Severus Snape - Master Chef
by Barbi Bee
A/n 1: the characters are not mine they are merely borrowed
A/n 2: this story is in answer to a WIKTT challenge to have Severus Snape dressed in drag (women's clothing)
A/n 3: to otherside2 - I was thinking more of cash in hand, because at Hogwarts he has permanent accomodation, meals, quite possibly robes etc all provided for him free of charge.
to JennyRad - thanks for your comments, I've only been writing since December so all constructive criticism is gratefully received, because how else will I improve.
to Caoilte - The nose needed to be hidden somehow and what better way than a black mourning veil, besides Severus would never willingly wear anything but black.
to Imhilien - thanks mate, cheers.
to Betz - thanks for the review and I'll do as you ask.
Chapter 2
Having 'Aunt Sophie' staying with her, meant that Hermione had to move from her one-bedroom flat to a two-bedroom flat because naturally it wouldn't be quite right for them to share a room. 'Aunt Sophie' also helped out in the Abbey gift shop from time-to-time to offset the extra accomodation costs now incurred for the larger flat.
With only had one more day before they were due to leave Tresco and knowing it would be difficult to travel under their own names, Hermione and Severus decided to use aliases. Figuring it to be an easy way of finding new names, Hermione logged on to the net and went to the Barrow-Downs web-site, from there she went to 'The Middle-earth Name Generator' page and entered her full name of 'Hermione Elizabeth Granger' and Severus' full name of 'Severus Alexander Snape'. Printing the results so that they could study them at leisure she was surprised to hear Severus laughing behind her. Wondering what was so funny she too started laughing when he pointed to what the Red Book of Westmarch said about them, apparently Severus was a 'World Famous Took' while she was an 'Amorous Warg'.
After much debate over which names to use they eventually settled on their female Hobbit names, and so Hermione would become Primrose Greenhand while Severus would be known as Linda Millbanks. Deciding to celebrate with a 'Farewell to Tresco' drink at 'The New Inn' they got dressed up, at least Hermione did. Severus insisted on wearing his widow's weeds with the addition of a little make-up (applied by Hermione) and some pearls looped loosely around his neck.
Once at 'The New Inn' the made their way to the Beer Garden to enjoy the late summer sun. They ordered a bottle of Champagne, a plate of garlic bread and settled down at one of the tables provided. As the sun began to set, they heard a commotion in the Main Bar as a drunk patron was asked to leave. Another patron, also slightly under the weather, entered the Beer Garden and after looking around approached their table. Thinking he was going to make some kind of obscene suggestion, Hermione prepared herself to repulse the man. She was therefore somewhat startled to recognise the man as Lucius Malfoy and rather amused when he approached 'Aunt Sophie' and whispered something in her ear. 'Aunt Sophie' retaliated by smacking him in the face with her handbag and telling him - in no uncertain terms - that she was Not that kind of woman, thankyou very much.
After receiving apologies from the Inn manager, Hermione and Severus returned to the Abbey. Once in their rooms Hermione dissolved into a fit of giggles, in reply to Severus' question as to the cause of her mirth she said "Do you remember when I was in third year. Remus Lupin taught DADA and we had a lesson on Boggarts?"
"Are you by any remote chance referring to the time when Mr Longbottom's Boggart turned into a cross between myself and his Grandmother?"
"Yes. The incident with Mr Malfoy tonight reminded me of it. Seeing you wield that handbag like a pro and then telling him off like that, it was just too much. It really was."
"It was rather amusing wasn't it, but unless you want Gryffindor to mysteriously lose points for no apparent reason over the next five years I suggest you keep the information to yourself."
"You wouldn't?"
"Try it and found out."
"Second thoughts, you probably would. Well, Goodnight Aunt Sophie." she said giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Cheeky little devil aren't you?" he replied as he returned her kiss not on the cheek but quite firmly on the mouth. He then wiped the smudged lipstick off her face and grinning to himself went to his room.
They left the island the next day after a flurry of goodbyes from new friends and a few old ones who had known Hermione's parents. Leaving from the Island's Heliport they flew to Penzance to begin the next part of their adventure together.
