Chapter 3: Moving Forward
As Joan had guessed the outing to the bowling alley had been great fun. Not so much the bowling part but more so the interaction between Luke and Grace. Grace simply enjoyed using every opportunity to annoy Luke and then act as if she had not done whatever it was on purpose. Meanwhile, Joan and Adam had enjoyed the day in their own right, just spending some time together, laughing and having fun.
Hungry after their bowling experience, the four decided that they would get pizza before heading home. One large half pepperoni half mushroom pizza later, they were sitting in the booth at the pizza place talking over their plans for the remainder of the weekend.
"We don't have any chemistry homework due Monday, that's a relief," said Joan.
"Yeah, especially since I have a five page paper due in American Literature," added Grace.
Adam looked up at Grace and asked, "Yo, Grace, I thought you liked that class."
"I do as long as we deal with 'contemporary' American literature. Some of the works we are reading right now were written in the late 1800's and they just don't hold my interest ya know."
"Well, I plan on spending the rest of the weekend compiling my research from the bowling alley." Luke commented.
Joan laughed, "When we don't see you around the house for the next day or so, I'll be sure to tell Mom and Dad that you are being held hostage by your computer. Or do you plan to come out for meals?"
"Am I really that bad?" Luke asked.
The other three glanced around and in unison turned to Luke and said, "Yes!" Then they all started laughing and Luke looked suitably embarrassed.
Getting up from the table, Joan said "Hey, I'm going up to get a refill, does anyone need anything?"
Receiving a chorus of "No" from around the table, Joan headed up to the counter.
"Can I have a refill please? It's Diet."
"Are you sure?"
"What? Am I sure I want a refill, or am I sure it's diet?"
"Actually, neither Joan, I was asking if you're sure you're ready to discuss your relationship with Adam."
Realizing the clerk behind the counter was actually God in a new form, Joan asked, "Taking up a new career now, making pizza?"
"Yes, well you know, I'm all about choices, and that's seems to fit well with pizza, choosing between toppings."
"Please enough of your snide humor today."
"You didn't answer my question Joan."
"What, about talking with Adam?"
"Yes, that's the one."
"May I remind you, Your Greatness, that * you * were the one who told me, just last night I might add, that I needed to tell Adam how I feel. Now what's with the hints that I might not be ready to do just that?"
"Ah, Joan, did I say you weren't ready, or, did I ask you if you thought you were?"
"Okay, I guess you did ask me about me, but what's the deal? I'm just trying to follow through on your suggestion of defining where Adam and I are in our relationship."
"Just keep in mind that * you * aren't the only one who needs to talk about how they feel and what they need from your relationship."
"Okay, so you're telling me that I need to consider how Adam feels in all this. I thought I was. We even talked about talking about it. I thought that was what this whole definition thing was about, to give us a place to start over from."
"Yes, but are you prepared for what he might tell you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Setting her refilled glass on the counter, God smiled and turned away with his signature wave.
Knowing she was once again left with more questions than answers, Joan started back to the table (mumbling to herself on the way) to join Adam, Grace and Luke.
"That took long enough," Grace commented as Joan returned to the table.
"Oh, well yeah, the clerk felt that he had to impart his great knowledge on making the right choices."
"The right choices in what, pizza toppings?"
"Yeah, pizza toppings."
"Hey, when we finish here can you drop me off at home Joan before taking Grace and Adam home? I wanted to get started on the data compilation."
"You guys aren't in so much of a hurry that I can't take geek here home first are you?" Joan asked Adam and Grace.
"A few minutes won't matter but I do have to get a paper done this evening that's due Monday. I'm a prisoner to my computer tonight like Science Boy there."
"I can wait til you drop Luke and Grace off Jane. Anyway, I wanted to show you something in my shed" added Adam.
Joan looked up at Adam, smiling and said, "Great."
Continuing, she asked, "Are we all ready to get going?"
Receiving agreement from the others, the group all grabbed their coats and headed out to the car.
