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won't you ?
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Okay, my evening was kinda full of events I didn't foresee. First the dinner that was more entertaining than I actually thought it would be and second the things that happened with Glorfindel. I'm still not all convinced that it was right to kiss him. Even though I did it again when he left me at the door of my room.
He wants to change me. I don't want to change. Maybe that means I don't want to grow up. Fine with me. Who wouldn't want to be a teenager all his life ? He wants me to behave decent. Decent and boring but I can't stand pretending to be already 3000 years old.
I'm in love with glorfindel but if I'm not going to change I will embarrass him and make him feel bad.
Oboy, what is all this chaos in me. I was fine. Last week I wouldn't have thought of anything that could ever change my life. But now, there comes glorfindel blasting in my heart and messes up everything that I had carefully planned to be a nice life.
What should I do ? He said he'd like me anyway but I'm not so sure he will. What if he changes his mind ? What if he's going to hate me because I'm not changing? Would he really tell me if he wanted me to change or does he think I'll take a hint? Oh my good, probably he's just playing with me!
Jeez, my thoughts are killing me. If I keep worrying like this, I'll worry myself outta my mind and I'm soon going to see little green dwarves dancing jive in underwear.
I guess, I got to wait and see.
No, probably I should do something about the situation. Maybe it's not one of glorfindel's worst ideas to change me a little. Well, hey, I'm not going to act against anything I promised me, so it might be worth a try.
For Glorfindel ? For him being pleased with me ? It's certainly worth a try. And a second one if I screw up. (Note: It's very possible that I do screw up and need numerous attempts to get it right.) And a third one after that.
How does one act like a grown up ? I don't know. (You might have noticed) I better ask someone. But who ? It's long after midnight already and I don't know anyone who would be up and about at this time of the night.
I have to wait.
I don't want to wait. I have to ask someone. Now. Now. Now!
I get out of bed and put my slippers on. It's dark in my room and I manage to knock over quite a few things. Ouch! There you see what the praised elven-sight is good for!
After I found the door I amble along the corridor to find someone to help me. Again.
Why not go to Arwen and ask some advice ? . Nay, I don't want to see Arwen with her cucumber-mask. My stomach already churns and writhes at the pure thought of it.
Aragorn ? Hell, no! He can be moody if you wake him in the dead of the night. What I grouch, I don't want that kind of 'I-say-something-so-you'd- go-away'-piece of advice.
Suddenly I just knock into something else. The something gives voice and sounds pretty much like this : 'Iiiipp!'
What was that? I grope around in the darkness.
'Hey ! If you want to live to see a next dawn you better get your hands off !'
'Eeew !', is my answer and I jump back in disgust. 'It's alive !' I don't really wanna know where my hand was before.
'Yes, indeed, it is ,' answers the voice in the dark sarcastically. 'And what are you doing out here, prince legolas of mirkwood ?'
Ohh ! You address me officially, I LIKE you.
'None of your business. Who are you, anyway ?'
'Can't you see me? I'm right over here.'
'I can't see anything. It's dark.'
'You're an elf. Elves can see in the dark.'
'I can't.' I pout because I feel unobserved.
'Were you just pouting ? Excuse me, how old are YOU ???' The other elf snickers in the darkness.
'I wasn't ,' I say hotly.
'Oh yes. You were. And it was cute. So cute. You always are.'
I blush until I can swear that I'm glowing red , be it dark or bright daylight.
'You know, I got a little problem and I was looking around for some advice.'
A chuckle right beside me. 'Everybody is asleep already.'
'You are not. What are you doing here ? Are you from Rivendell ?'
'No. I came for the wedding. But I was hoping that you would knock me down.'
'Haha.'
'No, okay. I couldn't sleep. What do you need advice on.'
'On how to behave like a grown-up.'
Laughter.
'You're in a good mood ,' I say.
'Now I am. But I don't know the answer to your question. Why would you wanna know.'
'Do you know Glorfindel ?'
'Yes.' It sounds venomous.
'I'm in love with him, I guess . and . and he wants me to be a bit more like an adult elf.' A sharp intake of breath from the elf somewhere close to me.
'He wants you to be ? And what do you want?' I can hear him forcing the voice to be calm but there is a slight strain in it now.
I'm quiet for a while. 'I don't know. I like what I am but nobody else seems to.'
'I do like you the way you are.'
'Really ?'
'Yes.'
I stare around in the darkness, trying my best to see him somewhere.
'You really can't see, hm ?'
'What was it, love makes you blind ?'
'I suppose so.'
'Well, I gotta find someone to help me.'
'Okay. Nice meeting you here, anyway. And spend a thought about it if you really really want to change.'
I wonder. Why should I do that ? 'Okay.'
There is the faint swish of a cloak and soft footsteps that fade away fast.
'Hey, wait, who are you ?' I call but, of course, I don't receive an answer. Sh*t.
It really had to be me who knocks into someone in the night and spill all his dumb ideas. I didn't even know the voice. Young, maybe my age or a bit older. A bit cracked on high notes but still nice and soft. And a foreign accent.
I shake my head and return to my room. Enough groping around in the dark for one night, I think. And I'm embarrassed by telling that strange elf my dumb intentions and I want to stop thinking about it by falling asleep. How could I just ask him ? Silly me.
I fall into an uneasy sleep, way to confused to have dreams about else than this night.
