Chapter Ten
October 15, 1912
Luke and Rose rekindled their relationship in the weeks following the incident in the park. As fall wore on, the days growing shorter and cooler and the nights longer, they began to see more and more of each other, meeting each day in the park during Rose's lunch break, and often going to dinner and a moving picture show on her days off.
There had been a subtle shift in their relationship, one that neither could define, but both instinctively felt. Rose was sure that Jack was behind the change, though she never mentioned her thoughts to Luke. Luke didn't know how or why things had changed, but he did know that Rose had become very special to him.
One evening in mid-October Rose decided to return Luke's kindness in taking her out so often, inviting him to dinner at her apartment. She and Hope outdid themselves cooking; Rose even prepared a fancy dessert that she had learned to make as a member of the upper class, though she couldn't afford all of the expensive ingredients and had to find substitutes.
Luke arrived promptly at six o'clock, bringing a bouquet of flowers to decorate the table. While Hope slipped into the kitchen to put the flowers in water, Rose invited Luke in and offered him a seat on the second-hand couch in the main room.
Luke nodded, accepting the offer, then gestured for Rose to sit beside him. She did so, glancing around the apartment nervously.
"I apologize for the mess," she told him, referring to the collection of well-worn furniture and the faded rug.
"What mess?" Luke asked, knowing what she was referring to, but pretending not to. He knew that Rose and Hope didn't have much money. "It looks better than my apartment, at least before the housekeeper gets to it. She only comes once a week, and I never was the tidiest person around. Your place is clean, at least."
"Yes, well...we don't often have guests. We gave it a thorough cleaning yesterday."
"Hmm...a good housekeeper. I may just keep you," he joked.
Rose laughed, a little nervously. It was only a joke, of course, but their relationship had been progressing much faster than she had expected, even with Jack's assurance that it was meant to be. She liked Luke, she really did, but things were going faster than she was comfortable with.
When Luke reached to hold her hand, she suddenly pulled away. Getting to her feet, she hurried toward the kitchen.
"I'd best check on dinner before it burns," she explained, hurrying through the door.
Hope was taking the roast out of the oven, transferring it to a blue and white platter. They had set the table in the main room, though Hope and Rose usually took their meals in the kitchen itself, eschewing formality in favor of the more casual atmosphere both preferred.
Tonight, however, they had a guest, and Rose, in spite of her nervousness, wanted to make a good impression. Hope raised an eyebrow as Rose burst into the kitchen.
"Abandoning your guest already?" she asked, carving a few slices of meat.
"I...I...Hope, he thinks I'm a good housekeeper!"
"And?"
"And he thinks I'm a good housekeeper!"
"Rose, you are a good housekeeper. I'll admit that you learned most of it from me, but you do know how to keep things reasonably tidy now."
"He joked that he might keep me!" Rose wrung her hands.
"So what's wrong with that?"
"Hope, what if he means it?!"
Hope sighed. "Rose, he was joking. I know that you still carry a torch for Jack, but you have to learn to accept other people. He's not going to hurt you, you know."
"I know, but...wait! How do you know he won't hurt me?"
"I just know." At Rose's cynical expression, she added, "I'm a few years older than you, Rose, and I was never so sheltered. I've seen a few things. I know that you had a bad experience with the man you were engaged to, and that you still love another man, but you can trust this one. Now, take this out and invite him to sit down."
Rose sighed, taking the platter of beef, potatoes, and carrots. As she moved carefully through the door, a thought suddenly struck her. Hope had known about Cal—but Rose had never spoken to her of him. How in the world had she known?
*****
The three conversed lightly over dinner. Luke complimented both Hope and Rose on the meal, but his main focus was on Rose. He was especially appreciative of the dessert she had made, and Rose began to relax, lulled by the friendly conversation and Luke's stories about his work.
At the end of the meal, however, Hope got up to clear away the dishes and wash them. When Rose moved to help her, she waved her away.
"Luke is your guest, Rose, and I can certainly wash the dishes alone." When Rose opened her mouth to protest, she added, "For a former member of the upper class, you certainly don't seem to remember how to entertain guests." With that, Hope walked into the kitchen.
Rose sank back into her chair, her face flaming. Even in the dim light, Luke noticed.
"She's in a bit of a temper, isn't she?"
"Well...ah...yes. Yes, she is." Rose knew that Hope wanted her to be more friendly to Luke, and wasn't going to give her an excuse to avoid him. She didn't have to be so rude, though, Rose thought, then stopped, wondering how Hope had known about her upper class background. Rose had never told her about that, either.
