The Madness Begins

By- BlackMoonDragon

Chapter 2- When Pink Ribbons Attack

Disclaimer- We own nothing 'cept ourselves and our clothes, and purses. If you sue us, all you'll get is some very beat up stuff 'cause we have no money.

***

The next morning, Bri was up and about as soon as the sun dared to shine its bright beams of light into her face. Needless to say she was not too happy and decided to share the joy with Cat. Bri quietly crept out of the room and looked for a place that had water. When she finally came upon such a place she drew a bucket of the icy cold water and tried to get back to her room. 'Tried' would be the key word in that sentence. She had just been wandering around Rivendell and had lost her way back to her room.

"Damn... And Cat said I have a sense of direction..."

"It is always interesting to see a lady talking to herself in the middle of the hall."

Bri spun around and dropped the bucket of water to the ground in fright. "Who are you?"

"Me?"

"No, your evil twin standing the shadows there."

"Hey, I may be his twin, but I am not evil, well at least not too much so," said a man who looked exactly alike to the one she had directed the statement to.

"Okay, it's early so I must be seeing things. Yeah, that's it. K-ness, when we left the room the sun was where? In front of us or behind us? It was in front, no, in back, no, front. No, back. Oh Gosh Darsh Barsh!"

"You do realize that you were referring to yourself in the plural, don't you?"

"I don't believe I has talking to you, you, you stupid sack of potatoes!"

"Hey! I resent that! I do not resemble a sack of potatoes, nor am I stupid!"

"Sure, that's what they all say," muttered Bri under her breath. "Now if you and evil twin boy over there will excuse me, I must get some more water then locate my room."

"No."

"'No' what?"

"We will not excuse you."

"I don't need you to excuse me. I was just saying that as a good-bye sorta thing."

"Actually, you do need us to excuse you."

"Why?"

"My, my my, humans sure do ask a lot of questions, especially the weird ones."

"You know, I told Cat not to say that so loud and now look what's happened... So are you going to tell me why you must excuse me?"

"I guess we should. We are Lord Elrond's sons, Elladan and Elrohir."

"You guys should consider yourselves lucky."

"Why is that?"

"Because you obviously didn't inherit those eyebrows your father has."

"You know, 'Ro, she has a point."

"I know I have a point. I mean he was talking to me and Cat last night and those things just kept shooting all over the place. Speaking of Cat, I really must get going."

"My lady, we don't know your name and we could help you find your room. And we haven't excused you yet."

"That is the last time I am ever asking to be excused... My name is Bri and if you want to help me find my room, you'll have to wait 'cause I need to get water, again, thanks to you."

"Bri? And you said your friend's name was Cat?"

"Yeah, and you know, you are really doing nothing to prove to me that you aren't a stupid sack of potatoes."

"Then you are the one father spoke of! Hey, 'Ro, does she resemble anything father said to us?"

"No, but maybe he only told us of Cat."

"Well, that was mean of him. Just go and forget about good ol' Bri. I wasn't the one who called him eyebrows. I just got confused over the whole Estel to Aragorn thing. But the nice ones are never remembered. I should just go around this place calling him Eyebrows all the time, see how he likes it when someone doesn't remember him. Stupid elf, thinks he's better than everything else."

"You better be careful with what say you about our father. He is the Lord of Rivendell you know."

"Yeah, I know... Let's go get that water and then be on our merry way to torture Cat."

"Why do you want to torture Cat so much?"

"'Cause she gave me the bed where the sun would hit first. So she gets to sleep in and I woke, gosh I don't know when, but it was still way toooo early!"

"And how do you know that she knew the sun's first light would hit your bed?" asked one of the twins. Bri still couldn't tell which was which.

"Because she's smart like that. Yes, she is a natural blonde and really stupid most the time, but she's still smart. Damn her to the fiery depths of hell... Well, let's get going."

"You really are a weird one, Lady Bri."

"God, how many times am I going to need to explain this? You do not need to call me or Cat ladies. We have the body parts and look like 'em but we act nothing like them and we detest the term 'lady'!"

"You really do need to calm down."

