A/N: Insert usual disclaimer stuff here. This is the sequel to Penance and Pursuit of Merit.
Again, I went back and chopped this fic up into chapters. If you want to read the thing straight through, with no chapter divisions, just head on over to my site, Because I chopped it up, some of the chapter transitions may be strange. Sorry about that.
Reviews are always welcome and encouraged!
"Come on, Gourry, we'll miss dinner!" Lina cried, waving at him from up the path.
He smiled and raised a hand in acknowledgement, remembering fondly how he had thought she was just a kid when he first saw her. Even now, years later, she still seemed like a kid sometimes. She got so excited over things, and he really liked that. Lina never lacked enthusiasm, and the things that were important to him, like a soft bed and good food, were important to her, too. Of course, she cared about a lot of things that he didn't put much stock in, like wealth and power, but that was okay. They didn't need to be exactly the same. He loved her with all his heart, and after all the years they had been together, he finally knew that she loved him, too. Living with her was like a dream for him, especially since he could afford the houskeeping staff and kitchen staff necessary to keep her happy. He loved sleeping next to her and waking up next to her, adored the feel of her body against his as he made love to her, relished the feeling of her lips against his. She was the only woman he had ever considered wanting, and he knew that he could live that way for the rest of his life. He couldn't express the joy that he had felt when she had returned to him, but it seemed as if a huge gap in his life had finally been filled. He usually didn't spend a lot of time thinking about stuff, but he thought about her and their relationship all the time, and he couldn't find a single thing he thought was wrong with it.
Whistling to himself, he wandered up the path, sword swinging at his hip. It had been a lovely day with Amelia and Zelgadis, even if Lina had been really weird about their baby. It had been the first time they'd seen the boy, but Lina hadn't wanted to have anything to do with him. He was really glad that he hadn't been pressuring her to have children. He knew she didn't want them and would never have them with him, and he had learned to accept that. If it meant that Lina would be in his life, he found he was willing to accept a lot of things.
Filled with joy, he smiled as he saw their house come into view. Lina had gone on ahead, and was standing a couple of hundred feet from the house like a statue in the middle of the road. Gourry frowned and picked up his pace a bit. Everything about Lina's posture was telling him that something was wrong. He wrapped his hand around the handle of his sword and advanced warily, but he couldn't see what was the matter. As he pulled even with her he realized she was staring at something, and he focused his attention in the same place. Someone was standing in their front yard, just inside of the gate, and was holding something small that squirmed from time to time. He scratched his head, knowing he recognized the person from somwhere, but not able to remember exactly where at the moment.
A split second later it came to him. "Hey, isn't that Xellos?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and turning to Lina.
Lina didn't answer and he moved around to see her face better, frowning when he saw her expression. Her skin had gone very white and her lips were pursed. One of her hands was curled tightly around the weird ring she wore at her neck.
Gourry sighed and scratched his head again, not understanding why she was acting so strangely. "Are you okay, Lina?" he asked, putting a heavy hand on her shoulder. He was surprised as she backed up into him, pressing her body against him as if asking him for protection. Gourry swallowed. He didn't know why Xellos had dropped by, or why Lina seemed so afraid of him. Lina had never been afraid of Xellos, and it seemed odd that she would start then.
"Hi, Xellos!" he called out, finally tired of the strange way the two were staring at one another. "How are you doing? We haven't seen you in a long time!"
Xellos stood as still as Lina, not replying or otherwise acknowledging Gourry's greetings. The thing in his arms shifted, though, and Gourry saw it was a baby.
"Hey, Lina," Gourry said. "Xellos has a baby with him! Let's go find out where he got it!" He took her hand and tried to move forward, but she wouldn't budge. He could probably pick her up and move her if he wanted to, but he wasn't certain he felt like getting blasted at that particular moment. Well, perhaps Xellos would be more personable. The fellow was never really rude, after all.
He left Lina standing in the road and made his way to the gate of his house, ready for anything. Gourry didn't know if Xellos had come to fight, but if he did, Gourry wasn't certain that even his new sword could withstand it. He didn't know how, but he could tell Xellos was very, very strong, almost as strong as that Hellmaster kid they had fought years ago. Hellmaster had almost killed Lina, had almost killed them all, and he wasn't going to let Xellos try the same thing. "Hello, Xellos," he said, walking up to the trickster priest. "It's a beautiful day."
