Yeah, I know, this is not really great work, but I keep going, because I
started this and don't want to leave it unfinished. Right. Here we go
again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------~*~-------- ------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the meeting with elrond didn't really improve this day. My oh my, being in rivendell is always a bore from the beginning. While I am aimlessly walking around in the halls of lord elrond I'm, of course, knocking right into haldir and elrohir who are engaged in some snogging in the hallway. Curses ! You can certainly imagine how my mood is nose-diving in this moment.
'Sorry .', I mumbled desperate to get away from that scene.
'Hey legolas, easy does it, don't be such a grouch . You look like you had just seen elrond in a hot tiger-striped thong .!', haldir says. 'Have you ?'
'No . no it's just . I'm a bit confused today. And anyway, why have you to be snogging right in the middle of the place where everyone can see it !?!?!' Oh shit, was this too emotional ? Seems so, it really does, haldir looks pretty shocked and elrohir is clinging to him with eyes as wide as dinner plates.
'Wow ! If you're not in a bad mood . we're still young, you know and not as stingy as you .!'
'Hey, I'm not stingy ! It's just because of elves like you that all the people think I AM F**KING GAY !!!' Yeah, see, I said it. This is my problem.
'No fair ! I actually think the Legolas/Aragorn slash fics were doing the most . Wouldn't you agree ?'
Right. RIGHT. 'But I gotta have some one to blame ! I'm sick and tired of all the guys treating me like a ho !'
'Know what ?' haldir smiles wickedly
'What ?'
'If you are just as straight as you say, you should probably go and get yourself a girl, watcha thinking ?'
Oh my. That was not what I understand under a solution. Just what I need : a drama queen messing up my nice and pleasant, very celibacy-like life! I can do better than that. I could jump of lordi elronds balcony and break my neck. Or offer to be a living practice-aim for haldirs archers. Oh, the possibilities.
'You don't look too thrilled by my great idea .', haldir remarks.
'You got it. Would there be no other way ?'
'You could tattoo a big S for STRAIGHT on your forehead. Or the whole word, in case somebody is thinking just S stands for Sex .' He chuckled to himself.
'You're so funny .'
'Hey, if you want to know how to prove yourself straight, why do you ask me? I've never tried. Why don't you get advice from someone who really IS straight ?'
'Uhm, yeah, right, I guess that's a good idea. You know an OC except elrond who is not gay ?'
'Why don't you want to go to elrond ?'
'He's busy .' Way too much temptation to really borrow those ~hot~ clothes, if you can call those clothes.
'Hard to say, then. How about aragorn? Getting married is a good sign if you're looking for someone straight.'
'Yeah. Thanks, good idea. And now move to some more private place . please .'
'Your wish shall be our command .', haldir calls while I'm walking around to look for aragorn.
Probably I should marry someone, too. But who? The girls are really running out. There'd be Eowyn, but I don't like her, she doesn't like me, so why waste our time? Who else? Has Arwen some pretty sister ? I should ask the next time I see her. Really, I should.
KNOCK. Again I'm right crushing into someone standing right in my way. Hell no, it's glorfindel. He's dressed in riding clothes, looks like he wants to go out. Right, I don't want to keep him from what ever he wants to do.
'Hey legolas wait .', he says right when I try to hurry on.
'What's it ?'
'I wanted to say I'm sorry.'
'S-Sorry ? Why? You didn't do anything !'
'For asking if you were really out of bonds for me. That was stupid.'
'Oh, well. That's nothing. But if you are sorry the apology is accepted .'
I walk in the direction of the garden and the stables. Glorfindel keeps up with me.
'You know, it was just because I was actually kind of shocked by what elrond hides in his halls. I wonder what they are for.'
'For wearing them and looking nice ?'
'Would you think I'd look good in those ?'
Hey, stop, where is this conversation going ? I'm supposed to imagine glorfindel in a ~sexy~ outfit like that and tell him what I think it would look like ? No way !
'I think you're looking a lot better in those nice dress robes of yours .'
Uhm, hello, brain ? Would you cooperate or let everything you think just gush out my mouth ? How can you talk about that with ~him~ ? And do I really think he looks nice in those robes ? Of course I do, nice is not too gay of a word to describe other men wearing clothes. But gorgeous ? I guess it's okay to think he looks gorgeous. And he really does.
'You really think so ?'
'Mmh .'
