A/N: Well, I hope no one is crying or still planning on killing me by now ^^U I know the ending of "Wings of ruby and amethyst" was cruel and evil, so I just felt like... Like this needed to be done separately and before I started the sequel, since it IS going to be mentioned in the sequel... So please, do not kill the authoress and enjoy the one-shot ^^;;
Disclaimer: I don't _think_ I own it... or else you'd think YY/Y would actually happen in the TV Show, now wouldn't it?
Disclaimer 2: I do not own the song "Lies" (Evanescence does) or "Emotion Sickness" (Silverchair does)
Warning: This fic shall contain little shounen ai... Not that you didn't know it, this is a side-story after all.... So meh, if you don't like it, whatcha still doin' 'round?
Pairing: None (you heard me... There'll be some insinuations, but nothing really obvious)
Keys: "__" means talking, '__' means thinking, and italic means flashback
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Emotion Sickness
By: Lily Maxwell
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~ Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears ~
Silence. That is what remained in the palace for many days. Not a word was said by anyone who walked within the royal walls, in fear that the Pharaoh would do something in revenge upon the sinful creature that broke his silent vow.
For days he remained in his room, and the only words he spoke were to his advisors, who couldn't really rule Egypt by themselves. But other than that, Yami seemed to have lost his voice, because he didn't speak at all.
But the others couldn't understand, no, of course they couldn't. They haven't lost the one they loved the most, they haven't lost someone close to them and that they probably would never see again. No. They didn't know how he was feeling, and probably never would.
Because the Pharaoh had many feelings rushing inside him that he couldn't control. And many thoughts that he couldn't decipher. He felt, most of all, afraid that now that he was alone again that the Shadows would try to come to him again. To try and haunt him, to try and claim him. And he couldn't, in any way, stop thinking that maybe he was predestined to go back to the Shadows. And that scared him. A whole lot.
And the thought that, one day, he had had someone to love... It seemed a big lie. He did not have someone by his side now, he wasn't loved back and his love remained in oblivion. He felt empty inside, and felt like what had happened that week was a lost memory. Was a dream.
Was a lie. Everyone just kept lying to him. Why did they say that he was never coming back, if the Pharaoh felt that he had never been there? Why did they say that he wasn't alone, if he felt lonely inside?
Why did that man say that he was going to receive an Angel of Light, if he wasn't with him right now?
Yami closed his eyes shut tightly, while lying on his bed. He tried not to cry, but he couldn't control his feelings. He was, most of all, confused as to why everything was happening to him. Maybe it was a punishment from the gods to take from him his family and then his love. It was unfair... It wasn't his fault.
It was the Shadows' fault. Everything was their fault.
~ Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again ~
Seto and Kris stood outside Yami's chamber, looking at the door with sad eyes. Their pharaoh was falling towards his own misery, and whatever they tried to do, nothing was working. If he was left like that, they were afraid that he would end up dying due to depression. He refused to eat, refused to speak and refused to stand up at all. How he went to the meeting room and gave his advisors his orders was beyond them, but maybe it was a distraction for Yami to come out of his dark shell of rejection.
"What are we going to do?" Kris asked, her arms crossed over her chest, as she stared at the golden doors with clouded eyes. Seto shook his head.
"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do..." he said, and Kris looked at him with desperate eyes.
"But he's dying, Seto!" she said, and the High Priest looked away. "Maybe slowly in the outside, but in the inside, he's fastly becoming numb! He's succumbing to the darkness without even knowing! We have to do something!" she said, and Seto closed his eyes, thoughtful.
"And what do you suggest, bring Yugi back from wherever he is?" Seto asked, and the High Priestess went silent. He sighed. "Look, Yami is stronger than that. He's just still suffering from the loss of both Yugi and Ellian, and there's nothing we can do. Other than wait, that is." he said, and Kris looked away.
"Are you sure he's strong enough to endure all this pressure?" she asked, and Seto nodded.
"He has lasted these past years, he's the Pharaoh and is good enough as such. He'll get over it, just as he gets used to the idea that Yugi is not coming back, and that neither is Ellian." He said, and Kris narrowed her eyes.
"You must see that before, Yami had the Puzzle, he had the Shadows. They might have been his weakness, but they were also his strength. They blinded him from everything, Seto. What about now? He could easily get over his loss if he had the Shadows, but he doesn't have them. Will he be able to get over it, like you're saying?" she asked, and Seto went silent for a while.
"You have to trust him." He said at last, and then they were off.
~ You will never be strong enough.
You will never be good enough.
You were never conceived in love.
