Okay, because I guess the last chapter might have had a little, tiny
cliffhanger I'm writing a new chapter even though I don't really have
time. And I got some reviews, too and that pretty fast! (*hop up and down
with joy*) So :
Thanks to anybody who reviewed!
And anybody who is going to review (again): what does snorky mean ? got a real nice review with advice for legolas to "dump damn glorfindel the snorky elf" (made me laugh, anyway) and I can guess what it says but I'm not sure. :). Help me out.
Now to my chapter 15 in which that dorky little imp glorfindel is completely absent. Don't think that makes it sappy. I'm no good at sappy stuff. =)
------------------------------------------------------------~*~------------- ---------------------------------------------------
'Oh yes, I will. I won't let you die here. I won't let you die at all, do you hear me ? You're not dying without me !'
'Yes, I hear you but I don't understand. What use am I to you? Why do you care ? This morning you were so mean to me. I thought you like me.' He sniffles a little and swipes a tear away.
'It was just . I just wanted .', I begin. I don't think it's good to tell him and I don't feel comfy in this situation. Darn it , I just never practiced to talk somebody out of killing themselves.
'Just wanted what ?', he asks, tears streaming down his face and this time he doesn't care to wipe them away. 'You just wanted to show me how unworthy I am to be with you. That's it, isn't it. You wanted to make me feel bad.'
'No. You know that's not true. I'm not like that. I just wanted you to be jealous ,' I say in a very small, childlike voice and look at him apologizing . I never knew that I could make so big, blue and innocent eyes than I manage to now.
'Because you don't like me. I was jealous. Because I'm just your moody toy ,' he whispers and the dagger comes to rest terribly close to his throat. I can read the panic in his eyes and also that he's not sure about what he's doing.
'Haldir, stop that ! You know it's not because of that.' I jump forward and stand in the water to my ankles.
'Why then ?'
'It's because . because I wanted to see IF you'd be jealous.'
'Why ? You knew that you would make me feel sad. And jealous !'
'But jealousy is a sign of love, isn't it? And I wasn't sure about you. And about me neither.' I cast my eyes down and walk around in the grass for a while, my feet cold from the water.
'About you ?'
'Yes, about me. How can I know who I'm in love with if you two keep making it so difficult for me ?'
Haldir looks at me in disbelief, his eyes still dark. 'I make it hard for you to decide who you're in love with?' He flutters his lashes, just a second.
'YES ! You DO ! Don't look at me with that cooing 'it wasn't me'-expression ! And so does glorfindel. And I'm the dumb teen-elf caught in the middle. I can't explain why somebody would want me and even less love me.'
'Don't worry. There are a lot of reasons . At least for me.' He shifts uncomfortably on his rock, a tinge of pink in his cheeks.
'Come down from that rock then and gimme that dagger. You can't really want to kill yourself.'
'Yes, I want to. If it isn't because I can't have you then at least because it's to embarrassing to announce suicide and be too timid to pull through.'
'No, it's not. You're a craven if you run away from your problems. You can't be more egoistic than in the moment that you commit suicide.'
'Maybe you're right. And I'm afraid to die. But then again, maybe it would be so much easier than stay around.' His hair shines like a violet aura around his head and his eyes would be frightening if I wouldn't know that he is not aggressive but sad.
'It's easier but even elves only have one life so why waste it ?'
Haldir hangs his head. 'Because you don't want me but glorfindel.'
'No .!'
'No ?'
'I . I meant . well, I'm not all that sure if I still want to be with glorfindel.'
'You're not ?'
'Actually I'd rather want to be with you, I guess.'
'You guess ?', haldir repeats breathlessly, his dark eyes boring into mine.
'I . I know.'
Haldir gets up on his rock, water dripping from his robes and the light of dusk making him look even more beautiful than he usually is , like a saint. 'You know what ?'
My voice is not willing to support me saying those words and it is barely more than a hoarse whisper when I answer : 'I know that I rather want to be with you because . I guess . no, I know that I've fallen in love with you.'
I'm flushing worse than ever before. And it is so true.
'Really ?', haldir asks quietly.
'Yes.' No, I'm not going to say 'really really' in this situation, it's far too casual for the matter. 'Yes, I'm sure I did.' It sounds like I'm ashamed of it.
Suddenly there is a splash of water, a clang of metal on stone and a few seconds later haldir emerges from under the surface of the water, dripping wet, his lips parted, his eyes fixed on me, looking way to sexy to be allowed. (I have a filthy mind sometimes.)