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As Luke got out of the car, Joan called after him, "Luke, please tell Mom and Dad and I will be over at Adam's for awhile. I should be home by 8:00."
"Sure, Joan. Adam, Grace, I'll see you all at school on Monday."
"Cha, Luke", offered Adam.
"Later, dog boy. Perhaps we can go bowling again sometime," snickered Grace.
As Joan backed the car out of the Giradi driveway, Grace had the opportunity to watch Luke's face go pale.
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After Grace had gotten out of the car at her house, they had said their goodbyes and Joan had headed toward Adam's house, neither Joan nor Adam seemed to know how to break the silence in the car.
Finally, Joan asked, "Did you say that you wanted to show me something in your shed Adam?"
"Cha, Jane, but I would rather show you than tell you ahead of time, yo."
"Adam?"
"What, can't I have a secret or two of my own?" he laughed.
"Adam, I didn't mean to say that you couldn't have secrets. I'm just anxious to know what it is. I have been ever since you mentioned it at the pizza place."
"Well, you'll just have to wait."
"Oh, alright. I'll try to be patient," Joan said with an anxious sigh.
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As Adam and Joan got out of the car in the Rove driveway, Joan noticed Carl Rove crossing the yard from the neighbor's house.
"Hey there Adam, Joan."
"Hello Mr. Rove. How are you this evening?"
"Just fine. And you two, what have you been up to?"
"We went bowling this afternoon to help Joan's brother Luke with a project, then we went and got some pizza. Right now we're on our way out to my shed. There's something that I wanted to show Jane."
"Sounds like you've had an enjoyable day so far. I've spent my afternoon under a sink so I'm on my way in to get cleaned up. It was nice to see you again Joan."
"Same here Mr. Rove."
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After entering the shed, Joan turned around to face Adam and said, "Okay, I'm here and the suspense is killing me, what was it that you wanted to show me?"
"Cha Jane, you must be awful around Christmas waiting to open presents."
"Yeah, I'm afraid so. My family almost threatens to disown me every year."
Smiling, Adam placed his hands on Joan's shoulders and turned her around to face his workbench, nudging her forward toward the stool then gently down.
"Here sit. Now close your eyes."
Before lifting his hands from Joan's shoulders, Adam leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "And no peeking."
Joan, caught up in the anticipation of the moment, was pleasantly surprised when Adam actually reached out to touch her and then even more so when he had whispered so quietly in her ear. In the six months they had known each other, other than when they had kissed at the science fair, Adam rarely ever initiated physical contact between them. Now it seemed he realized that she would welcome his touch. It was also pretty cool that he'd known she was thinking about peeking.
Adam walked from behind Joan over to a shelf on the side of the shed and removed a small sculpture from among some other items. He turned back to the workbench and set the sculpture down in the center, moving to stand across the workbench from Joan so that he could see her reaction.
"Okay Jane, you can open your eyes."
Joan opened her eyes and immediately noticed the small sculpture sitting on the table in front of her.
"I made it for you Jane."
"For me? Adam, you're doing your art again?"
"Cha Jane."
"Adam, that's great!"
Reaching out and gently touching the sculpture, she asked, "Is it us dancing?"
Adam smiled and nodded, overjoyed (and trying not to show it) that Jane could see in his art what he had intended it to show. Looking up from watching how she was gently touching what he'd created, he said, "Last night after I got home I couldn't stop thinking about it so I came out here and well...it just came together."
"Adam, I don't know what to say, except, it's beautiful. Thank you."
"Cha Jane." Joan knew that she couldn't wait any longer to start the discussion with Adam. Adam had once again made her feel special by creating the sculpture for her. She felt she had to clear up any of the misunderstanding that might linger between them from when she said that maybe they weren't ready.
"Adam, I've been thinking a lot about the things that I said to you last night and I realize that I need to explain myself."
"Not necessary Jane."