Xellos glanced in his direction briefly. "Hello, Master Gourry. It is a perfect day," he replied, but his eyes were fixed upon nothing but Lina.
Gourry found he didn't really like the way the fellow was looking at Lina, but he knew Lina could take care of herself. "It's dry, though," Gourry continued, trying to be friendly. "We need rain."
"Oh, I'm sure there will be a storm any minute," Xellos replied crypically, still staring at Lina, who was standing in the same exact spot in the road.
Gourry looked up at the sky, which was perfect and plue. "But I don't see any clouds," Gourry said, shading his eyes.
"Just wait," Xellos said, his voice pitched so low Gourry had to strain to hear him.
"Lina, come talk with us!" Gourry cried, waving her over. "You're being rude!"
Xellos chuckled as Lina walked foward stiffy, every single angle of her body showin her reluctance. "Hello, Miss Lina," Xellos said, his expression strange as she came closer.
"Xellos," Lina hissed, face ashen.
"So this is where you've been," Xellos replied, looking around, occasionally shifting the baby on his hip. "It seems very-well appointed."
"And where have you been?" she snapped. "What do you think you're doing here?"
If it had been anybody but Xellos, Gourry would have sworn that her words stung. He thought for a moment that some awful feeling came over the priest, but he shrugged it off. Xellos didn't get upset over stuff like that. "I came to introduce you introduce someone to Gourry," Xellos replied, voice like silk.
Lina's eyes grew wide and her hands began to tremble. "No," she whispered. "Xellos, I'm happy here. Please just leave us alone."
"I just thought he should know. You see, I've turned over a new leaf, Miss Lina. No secrets, not anymore."
"Xellos!" Lina shouted, hands curling into fists.
Gourry scowled. He wasn't sure what was going on, or what Xellos was implying, but he did know that he was making Lina incredibly upset, and he couldn't allow it. What he couldn't understand, though, was why they were being so strange to one another. Why, Xellos had always been very nice to all of them, in his strange way and as much as he was allowed to be, and he had sometimes been a little envious of the attention Lina had shown the Monster. He had always thought there was a little something going on between them. Besides, Xellos had been weird in the past, especially during that whole fight with Deep Sea Dolphin's people, but that was years ago. "Xellos, I hope you'll excuse me for saying this, but I think you had better go. You're really upsetting Lina," he said.
"It was not my intention to upset her, Master Gourry," the Monster replied, still not taking his eyes from Lina. "I simply wanted to clear things up, that's all."
"Well, can we do this another time? I don't think Lina's in the mood."
"Gourry, shut up," Lina snapped. "Don't tell me what I feel like."
Gourry sighed. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I was just trying-"
"Get out of here," she growled at Xellos. "Get her out of here!"
"Miss Lina, I simply-" Xellos begain, but was interrupted by Lina, just as Gourry had been interrupted moments earlier.
"Damn you, I'm happy! I love Gourry, and I'm happy!" she screamed, and the little girl in Xellos' arms began to cry.
Xellos turned his attention to Gourry. "She loves you," he said flatly, eyes opening to reveal slitted pupils.
"I know. I love her, too. She's right, you know. We really have been very happy after she came back."
"Do you know where she was?"
"She wouldn't talk about it," Gourry said, then noticed that Xellos was wearing something around his neck. It was a ring, just like the one Lina wore. He was starting to feel very, very uncomfortable with the entire situation. "I didn't ask her, because it doesn't matter."
Xellos nodded, a humorless smile on his lips. "I see. Well, I'll just do what I came here to do and then I will be out of your hair," he said.
"Sounds good to me," Gourry said with a shrug.
"Don't listen to him, Gourry. Just make him leave!" Lina said angrily, but her face didn't seem angry, it seemed frightened.
"He'll be gone in a minute," Gourry replied. "Now what did you need, Xellos?"
Xellos looked down at the child at his hip, his face softening for a moment. Regardless of how strange he was acting, Gourry could tell that he really treasured the little girl. "This is Lecia," Xellos said, picking her up so Gourry could see her better.
"Wow, she's sure a pretty baby!" Gourry said, smiling as he tickled the girl's cheek. The baby giggled and squirmed, reaching out for Gourry's long, shiny hair. "Where did you get her?"