'Legolas .', he whispers before falling into my arms. 'I didn't think you'd even come.'
A wave of cold water hits me because his robes are soaked but I don't really care. 'What did you think you were doing here ? Just leaving me alone ?'
'I thought you'd rather want me to leave you alone.'
'Don't talk like that. It makes me sick just to listen. I found that note on your door and that was telling me that you need some attention right now. My attention maybe.'
'Only your attention.'
'Glorfindel's riders are looking for you, too. But I found you first.'
'What about glorfindel ?', he asks, his voice suddenly choked. 'Did you tell him ?'
'He knows it. I told you he's hiding something. And you said you'd help me to find out. You got what you wanted already.'
'You'd give it to me again ?', he asks sweetly.
A burning feeling is going down my spine and makes itself at home in my stomach. 'I.I can't. Don't be angry.'
'Okay. It's not that important to me.'
'Let's go home, okay ?'
'Hm. I need some dry clothes.'
'Yes, you do. You smell like a wet rat that crawled out of a sewer.'
'I know that from somewhere.'
'Well, this time it's you .', I smile at him and I am relieved when he returns that smile so cutely that I hug him so tightly that he gasps. 'I hope you're fine if I never let go of you again.'
'Don't worry, that's okay.' He nudges my face gently with his nose and than buries his face in my hair. 'You have a horse ?'
'Yes. If you don't mind riding with me we can be home a lot quicker.'
'Of course I don't mind you foolish elf ! Remember, I want to be with you, my cute little elf. As long as you are with me, I'm fine with anything .'
* * *
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
But nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
* * *
Reluctantly I let go of him but I grab his hand when we leave the lake. It's embarrassing enough but not as bad as usual and not as bad as the thought that has been sneaking into my head during our conversation: He belongs to me.
------------------------------------------------------------~*~------------- --------------------------------------------------- Yes, right, are you happy now ? Haldir & Legolas romance, something I always wanted to write. *mahaha* And I was stealing again, too. This time in 'Legolas Screwed-Up Teenage- Life' (aka Arrow In My Heart) : Metallica - 'Nothing Else Matters'. And : One review and I have 50. Woohooo ! I don't know for what I'm waiting then. 70, maybe. :)
Thanks to anybody who reviewed!
And anybody who is going to review (again): what does snorky mean ? got a real nice review with advice for legolas to "dump damn glorfindel the snorky elf" (made me laugh, anyway) and I can guess what it says but I'm not sure. :). Help me out.
Now to my chapter 15 in which that dorky little imp glorfindel is completely absent. Don't think that makes it sappy. I'm no good at sappy stuff. =)
------------------------------------------------------------~*~------------- ---------------------------------------------------
'Oh yes, I will. I won't let you die here. I won't let you die at all, do you hear me ? You're not dying without me !'
'Yes, I hear you but I don't understand. What use am I to you? Why do you care ? This morning you were so mean to me. I thought you like me.' He sniffles a little and swipes a tear away.
'It was just . I just wanted .', I begin. I don't think it's good to tell him and I don't feel comfy in this situation. Darn it , I just never practiced to talk somebody out of killing themselves.
'Just wanted what ?', he asks, tears streaming down his face and this time he doesn't care to wipe them away. 'You just wanted to show me how unworthy I am to be with you. That's it, isn't it. You wanted to make me feel bad.'
'No. You know that's not true. I'm not like that. I just wanted you to be jealous ,' I say in a very small, childlike voice and look at him apologizing . I never knew that I could make so big, blue and innocent eyes than I manage to now.
'Because you don't like me. I was jealous. Because I'm just your moody toy ,' he whispers and the dagger comes to rest terribly close to his throat. I can read the panic in his eyes and also that he's not sure about what he's doing.
'Haldir, stop that ! You know it's not because of that.' I jump forward and stand in the water to my ankles.
'Why then ?'
'It's because . because I wanted to see IF you'd be jealous.'
'Why ? You knew that you would make me feel sad. And jealous !'
'But jealousy is a sign of love, isn't it? And I wasn't sure about you. And about me neither.' I cast my eyes down and walk around in the grass for a while, my feet cold from the water.
'About you ?'
'Yes, about me. How can I know who I'm in love with if you two keep making it so difficult for me ?'
