THANKS for all the great reviews and sorry that it took so long again but
I'm seriously suffering of a lack of creativity. ;)
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Jesus, the encounter with lord Elrond didn't really cheer me up. The problem is there is a next one looming about in just ten minutes.
The Lord Elrond knows.
Everything (That people tell him).
And he also knows that I had a lot to do with glorfindel's weird laughing fit and furthermore with the weird behaviour that he took up recently because glorfindel told him that it was so.
'Under a million sobs and tears' glorfindel told him about 'what I had *done* to him' said lord Elrond when he came down to my place in order to offer me a visit to his study. 'He was really down and out and that because of you. I'm not going to forgive you.'
Forgive me for doing what? Asking glorfindel to step out of my way? Unlikely. I don't know why glorfindel acts so bizarrely. Did I actually ask for forgiveness? I can't recall. But good thing he tells me that there is no point in asking anyway.
Well, haldir has gone to change his clothes and he *hasn't* got an invitation to the study, even though he was there as well as I was. It's just no fair. Not fair at all. It's always me who gets into trouble.
I stomp about the room to get rid of the anger 'cause the injustice always happens to me and pity myself on this hard fate until it is time to go and see lord Elrond. The closer I get to the den of the lion the slower I seem to become. I can't find a satisfactory explanation for this phenomenon because I can tell that it's not fear. My legs are feeling like rice pudding because I'm riding too much and the hands are shaking because of to much coffee, or something that I drank for the lack of having coffee in middle earth.
Now I'm just getting less scared by thinking that a hysterical glorfindel might be attending the meeting as well. Legolas in the lions pit. What do you know, my legs just stopped walking. Jeez, how can this be?
'Legolas Greenleaf! You better get here and that fast!', a voice calls down the corridor. Lord Elrond's voice, I realize in terror.
What do I do, what do I do now? Oh my god! My body acts before my brain gets a chance to cut in on anything. I see and feel myself turning around and dashing off in the opposite direction. Well, body, that sounds like a plan, even though like a dumb one.
I can nearly see lord Elrond dumbstruck face right now and I think the same that he might probably just ask himself: 'What the hell is that moron doing there ?'
'Guards! Seize him !", Elrond bellows somewhere in the area I just left behind in a hurry.
It's probably bad luck that I'm not the fastest elf of all time, so that I get caught. Two really mean-looking guards catch up to me, grab my arms and drag me back to the lions pit, back to front.
I still can't really decide if running away has made anything better for me. If I took a wild guess, I wouldn't imagine that lord Elrond is very pleased with me right now. But so what? It's not he was pleased with me on any occasion whatsoever.
'Legolas Greenleaf,' I hear Lord Elrond say threateningly somewhere behind my back. Usually those two words don't impress me much because they have already gone through inflation but this time I have to carefully check if my pants are still dry after he said it. It didn't sound good unless somebody weird liked to be punished but I certainly don't.
'Lord Elrond ,' I ask and my voice sounded like a mouse just being trodden on.
'What the bloody hell do you think you were doing there ?' If I just knew that myself .
'I . I had . had forgotten something in my rooms ,' I answer and congratulated myself on coming up with such an extraordinary plausible excuse in such short time.
'Well, well, and what would that be ? You were running like your life depended on that something !'
'Well, I think I forgot to put my underpants on when I changed clothes,' my body says and my brain hides in embarrassment. Instead of congratulating me I slap myself mentally until it draws blood. Don't tell me I don't deserve it.
Lord Elrond stares at the front of my robes like it was something dead and decaying and something way more disgusting than a cover for somebody who wears no underpants. As a matter of fact I do wear some but it's a good thing that lord Elrond is hardly going to check if my excuse is true. I can hear his mind screaming 'Eeew!' and even his expression is not very 'respectable-elven-lord'-like.
'O-okay. That doesn't matter right now. Come in .'
I walk into his study that seems really uncomfy and gloomy to me. Probably because somewhere in here my punishment is looming about waiting to be charitably bestowed upon me.
'Glorfindel !', Elrond calls and looks into a small room next to his study.
My blood is running cold and I can already feel the blood clots bumping about in my veins. Why does glorfindel have to attend this? To give him some satisfaction that the culprit was apprehended and punished in front of his eyes? Right. Elrond is such a sadistic person, does he ever think about me? How unpleasant it feels to me? But no.