"Yes, it is. We both said earlier that we don't know what's cool and what's not between us right now. We have to figure it out."
"Okay," Adam offered as he moved some of his junk collection off of the other stool and pulled it up across the workbench from Joan. "What did ya wanna say?"
"Most of all, I guess I want to say that I'm sorry."
Adam, not sure he was ready to have this conversation at all but knowing that something needed to happen to stop the rollercoaster he and Jane were on, looked up quickly, immediately believing Jane was about to end their relationship before it even really got started and before he got to put in his two cents.
"Ya sure know how to get to the point fast."
"What?"
"Well, you're saying that you're sorry. That usually leads to, or follows, something bad."
"Adam, would you let me finish, please?"
"Go ahead," Adam offered, nearly sure he really didn't want to hear anymore.
"Adam, I'm sorry that I said that we maybe weren't ready last night. Somehow in there I think I needed to add a lot more explanation. I wanna do that now."
Interrupting, Adam said, "I understand Jane, I think, it's just, like, you know, you don't feel that way about me. I can be okay with that if that's what you want."
"Adam!"
"What?"
"Didn't I ask you to let me finish?"
"Sorry."
"Ya know this is not easy for me cause I want to say all these things I'm thinking all at once and they just aren't coming out right."
"I'll listen to it all Jane. Go on."
"Okay, here goes...Adam I said what I said last night cause I didn't know what I wanted then, or maybe I knew what I wanted but didn't want to admit it to myself. Over the past week I've just been so happy to have all that bad stuff behind us and to be back to being friends that I was avoiding thinking about, or dealing with, where our friendship might lead us."
Knowing that whatever Jane was trying to say wasn't easy for her, Adam reached out across the workbench and took a hold of her hand where she had been running her finger across the sculpture.
"I've thought about it a lot since last night and I guess the easiest way to say what I have to say is that I'm afraid."
Adam was trying to track all of what Jane was saying without interrupting again, but when she said she was afraid, he couldn't stop himself.
"Of me?"
"No, Adam, not of you. I'm afraid of me. I've hurt you so many times in the few months we known each other, and I did those things when we were just friends. If we were more than friends, I can see myself really messing up and doing more stupid things that would take it * all * away, not only the 'more than friends' part, but our basic friendship as well. I don't think I can deal with causing you any more hurt, I care too much for you to do that. And, you don't deserve to have someone in your life that way that hurts you all the time. So I guess I thought that if we just stayed as friends and avoided the 'more than friends' part that maybe I wouldn't have as many chances to screw up."
"Is that it?"
"Well, most of it. There's more but I guess that's the main reason I said what I did last night."
"Okay then, my turn. Are you ready to hear my side of this conversation?"
"Yeah, I guess so"
"It's okay if you do."
"What's okay?"
"It's okay if you do stupid things, yo. Though maybe if you could avoid anymore stupid attacks related to my art that would be better."
"Adam, how can you say that it's okay for me to hurt you?"
"Cha Jane, getting hurt is part of life. Happens all the time. We don't have to like it, but we do have to deal with it. That is if we want the good stuff too. The..."
"Good stuff?"
"Now who's interrupting?"
"Sorry."
"The good stuff between us. Think about it, there is some kinda connection between us. I don't know how, or why, or where it came from but it's there and all the stupid things you say you've done to hurt me so far haven't been able to break it. Even when some of them have been pretty bad, yo."
Adam, uncomfortable with connecting so many thoughts together and saying them out loud, released Joan's hands and stood, turning to fiddle with some of the junk along the wall. He knew he had to go on and explain the rest. Jane needed to hear it, and he needed to say it.
"Jane, from almost the first time we met you have been able to see * me *. Not the 'me' on the outside that everyone else sees but who I am inside. The only other person who even comes close to being able to do that is Grace and we've known each other for years. You just showed up one day in Arcadia and in my life and it was like, Wam!, she gets me. And now I just wander around half the time trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about it."