Could Luke have told her? she wondered. Luke had been very discreet about what Rose had told him, but he knew that Hope and Rose were close, and might have told Hope Rose's secrets because of it. Or, he might have mentioned these things to her, assuming that she already knew. Luke didn't see Hope often, Rose knew, but she didn't know where each of them was every minute.
Looking up at Luke, Rose folded her hands in her lap, trying to relax. Luke looked back at her, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight.
"That was a good dinner, Rose," he told her.
"Thank you. Hope did a lot of the cooking too, though."
"Not that dessert. I've hobnobbed with the wealthy on occasion, and that was definitely a fancy dessert. I somehow doubt that she knows how to make it."
Rose smiled, relaxing a little. "No, she doesn't. I learned to make it in school. Even in high society, the ability to do a few useful things is accepted."
Luke laughed. "You don't seem to have many fond memories of your old life."
Rose looked at the table. "Some things were good, I must admit. I never had to struggle, or wonder where my next meal was coming from, or wonder if I would have the money to pay the rent. I didn't have to work, or cook, or do laundry. Those things were nice. But on the other hand, I had no freedom. My life was planned out for me, from the moment I woke in the morning to the moment I fell asleep at night. So many things were unacceptable—even little things like laughing outright, instead of politely at someone's witty remark, or discussing ideas outside of what was acceptable. Life was comfortable—but I could see exactly what I would do and where I would go. An endless parade of yachts and polo matches, parties and cotillions—always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. And so I broke away. I didn't do it alone—Jack helped me find the courage to change my life—but I will never return to that life. Even if someday I am the richest woman in the world, I won't go back to it. My freedom is too important to me."
"I admire that, Rose. Not many women—not many men, either—have that kind of courage, to break away from society and live their own lives, for themselves. You've made a life for yourself—but what about your baby? Can you continue to live like this with a baby?"
"I can only try." Rose shrugged. "Many families are much worse off than me, and yet they manage to survive and even thrive. I will do the best I can for my daughter."
"How can you be so sure that it's a girl?"
"Jack told me." She ignored Luke's skeptical look. "Her name will be Josephine, and I will raise her to appreciate freedom, to love and respect herself and others, just as her father and I did."
"It will be hard to raise a child alone."
"I can do it, just as many other women have and still do. Widows, single mothers, women who are divorced or abandoned—it's hard, but many still make lives for themselves and their children. To be sure, it's too much for some—but then, not all marriages work well, either. It all depends on the people and their circumstances." She thought of Cal, and how marriage to him would have turned out—not well, she was certain.
"But if you had a choice, to marry and make life easier for yourself and your baby, would you?"
"I honestly can't say, Luke. I don't have that choice. If Jack had lived, I would have married him, but as it is, I will simply do my best on my own. What more can I do?"
"Rose...I've been thinking about this for quite some time..."
Rose looked at him, her heart suddenly pounding. "Thinking about what?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.
"Rose, you've become very special to me, and I could offer you a good life, while you still had the freedom to do the things you want." He paused. "Rose, I'm asking you to marry me."
Rose's mouth snapped open and shut, unable to form a response at first. "I...I...do you love me?" she blurted out. She knew that he would allow her to keep her freedom, and provide a good home for her baby, but she had vowed to herself when she had changed her name that she would never marry for anything but love.
"Yes...yes, Rose, I do. Do you love me?"
"I...I don't know." Rose looked straight at him. "Luke, you're a good friend, a close friend—maybe the best friend I've ever had. But I don't know what I feel. It's too soon. Jack has only been gone for six months—I don't feel ready to move on yet. I'm expecting his child—I can't simply forget him. Even if I could, even if what we had wasn't so precious to me, the baby would remind me every day. No, Luke, I can't marry you. Maybe one day—but not yet."
"When, then?"
"I don't know. Whenever my heart feels that it is time to let go of the past. It could be tomorrow...it could be ten years from now. I can't say. If, when that time comes, we are still...together...maybe then it would work. But I won't make a promise that I don't know that I can keep."
Rose turned her head as the kitchen door opened and Hope walked out. She stared at her, but Hope gave no indication of having heard the conversation. However, her eyes never left Luke's, and after a moment, Luke turned back to Rose.
"I do love you, Rose—but I understand. If we are meant to be together, as you said, then we will be, in time. If not...you've still got a staunch supporter. I won't give up on you. Whatever happens..."
"...we'll always remain friends," Rose finished for him.
Luke nodded, smiling at her in spite of himself.
