A/N: I've got nothing.
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[Will you forgive me?]
[Maybe]
Maybe. Ryo smiled at that thought. "RYO!" He brought his attention back to Carol, who was trying on wedding gowns. "What do you think of this one?"
"Beautiful," he said.
"Really?"
He nodded. She grinned widely. It had been three weeks since he and Dee had talked. Since then Berkley had sent him to represent the 27th at a police convention in Denver. He left the day after they talked. Nobody knew why Berkley had sent Dee, but they didn't argue it either. Bikky was sitting in a chair by the dressing room muttering something about Dee being gone. How he should be here instead of in Denver.
"So when is Dee coming home?" Carol asked.
"Tomorrow I think," Ryo said.
"So you think you two will make up?" He hoped so. He really hoped so.
Later he returned home to find Dee standing outside of his apartment. He was leaning up against the wall. Ryo's heart began to race, but he didn't show it. Dee smiled at him. Both men stood silent for a long time. Both were feeling a bit uncomfortable. "May I come in?" Dee finally asked him.
"Sure. Just let me unlock the door first." Ryo unlocked the door and Dee followed him inside. He watched Ryo put away groceries. "So how you been?" Ryo asked him.
"I've been good," Dee said with a slight smile. "A bit lonely though. You?"
"Same."
The tension in the room was thick. Both men wanted so badly to say something, but both held back. Dee rubbed the back of his neck. The past three weeks had been strange, apart of being in Denver, he didn't once talk to Ryo. This was the first time either them had talked. Ryo was still wonder if Dee was ever going to forgive him.
"So how was the convention?" he asked.
"Boring as shit. I have no idea why Berkley sent me."
"Maybe it was to torture you."
"Well, it worked."
They both laughed and Dee gave him a smile. A smile, that every time Ryo saw it, his knees went weak. Dee moved closer to him, pressing him against the wall. Ryo's heart began to race as Dee leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. He ran his tongue over Ryo's bottom lip. He opened his mouth, giving Dee full access. They stood there for a few minutes kissing. They stared into each other's eyes when they parted.
"Dee, I-"
Dee held a finger to his lips. "Don't. Just don't." Ryo stared at him. "I've had a lot of time to think over these past three weeks about what happened. And it wasn't entirely your fault. I'm partly to blame as well." Ryo kissed him. "Can things be back to the way they were?" Ryo asked. Dee bit his lip. He wanted things to be how they were. But he wasn't sure if that was possible. He started for the door. He couldn't stay.
"Please don't go," Ryo pleaded. He was on the edge of tears. "I'm sorry."
Dee clenched his fist. Why does he keep saying that? He turned to him. "Ryo, sorry isn't going to solve this. You know that. I want to come back, believe me."
"Then why don't you?!"
"Because, you don't trust me. I'm not sure if you ever did. I never gave you reason not to."
"Dee, kudasai." He was crying now. He wanted this whole thing to be over with. He just wanted to be with Dee. "Please don't go. I do trust you."
"You just can't say it. It isn't going to make things better." Ryo fell to the floor. Dee knelt down in front of him and cupped his face. "Don't cry, please."
"I love you, Koi."
"I love you too. But, this is going to take awhile," Dee said. Ryo shook his head. "But I admitted I was wrong," he sobbed.
"I know," Dee said soothingly. "I forgive you. But that still doesn't change that you couldn't trust me. You have no idea how that feels. It hurts Ryo. A lot." Ryo went to say something, but Dee put a finger to his lips and shook his head. "Don't make this harder then it already it. Please." Ryo cried into his chest. He couldn't believe this was happening. He thought they were going to make up. He thought things were going to go back to normal. Slowly Dee got up off the floor, reluctantly pulling away from Ryo's grasped. He headed for the door. He could hear Ryo begging him not to go. It tore at his heart as he shut the door behind him. He leaned against and listened to Ryo cry. He hated doing this, but he had to.
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Ryo called off of work the next day. He would loose it if he saw did. His heart hurt, his soul hurt. He felt as if he was dead. It was he fault, that this was happening. He just wanted Dee back. He wished none of this every happened.
At the office, Dee stared at Ryo's empty desk. He knew why Ryo wasn't there. And he felt bad because of it. Maybe he should forget and go back. No. He couldn't. Even thought Ryo realized he was wrong, he still didn't trust him. He wanted to be with Ryo and much as Ryo wanted to be with him, he needed to be trusted as well as loved. Fuck. If only he had asked Ryo, none of this would've happened. Now, it didn't seem like a possibility.
"Just ask him."
Dee looked over to see Drake sitting across from him. "What's the big deal? Just ask him."
A looked of annoyance crossed Dee's face. "It's not that easy, Drake. Ryo told me he didn't trust me. That's why he accused me of cheating on him. If he can't trust me I can't be with him. It's as simple as that."