"No, I don't. I'm going now. Are you two gonna help me or what?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A half-hour later Bri, Elladan, and Elrohir entered the room Cat and Bri shared. Cat was still asleep, tangled up in her sheets, and snoring. Bri quietly walked over to Cat's bed and got ready to throw the water on Cat. Elladan and Elrohir were standing in the shadows, waiting to see what Cat's reaction would be. Bri then tossed the water all over Cat who sat straight up in bed and began yelling curses as loud as she could.

"Damn you, you little bitch! I was fuckin' sleep in my fuckin' bed and I was having a damn good dream!"

"Cat, shut up. There's two people I'd like you to meet. Elladan, Elrohir, get over here."

"O-kay, who the hell are these guys? And what the hell are they doing here? And why do they look alike?"

"I already told you who they were, they are Elladan and Elrohir, Elrond's sons. And they are twins and they're here 'cause I invited them."

"Well why the hell did you do something stupid like that?"

"Cat, calm yourself. All I did was pour some cold water on you."

"Some? That was a whole damn bucketful!"

"Okay, I'm sorry for that, but you need to be a little, um... more friendlyish right now."

"Why?"

"'Cause Elrond's sons are here!"

"So?"

"So stop being so bitchy! Be nice for one moment okay!"

"No."

"Um... Cat, Bri, it is almost breakfast time. We should get going."

"Breakfast? Food time!"

Cat jumped out of the bed and began jumping up and down.

"FOOD!!! I want my food!!!"

"Hey, 'Dan, does she look anything like how Dad described her?"

"Not really."

"O-kay, if I don't look how Elrond described one of us and Cat doesn't look like that either, than who did he describe?"

"I want my food! Let's go already!"

"We better get her something to eat. Come on, lead us to the breakfast food eating place."

Elladan and Elrohir exited the room with Cat and Bri following behind them. The two were shuffling along whispering to each other and occasionally shooting glances at the guys.

"What are you two whispering about?"

"Um... girl stuff!" exclaimed Cat."

"Girl stuff?"

"She means when we bleed at that time of the month," said Bri, trying to keep a straight face.

With that statement the two twins turned bright red and started to walk a little faster to distance themselves from the girls.

"That was a good one, Cat."

"Well, I don't want them to hear what we are really talking about."

"Yeah. O-kay, so how are we going to tell them apart?"

"I've been thinking, and I think we should have one tie half his hair back with a bright pink ribbon."

"Oh my gosh! That would be priceless. But how would we get him to wear it?"

"Tell him it's manly?"

"Yeah! Only a wimp would say no to it, right?"

"Yeppers."

"O-kay, I think the one I called a stupid sack of potatoes should get the ribbon."

"Why him?"

"'Cause he annoyed me more."

"Ah, always a good reason to make a man wear a hair ribbon. But, do you know which one is the stupid sack of potatoes?"

"No, but that problem will be solved right now. Hey, stupid sack of potatoes, what's your name?"

"How many times must I say I am not stupid and I am not a sack of potatoes?"

"Until I learn your name."

"It's Elladan."

"Oh right. So Elladan, me and Cat here still can't tell you and Elrohir boy over there apart so we have an idea. Cat."

"Right. Here in my hands is a nice pink ribbon, which would look lovely in your hair and also help me and Bri be able to tell who you are."

"It- its pink."

"Why yes darling it is. But you'd attract all the girls to you wearing it. And if anyone saw you, their first reaction to you would be to think how strong you are!"

"Really?" asked Elladan, disbelief evident on his face.

"Yes. Where we come from, pink is a manly color."

"Um, alright then. You can put it in my hair."

"Great!" exclaimed Cat. She ran up to where Elladan was and pushed down on his shoulders.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make you shorter so I can do your hair."

"Oh."

Elladan then bent his knees and became shorter. Cat pulled half his hair back and tied the ribbon in it.

"All done."

"Wowerz, you look hott," said Bri.

Elladan shrugged off her comment and then began to walk towards the breakfast hall. Cat and Bri gave each other looks, giggled silently, then continued on their way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Around 11 o'clock Cat and Bri were called to the Council. When they got there, they found an empty chair on either side of everyone's favorite elf, Legolas. People were still gathering and the girls were rather bored so they decided to find things to entertain themselves.