"It was kinda the same for me ya know. I mean it's not as if I have that many friends and I guess I just don't want to do any stupid stuff to hurt the ones I do have."
"Jane, how do you know I won't do stupid stuff that will hurt you? I'm a sixteen year old guy. Somewhere in the definition for sixteen year old guys is the line, 'does stupid stuff on occasion'."
"Other than ignoring for weeks all my attempts to talk to you and to apologize, you haven't really done anything so far to hurt me."
Adam turned back toward the workbench taking his seat again and once again reaching to grasp Joan's hands in his. "The point is though that I probably will sometime. If your fear of hurting me is what's keeping you from thinking we're ready, don't sweat it. I'm willing to take the chance, providing that you're willing to take the same chance too"
"Adam, are you sure, I mean, there's lots of stuff going on in my life that I just can't seem to control and there's stuff I've not told you that I'm not ready to tell you or anyone yet and..."
"Jane, I'm sure."
"There you go interrupting again."
"Maybe that's why we get along so well, we have the same bad habits, yo."
Laughing, Joan met Adam's gaze, "Okay, so what do we do now? It's not as if my experience with this kinda thing has been what you might call all that great."
"And like I've much experience to go on either?"
"Maybe we can just take it slow and come up with the 'what' as we go along."
"Okay, I can accept that. Just I want ya to talk to me when something's bothering you. Stop trying to answer everything on your own. We don't do so bad as a team in chemistry, maybe we can try it with just life in general, yo? Part of this has got to be to remember that it isn't just 'you' and just 'me' in this ya know it's like...."
"Us."
"Yeah. Us."
The two sat across the workbench from one another, holding hands, and each other's gaze. As with so many other previous times in their relationship, there was really no need to say anything further out loud for them to understand what the other was thinking. Granted, the unspoken communication didn't work all of the time, but maybe as this thing between them progressed, they would get better at understanding the harder stuff too.
Joan noticed that Adam seemed to want to ask her something else but that he didn't seem to know how to phrase the question.
"What?"
"Jane, I was wondering, um......, does your definition of 'take it slow" include kissing?"
Joan smiled, "Seems to me that that could be one of the best parts of going slow."
"Unchallenged."
Still grasping her hands, Adam stood and walked around the workbench to stand next to Joan then urged her to stand and face him.
"Adam, I'm going to make mistakes with this."
"I will too Jane."
"I guess that if you're willing to take the risk, then I should be willing to the same risk. I am ya know, willing to take the risk that is, cause... well... the other part of what I needed to tell you is that I want this to work."
"Unchallenged Jane. I want it to work too. More maybe even then I can tell you."
As they stood there, Adam released Joan's hands from his and moved his one hand to her hip and the other to her cheek. Touching her cheek softly he tilted her head up slightly, and touched his lips to hers. The kiss they shared was gentle and full of meaning and promise.
After a moment they pulled back from each other just far enough to focus on one another.
"As much as I would like to continue this particular part of our discussion, it's getting late and I should probably head home" Joan offered.
"Cha, and I'd better go in and hang with my dad for a while since we don't have much chance to do that during the week."
"Call me tomorrow?"
"Unchallenged, but I rather see you in person."
"Why?"
"Hard to kiss you over the phone, yo."
Adam leaned forward gave her a quick kiss. Laughing, they turned together, Joan picked up her sculpture, and hand in hand they walked out of the shed toward her car.
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As the two left the shed and rounded the corner of the house toward the driveway, they failed to notice that someone was watching them.
From inside the house, Carl Rove, who had been busy preparing dinner, happened to glance up and look out the window just as his son and Joan had come out of the shed. From his observation of the pair, Carl was sure that whatever they had been talking about in there had been a good thing.
As he turned back to his dinner preparations, Carl was smiling.
~ The End ~
------------------------------------------------ Author's notes: Thanks to those who have read and reviewed so far. I'm interested in how you all think it turned out and of course I interested in continuing to read all of the great fan fics you all share as well.