"You're such a hard ass."
"Excuse me?"
"Do you realize what you're doing to him?"
"Do you realize what he did to me? Do you know how many times this has happened to me? And all those times, I never done anything to make anyone think I wasn't trust worthy. I love Ryo, with everything I have. But."
"I know. I know. You need trust." Dee nodded. "Forgive him. Put all this behind you." "No." "Dee." Dee got out of his chair and stormed out of the office. Drake wasn't going to tell him what was good for his love life. He knew what was good. He knew what he was doing. Didn't he? Was what he doing right? Of course it was. Maybe. "I'm just tired of being hurt," he said softly.
Dee went home early. And sat around in his little apartment. He found a small, cheep apartment near the station. It was nice, a little empty, but nice. He got a beer out of the fridge, opened and sat down to watch TV. A little while later there was a knock on the door. Ryo was standing on the other side, he was soaking wet from the rain. "I spent the past four hours looking for you. JJ told me where you lived." Dee stared at him. There was a desperate look on Ryo's face.
"Jesus Ryo, you're soaked." He nodded. "Get in here. I'll give you some dry clothes." Ryo entered and wait quietly as Dee got him some dry clothes. "The bathroom is down the hall and to your left. Come into the living room when you're done." Ryo nodded and disappeared down the hall. A few minutes later Ryo reappeared dressed and dry. He sat quietly next to Dee on the couch. "Now exactly what where you doing out in the rain for four hours?" Dee asked him.
"Looking for you," Ryo said softly. "I needed to talk to you. It about what you said last night."
"Ryo, I-"
"Just hear me out, please. I did a lot of thinking. And I came to realize something. It wasn't you that I couldn't trust. It was myself." Dee raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Really don't know how to explain it. But there wasn't a time that I didn't trust. I've always trusted you. I guess I was just scared." He sighed. "I know you're tired of hearing this. But I AM sorry. For everything I've put you through. I just want to badly to have things back to the way they were." Ryo got up and headed for the door. "That's what I wanted to tell you. I don't expect you to come back. I just needed to tell you this. I'll leave now."
Ryo put his hand on the doorknob. "Wait," Dee said softly. He looked up at Ryo. "Don't go." Both men stared at each other. Dee got up and walked over to Ryo and pulled him into a soft embrace. "I just don't want to get hurt anymore," he whispered into Ryo's ear.
"I promise I will never hurt you again. Ever. Please give me your heart again." Dee didn't say anything. Was he really going to put his heart back into Ryo's hands? "I don't know Ryo. I just don't know. I want to give you my heart again. But I'm afraid you'll break it again." "I won't."
Tears fell down Dee's cheeks. Should he go back? He wasn't sure. Ryo held tight to Dee. He didn't want to let go of him. Ever. He lost him once. He didn't want to loose him again. When Dee didn't say anything, Ryo feared that he was going to be pushed away again. Suddenly, Dee lips were pressed against him, his tongue probing at his mouth. Ryo opened his mouth. Dee pulled Ryo to the couch and laid him down. He did this without separating their lips. A shiver went through Ryo. He could fell Dee passion, and met it with an equally passion.
Dee snaked his hand up Ryo's shirt and ran his hands over his chest, causing Ryo to moan. In one quick motion, Dee had both of their shirts on the floor. He lay back on top of Ryo, pressing skin against skin. Dee began to fumble with Ryo's belt. Ryo grabbed his hands. "Dee wait."
"What?"
"The bedroom."
Dee smiled and carried Ryo into the bedroom. With in second Dee had his pants off and tossed somewhere on the other side of the room. He didn't particularly care where. He started to rub himself against Ryo, causing them both to moan loudly. "Ryo," Dee panted. "I'm so close." "Dee." Both men cried out as they released. They both lay there panting. Dee began to kiss down Ryo's neck.
"Dee, are you sure?" Dee didn't answer he continue to kiss down Ryo's body. Ryo smiled and closed his eyes. He had his Dee back.
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"Sweet Jesus," Dee said with delight. "That was good. Why is make up sex always better then regular sex?" Ryo giggled and shrugged. He scooted close to Dee, who wrapped an arm around him. "Ai shiteru," Ryo whispered. "I love you too Ryo." Suddenly Dee rolled over on top of Ryo. "Want to go again?" he asked with a glint in his eye. Ryo began to laugh, then kissed Dee and nodded. Dee laughed and Ryo them over. "This time you get to be on top." They spent the rest of the night making love.
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There. Done. They made. ALL IS WELL!!! Now all I have to do is finish this story. Which may be happening shortly. Keep reading. I hope you're enjoying this. I really do. Thank you for sticking with me this far. Peace, Love & All That Good Stuff.