'He's here already?', asks Glorfindel and peeks into the study over lord elrond's shoulder, clinging to his robes like a child to his mother's apron. 'Why didn't you tell me to get ready?'
'There was trouble I didn't expect ,' elrond says with a poisonous glance in my direction.
I bet he just can't wait for the moment when I am gone and he can tell glorfindel about my flight down the corridor and about me allegedly not wearing any underpants.
Glorfindel shuffles out of his little room and sits down next to lord elrond a couch opposite to a very small chair which is obviously meant to be mine. I sit down and prepare myself to be a good audience for the following speech.
'Legolas, you know, why you are here.'
No, not actually. Nobody said a word to me. But elrond will next explain the matter anyway. 'Yes, of course.'
'Glorfindel is very (dot dot dot, let's think about how to express this best) aggrieved because you were pretending to like him.'
'I do like him ,' I answer. Not as much as everybody else but anyway.
'You know very well what I meant.'
'You meant I pretended to love him ?' The terms of like never strike me as a synonym for 'love'.
'Yes.'
No, I didn't. I always expressed sufficient doubts about our relationship and I didn't say I loved him in the first place.
'Well, it's true, I don't love him.' I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
Glorfindel gives a choked sob and lord elrond pats his shoulder comfortingly.
'So, why were you with him ?'
'Because at first he wasn't mean to me,' I answer very truthfully. 'I thought he actually liked me for what I am.'
Glorfindel jumps up from the couch and charges at me. 'I wasn't mean to you. I just did it for your best,' he shrieks and lord elrond grabs hold of the backside of his robes.
'Calm down, glorfindel ,' says elrond and tries to pull him back.
Glorfindel doesn't seem impressed by lord elrond hanging on to his robe but strains against him like a dog on a too short leash.
'You fooled me, it wasn't my fault !', he screams at me and his face is so close to mine that I can see the spittle flying about. Eew. I decently shift backwards in the chair as good as I can.
Suddenly his face disappears rather quickly when lord elrond jerks him back with what is probably all the strength he could muster. Glorfindel tumbles in front of the couch for a moment as if trying to get back to me again but a second jerk brings him down on lord elronds lap. For a moment there is shocked silence then both of them jump up and start brushing their robes as though trying to get rid of crumbs on them.
'Why the hell .', glorfindel starts.
'I would have if you hadn't .', lord elrond cuts in.
'I didn't. I just .'
'Of course you did. That's why I .'
'It just wasn't necessary to .', glorfindel says.
'Oh yes it was and .'
'Say you are sorry.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Okay.'
Both of them settled on the couch again as far away from each other as they possibly could without falling off.
I sit in my little chair and can't comprehend what just happened. I think that was the weirdest conversation I heard ever in my life. I realize that once in my life my body agrees with my brain because my mouth is standing open in amazement.
'Well,' says lord elrond as if that was nothing out of the ordinary. 'I came to the decision that you should be punished.' Again.
I sit there waiting. Elrond is waiting, so is glorfindel. We all look at each other.
'So. What is the punishment?', I inquire carefully after a long silence and a hundred exchanged glances.
'It's not really a punishment. To everybody else it might look like a treat but as this is you we are talking about, it is a big one.'
Elrond smiles at me wickedly.
'Because lord glorfindel here needs a little break from everything on your behalf,' he says. 'I think that it is only fair and square if you will take up his job in that time.'
I don't know what just happened. I feel so dizzy and nauseous. Could it have come worse? Yes, much worse. Like what for example? - I can't think of anything.
'Why me?', I whine. 'I'm not used to work I'm just going to screw it all up.' That's a great excuse. And the best thing : Everybody knows it's true.
However, it doesn't convince lord elrond.
'Well, if you're not doing your work right I will see to it that you are send back to Mirkwood and banned from rivendell, while we keep your little pet-elf here.'
Haldir! No way you can take him from me! I only just noticed that I won't give him away!
'You are excused,' says elrond. 'I expect you to work tomorrow morning at eight o'clock.'
'Okay.'
I get up and leave the pit with a disgusting feeling in my stomach. The world is so mean to me. The best thing to feel better about this is to complain about it. That's why my feet carry me right to haldir's place because he's the only one who would understand and also the only one who would open his door to me without flinching. And then, he's the only one I anticipate to see.