'You're thinking about something .' It was a statement, not a question. 'I know that look on your face .'
Does he? How can he? Yes, because of elronds orders we were working together every now and then, but I was never thinking about anything else than hating glorfindel that time. He can't know.
'How do you know ? You've never seen me in that state .'
Glorfindel suddenly stops and blushes in a furious shade of crimson. Hell, has he been spying on me ? That moron, how can he do that to me ! I don't wanna know what else he saw ! My life just burns to cinders before my eyes. Nooo ! What if he heard me singing lovesongs in the shower or saw my cat-walking naked in front of the mirror or . I don't dare to think about more. I want to die. Right here and now. This is SO embarrassing. (Note here : I don't need a drama queen because I am one myself, don't you think). I take a step towards him and he covers against the wall and hangs his head.
'You've been WATCHING MEEEEE ?????????' Way too emotional. A 15 on a scale from 2 to 9.
'I . No, not what you think . I . I just .'
Why do I know this sight of him stuttering and panicking like that? Did I see it somewhere before ? This morning probably? His eyes are darting around the corridor searching for a way to escape, but finding none. In the end he looks straight into my eyes with that cute puzzled and embarrassed expression. I'm feeling dizzy. I think he's cute when he's embarrassed and I'm dizzy, because I like it ? Please, don't tell me .
'You are going to hate me more than you already do, don't you ?'
I'm unable to express myself. He made me ~speechless~ ! Can you believe it!
'Legolas ? Are you all right !'
'No, I'm not ! I think you're cute, I can't believe it. Noo ! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!'
'Hey, it's not that bad. Cute is nothing, really.'
He looks at me with those wonderful dark eyes and winks.
'And you've been spying on me.' I say and I wanted it to sound angry, but it comes out rather lovingly.
'I'm sorry.'
'No, you are not.' I'm sure he isn't, I bet he had fun. 'You were not watching my bedroom, were you ?'
'And if ?', he replies weakly.
'What were you trying to do ? . I thought . I really thought you'd rather be watching haldir !'
'I was watching him . until I saw you .'
STOP. This is getting way too personal. Err, heart, would you please stop fluttering and skipping like that ? And body, now, move it or you'll never find aragorn.
'Well . I don't think I'm gonna hate you. But you've to promise you're not going to do it again.'
I take a step back from him so he is not cornered anymore.
'Promise ,' he answers.
Yes, sure. He will certainly do what you want .
'So . nothing out of the ordinary. But I gotta run now. I was looking for aragorn, because I really need to ask him something.'
'Uhm . I guess he's in his room. I saw him running there a few minutes before you knocked me over.'
'Oh, right then. Thanks.'
I run the way to aragorns room and I feel that glorfindel is watching me until I'm disappeared. This day is so confusing. This morning I was sure that glorfindel was my least favorite person in the whole wide world and now I'm not so sure anymore. How could that happen ? Probably it was, because I was giving it too much thought. And why is he watching me instead of haldir
Aragorn really is in his room, trying on his robes for the wedding. He throws a laughing fit when I tell him what bothers me.
'Thank you, legolas. I really needed a good laugh,' he coughs, dabbing the tears from his eyes. 'I don't think I can help you with that matter. You know, I never needed to prove anything to myself, I knew the way it was all the time. Why don't you ask someone gay to help you ? They certainly know .'
'I already asked haldir and he said he didn't know ,' I say.
'Well, probably there is no solution for your problem then. Just wait and see .'
Aragorn looks into his mirror and adjusts his robes carefully.
'What do you think. Do I look good ?'
I feel my brow arching, though I'm not making it do that. Why does he have to ask me that question in my state ? Yeah sure, he looks sorta nice but not nearly as gorgeous and drop-dead sexy as glorf. as I do.
'You look great . What does arwen where ?'
'I'm not allowed to see her wedding dress before the wedding, don't you know .'
'No I don't. It's such a weird human tradition, isn't it ?'
'Might be .'
Aragorn seems pleased with his robes know and settles in a chair in front of the grate. To my personal amazement there is a fire burning in there, despite elrond cutting the costs. I settle in a chair opposite him.
'Now, legolas, just tell me how you came to the conclusion that you need a proof that you are straight. I feel that this is going to be a good one.'
Well, I guess I have no choice and I just start to tell him the whole story of this strange day from the beginning to right now. Probably he might think of something to help me, while I'm talking. Hopefully he does.
