changing your act isn't as tough. Just apologize and promise not to be her shadow twenty-four/seven.
I wasn't going to let any one of them out of my sight. Dealing more blows by the second, I secretly hoped there would be more…perhaps something else to fight other than the easy and common Shadows.
Unfortunately, I got my wish.
As soon as the battle would have been done, three Defenders, five Darkballs, and one Gargoyle sprung to life from the dark depths below, each with a malicious smirk on their grim faces. Their eyes glared as I stepped forward, straightening.
This is going to be fun.
The Gargoyle swooped down upon me, and I jumped narrowly to avoid its swiping claws. It flew into the wall behind me before angrily getting up. I waited patiently until it came flying back. When it was just above my head, I thrust both swords up, throwing the flying Heartless from the sky. Injured, it squawked to the other monsters, which surprisingly had stood watching its comrade fail. The Defenders surged forward, their dog-headed shields nipping at me as I back flipped out of the way. I landed on the wall and kicked off immediately as one Defender charged toward it.
Landing in-between the Defenders, the Gargoyle, and the Darkballs, I quickly contemplated a strategy. The Defenders have shields, the Gargoyle's injured, and the Darkballs are balloons.
This'll take a while.
Smirking, I ran at an angle toward the hurt Gargoyle. Thrusting the silver blades into it once again, I hurriedly swung it toward the Defenders before it disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Cloud…of…smoke…
It momentarily stunned them as I ran forward, easily seeking them out and stabbing them one by one, their shields unblocking my way. When the smoke cleared, I sprinted toward the Darkballs, evading each attack they tried and destroying them quickly.
Panting, I stayed in my final fighting position for a long moment, sweat mingling with rainwater, the taste of salt heavy on my tongue. Finally, I stood, brushing at the cloak that stuck to my body in the rain. Replacing the swords at my side, I turned, walking toward the Item Shop. This Hell owed me a few nights' work.
I walked in, grabbing numerous food items as well as medical aid. I brought the pile to the counter and nodded towards the man. He turned, opening a tin box and rummaging before swerving back and handing me some Gil. He nodded back and I stuffed the many items as well as currency into whatever pockets the cloak held. Hurriedly, I left the shop, feeling a tinge of urgency.
The gates opened once again, and then closed when I left the city. Now I was faced with confronting Kairi. Why was I suddenly so nervous? She was my best friend. All it took was an apology and a promise. But, as I've said before, four years can change a person. Maybe Kairi won't be so forgiving. Perhaps she's already left, feeling I can no longer be trusted.
No…she wouldn't.
You don't know that.
I walked for a while, not knowing where my feet were carrying me, and in some way, not really caring. But I soon found myself at my building. I pulled the keys from one pocket and thrust the first one in. The barred glass door was pushed open and I absently closed it after me and walked up the stairs. It was still raining and I still didn't trust the elevator. Finally coming to my floor, I walked casually towards my room, pushing another key into the door and locking it safely behind me.
I removed the cloak and laid it on the couch before removing my black t-shirt and throwing that on the floor. Retrieving another shirt from the small chest at the back of the main room, I pulled it on and took the items of food and Medicaid out of the cloak. I put them in their rightful places before walking straight to my bedroom. Feeling only a bit nervous for some unknown reason, I jiggled the knob.
She's still locked in.
I sighed and knocked. "Kairi, if you're still in there, come out. We need to talk."
And the most remarkable thing happened.
She opened the door.
Looking tired and red-eyed, she didn't smile, nor did she greet me in any way. Instead, her face was voice of any emotion, which I wouldn't have found surprising had she been anyone else in this Hellhole.
I gazed at her, mouth opened slightly, before she spoke. "What do you want?" I was struck for a second by the harsh way she said it. But I was back to my regular self in so much as a blink.
"Kairi, I'm…I'm sorry." She stared straight into the iced orbs I called my eyes before her nod told me to continue. "I know you've been able to take care of yourself for four years, and I realize I don't have to look after you like a little girl all the time. You don't need me." Her eyes fell.
Silence.
"It's not that I don't need you," she said suddenly, grasping her hands tightly. "Of course I need you. You're my best friend. I just don't want you watching me every second. Don't you trust me to take care of myself, Riku?" I nodded, my eyes unwavering.
"Yes, I do, Kairi." Her eyes were wiped blank.
"Then why do you act as though I'm a fourteen - year - old weakling? I'm eighteen. I've lasted long enough without you." She paused. "You're just going to have to trust me, okay? Without trust, we cannot have understanding. And we need understanding if we're going to survive in Nihility."
"I know. Believe me, I know." I stopped for a second. "I just…don't want to lose you again. I can't let that happen." She let out a long breath, raising one small pale hand to her chest.
"You won't, Riku. You've trained me for nearly a month, and I'm sure I can take care of myself. You won't lose me because I won't let you." She attempted a small smile. "Just promise me that you won't breathe down my neck anymore, okay?"
Ha, a voice laughed. I was right.
Shut up.
I think I could get used to saying, 'Told ya so.'
Didn't I just say shut up?
I stared at her again for a long time before she shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. I smirked and nodded. "Promise." Her smile went wider only a slight bit but then it disappeared.
"And I'm sorry for acting like a real bitch. This isn't even my home, and I locked you out of it." Her eyes fell to the floor again. That's when I noticed Keiko sitting obediently at the entry to the bedroom, her multi-colored eyes locked on Kairi and I.
I snorted, pulling my gaze away from the feline. "You? A bitch? Yeah right, Kairi. It was my fault in the first place. You have nothing to apologize for." I paused, looking down at her again. "Except for the fact that you're training was halted." She looked up, frowning.
"Actually, it wasn't." She walked towards the couch and sat; I followed, eyeing her suspiciously. "I tried to train in your room, but it was too small. So…" She looked up nervously, twiddling with her thumbs. "So, when you were away…I'd go out to our usual spot and train," she finished quickly. I glared at her.
"You did what?" I asked slowly, annoyed. She glared back, throwing her hands up.
"See? That's exactly what I mean! You don't trust me! You don't care that I can take care of myself. You always have to be by my side, thinking I'll just keel over and die if you don't!" she yelled, pointing accusingly at me. I wasn't taking this shit. I stood, towering over her short form.
"You could've gotten hurt, Kairi! What would've happened if you were ambushed by Heartless? What if someone decided to try and kill you? And I wasn't there to help?" She didn't flinch.
"Riku, listen to yourself! Five minutes ago, you promised to stop being my babysitter. And now you're telling me what to do! Please," she pleaded, her yells dying down. "Just give me a chance. Stop being my shadow and listen to me. I've been able to live for four years without you. Do you need any more proof?" I sat back down, my head falling to my hands, elbows resting shakily on my knees.
"I'm sorry. I do trust you." A pause. "This time I won't break my promise." I looked up again. She smiled shakily, nodding.
"I know you're one to keep your promises." She sat down, staring hesitantly into my eyes, as though knowing something about me even I didn't know. Then, she did something I didn't think she had the willpower to do.
She awkwardly leaned forward and hugged me.
Even though it was only quick, I knew it signaled the beginning of some kind of new silent respect between the two of us. Perhaps, with time, it would lead to something more.