As Joan had guessed the outing to the bowling alley had been great fun. Not so much the bowling part but more so the interaction between Luke and Grace. Grace simply enjoyed using every opportunity to annoy Luke and then act as if she had not done whatever it was on purpose. Meanwhile, Joan and Adam had enjoyed the day in their own right, just spending some time together, laughing and having fun.
Hungry after their bowling experience, the four decided that they would get pizza before heading home. One large half pepperoni half mushroom pizza later, they were sitting in the booth at the pizza place talking over their plans for the remainder of the weekend.
"We don't have any chemistry homework due Monday, that's a relief," said Joan.
"Yeah, especially since I have a five page paper due in American Literature," added Grace.
Adam looked up at Grace and asked, "Yo, Grace, I thought you liked that class."
"I do as long as we deal with 'contemporary' American literature. Some of the works we are reading right now were written in the late 1800's and they just don't hold my interest ya know."
"Well, I plan on spending the rest of the weekend compiling my research from the bowling alley." Luke commented.
Joan laughed, "When we don't see you around the house for the next day or so, I'll be sure to tell Mom and Dad that you are being held hostage by your computer. Or do you plan to come out for meals?"
"Am I really that bad?" Luke asked.
The other three glanced around and in unison turned to Luke and said, "Yes!" Then they all started laughing and Luke looked suitably embarrassed.
Getting up from the table, Joan said "Hey, I'm going up to get a refill, does anyone need anything?"
Receiving a chorus of "No" from around the table, Joan headed up to the counter.
"Can I have a refill please? It's Diet."
"Are you sure?"
"What? Am I sure I want a refill, or am I sure it's diet?"
"Actually, neither Joan, I was asking if you're sure you're ready to discuss your relationship with Adam."
Realizing the clerk behind the counter was actually God in a new form, Joan asked, "Taking up a new career now, making pizza?"
"Yes, well you know, I'm all about choices, and that's seems to fit well with pizza, choosing between toppings."
"Please enough of your snide humor today."
"You didn't answer my question Joan."
"What, about talking with Adam?"
"Yes, that's the one."
"May I remind you, Your Greatness, that * you * were the one who told me, just last night I might add, that I needed to tell Adam how I feel. Now what's with the hints that I might not be ready to do just that?"
"Ah, Joan, did I say you weren't ready, or, did I ask you if you thought you were?"
"Okay, I guess you did ask me about me, but what's the deal? I'm just trying to follow through on your suggestion of defining where Adam and I are in our relationship."
"Just keep in mind that * you * aren't the only one who needs to talk about how they feel and what they need from your relationship."
"Okay, so you're telling me that I need to consider how Adam feels in all this. I thought I was. We even talked about talking about it. I thought that was what this whole definition thing was about, to give us a place to start over from."
"Yes, but are you prepared for what he might tell you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Setting her refilled glass on the counter, God smiled and turned away with his signature wave.
Knowing she was once again left with more questions than answers, Joan started back to the table (mumbling to herself on the way) to join Adam, Grace and Luke.
"That took long enough," Grace commented as Joan returned to the table.
"Oh, well yeah, the clerk felt that he had to impart his great knowledge on making the right choices."
"The right choices in what, pizza toppings?"
"Yeah, pizza toppings."
"Hey, when we finish here can you drop me off at home Joan before taking Grace and Adam home? I wanted to get started on the data compilation."
"You guys aren't in so much of a hurry that I can't take geek here home first are you?" Joan asked Adam and Grace.
"A few minutes won't matter but I do have to get a paper done this evening that's due Monday. I'm a prisoner to my computer tonight like Science Boy there."
"I can wait til you drop Luke and Grace off Jane. Anyway, I wanted to show you something in my shed" added Adam.
Joan looked up at Adam, smiling and said, "Great."
Continuing, she asked, "Are we all ready to get going?"
Receiving agreement from the others, the group all grabbed their coats and headed out to the car.