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Jesus, the encounter with lord Elrond didn't really cheer me up. The problem is there is a next one looming about in just ten minutes.
The Lord Elrond knows.
Everything (That people tell him).
And he also knows that I had a lot to do with glorfindel's weird laughing fit and furthermore with the weird behaviour that he took up recently because glorfindel told him that it was so.
'Under a million sobs and tears' glorfindel told him about 'what I had *done* to him' said lord Elrond when he came down to my place in order to offer me a visit to his study. 'He was really down and out and that because of you. I'm not going to forgive you.'
Forgive me for doing what? Asking glorfindel to step out of my way? Unlikely. I don't know why glorfindel acts so bizarrely. Did I actually ask for forgiveness? I can't recall. But good thing he tells me that there is no point in asking anyway.
Well, haldir has gone to change his clothes and he *hasn't* got an invitation to the study, even though he was there as well as I was. It's just no fair. Not fair at all. It's always me who gets into trouble.
I stomp about the room to get rid of the anger 'cause the injustice always happens to me and pity myself on this hard fate until it is time to go and see lord Elrond. The closer I get to the den of the lion the slower I seem to become. I can't find a satisfactory explanation for this phenomenon because I can tell that it's not fear. My legs are feeling like rice pudding because I'm riding too much and the hands are shaking because of to much coffee, or something that I drank for the lack of having coffee in middle earth.
Now I'm just getting less scared by thinking that a hysterical glorfindel might be attending the meeting as well. Legolas in the lions pit. What do you know, my legs just stopped walking. Jeez, how can this be?
'Legolas Greenleaf! You better get here and that fast!', a voice calls down the corridor. Lord Elrond's voice, I realize in terror.
What do I do, what do I do now? Oh my god! My body acts before my brain gets a chance to cut in on anything. I see and feel myself turning around and dashing off in the opposite direction. Well, body, that sounds like a plan, even though like a dumb one.
I can nearly see lord Elrond dumbstruck face right now and I think the same that he might probably just ask himself: 'What the hell is that moron doing there ?'
'Guards! Seize him !", Elrond bellows somewhere in the area I just left behind in a hurry.
It's probably bad luck that I'm not the fastest elf of all time, so that I get caught. Two really mean-looking guards catch up to me, grab my arms and drag me back to the lions pit, back to front.
I still can't really decide if running away has made anything better for me. If I took a wild guess, I wouldn't imagine that lord Elrond is very pleased with me right now. But so what? It's not he was pleased with me on any occasion whatsoever.
'Legolas Greenleaf,' I hear Lord Elrond say threateningly somewhere behind my back. Usually those two words don't impress me much because they have already gone through inflation but this time I have to carefully check if my pants are still dry after he said it. It didn't sound good unless somebody weird liked to be punished but I certainly don't.
'Lord Elrond ,' I ask and my voice sounded like a mouse just being trodden on.
'What the bloody hell do you think you were doing there ?' If I just knew that myself .
'I . I had . had forgotten something in my rooms ,' I answer and congratulated myself on coming up with such an extraordinary plausible excuse in such short time.
'Well, well, and what would that be ? You were running like your life depended on that something !'
'Well, I think I forgot to put my underpants on when I changed clothes,' my body says and my brain hides in embarrassment. Instead of congratulating me I slap myself mentally until it draws blood. Don't tell me I don't deserve it.
Lord Elrond stares at the front of my robes like it was something dead and decaying and something way more disgusting than a cover for somebody who wears no underpants. As a matter of fact I do wear some but it's a good thing that lord Elrond is hardly going to check if my excuse is true. I can hear his mind screaming 'Eeew!' and even his expression is not very 'respectable-elven-lord'-like.
'O-okay. That doesn't matter right now. Come in .'
I walk into his study that seems really uncomfy and gloomy to me. Probably because somewhere in here my punishment is looming about waiting to be charitably bestowed upon me.
'Glorfindel !', Elrond calls and looks into a small room next to his study.
My blood is running cold and I can already feel the blood clots bumping about in my veins. Why does glorfindel have to attend this? To give him some satisfaction that the culprit was apprehended and punished in front of his eyes? Right. Elrond is such a sadistic person, does he ever think about me? How unpleasant it feels to me? But no.