You will not rise above. ~
Yami heard everything that they were saying, and contemplated in his mind each one of the words they said. Was he really strong enough to get over the absence of Yugi and Ellian? Would he be good enough to forget about them, and continue his life? He doubted it. He doubted it very much. He couldn't forget... He couldn't...
~~ Flashback ~~
Ellian gasped. Slowly, she eyed down, seeing the sword pierced through her stomach. Blood fell from the corners of her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks. The monster withdrew the weapon. Ellian fell forward, motionless.
~~
"Why?! Why... are you leaving me?" Yami asked, the tears falling down his cheeks. No... he couldn't be alone... not again!! Not anymore! "I can't be alone!" he yelled, and Yugi sobbed.
"I'm sorry, but I... I have no choice!" He said, crying too. His chest was starting to disappear. "I'm... sorry... so sorry..."
~~
And then, Yugi's body disappeared in a wave of bright light, leaving Yami to stare at the empty space where, minutes before, laid the person he had ever loved in his life.
~~ End of Flashback ~~
Yami held his head in pain as he remembered everything that happened to him so many weeks ago, but that were still vivid in his memory. He tried to convince him that it was over, that maybe it was all a dream that he had to forget, but he couldn't. He just felt like screaming and wanting someone to lie to him and say that nothing happened. He just wanted the pain to end.
And then, consumed in pain and lost in reminiscences, Yami drifted to sleep, remembering clearly the time when he confessed his love to Yugi. But he was alone now. And that thought didn't vanish from his mind, keeping Yami deeper in the darkness as the days went by.
It was needed a miracle for him to finally get salvation.
~ They'll never see
I'll never be ~
"Where is the Pharaoh?" one advisor asked Kris and Seto as they were passing by a corridor. They looked at each other, then glared at the man.
"In his room." Kris answered, and the man frowned.
"Will he ever come out of there? We need him! We need him to rule Kemet decently!" the advisor said, and Seto growled.
"You do not know what the Pharaoh is going through. Leave him alone or you will find out the hard way. Defy the Pharaoh's wrath and the gods will punish you when the time comes. He is going through... An emotion sickness. And just when he gets his cure, will he be able to get out of the darkness." Seto said, and the advisor narrowed his eyes.
"And when will that be?" he asked, and Kris sighed.
"When he stops hearing people like you." She said, and resumed her walk, Seto just behind her. The advisor nothing else said, knowing that it was foolish to argue with a High Priest, even though the subject at hand was a very serious one.
The two then walked in the Throne room, and guards went towards them almost immediately.
"What's wrong?" Kris asked.
"There is a man wanting to talk with the Pharaoh, mistress." One guard said, and Seto frowned.
"The Pharaoh is not to be disturbed. That's a clear order." He said, but another guard stepped forward.
"He says it is important, master. He says he knows about the Pharaoh's problem, and that he knows the cure to his illness." He said, and the two priests looked at each other in wonder.
"Bring him to us." Seto said, and the two guards bowed and left. The two priests stood before the throne and waited for whom the guards would bring forth. They were surprised then, when they walked back in the room with a figure wearing a purple robe, with a hood that made it impossible for you to see his face.
But Seto didn't need to see his face to recognize him.
"You!" he said and ran forward the figure. Standing in front of him, he narrowed his eyes dangerously at him and fought the urge to strangle him. "You were the one that talked to Yami that day! You told him about the 'Angel of Light', part of all this is your fault!" he spat, but the man chuckled.
"I did nothing. I merely helped the Pharaoh." He said, and Seto growled again. The man continued to chuckle. "And I suppose I was right, wasn't I?" he continued, and Seto grabbed him by the collar of his cloak.
"Yes, you were right. Except for the fact that you forgot to say that the Angel of Light was not from this world and that he would disappear!" Seto said, and the man pushed him away.
"There are some things that not even I can know that will happen." He said, and Kris chuckled bitterly.
"So you could have stayed with your mouth shut then." She said, and the man turned to her.
"I had to warn the Pharaoh about what was to happen. The Angel of Light was just a major help in a war that you do not even imagine about. Knowing of his existence helped more than you think." He said. The priests looked at him in wonder.
"What war? What are you talking about?" Kris asked.
"A war against the Shadows." He said, and the two High Priests glanced at each other.
"Quit the nonsense. Just answer us something... What is the cure you were talking about, for the Pharaoh?" Seto asked.
"He will get his Angel of Light back." he said, and the two widened their eyes. "But not in the sense you are thinking." He continued, and Seto growled.
"Stop talking in enigmas and just answer the question accordingly! And just how do you know all that?" he inquired, but the man just chuckled.
