A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

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Come on! Lina called, waiting for him to begin walking again. He was standing in the middle of the road, staff in hand, and staring at the little cabin they were leaving behind. She watched as the wind blew his cape to and fro, his dark-clothed frame stark against the lush spring landscape of the mountains. The expression on his face was unreadable as he studied the place they had called home for seven months, and she wondered what he was thinking. Actually, she wondered that often. Sometimes she would catch him staring off into space, an oddly cold look on his sculpted features. For the millionth time since she started journeying with him she compared him to Gourry. Where the swordsman was thick, Xellos was slender and wiry, strong without being bulky. Xellos was quick efficiency in every single one of his movements, and she had actually come to enjoy watching the machinations of his mind behind his clear, amethyst eyes. She liked to think that her curiosity about him had been satisfied, but she knew that would never be the case. There was more to him than she would ever know, and that fact just made her want to try even harder. He answered her on so many levels, and she knew that he understood her mind and her body.

However, just because he was now a human didn't mean that he understood her heart. Gourry was the only person who had ever seemed to comprehend the way her heart worked, and at times she longed for that. She had to remind herself however, that Gourry had never even had an inkling of how her mind worked, nor of how to enjoy her body to the fullest. Well, Xellos had that down to an art, that was for certain. She had never felt the way he made her feel when they were making love. It was as if she could let the rest of her life go and live in the moment whenever he was inside of her. He seemed to trust her, and she grudgingly admitted that she trusted him in return. That didn't stop her from worrying about the future. The festival, for example, had blown her mind. She didn't know where an ex-Monster like Xellos had learned to dance, but he had done it excellently and with flair, even able to cover for her mistakes. He had looked like some warped fairy tale prince, tall and handsome in his tailored suit, with his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and sultry smile that could slay a woman from a dozen yards away. He had still looked exciting and dangerous, however, with the collar of his shirt hanging open and his hair blowing loose in the wind. He was a beautiful demon of a man, and sometimes she wondered if all the Monster was truly gone from him.

she called again, growing impatient. What was taking him so long? He looked at the cabin one last time and turned to her, his customary mild smile on his face. She had come to think of it as the expression he used when he wanted to hide something, and she wondered if he was even aware he was doing it.

I'm sorry, he said gently, catching up with her. I was just thinking what a nice little home that was for the winter.

A twinge of something caught at her insides and she actually had to make an effort not to wince. It was nice, too nice, and that scared her. The cabin actually had felt like home, and it had been difficult to leave the cocoon of domesticity she and Xellos had made for themselves. The problem was that she could actually see herself years down the road, still traveling with him. If anyone could help her realize her ambitions, it would be him. Still, stray thoughts of Gourry snuck in every so often, and she knew that she missed him. Well, don't let it slow you down, she said sharply. I'd like to get there soon. At least it will be warmer.

Yes, it should be quite lovely this time of year, he replied, putting his hand on hers.

She smiled up at him against her will, adoring and hating simultaneously the warmth his touch spread through her entire being. She wanted to give in to him very badly, but something within her wouldn't allow her to. She didn't know what was holding her back. If he was going to really lay claim to her, he would have done so already. Even though he had played along with their marriage charade in town, he had never once brought it up for real, and she knew he never would. For an ex-Monster he was very unpossessive, instead preferring to follow her lead. It was strange, for although Gourry had never asked her to do anything or be anything, she always got a sense that he wanted more of her. There was never that sort of pressure from Xellos. In fact, just being near her made him happy. What frightened her was that just being near him, now that he was human and had no ulterior motives, made her happy as well. He was what she had always wanted in a man, and the fact that he hadn't always been human slipped her mind more and more often of late. The prospect of him being around for a long time to come was oddly comforting, and it was great to actually have someone to hold intelligent, complex conversations with. She hated to admit it, but she was learning a lot from him, not only about magic and history, but also about herself.

Let's go, she said, and squeezed his hand.

A month later they were still on the road, winding their way southward. They had passed through many small villages and a couple of large cities, sometimes stopping to see if there were any interesting old books to be found. Their searching yielded nothing, however, and so they continued to work their way down the coast. She awoke every morning with her head resting on his chest, safe and warm in the gentle, strong embrace of his arms. The feeling of his long, muscular limbs wrapped around her thrilled her every day, and she loved coming awake to the steady beating of his heart. He was an absolute angel when asleep, his heavy, dark hair spilling over the pillows like the silk of night. She adored his pale throat and the way his Adams apple jutted out ever so slightly, his pulse visible as it beat away. His elegant, powerful fingers always rested reverently on the skin of her shoulder, and when she went to sleep at night she found herself looking forward to waking in his arms. The moment when those deeply amethyst eyes found hers in the morning light thrilled her without fail, and she felt she could live her entire life and never truly know what went on in their depths. Xellos simply had so much history that she was fairly certain she would never tire of his company.