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As Luke got out of the car, Joan called after him, "Luke, please tell Mom and Dad and I will be over at Adam's for awhile. I should be home by 8:00."
"Sure, Joan. Adam, Grace, I'll see you all at school on Monday."
"Cha, Luke", offered Adam.
"Later, dog boy. Perhaps we can go bowling again sometime," snickered Grace.
As Joan backed the car out of the Giradi driveway, Grace had the opportunity to watch Luke's face go pale.
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After Grace had gotten out of the car at her house, they had said their goodbyes and Joan had headed toward Adam's house, neither Joan nor Adam seemed to know how to break the silence in the car.
Finally, Joan asked, "Did you say that you wanted to show me something in your shed Adam?"
"Cha, Jane, but I would rather show you than tell you ahead of time, yo."
"Adam?"
"What, can't I have a secret or two of my own?" he laughed.
"Adam, I didn't mean to say that you couldn't have secrets. I'm just anxious to know what it is. I have been ever since you mentioned it at the pizza place."
"Well, you'll just have to wait."
"Oh, alright. I'll try to be patient," Joan said with an anxious sigh.
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As Adam and Joan got out of the car in the Rove driveway, Joan noticed Carl Rove crossing the yard from the neighbor's house.
"Hey there Adam, Joan."
"Hello Mr. Rove. How are you this evening?"
"Just fine. And you two, what have you been up to?"
"We went bowling this afternoon to help Joan's brother Luke with a project, then we went and got some pizza. Right now we're on our way out to my shed. There's something that I wanted to show Jane."
"Sounds like you've had an enjoyable day so far. I've spent my afternoon under a sink so I'm on my way in to get cleaned up. It was nice to see you again Joan."
"Same here Mr. Rove."
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After entering the shed, Joan turned around to face Adam and said, "Okay, I'm here and the suspense is killing me, what was it that you wanted to show me?"
"Cha Jane, you must be awful around Christmas waiting to open presents."
"Yeah, I'm afraid so. My family almost threatens to disown me every year."
Smiling, Adam placed his hands on Joan's shoulders and turned her around to face his workbench, nudging her forward toward the stool then gently down.
"Here sit. Now close your eyes."
Before lifting his hands from Joan's shoulders, Adam leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "And no peeking."
Joan, caught up in the anticipation of the moment, was pleasantly surprised when Adam actually reached out to touch her and then even more so when he had whispered so quietly in her ear. In the six months they had known each other, other than when they had kissed at the science fair, Adam rarely ever initiated physical contact between them. Now it seemed he realized that she would welcome his touch. It was also pretty cool that he'd known she was thinking about peeking.
Adam walked from behind Joan over to a shelf on the side of the shed and removed a small sculpture from among some other items. He turned back to the workbench and set the sculpture down in the center, moving to stand across the workbench from Joan so that he could see her reaction.
"Okay Jane, you can open your eyes."
Joan opened her eyes and immediately noticed the small sculpture sitting on the table in front of her.
"I made it for you Jane."
"For me? Adam, you're doing your art again?"
"Cha Jane."
"Adam, that's great!"
Reaching out and gently touching the sculpture, she asked, "Is it us dancing?"
Adam smiled and nodded, overjoyed (and trying not to show it) that Jane could see in his art what he had intended it to show. Looking up from watching how she was gently touching what he'd created, he said, "Last night after I got home I couldn't stop thinking about it so I came out here and well...it just came together."
"Adam, I don't know what to say, except, it's beautiful. Thank you."
"Cha Jane." Joan knew that she couldn't wait any longer to start the discussion with Adam. Adam had once again made her feel special by creating the sculpture for her. She felt she had to clear up any of the misunderstanding that might linger between them from when she said that maybe they weren't ready.
"Adam, I've been thinking a lot about the things that I said to you last night and I realize that I need to explain myself."
"Not necessary Jane."
"Yes, it is. We both said earlier that we don't know what's cool and what's not between us right now. We have to figure it out."
