Okay a few things. Somebody who reviewed noticed I borrowed a line from the movie Newsies. Whoever you are, you rock all the way into the 23rd century J Also, somebody said that maybe Juliet and Lily fell a little soon. I was trying to duplicate the Collins/Angel kind of love to answer your question. Y'all know who isn't mine
Losing the Battle
And that's how it went for week after week. Lily and Juliet's relationship progressed and deepened. And all the time, Lily kept Angel and Collins totally informed. It helped Angel feel he was still part of his beloved niece's life.
She wrote about everything. She wrote about when she and Juliet started writing songs for a CD. Lily wrote the lyrics and Juliet, (who, to hear Lily tell it, 'Could play a guitar as though it was an extension of her body'.) wrote the music. Angel adored it when Lily sent him poems. She called it EBA, evaluation by Angel. The girls called themselves Theory of Actual Reality, after Collins' crusade at MIT.
Of course, Lily's parents detested the idea of Juliet coming over and she and Lily making out on her bedroom rug, (An assumption of which they weren't completely innocent.) but they tolerated it because they knew if they didn't she'd do something drastic. Their social status could not afford another of their daughter's impromptu trips to New York.
With the exception of Angel's illness, life was going great for Lily. But all that was about to change.
*********************************
It was a rainy day in October. Lily sat on her bed drying her hair when the maid walked in.
"You are having a call, Miss Lillian."
"Is it Juliet?"
"No, Miss Lillian. It is that Tom Collins."
Lily's hand flew to her mouth. A call from Collins. What did this mean? The maid handed her the phone and walked out, dusting as she went.
"Collins," she said.
"Hey, baby."
"Good news or bad news?"
Her heart sank as she heard that deep broken sigh.
"Bad, Lily, real bad. The doctors give him a few days at the most."
This time, she could hear the tears in his voice.
"Oh, please, dear God, no," she murmured.
"If you're going to see him, you must do it soon. So, if by some miracle your parents let you come-"
"Oh, I'll make them listen to me. Oh, Collins, tell him I'm on my way and that I'll see you both soon. I love you both."
"You too, baby. See you soon."
She hung up and hastily dressed. She had to see Juliet. Juliet would know what to do. With her hair still soaking, she ran out the door. Thank God she only lived a few blocks away and in her fear, Lily's feet moved as though they were on fire. She dashed up the porch and rapped on the front door. Her lover answered and before she could say anything, Lily flung her arms around her neck.
"Lily? Honey, what's going on?"
"It's Angel," she sobbed. "His health is sinking fast. I have to see him and I don't know how!"
Juliet led her inside and they both sat down. Peter came in and gasped.
"Oh, my God, what happened?"
His daughter explained the situation and he took the overwrought Lily in his arms.
"I've gotta see him, Peter. If I don't…"
"Hush. Let's take it slowly. Your mom and dad won't take you?"
"I don't wanna risk them saying no."
"Well, they might not. Let's call your mother and ask her."
She waited with baited breath as he called her house. He answered to the maid and then Mrs. Dumott got on. They talked, but Lily was so afraid that her brain had been temporarily shut off. She finally heard him say, "Thank you, ma'am, this will mean so much to her. Goodbye."
Peter inched over to the couch and laid his hand on her shoulder. She looked up, eyes wide with fear.
"She said yes, honey," he smiled gently.
Her jaw fell. In a lighter situation she would have asked if he was sure that was her real mother and not some android. She slowly looked over at Juliet and embraced her.
"It's gonna be all right, Lily," she whispered.
***************************************
Lily ran to the front desk of the hospital. Her mother walked about ten feet behind her.
"Hi," she said hurriedly to the receptionist. "What room is Angel Dumott Schunard in?"
"Room 12A on the sixth floor," she answered flatly.
"Thank you."
She bolted for the elevator but turned sharply as her mother called:
"Remember, Lillian, one hour maximum."
"Don't waste my time," she said coldly. "I'll be out when Angel wants me out."
She disappeared onto the elevator. It seemed to take an eternity to reach her floor, but finally it did. She ran down the hall so fast it didn't seem like her feet were touching the floor. She forced herself to slow down before entering the room. She did not want to frighten Angel. Slowly, she pushed the door open and entered the small white room. She'd seen rooms like this in her nightmares. Thankfully, she saw Collins' figure sitting in a chair beside the bed.
"Collins," she whispered and he whipped around.
"Lily!"
He got up to embrace her. It felt so good to be in his arms.
"You came."
"How is he?"
He sighed and led her to his bedside. He was slumbering, but not easily. The sleep was obviously drug-induced. He tossed and turned as much as the small bed would allow. Her horrified gaze drifted from the blinking buzzing machine he was connected to, to his body under those paper thin excuses for blankets. His skin was parchment pale, almost transparent, literally hanging off his bones. He seemed to have shrunk in size. His eyes had bruised dark bags underneath them. This was not her Angel. This was a dying man.