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Okay, my evening was kinda full of events I didn't foresee. First the dinner that was more entertaining than I actually thought it would be and second the things that happened with Glorfindel. I'm still not all convinced that it was right to kiss him. Even though I did it again when he left me at the door of my room.
He wants to change me. I don't want to change. Maybe that means I don't want to grow up. Fine with me. Who wouldn't want to be a teenager all his life ? He wants me to behave decent. Decent and boring but I can't stand pretending to be already 3000 years old.
I'm in love with glorfindel but if I'm not going to change I will embarrass him and make him feel bad.
Oboy, what is all this chaos in me. I was fine. Last week I wouldn't have thought of anything that could ever change my life. But now, there comes glorfindel blasting in my heart and messes up everything that I had carefully planned to be a nice life.
What should I do ? He said he'd like me anyway but I'm not so sure he will. What if he changes his mind ? What if he's going to hate me because I'm not changing? Would he really tell me if he wanted me to change or does he think I'll take a hint? Oh my good, probably he's just playing with me!
Jeez, my thoughts are killing me. If I keep worrying like this, I'll worry myself outta my mind and I'm soon going to see little green dwarves dancing jive in underwear.
I guess, I got to wait and see.
No, probably I should do something about the situation. Maybe it's not one of glorfindel's worst ideas to change me a little. Well, hey, I'm not going to act against anything I promised me, so it might be worth a try.
For Glorfindel ? For him being pleased with me ? It's certainly worth a try. And a second one if I screw up. (Note: It's very possible that I do screw up and need numerous attempts to get it right.) And a third one after that.
How does one act like a grown up ? I don't know. (You might have noticed) I better ask someone. But who ? It's long after midnight already and I don't know anyone who would be up and about at this time of the night.
I have to wait.
I don't want to wait. I have to ask someone. Now. Now. Now!
I get out of bed and put my slippers on. It's dark in my room and I manage to knock over quite a few things. Ouch! There you see what the praised elven-sight is good for!
After I found the door I amble along the corridor to find someone to help me. Again.
Why not go to Arwen and ask some advice ? . Nay, I don't want to see Arwen with her cucumber-mask. My stomach already churns and writhes at the pure thought of it.
Aragorn ? Hell, no! He can be moody if you wake him in the dead of the night. What I grouch, I don't want that kind of 'I-say-something-so-you'd- go-away'-piece of advice.
Suddenly I just knock into something else. The something gives voice and sounds pretty much like this : 'Iiiipp!'
What was that? I grope around in the darkness.
'Hey ! If you want to live to see a next dawn you better get your hands off !'
'Eeew !', is my answer and I jump back in disgust. 'It's alive !' I don't really wanna know where my hand was before.
'Yes, indeed, it is ,' answers the voice in the dark sarcastically. 'And what are you doing out here, prince legolas of mirkwood ?'
Ohh ! You address me officially, I LIKE you.
'None of your business. Who are you, anyway ?'
'Can't you see me? I'm right over here.'
'I can't see anything. It's dark.'
'You're an elf. Elves can see in the dark.'
'I can't.' I pout because I feel unobserved.
'Were you just pouting ? Excuse me, how old are YOU ???' The other elf snickers in the darkness.
'I wasn't ,' I say hotly.
'Oh yes. You were. And it was cute. So cute. You always are.'
I blush until I can swear that I'm glowing red , be it dark or bright daylight.
'You know, I got a little problem and I was looking around for some advice.'
A chuckle right beside me. 'Everybody is asleep already.'
'You are not. What are you doing here ? Are you from Rivendell ?'
'No. I came for the wedding. But I was hoping that you would knock me down.'
'Haha.'
'No, okay. I couldn't sleep. What do you need advice on.'
'On how to behave like a grown-up.'
Laughter.
'You're in a good mood ,' I say.
'Now I am. But I don't know the answer to your question. Why would you wanna know.'
'Do you know Glorfindel ?'
'Yes.' It sounds venomous.
'I'm in love with him, I guess . and . and he wants me to be a bit more like an adult elf.' A sharp intake of breath from the elf somewhere close to me.
'He wants you to be ? And what do you want?' I can hear him forcing the voice to be calm but there is a slight strain in it now.
I'm quiet for a while. 'I don't know. I like what I am but nobody else seems to.'
'I do like you the way you are.'
'Really ?'
'Yes.'
I stare around in the darkness, trying my best to see him somewhere.
'You really can't see, hm ?'
'What was it, love makes you blind ?'
'I suppose so.'
'Well, I gotta find someone to help me.'
'Okay. Nice meeting you here, anyway. And spend a thought about it if you really really want to change.'
I wonder. Why should I do that ? 'Okay.'
There is the faint swish of a cloak and soft footsteps that fade away fast.
'Hey, wait, who are you ?' I call but, of course, I don't receive an answer. Sh*t.
It really had to be me who knocks into someone in the night and spill all his dumb ideas. I didn't even know the voice. Young, maybe my age or a bit older. A bit cracked on high notes but still nice and soft. And a foreign accent.
I shake my head and return to my room. Enough groping around in the dark for one night, I think. And I'm embarrassed by telling that strange elf my dumb intentions and I want to stop thinking about it by falling asleep. How could I just ask him ? Silly me.
I fall into an uneasy sleep, way to confused to have dreams about else than this night.