"Thank you for your compliment. I think she's beautiful, too," Xellos replied. "And she's my daughter. Don't you think she looks just like me?"
Gourry peered at the little girl. "You know, she really does! She's got your hair and eyes. You must be really proud!"
"Oh, I am very proud," Xellos said with a tender smile at the girl.
"Gourry, let's go inside. Xellos can bring the kid back some other time," Lina urged, putting her hands on his thick wrist and pulling.
"Hold on, Lina," he said, fascinated by the little girl. He loved babies, and this one was just adorable. He was considering asking Xellos if he could hold her when something occurred to him. "Hey, Xellos, I thought Monsters couldn't have kids."
"They can't," was the simple reply.
"Well, how can she be yours, then? I mean, she looks just like you, but . . ."
Xellos nodded, his customary benign smile on his face. "I can understand how you could be confused. Do you remember a couple of years ago when we fought Deep Sea Dolphin's minions?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I got in a lot of trouble for helping you all out, and my mistress punished me for it."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Thank you. At any rate, my penance was to be mortal. She turned me into a human and I lived like that for almost a year. That's when this child was conceived."
"Okay, I get it," Gourry said, cooing at the baby.
Lina tugged on Gourry's wrist more insistently. "Gourry, let's go inside NOW," she said, voice cracking. "Please!"
He frowned. Lina hardly ever said please, and she looked like she was going to cry. "Okay, okay," he said with a sigh. "I just have one more thing to ask."
"No," Lina said, pulling harder.
"Where's the mother? Did she die? Do we get to meet her?"
"Oh, yes," Xellos said, his smile widening. "Very, very soon."
"I'm really glad you found someone you could be with, Xellos," Gourry said sincerely. "It's a really wonderful feeling."
"I know," Xellos said, his voice sounding sad. Gourry didn't know that Monsters could be sad.
"Well, where-" Gourry began, but was cut short as Lina dashed past him. She looked distastefully at the child and threw herself against Xellos, balling her fists in the fabric of his cloak.
"Please, Xellos, don't do this," she pleaded, tears finally falling from her eyes. "Please! Don't you want me to be happy? Don't you care about me anymore?"
Xellos' cheerful expression cracked and he opened his eyes, looking down at her. He raised his free hand and stroked her hair tenderly. "You couldn't be with a Monster, I know that," he said softly. "But I didn't know what happened to you on the day she was born. Xellas punished me for months for that indiscretion."
"I'm sorry you got in trouble, but please don't take it out on us! It wasn't my fault she caught you!"
"Lina, dearest, I know, I know. She made me believe you were dead, though, and I had to find out the truth. I had to know what happened that day at Filia's, and when I finally arrived I found our daughter. Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Why didn't you call for me sooner?"
Gourry's eyes widened as it sunk in what they were talking about. He wasn't certain what was going on yet, but he had the distinct feeling he wouldn't like it. It made him very uncomfortable to see the familiarity with which Xellos was stroking Lina's hair.
"You were a Monster! Besides, I didn't want her, and I didn't know what happened to you. I thought it was for the best. If neither of us knew what happened to her we could live our normal, respective lives," Lina said.
Xellos shook his head, brow furrowed. "Lina, my life could never be what it was, not after you, not after being human. Xellas has released me from my duties for the time being, and I had to know the truth."
"But why, why did you have to bring her here? Are you trying to destroy my new life?" she sobbed, burying her face in his cloak.
"I didn't imagine our reunion would be like this," Xellos said softly. "I didn't come here to destroy your new life, dearest Lina. I just thought that Lecia should grow up knowing her mother."
"Lina, are you the mother of Xellos' child?" Gourry asked solemnly, feeling his heart grow brittle like thin crystal.
Lina turned a tear-streaked face towards him, then glanced at Xellos. Xellos closed his eyes and lowered his chin, saying nothing. "Yes, I am," she croaked, and broke down into heaving sobs.