She walked along, lost in thought, only dimly aware of his quiet footfalls behind her on the road. he said quietly, voice strained, and put a hand on her shoulder.

she replied sharply, annoyed that he interrupted her musings until she saw the look on his face. It reminded her of when he was a Monster. She had only seen it a few times, but it was the same expression of quiet, tense study that he had worn during their battle with Darkstar. Something was very wrong, and the fact that he seemed so alert frightened her.

he repeated, his grip on her tightening as his dark eyes scanned the woods. His fingers wound more firmly around his staff and he took off his leather bag, handing it to her. Reaching into a pocket, he pressed some stones into her hands. Here, take these, he whispered, looking past her through the trees and down to the shoreline. They amplify healing spells, but since I don't know any, they'll do you more good.

But what- she began, but he silenced her with a finger against her lips. She scowled and prepared to tan his hide, but the look of intense, fearful concentration stopped her cold. His face was pale and drawn beneath his thick bangs.

Something's following us, he murmured, stepping between her and the sea protectively.

She clutched his bag to her and quickly searched the trees. It was starting to bother her, too. There was something strange in the air, making the hair on the back of her neck rise. Something was coming for them.

Stay still, he warned softly, pushing her behind him and lowering into a battle stance.

She opened her mouth to protest but instead jumped back as a dark streak barreled out of the woods, engaging Xellos immediately. Xellos brought up his staff and blocked the blow, teeth bared as his hair and cloak billowed backward in the wind created by the attack. A flurry of blows was exchanged, the pace so quick she could barely follow it. She was impressed by Xellos' hand to hand skills, and his speed was even better than Gourry's. He didn't have the might to inflict the same kind of damage that the swordsman did, but she wagered his technique was just as good. Xellos with a staff and Gourry with a sword would have been an interesting match.

She gasped, eyes wide, as Xellos took a hit, rolling backwards into a standing position. He wiped at the cut in his cheek with the back of his glove, ignoring the wound. he hissed, eyes narrowed dangerously as he crouched defensively.

I've come for your life, Xellos, the attacker said, straightening, and Lina saw that it was a rather nondescript man in shabby clothing.

I wish I could tell you it was a pleasure to see you again, Easwied, but I have a feeling we both know that would be something other than the truth, Xellos said coldly, standing up to his full height.

Save your words, the man replied. You'll pay for helping a human to kill Orkalym and Anemony.

Lina's eyes widened as she realized the man before her must be a Monster, one of Deep Sea Dolphin's. Was he another one of her generals or priests? It would be one of Anemony's lackeys who would throw themselves into a battle they know they can't win, Xellos replied with a cold smirk. Lina shuddered at the look on his face, wondering if there wasn't some Monster left in him still. So, the new Monster was one of Anemony's goons. From what she could tell, Xellos and Deep Sea's priestess hadn't gotten along at all.

Easwied laughed, the sound harsh and grating. Have you forgotten, Xellos? he asked. You're no longer a rival of the Dark Lords in power. You're just a mere human.

A mere human defeated Phibrizzo, you know, Xellos said emotionlessly, raising his staff.

I've heard the story, the Monster replied, And I am not impressed. Besides, the human could never have defeated Anemony without your assistance.

You would do well to remember my assistance. Now how did you find me? Xellos said, voice for the first time hinting at underlying anger.

That's a secret, Easwied grinned, and Xellos went pale.

I can't believe it, he murmured. You asked, and she told you.

Of course. Monsters stick together, and now you're only a human.

Xellos held up a hand, palm downward, and chanted something under his breath. Lina looked around, feeling enormous power building up, chilling her to the bone. She had no idea what he was casting, and yet it was gigantic. Kroi Fahn, Xellos said softly, and Lina barely had time to throw up a wall spell before it hit. The ground opened up in long, angry cracks, lava bursting from the cracks and sailing into the air. A ball formed a few meters above Easwied's head, quivering for a second before raining down upon him with crushing force at the same time rock spikes burst from the earth. Lina held her forearm in front of her eyes as the spell exploded, rocking the ground around them, trees burning and falling in every direction. When the smoke cleared she could see Xellos standing calmly, eyes focused on the point where the Monster had stood. A second later she could see the figure of his adversary step through the smoke and fire, a cold smile on his face. His clothes were badly singed, but he seemed otherwise unharmed. Xellos' expression twisted slightly, marring his sculpted features. I will not let you win, he told the Monster.