"Okay," Adam offered as he moved some of his junk collection off of the other stool and pulled it up across the workbench from Joan. "What did ya wanna say?"
"Most of all, I guess I want to say that I'm sorry."
Adam, not sure he was ready to have this conversation at all but knowing that something needed to happen to stop the rollercoaster he and Jane were on, looked up quickly, immediately believing Jane was about to end their relationship before it even really got started and before he got to put in his two cents.
"Ya sure know how to get to the point fast."
"What?"
"Well, you're saying that you're sorry. That usually leads to, or follows, something bad."
"Adam, would you let me finish, please?"
"Go ahead," Adam offered, nearly sure he really didn't want to hear anymore.
"Adam, I'm sorry that I said that we maybe weren't ready last night. Somehow in there I think I needed to add a lot more explanation. I wanna do that now."
Interrupting, Adam said, "I understand Jane, I think, it's just, like, you know, you don't feel that way about me. I can be okay with that if that's what you want."
"Adam!"
"What?"
"Didn't I ask you to let me finish?"
"Sorry."
"Ya know this is not easy for me cause I want to say all these things I'm thinking all at once and they just aren't coming out right."
"I'll listen to it all Jane. Go on."
"Okay, here goes...Adam I said what I said last night cause I didn't know what I wanted then, or maybe I knew what I wanted but didn't want to admit it to myself. Over the past week I've just been so happy to have all that bad stuff behind us and to be back to being friends that I was avoiding thinking about, or dealing with, where our friendship might lead us."
Knowing that whatever Jane was trying to say wasn't easy for her, Adam reached out across the workbench and took a hold of her hand where she had been running her finger across the sculpture.
"I've thought about it a lot since last night and I guess the easiest way to say what I have to say is that I'm afraid."
Adam was trying to track all of what Jane was saying without interrupting again, but when she said she was afraid, he couldn't stop himself.
"Of me?"
"No, Adam, not of you. I'm afraid of me. I've hurt you so many times in the few months we known each other, and I did those things when we were just friends. If we were more than friends, I can see myself really messing up and doing more stupid things that would take it * all * away, not only the 'more than friends' part, but our basic friendship as well. I don't think I can deal with causing you any more hurt, I care too much for you to do that. And, you don't deserve to have someone in your life that way that hurts you all the time. So I guess I thought that if we just stayed as friends and avoided the 'more than friends' part that maybe I wouldn't have as many chances to screw up."
"Is that it?"
"Well, most of it. There's more but I guess that's the main reason I said what I did last night."
"Okay then, my turn. Are you ready to hear my side of this conversation?"
"Yeah, I guess so"
"It's okay if you do."
"What's okay?"
"It's okay if you do stupid things, yo. Though maybe if you could avoid anymore stupid attacks related to my art that would be better."
"Adam, how can you say that it's okay for me to hurt you?"
"Cha Jane, getting hurt is part of life. Happens all the time. We don't have to like it, but we do have to deal with it. That is if we want the good stuff too. The..."
"Good stuff?"
"Now who's interrupting?"
"Sorry."
"The good stuff between us. Think about it, there is some kinda connection between us. I don't know how, or why, or where it came from but it's there and all the stupid things you say you've done to hurt me so far haven't been able to break it. Even when some of them have been pretty bad, yo."
Adam, uncomfortable with connecting so many thoughts together and saying them out loud, released Joan's hands and stood, turning to fiddle with some of the junk along the wall. He knew he had to go on and explain the rest. Jane needed to hear it, and he needed to say it.
"Jane, from almost the first time we met you have been able to see * me *. Not the 'me' on the outside that everyone else sees but who I am inside. The only other person who even comes close to being able to do that is Grace and we've known each other for years. You just showed up one day in Arcadia and in my life and it was like, Wam!, she gets me. And now I just wander around half the time trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about it."