"Take me to the Pharaoh, High Priest. Then you will understand what I mean, and you will get your answers." He said, and Seto looked at Kris. The young woman had her eyes closed but when she opened then, Seto saw helplessness.
"We will take you to the Pharaoh." She said, and quickly caught Seto's disapproving gaze. She gave him a stare of her own, but her eyes were emotionless. But Seto knew what she was thinking.
They had no option. But they just hoped things weren't going to be as bad as the last time they were in a situation like that.
~ I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me ~
Kris guided the cloaked man through the luxurious halls of the palace, looking straight ahead. Seto was just lost in his thoughts. He didn't trust this man, and most of all, he didn't trust his words. Last time, he had been right about The Angel of Light, yes, but how could he have seen such thing? Not even him had the powers to see the future, how did a commoner like him know that? And how did he know about the Shadows? No one but the Pharaoh's men knew about them, or the people who had been born with Shadow Powers. Did this man have such powers? Was he born with the capacity to see the future?
No. It was impossible. Unless... He had a special item. But that was nonsense. And Seto was really running out of ideas.
Finally they came upon the golden doors that lead to Yami's chambers. Kris hesitated before opening them, and then turned to the man. Her eyes were narrowed and menacing.
"Do not talk nonsense to the Pharaoh. He is in a very difficult situation and his illness-" but the man interrupted her.
"The Pharaoh is not ill. He is simply trying to convince himself that what is happening is wrong, and that the ones he loved did not leave him." He said, and the priests looked at him in disbelief.
"How do you know about what happened to the Pharaoh? How do you know about his conditions??" Kris asked, her voice higher than usual. The man just raised his hand in a way to tell her to stop.
"I must see the Pharaoh, mistress." He said, and Kris was about to say something when Seto opened the doors. She looked up at his surprised, but he only nodded his head towards the Pharaoh. Obviously he just wanted to get this thing done.
Yami lied on his bed, his back to them. His eyes were semi-opened and glassy, and he was curled up in a ball. His hands clenched his robes in the front, and he didn't move. Even his breathing was slower than normal, and it seemed almost clear that he was sick. His skin was pale, and he was insanely thin.
It was a tragedy.
"Pharaoh." The man said, stepping forward. Yami immediately widened his eyes, recognizing the voice right away. The focus went back into the crimson orbs and he sat up, turning to face the robed figure now standing in the middle of his room.
"You." He whispered, and slowly crawled out of the bed, standing up. The priests were impressed to say the least. Yami wasn't willing in moving all these days but now there he was, standing face to face with a stranger, looking only a distorted image of himself, but other than that, he was a lot closer to the Yami from before.
"You remember me?" the man said, and although his phrase was said as a question, his tone seemed to turn it more like a statement.
"Of course. Your words haunt my dreams." Yami said harshly, narrowing his eyes, emotive as ever. He seemed to awake from his dreams to face his nightmare. "You told me about the angel of light, I believed in you when I saw it happening. Why haven't you told me that he would walk away from my life? Why hadn't you predicted about my sister's death??" he demanded, and the man chuckled.
"I did predict your sister's death. Only I spoke it in way you did not understand." He said. "And you must realize, Pharaoh, that there are some things that not even I know about. Things I cannot see. But the words I gave you were needed." He continued, and Yami continued to glare at him.
"Who are you?" he spoke, tired to wonder about things. His mind was tired, although his body was simply weak. He felt like collapsing at any moment, but he couldn't lose the opportunity to talk to this man.
The man chuckled again, and finally, lowered his hood. Sandy blond hair was revealed to the room's occupants, so wild it could be compared to Yami's. They looked at his face, and observed his naturally narrowed eyes, and for a moment Yami froze. Those eyes were alike, but very different than ones he knew. They were of a stronger color, but were still lavender.
And lastly, Yami recognized the necklace around the man's neck.
"My name is Marik. And I know you can recognize the necklace I carry with me." he said, and Yami released the breath he was holding.
"How did you get that?" he asked, and Marik smirked.
"The old Pharaoh left it with my sister. When she died, I kept it." He answered, seeming to enjoy the perplexed faces of the all the ones in the room. "But that is not the point right now, is it, Pharaoh?" he continued, and Yami had to shake his head to get over the shock.
"What are you doing here?" he asked weakly and sat down on his bed, feeling the strength wearing off.
"I am here to help you, just like the last time. Things have not finished yet Pharaoh, and you must realize that you are not alone in this. The Shadows want revenge, and they will get it. And you cannot stay the way you are, or you will fail completely." He said. Yami shook his head while holding it.
"I... I don't understand..." he said, and Marik sighed.