Gourry felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and fall at his feet. The wind whipped across the lawn, blowing his hair into his face, but he didn't even notice. It was as if his entire body had gone numb. He just couldn't believe it. Lina, his darling Lina, wouldn't have his children, but would have Xellos' children. That wasn't even what bothered him, actually. What really hurt was the fact that she hid all of this from him. They had been together again for almost half a year, and not once would she answer his questions or give him a clue. She hadn't trusted him, that was what pained him. He thought love was supposed to be about trust. "Oh, Lina," he croaked, fighting back tears.
"I didn't come here to hurt you, Lina," Xellos said. "I came here to find out where things stood. But I see you haven't even trusted your stories with the man you love."
"Shut up! This is all your fault!" Lina screamed.
"We all are forced to reckoning with our actions sometime, Lina. This is your reckoning," Xellos said softly.
"No!"
"I'm not the one who hid my pregnancy from the father," Xellos stated calmly. "I am not the one who hid my past from my lover. You never told him that we lived together for nearly a year? That we were lovers?"
Gourry didn't think he could take it any more, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh, Lina," he moaned. "Why couldn't you tell me? Didn't you trust me?"
"It wasn't any of your business!" Lina shouted, pushing away from Xellos violently. "It was my past and it had nothing to do with you!"
"But you left me for Xellos!" Gourry said, spreading his hands and tasting the salt of his tears on his tongue.
"I did not! I left you because I felt like you were smothering me! I found Xellos on the road two weeks later, and we traveled for months before we became lovers!" she protested.
"So he's not lying," Gourry said, feeling as if he had been crushed flat against the earth. "Xellos is telling the truth."
"Lina, Lecia should know her mother, if only for a little while." Xellos said softly.
"Shut up, both of you!" Lina screamed, putting her hands to her head. "You'll never understand, ever!"
"Did you at least love him, Lina?" Gourry asked. "You still love me, don't you?"
"I could never love a Monster," Lina said, chest heaving with sobs.
Gourry glanced at Xellos, who looked oddly deflated. He was clutching his daughter tightly, and the little girl was starting to cry. "Lina," Xellos whispered, voice barely audible.
"Leave me alone!" Lina sobbed, turning and running into the house. Both men stared after her, struck dumb. A few moments later an upper-story window was thrown open and Lina took to the skies with a spell.
"Dammit," Gourry swore, wiping his eyes. He began to run after her, terror breaking over him. What if she didn't come back this time? Didn't she realize that he didn't care what had happened? That he loved her, no matter what? "Lina! Don't go!" he screamed, but he heard his voice die on the evening wind and knew she had not heard him. Hanging his head, he turned and trudged back to the house, which seemed to loom in front of him, dark and empty like a curse.
"She's run off again," he heard someone say, and he looked over at Xellos. He hadn't realized the man was still standing there. "I wonder if she'll ever realize it's herself she's running from."
Gourry heard the truth and shook his head. "I don't know and I don't care. I love her no matter what."
"You're lucky you have the luxury of meaning that," Xellos said, voice brittle, and Gourry turned around in confusion.
"What?" he asked, scowling.
"You're a human and always will be. You can say you will always love her and mean it."
"You were a human," Gourry said, examining Xellos for the first time. Something wasn't quite right about the Monster. He seemed off-balance somehow, as if he had cracked. He wondered if Xellos was still sane. He knew that if he had been yanked around like Xellos had, he certainly wouldn't be sane.
"I'm a Monster, now," Xellos said, fixing him with a hard stare.
Gourry shivered at the tone of Xellos' voice, wondering for the first time if he were in danger. "Did you come here to take her back?" he asked, slowly working his hand nearer to his sword.
"Lina cannot be 'taken'. She has to give herself freely," Xellos replied.
"Then why did you come here, really?" Gourry growled, getting ready to defend himself.
"I came to see where things stood," Xellos replied simply. "If I could get her back I would, but there are obstacles in the way." He took a step toward Gourry and the swordsman instinctively fell back, the hairs on his neck standing on end.
"I guess I'm one of those obstacles," Gourry said.
"Absolutely," Xellos said coldly, eyes narrowing. "And I would love nothing more than to destroy you right here and now. Nothing would taste sweeter to me than your fear as I ripped apart your very soul, no music more beautiful to me than your screams of pain." He moved so close to Gourry that they were almost touching, and Gourry felt sweat roll down his temple.
"I dare you to try it," Gourry said gruffly. "I might not have the Sword of Light, but I have a new weapon that packs quite a punch."
