NOTE::::: if you're suffering from writer's block, visit my website and click on the "Your Challenge" link, it's got a writer's challenge there that'll, hopefully, get response and dig some ppl outta that proverbial hole known as writer's block!!!

**Disclaimer** Don't own Slayers or any of the songs used here, unless I wrote them, in which I'll specify.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 3:

Her songs had always had a purpose, to put her memories into song, in such a way that gave her a slightly better outlook on life, or at least, her past. In her mind, Lina sang a song she had written long after she had left home.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I aint no queen of hearts,

I go through stages..

I fall in love

then complicate it

yea, you know the feeling

without much hope

just blind ambition

pretending that theres nothing missing

i always kept believing

that more..

i thought if i had more

i wouldnt get so bored

but everything just left me empty

love walking in and out of my door

wasnt good enough no more

when i dont trust myself, life really sucks

and first time i thought it but i didnt do it

last time thats when i really blew it

but this time im gonna do it different

cuz i know i know i know

if i put everything i have into it

eventually, im gonna get whats good for me

im just trying to be creative

but everyones so opinionated

they wanna tell me what im feeling

cuz one mans junks anothers treasure

when its done its hard to measure

or keep from believing

that more

if only i had more

i wouldnt get so bored

but i know its gonna leave me empty

life walking in and out of my door

wasnt good enough nomore

well i dont trust myself

my heart'll get stuck

and first time i thought it but i didnt do it

last time thats when i really blew it

but this time im gonna do it different

cuz i know i know i know

if i put everything i have into it

eventually, im gonna get whats good for me

cuz i don't want to

live my life wonderin

if only, i woulda, i shoulda, i coulda

but i didn't cuz i'd only blame myself again

and first time i thought it but i didnt do it

last time thats when i really blew it

but this time im gonna do it different

cuz i know i know i know

if i put everything i have into it

eventually, im gonna get whats good for me

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A tiny, ten-year-old-girl sat on her bed, tears leaking out of her beautiful ruby eyes. She stared at her palm, blood running freely from dozens of cuts and slashes running up and down, side to side. Flesh was already bruising around the cuts and the girl could do no more than twitch her index finger ever-so-slightly. Ignoring the brilliant sunshine and sounds of other children's laughter outside, which normally would pull her outside herself, she put her good hand to her face and sobbed.

"Daddy, you're so mean! All i wanted to do was be like mommy!"

A tall, handsome, middle-aged man walked in and scowled at the crying child, "Girl, your mother was evil! She had them powers and she used them for horrible purposes. I ain't gonna let you become that you understand?"

The child was suddenly angered, ever since her mother's death, all her father did was bad-mouth her about the "witch-powers" her kind mother possessed. "If mommy was so evil then why'd you marry her?" She shouted at her father. As far as the little girl could remember, her mother had used her abilities for helping, healing, never hurting.

"I felt sorry for her, thought I could change 'er. Keep her from using them powers 'gain."

"You're lying-" She was cut off when her father crossed the room in three strides and belted her across the face so hard, she was pushed backward.

Reaching out, he took her hand and shoved it to her face, "Ya see this girl? I cut this up so you can't do that crap! You understand Lina, y'ain't gonna use it like your mother did! I'm not havin' my daughter get exiled for something I could'a stopped."

Lina just sat up and glared at him, refusing to let tears fall from her eyes. After a bit, he left and only then did she let the pain leak from her glistening eyes. Looking at her hand, she thought back to when her mother passed, Lina had been at her side, she had told her daughter to covet what she had, not let herself forget about it, but never use it for evil.

Lina had always considered experimenting with it, try to do something, after all those who had it had told her she was very powerful, it was her birthrate, but her father never looked highly upon her doing anything with her gift, so all she cose to do was dream; until that day. That's when she blew it, getting angry at some kitchenware, she blasted it. Lina herself, was ecstatic, it was a rush, feeling that power, that awareness, this was who she was, what she was meant to do.

In a rage, her father rushed in, madder than she'd ever seen him. He quickly surveyed the miss, his daughter, and her hand. It didn't take long for him to put things together, and he set about beating that rush out of her, then, cut up her right hand. Al she knew for the rest of that day was pain, her whole body hurt so bad her father had to carry her into her room. Eventually the pain subsided, then she cried, but refused to come out, not even hunger could persuade her.

From then on, she decided never to use her gift, to push it back to the farthest reaches of her mind. This time she was finally going to get it right by her father, after all, she still had many years to live with him before she could leave.

"But all I want is what's good for me." Lina lay down and fell asleep, a final tear falling fro mher cheek.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

a/n: tear jerker? This may sound morbid, but that's what i was goin for. Anyway, yeah, i just feel this incredible need to type so i'll probably be typing out chapter four too, then writing the rest of chapter five during study hall. Review!