'He's here already?', asks Glorfindel and peeks into the study over lord elrond's shoulder, clinging to his robes like a child to his mother's apron. 'Why didn't you tell me to get ready?'
'There was trouble I didn't expect ,' elrond says with a poisonous glance in my direction.
I bet he just can't wait for the moment when I am gone and he can tell glorfindel about my flight down the corridor and about me allegedly not wearing any underpants.
Glorfindel shuffles out of his little room and sits down next to lord elrond a couch opposite to a very small chair which is obviously meant to be mine. I sit down and prepare myself to be a good audience for the following speech.
'Legolas, you know, why you are here.'
No, not actually. Nobody said a word to me. But elrond will next explain the matter anyway. 'Yes, of course.'
'Glorfindel is very (dot dot dot, let's think about how to express this best) aggrieved because you were pretending to like him.'
'I do like him ,' I answer. Not as much as everybody else but anyway.
'You know very well what I meant.'
'You meant I pretended to love him ?' The terms of like never strike me as a synonym for 'love'.
'Yes.'
No, I didn't. I always expressed sufficient doubts about our relationship and I didn't say I loved him in the first place.
'Well, it's true, I don't love him.' I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
Glorfindel gives a choked sob and lord elrond pats his shoulder comfortingly.
'So, why were you with him ?'
'Because at first he wasn't mean to me,' I answer very truthfully. 'I thought he actually liked me for what I am.'
Glorfindel jumps up from the couch and charges at me. 'I wasn't mean to you. I just did it for your best,' he shrieks and lord elrond grabs hold of the backside of his robes.
'Calm down, glorfindel ,' says elrond and tries to pull him back.
Glorfindel doesn't seem impressed by lord elrond hanging on to his robe but strains against him like a dog on a too short leash.
'You fooled me, it wasn't my fault !', he screams at me and his face is so close to mine that I can see the spittle flying about. Eew. I decently shift backwards in the chair as good as I can.
Suddenly his face disappears rather quickly when lord elrond jerks him back with what is probably all the strength he could muster. Glorfindel tumbles in front of the couch for a moment as if trying to get back to me again but a second jerk brings him down on lord elronds lap. For a moment there is shocked silence then both of them jump up and start brushing their robes as though trying to get rid of crumbs on them.
'Why the hell .', glorfindel starts.
'I would have if you hadn't .', lord elrond cuts in.
'I didn't. I just .'
'Of course you did. That's why I .'
'It just wasn't necessary to .', glorfindel says.
'Oh yes it was and .'
'Say you are sorry.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Okay.'
Both of them settled on the couch again as far away from each other as they possibly could without falling off.
I sit in my little chair and can't comprehend what just happened. I think that was the weirdest conversation I heard ever in my life. I realize that once in my life my body agrees with my brain because my mouth is standing open in amazement.
'Well,' says lord elrond as if that was nothing out of the ordinary. 'I came to the decision that you should be punished.' Again.
I sit there waiting. Elrond is waiting, so is glorfindel. We all look at each other.
'So. What is the punishment?', I inquire carefully after a long silence and a hundred exchanged glances.
'It's not really a punishment. To everybody else it might look like a treat but as this is you we are talking about, it is a big one.'
Elrond smiles at me wickedly.
'Because lord glorfindel here needs a little break from everything on your behalf,' he says. 'I think that it is only fair and square if you will take up his job in that time.'
I don't know what just happened. I feel so dizzy and nauseous. Could it have come worse? Yes, much worse. Like what for example? - I can't think of anything.
'Why me?', I whine. 'I'm not used to work I'm just going to screw it all up.' That's a great excuse. And the best thing : Everybody knows it's true.
However, it doesn't convince lord elrond.
'Well, if you're not doing your work right I will see to it that you are send back to Mirkwood and banned from rivendell, while we keep your little pet-elf here.'
Haldir! No way you can take him from me! I only just noticed that I won't give him away!
'You are excused,' says elrond. 'I expect you to work tomorrow morning at eight o'clock.'
'Okay.'
I get up and leave the pit with a disgusting feeling in my stomach. The world is so mean to me. The best thing to feel better about this is to complain about it. That's why my feet carry me right to haldir's place because he's the only one who would understand and also the only one who would open his door to me without flinching. And then, he's the only one I anticipate to see.