"Wow, man, your hair is sooo shiny. I just love shiny things, don't you? They juss glisten and glitter and oh so purdy," said Cat.

"Pointy, pointy, poke ear pointy! So cute. Poke. Poke. Poke!"

"Stop touching my ears!"

"But they're juss so kwel."

"And your hair is sooo shiny."

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite, or you will fall. Each race is bound this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo," said Elrond.

"A bit melodramatic, don't ya think?" Bri muttered to Cat.

"Yeah. Hey, look, it's a midget! I love midgets!"

"Cat, he is a hobbit, you should remember that."

"'Should being the keyword in that sentence."

"Oh sorry for giving your memory too much credit."

Cat was about to speak but Boromir stood up and cut her off.

" So it is true. In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark, but in the West a pale light lingered. A voice was crying 'Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's Bane is found' Isildur's Bane."

Boromir was now reaching out to grab the Ring. Three voices spoke out to stop him.

"Boromir!" yelled Elrond.

"Yo! Asshole, stop it!" shouted Cat.

"Ash nazg durbatulik, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulik agh burzum- ishi krimpatul," said Gandalf.

Boromir snapped out of the trance like thing he was in and stared at Gandalf.

"Wow, nice voice change," commented Bri.

"Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here in Imaldris," stated Elrond, anger seeping through his voice.

"I do not ask your pardon, Master Elrond; for the Black Speech of Mordor, may yet be heard in every corner of the west! The Ring is all together evil."

"It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor kept the forces of Mordor at bay by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"

"Bory, give your sob story a rest. Any dunderhead under the sun knows that no one can use the Ring 'cept Sauron."

"Bri, shut your pie hole."

"She is right. You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master," stated Aragorn.

"And what would a Ranger and a girl know of this matter?"

"More than you."

"This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

"Allegiance? Cat, does he mean for us to say the pledge?"

"No Bri."

"Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?"

"Nah, Legolas only said that for fun," muttered Cat.

"And heir to the throne of Gondor."

"Havo dad, Legolas."

"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."

"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it," said Gandalf.

"You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed."

"Well than, what are we waiting for?!"

Gimli got out of his seat, drew his ax and smashed it down upon the Ring. His ax shattered and he flew backwards and landed flat on his arse.

"Dwarf down! We have a dwarf down!" shouted Bri.

Cat began to make siren noises. The two girls jumped out of their seats and rushed over to Gimli and started helping him up.

"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this," stated Elrond.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air that you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."

"Wow, Boromir, don't make it sound so fun."

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed!" shouted Legolas.

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?!" asked Gimli in anger.

"And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?" asked Boromir.

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf! Never trust an Elf!"

"Do you not understand? While you bicker amongst yourselves, Sauron's power grows! None can escape it! You'll all be destroyed!" shouted Gandalf.

All the men at the council 'cept Frodo were bickering amongst themselves. Cat and Bri were sitting in their chairs watching the arguments fly back and forth. When Frodo stood up they watched his mouth move but didn't hear any words.

"Hey! You big blokes! Shush!"

The men all stopped and stared at the two girls.

"No, no, no. Don't look at us, look at Frodo," said Cat.

"I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way."

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear," said Gandalf, looking on Frodo in a fatherly way.

"By my life or death, if I can protect you, I will. You have my sword," said Aragorn.

"And you have my bow," Legolas stated.

"And my ax," said Gimli.

"You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done," said Boromir, while walking over to the gathering group.

"Here! Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me," shouted Sam while running out from behind the bushes.

"No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you from him, even when he is summoned to a secret Council, and you are not."

With that two more hobbits, Merry and Pippin came running up to where everyone else was.

"Oi! We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us," said Merry.

"Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing."

"Well that rules you out, Pip."

"Nine---"

"Hold up. Lord Eye-- I mean Elrond. Do you really want me and Cat to stay here? We could corrupt sooo many elves if we stay. If you let us go on the Quest, we might die. And if we're here we can ask you so many pointless questions like 'why do you wear dresses? How come Arwen and Ara-- '"

Cat clamped her hand over Bri's mouth to shut her up. "Please let us go."

Elrond looked like he was trying to decide if it would be better or worse to let the girls go.

"So be it. Eleven companions. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

"Great. Where are we going?" asked Pippin.