Mathematics - Laws of TeniPuri

Disclaimer - I do not own Tennis no Oujisama, nor do I profit economically in anyway from writing this fanfic.

Notes - Another Valentine's day ficlet. EchizenMomoshiro, so once again, if you is not liking, then you is not reading.

Summary - We learn all about the math in TeniPuri

Enjoy.

---

If anyone had ever asked Echizen Ryoma what his favourite drink was, his immediate and obvious answer would definitely be Ponta. Whoever did not know that was either extremely ignorant and/or dumb or had his head stuck in a mental state of who-cares-what-goes-on-around-me-unless-it-concerns-tennis-or-mountains-of-cheeseburgers.

Momoshiro Takeshi, was one of those rare few who was classified under that category. In fact, he was the only one who was classified under that category.

Of course, Echizen knew his senpai's ignorance did not stop there, not only did he not know (or possibly not care to find out) what he liked to drink, he was daft enough not to notice the way Echizen regarded his senior.

It definitely wasn't coincidence that Echizen always seemed to walk out his house when Momoshiro came by on his bike. It wasn't a coincidence either that during tennis practice, unless absolutely necessary, that Echizen was to be found more than ten metres away from Momoshiro. And if that wasn't bad enough, his clueless senior, who was so clueless that it would make the ever-sleeping Jiroh seem like a news broadcaster, did not realise how Echizen always sat beside him during train rides or bus rides to and from matches.

Needless to say, Echizen was so frustrated he felt like breaking his tennis racket, something rare enough that it could be considered equivalent to Inui Juice actually tasting pleasant.

Now, we all know this. Newton's first law of TeniPuri states that:

Inui juice does not equal to or is less than Consumable food. And as we can see that consumable food does not equal tasty, thus we can conclude that Inui juice of any kind, may it be super puke-green re-mix vegetable / dead fruit version 124643.7 Inui juice or simply Penal Tea, does not equal to or is less than Tasty. In simpler terms. Inui juice is not tasty.

'I cannot break my racket, I must not break my racket. I cannot break my racket, I must not break my racket.' Echizen muttered rapidly under his breath. Stopping only to take a deep breath and continuing to repeat the mantra. 'Great,' Echizen thought, 'I'm turning in to Ibu Shinji number two.'

Speak of the devil. The Fudomine player zoomed by, sitting behind Kamio, who was speeding down the hill, apparently trying to prove to his Buchou that car accidents were indeed more fatal that flying down a slope with cars coming at you at 90km/h.

Echizen caught hints of the famous mutterer's mutters.

'Must buy a carrot for my grandmother, speaking of carrots, I haven't seen fluffy in a while, I should really try to visit it sometime soon, but back to the topic, I should buy my grandmother a carrot. Because carrots make your eyesight better, which is why fluffy does not wear spectacles, but grandmother is blind, so she won't be able to see what she has to eat, so I should not buy the carrot for her, but then carrots are good for your eyesight. Maybe if grandma eats a carrot, she'll regain her eyesight, so I should buy her a carrot. Speaking of carrots, I have to get one for fluffy too, but anyway, should I or should I not buy grandma a carrot…'

It was amazing how Kamio could concentrate on the road.

*Crash*

Echizen reconsidered his previous statement.

Echizen pulled his cap even lower, ignoring to crowd of people who flocked to see the two teenagers fall off the tree, from their awkward positions, Echizen supposed that hanging off tree branches was very uncomfortable.

As Echizen continued to walk down the street, a can of Ponta clutched casually in hand, he suddenly realised that it was actually the fourteenth of February, Valentine's day to be exact. He was never one to bother about such redundant occasions, but this time it seemed different, it seemed that he had something to do. And that pulled him out of his house at an ungodly hour of nine in the morning, it was Saturday for goodness sake!

On Echizen's mental Saturday checklist, there were only three things to do.

1) Sleep (which he wasn't doing )
2) Sleep (which he still wasn't doing)

Newton's second law of TeniPuri clearly states that:

Echizen - Sleep = Grouchy kid

3) Think about Momoshiro (which he did all the time, even when it wasn't on his things-to-do list.)

Now he was just aimlessly wandering the streets of Tokyo, trying to figure out what he was suppose to do. Of course, we all learnt this basic equation in school. Newton's third law of TeniPuri states that:

Echizen + Wandering + Valentine's Day + Fanfiction writers = Echizen walking towards Momoshiro's house (supposedly aimlessly) Or in short, EWVF = EwtMh.

Of course, this resulted in Echizen ending up right outside Momoshiro's house, wondering how he had gotten there in the first place. Echizen had even more to wonder about when his Ponta can had seemly disappeared from his hand.

Of course he had not seen the Ponta thief, I mean, if you had a hat pulled over your eyes, you wouldn't be able to see much but your feet would you?

Adjusting his hat, he looked up, and saw Momoshiro happily finished off his can of Ponta. Of course, we learnt this in school too. Newton's fourth law of TeniPuri states that:

Food of any kind + Momoshiro = No food (Food does not equal to Inui Juice)

Echizen glared at his senior, who was still happily gulping his Ponta up. Momoshiro looked at Echizen and grinned.

"So what would Echizen Ryoma be doing in front of my house, on Valentine's day?"

"…"

"Come give your Senpai flowers?"

"…"

"Okay.. whatever. Thanks for the Ponta though." Momoshiro said teasingly.

"I want my Ponta back."

"Aww, come on, you're not making your poor Senpai buy a can of Ponta for you, evil kid." Momoshiro came close to whining, but Echizen thought he sounded good whining. He wondered how he could make Momoshiro whine more often, then dragged his thoughts away from there.

Back to school again, Newton's fifth law of TeniPuri states that:

Echizen + Almost reaching puberty + Momoshiro = Bad thoughts (in which bad thoughts does not equal to Pg-13)

"Whoever said I was going to make you buy another can for me, there are other ways to get my Ponta back." Having said that, Echizen reached up and kissed his Senpai, barely noticing that his Senpai did actually smell like Ponta.

---

Let us start over again.

If anyone had ever asked Echizen Ryoma what his favourite drink was, his immediate and obvious answer would definitely not be Ponta. Nor would it be Inui juice or Penal Tea.

Has anyone told you how good the new peach Ponta tasted?

---

Dear Diary,
Today I had a mathematics quiz, fairly easy it was, questions were actually very funny.

1) EWVF = EwtMh
2) Food of any kind + Momoshiro = No food (Food does not equal to Inui Juice)
3) Echizen + Almost reaching puberty + Momoshiro = Bad thoughts (in which bad thoughts does not equal to Pg-13)
4) E + M = K

I couldn't solve the last one though, the first three took me very little time.

Damn.

Dear Diary,
We got back our quizzes today, I did pass, the first three were all correct, but question four turned out to be pretty easy, it was Newton's sixth law of TeniPuri, something I neglected to study, but apparently it was proved fairly recently.

E + M = K

or

Echizen + Momoshiro = Kissie

Shoot, I could have gotten that one.

_______________________________
Author's notes - This was written on the same day as the other one (OhtoriShishido), rather same morning, hope you like it. It was inspired by, sadly, my math homework which I was doing just now. Who ever would have thought that equations could inspire fanfiction.

Newton does not have laws of TeniPuri, nor does he have a fourth law. It stops at 'every action has an equal and opposite reaction'. Those laws have all been made up.