-----------------------------------------------------------------~*~-------- ------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the meeting with elrond didn't really improve this day. My oh my, being in rivendell is always a bore from the beginning. While I am aimlessly walking around in the halls of lord elrond I'm, of course, knocking right into haldir and elrohir who are engaged in some snogging in the hallway. Curses ! You can certainly imagine how my mood is nose-diving in this moment.
'Sorry .', I mumbled desperate to get away from that scene.
'Hey legolas, easy does it, don't be such a grouch . You look like you had just seen elrond in a hot tiger-striped thong .!', haldir says. 'Have you ?'
'No . no it's just . I'm a bit confused today. And anyway, why have you to be snogging right in the middle of the place where everyone can see it !?!?!' Oh shit, was this too emotional ? Seems so, it really does, haldir looks pretty shocked and elrohir is clinging to him with eyes as wide as dinner plates.
'Wow ! If you're not in a bad mood . we're still young, you know and not as stingy as you .!'
'Hey, I'm not stingy ! It's just because of elves like you that all the people think I AM F**KING GAY !!!' Yeah, see, I said it. This is my problem.
'No fair ! I actually think the Legolas/Aragorn slash fics were doing the most . Wouldn't you agree ?'
Right. RIGHT. 'But I gotta have some one to blame ! I'm sick and tired of all the guys treating me like a ho !'
'Know what ?' haldir smiles wickedly
'What ?'
'If you are just as straight as you say, you should probably go and get yourself a girl, watcha thinking ?'
Oh my. That was not what I understand under a solution. Just what I need : a drama queen messing up my nice and pleasant, very celibacy-like life! I can do better than that. I could jump of lordi elronds balcony and break my neck. Or offer to be a living practice-aim for haldirs archers. Oh, the possibilities.
'You don't look too thrilled by my great idea .', haldir remarks.
'You got it. Would there be no other way ?'
'You could tattoo a big S for STRAIGHT on your forehead. Or the whole word, in case somebody is thinking just S stands for Sex .' He chuckled to himself.
'You're so funny .'
'Hey, if you want to know how to prove yourself straight, why do you ask me? I've never tried. Why don't you get advice from someone who really IS straight ?'
'Uhm, yeah, right, I guess that's a good idea. You know an OC except elrond who is not gay ?'
'Why don't you want to go to elrond ?'
'He's busy .' Way too much temptation to really borrow those ~hot~ clothes, if you can call those clothes.
'Hard to say, then. How about aragorn? Getting married is a good sign if you're looking for someone straight.'
'Yeah. Thanks, good idea. And now move to some more private place . please .'
'Your wish shall be our command .', haldir calls while I'm walking around to look for aragorn.
Probably I should marry someone, too. But who? The girls are really running out. There'd be Eowyn, but I don't like her, she doesn't like me, so why waste our time? Who else? Has Arwen some pretty sister ? I should ask the next time I see her. Really, I should.
KNOCK. Again I'm right crushing into someone standing right in my way. Hell no, it's glorfindel. He's dressed in riding clothes, looks like he wants to go out. Right, I don't want to keep him from what ever he wants to do.
'Hey legolas wait .', he says right when I try to hurry on.
'What's it ?'
'I wanted to say I'm sorry.'
'S-Sorry ? Why? You didn't do anything !'
'For asking if you were really out of bonds for me. That was stupid.'
'Oh, well. That's nothing. But if you are sorry the apology is accepted .'
I walk in the direction of the garden and the stables. Glorfindel keeps up with me.
'You know, it was just because I was actually kind of shocked by what elrond hides in his halls. I wonder what they are for.'
'For wearing them and looking nice ?'
'Would you think I'd look good in those ?'
Hey, stop, where is this conversation going ? I'm supposed to imagine glorfindel in a ~sexy~ outfit like that and tell him what I think it would look like ? No way !
'I think you're looking a lot better in those nice dress robes of yours .'
Uhm, hello, brain ? Would you cooperate or let everything you think just gush out my mouth ? How can you talk about that with ~him~ ? And do I really think he looks nice in those robes ? Of course I do, nice is not too gay of a word to describe other men wearing clothes. But gorgeous ? I guess it's okay to think he looks gorgeous. And he really does.
'You really think so ?'
'Mmh .'
'You're thinking about something .' It was a statement, not a question. 'I know that look on your face .'