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[Will you forgive me?]
[Maybe]
Maybe. Ryo smiled at that thought. "RYO!" He brought his attention back to Carol, who was trying on wedding gowns. "What do you think of this one?"
"Beautiful," he said.
"Really?"
He nodded. She grinned widely. It had been three weeks since he and Dee had talked. Since then Berkley had sent him to represent the 27th at a police convention in Denver. He left the day after they talked. Nobody knew why Berkley had sent Dee, but they didn't argue it either. Bikky was sitting in a chair by the dressing room muttering something about Dee being gone. How he should be here instead of in Denver.
"So when is Dee coming home?" Carol asked.
"Tomorrow I think," Ryo said.
"So you think you two will make up?" He hoped so. He really hoped so.
Later he returned home to find Dee standing outside of his apartment. He was leaning up against the wall. Ryo's heart began to race, but he didn't show it. Dee smiled at him. Both men stood silent for a long time. Both were feeling a bit uncomfortable. "May I come in?" Dee finally asked him.
"Sure. Just let me unlock the door first." Ryo unlocked the door and Dee followed him inside. He watched Ryo put away groceries. "So how you been?" Ryo asked him.
"I've been good," Dee said with a slight smile. "A bit lonely though. You?"
"Same."
The tension in the room was thick. Both men wanted so badly to say something, but both held back. Dee rubbed the back of his neck. The past three weeks had been strange, apart of being in Denver, he didn't once talk to Ryo. This was the first time either them had talked. Ryo was still wonder if Dee was ever going to forgive him.
"So how was the convention?" he asked.
"Boring as shit. I have no idea why Berkley sent me."
"Maybe it was to torture you."
"Well, it worked."
They both laughed and Dee gave him a smile. A smile, that every time Ryo saw it, his knees went weak. Dee moved closer to him, pressing him against the wall. Ryo's heart began to race as Dee leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. He ran his tongue over Ryo's bottom lip. He opened his mouth, giving Dee full access. They stood there for a few minutes kissing. They stared into each other's eyes when they parted.
"Dee, I-"
Dee held a finger to his lips. "Don't. Just don't." Ryo stared at him. "I've had a lot of time to think over these past three weeks about what happened. And it wasn't entirely your fault. I'm partly to blame as well." Ryo kissed him. "Can things be back to the way they were?" Ryo asked. Dee bit his lip. He wanted things to be how they were. But he wasn't sure if that was possible. He started for the door. He couldn't stay.
"Please don't go," Ryo pleaded. He was on the edge of tears. "I'm sorry."
Dee clenched his fist. Why does he keep saying that? He turned to him. "Ryo, sorry isn't going to solve this. You know that. I want to come back, believe me."
"Then why don't you?!"
"Because, you don't trust me. I'm not sure if you ever did. I never gave you reason not to."
"Dee, kudasai." He was crying now. He wanted this whole thing to be over with. He just wanted to be with Dee. "Please don't go. I do trust you."
"You just can't say it. It isn't going to make things better." Ryo fell to the floor. Dee knelt down in front of him and cupped his face. "Don't cry, please."
"I love you, Koi."
"I love you too. But, this is going to take awhile," Dee said. Ryo shook his head. "But I admitted I was wrong," he sobbed.
"I know," Dee said soothingly. "I forgive you. But that still doesn't change that you couldn't trust me. You have no idea how that feels. It hurts Ryo. A lot." Ryo went to say something, but Dee put a finger to his lips and shook his head. "Don't make this harder then it already it. Please." Ryo cried into his chest. He couldn't believe this was happening. He thought they were going to make up. He thought things were going to go back to normal. Slowly Dee got up off the floor, reluctantly pulling away from Ryo's grasped. He headed for the door. He could hear Ryo begging him not to go. It tore at his heart as he shut the door behind him. He leaned against and listened to Ryo cry. He hated doing this, but he had to.
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Ryo called off of work the next day. He would loose it if he saw did. His heart hurt, his soul hurt. He felt as if he was dead. It was he fault, that this was happening. He just wanted Dee back. He wished none of this every happened.
At the office, Dee stared at Ryo's empty desk. He knew why Ryo wasn't there. And he felt bad because of it. Maybe he should forget and go back. No. He couldn't. Even thought Ryo realized he was wrong, he still didn't trust him. He wanted to be with Ryo and much as Ryo wanted to be with him, he needed to be trusted as well as loved. Fuck. If only he had asked Ryo, none of this would've happened. Now, it didn't seem like a possibility.
"Just ask him."
Dee looked over to see Drake sitting across from him. "What's the big deal? Just ask him."
A looked of annoyance crossed Dee's face. "It's not that easy, Drake. Ryo told me he didn't trust me. That's why he accused me of cheating on him. If he can't trust me I can't be with him. It's as simple as that."