I doubt you have a choice, Easwied replied, and Lina realized that the Monster was nearly as strong as Anemony had been. The Monster phased out just like Xellos used to do, and her lover turned slowly, eyes searching.

Lina gasped as the Monster rematerialized directly behind Xellos, aiming a blow right for the back of his head. Xellos closed his eyes and leaned to the side, the strike missing him by a mere inch. He raised his staff and it began to glow with a terrible light, sparking as he plunged it into the Monster's midsection. Easwied snarled and fell back, rubbing his stomach. Lina's gut turned as the Monster began to shift forms, twisting into a tall, webby creature with slick skin. It was just the sort of thing she would expect to come from the sea. Nice try, but I'm afraid you'll have to do better than that.

Xellos didn't reply, just turned and gazed at his adversary flatly, dark eyes betraying nothing. Lina felt a shiver race down her spine. Whatever spells Xellos had just used, they were nearly as powerful as the Dragon Slave, and yet they had no effect whatsoever on the Monster. Easwied was far too quick for her to use the Ragna Blade on, and she had no desire to alert the Monsters to the product of her research. If Xellos couldn't defeat him she had no idea what she was going to do. As the thought materialized in her mind, he turned to her and opened his hand, fingers spread. She stared right into his eyes and realized that he had no idea how the battle would end. He hadn't lost confidence, though, and before she knew what was going on he had encased her in a Ray Wing and sent her soaring over the tops of the trees, away from him. She shouted and pounded against the spell, unable to break it and terrified that she could not. If his power as a human was so great, what must it have been like as a Monster? She recalled the amount of energy he had managed to summon while fighting Darkstar, and even then he must have had reserves left. She was suddenly very, very glad that he had never turned against her. She had about as much of a chance defeating him as she did a Dark Lord, which meant a successful Giga Slave or nothing at all.

An explosion rocked the bubble she was encased in and she fell backwards, eyes wide as a ring of destruction a mile wide radiated from Xellos' form, baring the earth all the way to the dirt. The Monster howled and fell back, wounded, but not badly. Xellos seemed like an ant next to the large, wet form of Easwied, and it didn't help that she was too far up to really see what was going on anyway. If Xellos was tossing around spells like that and was still having to effect, she really didn't see what chance she had.

The next spell he cast was one she recognized, a Blast Bomb. It leveled the already-bare countryside, and she was glad that no one lived within miles of that portion of the coastal road. Xellos had hurt the beast enough that it could no longer maintain a human physical form, but he didn't seem to be having as much luck with its natural physical form. He threw spell after spell at it and still was making no obvious headway. She pressed her hands against the bubble she was in and held her breath, desperately trying to see what was happening. Xellos' tall, dark, and slender form moved quickly, engaging the Monster, and soon she could no longer tell them apart. The air shimmered strangely around her, and she knew that he was attempting astral attacks. Easwied's astral form was too strong even for Xellos' great power, and soon the bubble she was encased in began to quiver and fade, a sign that Xellos' strength was waning. Of course it was leaving him- he was used to having an unlimited source of energy, and as a human was becoming drained quickly. she screamed, bursting away from his spell and levitating downwards. She landed just in time to see the Monster rip its claws down Xellos' arm, spraying the ground with his blood as his staff fell to the side and he crumpled. The human screamed in pain as Easwied slowly picked him up, Xellos' arm flopping uselessly at his side. Xellos narrowed his eyes at his opponent, the rest of his face remaining static and cold as blood ran down from his hairline and over his pale cheek.

she screamed, her raw cry ripping from her lungs as the Monster dug its claws into Xellos' stomach, slowly rotating its hand. Xellos bellowed in pain, gripping the the arm that held him by the collar weakly. His fingers tightened around the enemy appendage and he hoarsely whispered some words, and suddenly the whole world seemed to explode with light. Lina shrank back and covered her eyes, dropping Xellos' bag. He had tried a flare spell and failed. Her heart constricted in her chest as she saw his body sail through the air, landing with a wet thud on the dirt. Easwied howled and clawed at its eyes and she took the opportunity to dash over to Xellos' side. She dropped to her knees in the dirt beside him, reaching for him and gasping when her hands encountered warm, sticky dampness. She pulled her gloves away and choked back a scream as she saw they were covered with blood. she groaned between clenched teeth, pulling his limp form into her lap, heedless of the blood that stained her clothing. She gripped him tightly, feeling his breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps, his muscles spasming weakly. Don't you dare leave me, she moaned, tears welling up in her eyes. It felt as if someone had taken a knife and shoved it clean through her chest, shattering her ribs and removing all her organs. Her whole body was full of fearful aching, and she knew that she didn't want to lose him, not after what they had been through together. He meant something to her, he meant a lot to her, and as he faded from life's grip she knew that she cared deeply for him, maybe even loved him, after all their months together. He might not understand her heart, but he understood her mind and her soul, and that was more than any other man had done, and more than any other man would ever do.

