A/N: Insert the standard "I don't claim the rights to these characters" spiel here. Beware, this story contains adult themes (i.e., big chunks o' lemon) and gets VERY explicit at times. Read at your own risk. Also, this story only covers the exploits of Lina and Xellos. Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis' adventures during the time frame that "Penance" takes place are detailed in a fic called "Pursuit of Merit", which is about halfway written but probably won't be done until '05. "Penance" is followed up by "Reckoning" and then "Absolution" series, all of which are available here on fanfiction.net.

You can view this story in its un-chaptered form at my website, also. I went back and broke it up into chapters because I was getting complaints that it was too long. Sorry if the chapter divisions seem awkward in places, or if some chapters seem too short or too long. That's what happens when you write a story without chapter divisions, and then later chop it up.

Reviews are welcome!!

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For a moment he thought he had died, then realized that he suddenly had the power to rescue her. Whatever happened didn't matter, he had to push through the anguish and save her. She was the only thing that mattered, and so he summoned his energy and pushed, feeling his physical body dissipate into nothingness. Then she was there, her small astral form pulsing with expended energy, and he knew she was trapped. He went to her as quickly as he could, popping from the astral into the physical before he even knew what had happened. There she was, pressed against the wall, teeth bared as rocks began to rain down upon her. Without thinking he stepped in front of her and picked her up like a child. she breathed, then shut her eyes and winced as the ruins crumbled on top of them. He clenched his teeth and pushed again, and the next thing he knew they were standing on the bare hilltop, watching clouds of dust rise from the forest floor as the ruins caved in upon themselves.

He set her gently on her feet but did not let her go, instead pressing her to his chest as he began to comprehend what had happened. Xellos, a voice said in his mind, a voice he had known for centuries and always would know. Come home.

He scowled and shook his head, refusing, and slowly reached out with his power. Yes, it was still there. The vast power of the astral plane was at his disposal. His body was still wracked with pain as the sounds, sights, and smells became sharper than before at the same time that his other senses died. The light of the setting sun no longer felt quite so warm on his skin, and Lina's weight against him seemed inconsequential and surreal. His eyes flew open wide and he felt the aging of his body stop, the decaying of his physical form coming to a complete and total halt. He blinked once, twice, and then realized that precious little felt the same as when he had been human.

A shudder wracked his body and he released Lina, refusing to look into her eyes. He hung his head slightly, letting his bangs obscure his eyes in their shadows as the sun set. Lina breathed, still leaning against him. He could feel her breathing, feel her still clutching him, and he knew within the next few moments he would lose everything once again. It was the true nature of his penance, he decided, to feel the pain of losing humanity.

Lina looked up at him, concern written across her pert features when he didn't answer her. she asked softly. How did you do that? He still would not reply. She clutched at him more tightly, shaking him gently. Xellos! What's wrong? she cried, brows furrowing.
He closed his eyes and raised his head, wishing desperately that Monsters could weep. He waited until he felt her gaze on her face, then slowly opened his eyes. She gasped and put her hands over her mouth, shaking her head. Oh, no, she whispered.

I'm sorry, he choked. I'm sorry.

You're. . .again. . .

He closed his eyes again and looked away, unable to tolerate the raw look of pained shock on her face. he breathed. I am.

Xellos, the voice said inside his head, and he felt her pull calling him home, dragging his essence toward her against his will.

Change back, Lina said, looking up at him with moist eyes. Change back!

He was thankful for the deadened emotions of a Monster as he examined her carefully, memorizing every feature. Dearest Lina, he murmured, running his hand through her hair. Beautiful Lina.

Don't go, she demanded, eyes welling with unshed tears.

He felt his mistress' spell of compulsion sweep over him, and again he resisted it with all his might. He didn't want to leave her, not just yet. Damn his mistress- he wanted the choice!

Lina said softly.

He suddenly knew what spell he wanted to put into the rings he had bought at the festival. Reaching into his bag, he drew them out and settled them in his palm, holding the orihalcon chains in the other hand. He cast the spell quickly and slid the smaller of the rings over the chain, reaching out and fastening it around her neck. These rings are made of amurium, a metal that hasn't been forged for hundreds of years, he explained. Even when the metal was being made, it was rare for two pieces to come from the same forging. I managed to find these two at the festival we were at. They're priceless, you know.

She fingered the ring, looking down at it. she breathed again, tears silently streaking down her cheeks.

He felt his chest tighten, and he knew that if he was still human he would have been sobbing like a child. Amurium is valuable not only because it was so difficult to work and therefore rare, but also because it can contain spells, casting the magic indefinitely with the same potency. The orihalcon chain will keep the spell from leaking, so anytime you want to use the spell, simply slip it off the chain and hold it in your hand.

What spell? she whispered.

Lina, dearest, whenever you hold this ring in your hand and call for me, I will come to you immediately and no matter what I'm doing. This immortal is yours, he murmured, putting a finger under her chin and tilting her face up to his. He kissed her tenderly for long moments, then crushed her to him with all his might. Power was grand, immortality was invigorating, but nothing compared to what he had shared with her as a human. For you, I would have given up everything, he whispered into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut. If I am ever allowed to choose, I know the choice I would make.

With that he let her go, forcing himself to look deep into her eyes and realize that they could never be together the same way again. Goodbye, Lina Inverse, he murmured, memorizing her face. If you need me, I'll come.

And with that he vanished into thin air.