"You're such a hard ass."
"Excuse me?"
"Do you realize what you're doing to him?"
"Do you realize what he did to me? Do you know how many times this has happened to me? And all those times, I never done anything to make anyone think I wasn't trust worthy. I love Ryo, with everything I have. But."
"I know. I know. You need trust." Dee nodded. "Forgive him. Put all this behind you." "No." "Dee." Dee got out of his chair and stormed out of the office. Drake wasn't going to tell him what was good for his love life. He knew what was good. He knew what he was doing. Didn't he? Was what he doing right? Of course it was. Maybe. "I'm just tired of being hurt," he said softly.
Dee went home early. And sat around in his little apartment. He found a small, cheep apartment near the station. It was nice, a little empty, but nice. He got a beer out of the fridge, opened and sat down to watch TV. A little while later there was a knock on the door. Ryo was standing on the other side, he was soaking wet from the rain. "I spent the past four hours looking for you. JJ told me where you lived." Dee stared at him. There was a desperate look on Ryo's face.
"Jesus Ryo, you're soaked." He nodded. "Get in here. I'll give you some dry clothes." Ryo entered and wait quietly as Dee got him some dry clothes. "The bathroom is down the hall and to your left. Come into the living room when you're done." Ryo nodded and disappeared down the hall. A few minutes later Ryo reappeared dressed and dry. He sat quietly next to Dee on the couch. "Now exactly what where you doing out in the rain for four hours?" Dee asked him.
"Looking for you," Ryo said softly. "I needed to talk to you. It about what you said last night."
"Ryo, I-"
"Just hear me out, please. I did a lot of thinking. And I came to realize something. It wasn't you that I couldn't trust. It was myself." Dee raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Really don't know how to explain it. But there wasn't a time that I didn't trust. I've always trusted you. I guess I was just scared." He sighed. "I know you're tired of hearing this. But I AM sorry. For everything I've put you through. I just want to badly to have things back to the way they were." Ryo got up and headed for the door. "That's what I wanted to tell you. I don't expect you to come back. I just needed to tell you this. I'll leave now."
Ryo put his hand on the doorknob. "Wait," Dee said softly. He looked up at Ryo. "Don't go." Both men stared at each other. Dee got up and walked over to Ryo and pulled him into a soft embrace. "I just don't want to get hurt anymore," he whispered into Ryo's ear.
"I promise I will never hurt you again. Ever. Please give me your heart again." Dee didn't say anything. Was he really going to put his heart back into Ryo's hands? "I don't know Ryo. I just don't know. I want to give you my heart again. But I'm afraid you'll break it again." "I won't."
Tears fell down Dee's cheeks. Should he go back? He wasn't sure. Ryo held tight to Dee. He didn't want to let go of him. Ever. He lost him once. He didn't want to loose him again. When Dee didn't say anything, Ryo feared that he was going to be pushed away again. Suddenly, Dee lips were pressed against him, his tongue probing at his mouth. Ryo opened his mouth. Dee pulled Ryo to the couch and laid him down. He did this without separating their lips. A shiver went through Ryo. He could fell Dee passion, and met it with an equally passion.
Dee snaked his hand up Ryo's shirt and ran his hands over his chest, causing Ryo to moan. In one quick motion, Dee had both of their shirts on the floor. He lay back on top of Ryo, pressing skin against skin. Dee began to fumble with Ryo's belt. Ryo grabbed his hands. "Dee wait."
"What?"
"The bedroom."
Dee smiled and carried Ryo into the bedroom. With in second Dee had his pants off and tossed somewhere on the other side of the room. He didn't particularly care where. He started to rub himself against Ryo, causing them both to moan loudly. "Ryo," Dee panted. "I'm so close." "Dee." Both men cried out as they released. They both lay there panting. Dee began to kiss down Ryo's neck.
"Dee, are you sure?" Dee didn't answer he continue to kiss down Ryo's body. Ryo smiled and closed his eyes. He had his Dee back.
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"Sweet Jesus," Dee said with delight. "That was good. Why is make up sex always better then regular sex?" Ryo giggled and shrugged. He scooted close to Dee, who wrapped an arm around him. "Ai shiteru," Ryo whispered. "I love you too Ryo." Suddenly Dee rolled over on top of Ryo. "Want to go again?" he asked with a glint in his eye. Ryo began to laugh, then kissed Dee and nodded. Dee laughed and Ryo them over. "This time you get to be on top." They spent the rest of the night making love.
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There. Done. They made. ALL IS WELL!!! Now all I have to do is finish this story. Which may be happening shortly. Keep reading. I hope you're enjoying this. I really do. Thank you for sticking with me this far. Peace, Love & All That Good Stuff.