"It was kinda the same for me ya know. I mean it's not as if I have that many friends and I guess I just don't want to do any stupid stuff to hurt the ones I do have."
"Jane, how do you know I won't do stupid stuff that will hurt you? I'm a sixteen year old guy. Somewhere in the definition for sixteen year old guys is the line, 'does stupid stuff on occasion'."
"Other than ignoring for weeks all my attempts to talk to you and to apologize, you haven't really done anything so far to hurt me."
Adam turned back toward the workbench taking his seat again and once again reaching to grasp Joan's hands in his. "The point is though that I probably will sometime. If your fear of hurting me is what's keeping you from thinking we're ready, don't sweat it. I'm willing to take the chance, providing that you're willing to take the same chance too"
"Adam, are you sure, I mean, there's lots of stuff going on in my life that I just can't seem to control and there's stuff I've not told you that I'm not ready to tell you or anyone yet and..."
"Jane, I'm sure."
"There you go interrupting again."
"Maybe that's why we get along so well, we have the same bad habits, yo."
Laughing, Joan met Adam's gaze, "Okay, so what do we do now? It's not as if my experience with this kinda thing has been what you might call all that great."
"And like I've much experience to go on either?"
"Maybe we can just take it slow and come up with the 'what' as we go along."
"Okay, I can accept that. Just I want ya to talk to me when something's bothering you. Stop trying to answer everything on your own. We don't do so bad as a team in chemistry, maybe we can try it with just life in general, yo? Part of this has got to be to remember that it isn't just 'you' and just 'me' in this ya know it's like...."
"Us."
"Yeah. Us."
The two sat across the workbench from one another, holding hands, and each other's gaze. As with so many other previous times in their relationship, there was really no need to say anything further out loud for them to understand what the other was thinking. Granted, the unspoken communication didn't work all of the time, but maybe as this thing between them progressed, they would get better at understanding the harder stuff too.
Joan noticed that Adam seemed to want to ask her something else but that he didn't seem to know how to phrase the question.
"What?"
"Jane, I was wondering, um......, does your definition of 'take it slow" include kissing?"
Joan smiled, "Seems to me that that could be one of the best parts of going slow."
"Unchallenged."
Still grasping her hands, Adam stood and walked around the workbench to stand next to Joan then urged her to stand and face him.
"Adam, I'm going to make mistakes with this."
"I will too Jane."
"I guess that if you're willing to take the risk, then I should be willing to the same risk. I am ya know, willing to take the risk that is, cause... well... the other part of what I needed to tell you is that I want this to work."
"Unchallenged Jane. I want it to work too. More maybe even then I can tell you."
As they stood there, Adam released Joan's hands from his and moved his one hand to her hip and the other to her cheek. Touching her cheek softly he tilted her head up slightly, and touched his lips to hers. The kiss they shared was gentle and full of meaning and promise.
After a moment they pulled back from each other just far enough to focus on one another.
"As much as I would like to continue this particular part of our discussion, it's getting late and I should probably head home" Joan offered.
"Cha, and I'd better go in and hang with my dad for a while since we don't have much chance to do that during the week."
"Call me tomorrow?"
"Unchallenged, but I rather see you in person."
"Why?"
"Hard to kiss you over the phone, yo."
Adam leaned forward gave her a quick kiss. Laughing, they turned together, Joan picked up her sculpture, and hand in hand they walked out of the shed toward her car.
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As the two left the shed and rounded the corner of the house toward the driveway, they failed to notice that someone was watching them.
From inside the house, Carl Rove, who had been busy preparing dinner, happened to glance up and look out the window just as his son and Joan had come out of the shed. From his observation of the pair, Carl was sure that whatever they had been talking about in there had been a good thing.
As he turned back to his dinner preparations, Carl was smiling.
~ The End ~
------------------------------------------------ Author's notes: Thanks to those who have read and reviewed so far. I'm interested in how you all think it turned out and of course I interested in continuing to read all of the great fan fics you all share as well.