"Yes, I noticed that you now carry Scundabran," Xellos said softly. "But even that weapon would be nothing more than an annoyance to someone like me."
"We'll see, won't we?" Gourry growled, his sense of danger growing stronger by the second.
"No, we won't," Xellos replied, "because no matter how I itch to rid myself of the problem you pose, Lina would never forgive me for it. Never again would the remote possibility exist of her returning to me, and that's a risk I am not willing to take."
"There could always be an 'accident'," Gourry breathed, feeling trapped.
"You underestimate Lina," Xellos said. "She would know immediately. You might admire her and love her, but you do not understand her."
"And you do?"
"Yes," Xellos said, taking a step back and hoisting the baby up higher against his body. "I do understand her. You are fortunate that I'm not a human, Master Gourry, for if I were, she could not choose between us. What she and I shared during that year will never be matched, and because of that she would not be able to make a decision. I understand what that is like. If my mistress offered me humanity once again, I do not know if I could make the choice. Once you're immortal it is very hard to cope with dying with each passing day, and the loss of power and ability seems crippling. But I would give much to be able to feel love for my daughter and her mother, I would give much."
"It would be easy for me to choose," Gourry blurted.
Xellos shrugged, his gaze as cold as winter. "That's because you've never been anything else," he replied simply. "You have no basis for comparison."
"She will have to make a choice," Gourry said, moving his hand away from his sword.
"She won't choose me," Xellos murmured. "Nor will she choose Lecia. She abandoned Lecia forever. As long as Lina has you, Lecia will never have a mother."
Gourry's body became rigid as Xellos' words sank in. He felt joy at knowing that Lina would choose him, but then he saw Xellos kiss the top of Lecia's head. The baby giggled and grasped at the loose ends of Xellos' dark hair as he smiled down at her. Gourry sighed. Lecia really was a beautiful baby, and even if she wasn't his, he wouldn't mind raising her at all. He believed that fatherhood came from the heart and not from the blood, anyway. "If you leave her here, I'll raise her as my own," Gourry said solemnly.
Xellos snorted, the sound almost like a laugh. "Would you give your child up, Master Gourry? If the situations were reversed, would you really give your baby to me to raise, especially if that child was all you had left of your time with her mother?"
Gourry cleared his throat and scratched his head, looking at the dust of the path at his feet. "Well, no," he mumbled. "I'm just trying to help."
"There's nothing you can do, mortal," Xellos said coldly, meeting Gourry's eyes.
"She means everything to me," Gourry replied. "I'll do whatever it takes to set things right."
Xellos raised an eyebrow and shifted his daughter in his arms. "Right for whom?"
Gourry blinked and stood, silent. He studied Xellos' face carefully, catching a glimpse of the man's angular amethyst irises and slitted pupils before his eyes slid shut once again. The baby gurgled and wrapped her fists in the soft fabric of Xellos' cloak for a moment before grasping at the ring around Xellos' neck. "What's that?" Gourry asked with a gesture.
Xellos gently plucked the ring from his daughter's grasp and examined it. "I ensorcelled these rings so that Lina could call me whenever she likes. All I have to do is touch this ring to know where she is, what's she's doing, and what she's feeling. She merely has to think of me and I will be there at her side."
Gourry nodded. The ring was exactly like the one Lina wore around her neck, the one she would never take off. That ring meant a lot to her, regardless of what she said. If the ring meant so much to her, Xellos must have as well. For a fleeting moment he wondered what Lina would have done if Xellos had stayed human, then the thought was gone. "What do we do now?"
"I don't care what you do," Xellos said smoothly, letting his daughter once again grasp at the ring. "I intend to go about my business until Lina returns. I will return shortly before she arrives here in order to give you notice of her coming."
"That sounds fair."
Xellos raised a hand and held his daughter close, then the two were gone from sight. Gourry stood and looked at the place in the grass where they had stood. Lina's daughter was a beautiful little girl. She was a darling child that deserved to have a mother, but if Lina stayed with him, the two would always be separated. He wasn't certain that was right, especially when something could be done about it. He needed to decide who needed Lina more, he or the baby. A great sigh left him and tears formed in his eyes. He loved Lina with all his heart and soul. She was his life, and he didn't know what he would do without her.