Haldir looks at me in disbelief, his eyes still dark. 'I make it hard for you to decide who you're in love with?' He flutters his lashes, just a second.
'YES ! You DO ! Don't look at me with that cooing 'it wasn't me'-expression ! And so does glorfindel. And I'm the dumb teen-elf caught in the middle. I can't explain why somebody would want me and even less love me.'
'Don't worry. There are a lot of reasons . At least for me.' He shifts uncomfortably on his rock, a tinge of pink in his cheeks.
'Come down from that rock then and gimme that dagger. You can't really want to kill yourself.'
'Yes, I want to. If it isn't because I can't have you then at least because it's to embarrassing to announce suicide and be too timid to pull through.'
'No, it's not. You're a craven if you run away from your problems. You can't be more egoistic than in the moment that you commit suicide.'
'Maybe you're right. And I'm afraid to die. But then again, maybe it would be so much easier than stay around.' His hair shines like a violet aura around his head and his eyes would be frightening if I wouldn't know that he is not aggressive but sad.
'It's easier but even elves only have one life so why waste it ?'
Haldir hangs his head. 'Because you don't want me but glorfindel.'
'No .!'
'No ?'
'I . I meant . well, I'm not all that sure if I still want to be with glorfindel.'
'You're not ?'
'Actually I'd rather want to be with you, I guess.'
'You guess ?', haldir repeats breathlessly, his dark eyes boring into mine.
'I . I know.'
Haldir gets up on his rock, water dripping from his robes and the light of dusk making him look even more beautiful than he usually is , like a saint. 'You know what ?'
My voice is not willing to support me saying those words and it is barely more than a hoarse whisper when I answer : 'I know that I rather want to be with you because . I guess . no, I know that I've fallen in love with you.'
I'm flushing worse than ever before. And it is so true.
'Really ?', haldir asks quietly.
'Yes.' No, I'm not going to say 'really really' in this situation, it's far too casual for the matter. 'Yes, I'm sure I did.' It sounds like I'm ashamed of it.
Suddenly there is a splash of water, a clang of metal on stone and a few seconds later haldir emerges from under the surface of the water, dripping wet, his lips parted, his eyes fixed on me, looking way to sexy to be allowed. (I have a filthy mind sometimes.)
'Legolas .', he whispers before falling into my arms. 'I didn't think you'd even come.'
A wave of cold water hits me because his robes are soaked but I don't really care. 'What did you think you were doing here ? Just leaving me alone ?'
'I thought you'd rather want me to leave you alone.'
'Don't talk like that. It makes me sick just to listen. I found that note on your door and that was telling me that you need some attention right now. My attention maybe.'
'Only your attention.'
'Glorfindel's riders are looking for you, too. But I found you first.'
'What about glorfindel ?', he asks, his voice suddenly choked. 'Did you tell him ?'
'He knows it. I told you he's hiding something. And you said you'd help me to find out. You got what you wanted already.'
'You'd give it to me again ?', he asks sweetly.
A burning feeling is going down my spine and makes itself at home in my stomach. 'I.I can't. Don't be angry.'
'Okay. It's not that important to me.'
'Let's go home, okay ?'
'Hm. I need some dry clothes.'
'Yes, you do. You smell like a wet rat that crawled out of a sewer.'
'I know that from somewhere.'
'Well, this time it's you .', I smile at him and I am relieved when he returns that smile so cutely that I hug him so tightly that he gasps. 'I hope you're fine if I never let go of you again.'
'Don't worry, that's okay.' He nudges my face gently with his nose and than buries his face in my hair. 'You have a horse ?'
'Yes. If you don't mind riding with me we can be home a lot quicker.'
'Of course I don't mind you foolish elf ! Remember, I want to be with you, my cute little elf. As long as you are with me, I'm fine with anything .'
* * *
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
But nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
* * *
Reluctantly I let go of him but I grab his hand when we leave the lake. It's embarrassing enough but not as bad as usual and not as bad as the thought that has been sneaking into my head during our conversation: He belongs to me.
------------------------------------------------------------~*~------------- --------------------------------------------------- Yes, right, are you happy now ? Haldir & Legolas romance, something I always wanted to write. *mahaha* And I was stealing again, too. This time in 'Legolas Screwed-Up Teenage- Life' (aka Arrow In My Heart) : Metallica - 'Nothing Else Matters'. And : One review and I have 50. Woohooo ! I don't know for what I'm waiting then. 70, maybe. :)