Move, human, a deep voice grated, the sound ugly against the pounding of blood in her ears. She clutched Xellos to her tightly, tears still on the verge of spilling. You'll get your turn in a moment.

Don't discount us yet, she hissed, looking up at Easwied hatefully. The Monster laughed and she gazed down at Xellos, who slowly raised his arm and touched his bloody fingers to her cheek.

The pain is fading now, dearest Lina, he whispered. I'm sorry...there were things I wanted to tell you. . .

She gently laid Xellos back down, watching as his eyes began to become glassy. I'm the one who defeated Phibrizzo and Deep Sea Dolphin's minions, she said to the Monster, rage burning through her. No one hurt someone she cared about and got away with it. The last time someone had threatened the man she loved she had destroyed him with the power of the Lord of Nightmares, and this time she was far better prepared. It was as good a time as any to test out what she had learned in the Library of Lorander.

So, it was you, Easwied said with a toothy smile. I've heard of you.

It's the last thing you'll ever hear of, she snarled, and raised her hand.

I think not, the Monster growled, sinking into a crouch and launching himself at her in a whirlwind attack.

Bonds of darkness, heed my call and take strength from my spirit, she muttered, and began her spell.

Easwied collapsed mere centimeters from her face, sinking into the dirt, twitching occasionally. he hissed, fishlike eyes shut in pain.

I'll never tell, she said with a cruel smile, and gestured upward with her hand, casting the second part of her spell. Easwied screamed in agony, his physical body twitching every which way as she partitioned off his astral form. Her breath came harder as she sweated with the effort of controlling the spells. Give me strength, she whispered, closing her eyes and chanting her final spell.

the Monster shouted.

Ragna Blade! Lina screamed as the dark sword came into being between her hands. With a feral yell she raised the blade of dark energy above her head and brought it down with all her might on the prone form of the Monster. A tremendous screech echoed across the scorched earth, sparks flying everywhere as she cleaved Easwied's body in two. There was a flash of light before a dark mist began to rise from the Monster's form, and soon nothing of it remained but a charred patch of dirt. Lina fell to her knees, panting. It had worked, her spells had worked. She coughed, feeling bile and blood rise at the back of her throat. She had beaten a Monster all by herself.

She heard a wheezing noise behind her, and remembered that Xellos had considerably weakened the Monster before she took it on. she cried out, stumbling across the dirt to him. She fell several times before she made it to his side, gently pulling him into her lap.

He blinked up at her, trying to speak but unable to summon the energy. he finally managed to wheeze, and in his eyes she saw everything he wanted to say to her.

I know, she murmured. I know, now.

He smiled faintly and sighed, his head rolling to the side as his eyes slid shut.

she whispered, looking down into his face with horror. She shook him gently, but there was no response. Frantically checking his pulse, she found it weak and thready, but still there. A healing spell came to her lips and she immediately began to cough up blood. Oh no, she was too weak to cast the spell, she realized, feeling sick. She only had one chance to save him, and she was too spent to do it. She would lose someone she cared about simply because she didn't have the energy. A cold, nameless pain ripped through her and she curled around his body, which seemed to be growing colder by the second. The ground was so soaked with his blood that she could actually hear it squelch beneath her as she shifted her weight, and she choked back the tears she felt burning behind her eyes. She cradled his head in her arms as she rocked back and forth. It couldn't end this way, it just couldn't..

It was then that she remembered his bag and the stones he had pressed into her hand. She set him down gently and crawled over to the discarded leather bag, desperately rifling through the compartment she had dropped the stones into. Her fingers encountered their smooth surfaces, and she took the whole lot over to him, setting them all on his chest. Please, hold on, she muttered, wishing dearly that she had Amelia's skill with white magic. She had to save Xellos, she just had to. she choked, putting everything she had into the spell, and the stones began to glow a sulfurous yellow.

The stones ignited with power, nearly throwing her backward. She shut her eyes against the wind created by the amplified spell, absolutely floored by the power of the talismans. Xellos' body twitched and rose a few inches above the ground, lost in the light from the stones. She didn't even wait for the stones to fade once his body dropped back to the dirt. Her power was completely spent, and she felt consciousness begin to slip away from her. Using the last of her strength, she crawled over to his still form and rested her head on his stomach, tightly gripping his hand.

she murmured, and blackness rose up and claimed her.