To be Continued
by Barbi Bee
A/n 1: the characters are not mine they are merely borrowed
A/n 2: this story is in answer to a WIKTT challenge to have Severus Snape dressed in drag (women's clothing)
A/n 3: to otherside2 - I was thinking more of cash in hand, because at Hogwarts he has permanent accomodation, meals, quite possibly robes etc all provided for him free of charge.
to JennyRad - thanks for your comments, I've only been writing since December so all constructive criticism is gratefully received, because how else will I improve.
to Caoilte - The nose needed to be hidden somehow and what better way than a black mourning veil, besides Severus would never willingly wear anything but black.
to Imhilien - thanks mate, cheers.
to Betz - thanks for the review and I'll do as you ask.
Chapter 2
Having 'Aunt Sophie' staying with her, meant that Hermione had to move from her one-bedroom flat to a two-bedroom flat because naturally it wouldn't be quite right for them to share a room. 'Aunt Sophie' also helped out in the Abbey gift shop from time-to-time to offset the extra accomodation costs now incurred for the larger flat.
With only had one more day before they were due to leave Tresco and knowing it would be difficult to travel under their own names, Hermione and Severus decided to use aliases. Figuring it to be an easy way of finding new names, Hermione logged on to the net and went to the Barrow-Downs web-site, from there she went to 'The Middle-earth Name Generator' page and entered her full name of 'Hermione Elizabeth Granger' and Severus' full name of 'Severus Alexander Snape'. Printing the results so that they could study them at leisure she was surprised to hear Severus laughing behind her. Wondering what was so funny she too started laughing when he pointed to what the Red Book of Westmarch said about them, apparently Severus was a 'World Famous Took' while she was an 'Amorous Warg'.
After much debate over which names to use they eventually settled on their female Hobbit names, and so Hermione would become Primrose Greenhand while Severus would be known as Linda Millbanks. Deciding to celebrate with a 'Farewell to Tresco' drink at 'The New Inn' they got dressed up, at least Hermione did. Severus insisted on wearing his widow's weeds with the addition of a little make-up (applied by Hermione) and some pearls looped loosely around his neck.
Once at 'The New Inn' the made their way to the Beer Garden to enjoy the late summer sun. They ordered a bottle of Champagne, a plate of garlic bread and settled down at one of the tables provided. As the sun began to set, they heard a commotion in the Main Bar as a drunk patron was asked to leave. Another patron, also slightly under the weather, entered the Beer Garden and after looking around approached their table. Thinking he was going to make some kind of obscene suggestion, Hermione prepared herself to repulse the man. She was therefore somewhat startled to recognise the man as Lucius Malfoy and rather amused when he approached 'Aunt Sophie' and whispered something in her ear. 'Aunt Sophie' retaliated by smacking him in the face with her handbag and telling him - in no uncertain terms - that she was Not that kind of woman, thankyou very much.
After receiving apologies from the Inn manager, Hermione and Severus returned to the Abbey. Once in their rooms Hermione dissolved into a fit of giggles, in reply to Severus' question as to the cause of her mirth she said "Do you remember when I was in third year. Remus Lupin taught DADA and we had a lesson on Boggarts?"
"Are you by any remote chance referring to the time when Mr Longbottom's Boggart turned into a cross between myself and his Grandmother?"
"Yes. The incident with Mr Malfoy tonight reminded me of it. Seeing you wield that handbag like a pro and then telling him off like that, it was just too much. It really was."
"It was rather amusing wasn't it, but unless you want Gryffindor to mysteriously lose points for no apparent reason over the next five years I suggest you keep the information to yourself."
"You wouldn't?"
"Try it and found out."
"Second thoughts, you probably would. Well, Goodnight Aunt Sophie." she said giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Cheeky little devil aren't you?" he replied as he returned her kiss not on the cheek but quite firmly on the mouth. He then wiped the smudged lipstick off her face and grinning to himself went to his room.
They left the island the next day after a flurry of goodbyes from new friends and a few old ones who had known Hermione's parents. Leaving from the Island's Heliport they flew to Penzance to begin the next part of their adventure together.
To be Continued