Does he? How can he? Yes, because of elronds orders we were working together every now and then, but I was never thinking about anything else than hating glorfindel that time. He can't know.
'How do you know ? You've never seen me in that state .'
Glorfindel suddenly stops and blushes in a furious shade of crimson. Hell, has he been spying on me ? That moron, how can he do that to me ! I don't wanna know what else he saw ! My life just burns to cinders before my eyes. Nooo ! What if he heard me singing lovesongs in the shower or saw my cat-walking naked in front of the mirror or . I don't dare to think about more. I want to die. Right here and now. This is SO embarrassing. (Note here : I don't need a drama queen because I am one myself, don't you think). I take a step towards him and he covers against the wall and hangs his head.
'You've been WATCHING MEEEEE ?????????' Way too emotional. A 15 on a scale from 2 to 9.
'I . No, not what you think . I . I just .'
Why do I know this sight of him stuttering and panicking like that? Did I see it somewhere before ? This morning probably? His eyes are darting around the corridor searching for a way to escape, but finding none. In the end he looks straight into my eyes with that cute puzzled and embarrassed expression. I'm feeling dizzy. I think he's cute when he's embarrassed and I'm dizzy, because I like it ? Please, don't tell me .
'You are going to hate me more than you already do, don't you ?'
I'm unable to express myself. He made me ~speechless~ ! Can you believe it!
'Legolas ? Are you all right !'
'No, I'm not ! I think you're cute, I can't believe it. Noo ! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!'
'Hey, it's not that bad. Cute is nothing, really.'
He looks at me with those wonderful dark eyes and winks.
'And you've been spying on me.' I say and I wanted it to sound angry, but it comes out rather lovingly.
'I'm sorry.'
'No, you are not.' I'm sure he isn't, I bet he had fun. 'You were not watching my bedroom, were you ?'
'And if ?', he replies weakly.
'What were you trying to do ? . I thought . I really thought you'd rather be watching haldir !'
'I was watching him . until I saw you .'
STOP. This is getting way too personal. Err, heart, would you please stop fluttering and skipping like that ? And body, now, move it or you'll never find aragorn.
'Well . I don't think I'm gonna hate you. But you've to promise you're not going to do it again.'
I take a step back from him so he is not cornered anymore.
'Promise ,' he answers.
Yes, sure. He will certainly do what you want .
'So . nothing out of the ordinary. But I gotta run now. I was looking for aragorn, because I really need to ask him something.'
'Uhm . I guess he's in his room. I saw him running there a few minutes before you knocked me over.'
'Oh, right then. Thanks.'
I run the way to aragorns room and I feel that glorfindel is watching me until I'm disappeared. This day is so confusing. This morning I was sure that glorfindel was my least favorite person in the whole wide world and now I'm not so sure anymore. How could that happen ? Probably it was, because I was giving it too much thought. And why is he watching me instead of haldir
Aragorn really is in his room, trying on his robes for the wedding. He throws a laughing fit when I tell him what bothers me.
'Thank you, legolas. I really needed a good laugh,' he coughs, dabbing the tears from his eyes. 'I don't think I can help you with that matter. You know, I never needed to prove anything to myself, I knew the way it was all the time. Why don't you ask someone gay to help you ? They certainly know .'
'I already asked haldir and he said he didn't know ,' I say.
'Well, probably there is no solution for your problem then. Just wait and see .'
Aragorn looks into his mirror and adjusts his robes carefully.
'What do you think. Do I look good ?'
I feel my brow arching, though I'm not making it do that. Why does he have to ask me that question in my state ? Yeah sure, he looks sorta nice but not nearly as gorgeous and drop-dead sexy as glorf. as I do.
'You look great . What does arwen where ?'
'I'm not allowed to see her wedding dress before the wedding, don't you know .'
'No I don't. It's such a weird human tradition, isn't it ?'
'Might be .'
Aragorn seems pleased with his robes know and settles in a chair in front of the grate. To my personal amazement there is a fire burning in there, despite elrond cutting the costs. I settle in a chair opposite him.
'Now, legolas, just tell me how you came to the conclusion that you need a proof that you are straight. I feel that this is going to be a good one.'
Well, I guess I have no choice and I just start to tell him the whole story of this strange day from the beginning to right now. Probably he might think of something to help me, while I'm talking. Hopefully he does.