Collins went to rouse him, but she stopped him.
"No!" she protested. "Don't disturb him because of me."
"He'll get mad at me if he doesn't wring out every last second he can have with you," he smiled.
He shook him gently.
"Angel," he whispered, "someone special to see you, honey."
Beautiful brown eyes fluttered open feebly. They widened in shock as they landed on her.
"Hey," she smiled weakly. She couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Tiger Lily…" It was barely a whisper. "Is it…really you?"
She nodded. Collins put a chair behind her and she sat.
"I brought you a present."
She displayed the oddly shaped package to him. He smiled. It was shaky, but it shone with happiness.
"You are my present."
She laughed shyly.
"I'll open it for you," she smiled.
She unwrapped it to reveal a set of bongos. Angel's mouth opened, but no sound came. With a trembling hand he reached up and touched his initials.
"My drums," he whispered. "Where…did…you…?"
"I found them in your closet back at your old house," she said gleefully. "Can you believe it?"
He groped for her hand and held it tightly. Collins could see on her face that she was trying to figure out what to say next.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked timidly.
He shook his head sleepily.
"You would…worry," he mumbled in a tired gravely voice that was not his.
He changed the subject.
"How's Juliet?"
She smiled.
"I love her," she said truthfully, and he nodded, smiling as well.
"Good," he uttered.
"She thought…she thought it would be best if she didn't come today. She said it would be better if it was just us. And besides, today's a school day."
He gave her as disapproving a look as he could muster.
"You skipped school?"
She rolled her eyes.
"I had to see you. If I waited it might have been too late. Lord knows I want to stay here with you but…"
He shook his head again.
"I know, I know. I just came to tell you that I love you more than life itself. And you're gonna get better. You're gonna live for a good long time and we'll never lose each other again."
Tears welled up in Angel's eyes as they bored into Lily's catlike green ones.
"Lily…" he wept, losing strength. "Lily…Lily…"
"Shhh," she ordered. "Don't exhaust yourself."
He shook his head again.
"Lily…" He tried one last time. "I'll…miss…you…so…much."
"No!" she said forcefully. "Angel, you can't die! Who'll love me if you die?"
He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering strength. Then, he reached up and anchored his hand on her shoulder. Using her for support, he sat up. Collins started to stop him, but knew Angel had to do whatever he was trying to.
Agonizingly slowly, Angel leaned towards Lily's face. His lips barely touched hers when he collapsed back onto the bed. He let his head loll to the side and he slept. He wasn't gone, but Lily knew that that kiss was goodbye.
*********************************
As Mrs. Dumott had expected, Lily was hysterical crying when she stepped off the elevator. Without a word, she passed her mother and crumpled into a chair.
"Is he-?" she began.
"No," she answered curtly. "Not yet."
There was a long silence. The mother sat down in the chair next to hers. She knew better than to touch her daughter, but she tried to the best of her abilities to give motherly advice.
"Darling, I understand why you're upset. But you have to understand that these things just happen. AIDS is one of those things our society has to deal with. Angel being…the way he is…had greater chances of getting sick and…"
She broke off, for Lily's expression gave her no encouragement to continue.
"What are you saying?" she hissed. "What do you think he wants this?"
"Of course not. I'm just saying that he knew the risk and went ahead and became…the way he is."
Again she used that phrase, as though homosexuality was the disease rather than AIDS.
"You think he deserves this, don't you?" Lily whispered fiercely. "You think he deserves a punishment for being gay and this is it."
The mother looked at the floor, unable to deny this. Lily shook her head incredulously.
"It's what I believe, Lillian. Don't hold my ideas against me."
Lily stood up angrily, still shaking her head. This woman dared call herself a mother? This stranger dared have a free conscience about her bigotry?
"You know something?" she snapped. "You are full of shit. You pretend like all you want is to be the perfect mother and like you're so wise in the ways of the world. You and I both know you wish you could just wash your hands of me because I'm gay. And believe me there's nothing I want more. You worked so hard to keep Angel and me apart for fear of 'corruption'. Angel's more of a person than you'll ever know how to be. But you can't see that, can you, Mom? Because to you all he'll ever be, all I'll ever be is gay. We'll never be good enough for you."
People were staring, but she didn't care. She couldn't even see them. She couldn't see anything. Sobbing, she ran out the door.
Lily said nothing the whole drive back. Upon getting home she bolted up the stairs and locked herself in her room. She tore it apart, smashing and ripping as much as she could. She felt at home in the mess. It mirrored her, confused chaotic and emotional. Then she sat on her bed with her diary and wrote random words and phrases in a vain attempt to put into words the raw savage grief that was tearing her apart. Her head was splitting so she popped four Advil. They, combined with depression, brought her into a heavy dreamless sleep.
The feds shut down my lab so clones are unavailable at this time. Um...I'll give Godiva chocolates to reviewers!