"Wake to the light, Pharaoh. Can you not understand what is going on? The Shadows were controlling you. Almost completely. Soon, they were going to destroy your soul and control Kemet by themselves again like they have been doing the past years with the other Pharaohs. They would spread the darkness and destruction all over Kemet, and meaningless killing would spread over again. But then I told you about the Angel of Light... It was needed. Then they became scared, just with the thought of such creature. They slowed down, took more time to control you. Or else, when such Angel came, it would free you and then you would make sure to destroy them completely. And then it happened. You met your light, and he freed you. But the shadows are not destroyed. The Puzzle is still around, and if it is not restored, the shadows cannot be controlled. And they want revenge, Pharaoh. They want your soul... and your light's."
"But how... How can I do anything when Yugi is away from me...? I have no power against them... not anymore..." he said, looking at the ground. Marik growled.
"That is why I am here! You need to get up, Pharaoh! Or else the Shadows will get what they want, and they will get it soon!" Marik reasoned. Yami closed his eyes.
"What must I do? What are you here to tell me?" Yami asked, and Marik sighed.
"Your light is near. Get it before the shadows do." he said, and Yami stood up at the same instant.
"Yugi is coming back?!" he questioned, and Marik closed his eyes.
"You shall see, Pharaoh." He said, and walked towards the doors. Then he stopped. "My sister had foreseen this way before I did. But the shock she had when she saw the vision was such that she could only breath out the words 'Shadows in our future' before she collapsed, dead. I really hope you can do what is right. Or else, we are all dead, just like her." he said, before walking away.
Yami, Seto and Kris just stared at the door for a few minutes, trying to take in everything Marik had just said. Kris wondered about how they could be so blind to let the Shadows control all of them all this time and not do anything about it, and Seto wondered about what could happen to Kemet if Yami failed, and what they could do. Yami only thought about what he said about his light.
"Your light is near. Get it before the shadows do."
'Is Yugi... really coming back to me?' he thought, but couldn't wonder any longer. A guard suddenly ran by and stopped when he spotted the priests in Yami's room through the open door.
"My Pharaoh! A catastrophe happened!" he said, and they all turned their attentions to him.
"What catastrophe?" Seto asked, and Kris looked at Yami to see if he wanted them to take care of the thing. But he seemed too interested, and she decided against kicking the guard out.
"A village was completely destroyed! Everybody died, and the houses were burnt down or blown up in some way! And the whole ground was covered in ashes!" he said, startling the three.
"But- is there any sign of who did it? Or why?" Seto inquired, and the guard turned to him.
"We found someone. It is a young boy. He is unharmed, and maybe he knows who did it. He is the only survivor, but he does not look like he was from there." He said, and Yami's eyes widened.
'Could... could it be?!' he thought, and without thinking twice, ran out of the room before anyone could stop him. He was really weak, both physically and mentally, but just at the thought of seeing Yugi again... Just at the thought of feeling him in his arms again... It was so tempting. And Yami was so hopeful. 'It has to be him! Has to be!'
~ But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night ~
Yami ran so quickly that he almost fell several times, and by the time he reached the Throne Room, his legs hurt like there was no tomorrow. He stopped to gain his breath for mere seconds before running to the front of the room, before the throne.
"Where is he?!" he questioned out loud, and many guards looked at each other before two guards brought someone forward. His heart was beating so fast against his chest that he could swear it would come out of his mouth at any moment.
And then he saw him. The guards left him and he sat down on the floor, and rubbed his eyes, another hand clenching the front of his robes tightly. The multi-colored crown that adorned his head was the same. The color of the skin too. Too pale for a normal Egyptian. He lifted his head a little, looking at the red carpet before him, but Yami could not see his face yet. Only his soft golden bangs.
Upon hearing footsteps and seeing someone was before him, he finally looked up. Yami widened his eyes.
Two beautiful dark violet orbs. Such color was close to the color of wine, and the eyes were more clouded and glassy than the normal lavender ones Yami was used to.
'It... can't be...' Yami thought, and at that exact moment their gazes met. The boy widened his eyes, and his mouth hanged open. 'It... it is not him...' Yami held his breath, and his eyes lost focus for a few seconds. 'It is not him... It's not Yugi!' he felt weak. He sensed he would faint.
The boy only looked up at him, mouth moving in a way that it seemed like he wanted to speak, but couldn't. And for the few seconds Yami didn't breathe, he didn't speak.
Until...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
The boy screamed loudly and held his head in pain, eyes closing shut tightly. He rocked himself back and forth in a futile attempt to calm down, and panted, before screaming again, only this time not so loud. Everyone around was startled, surprised and confused.
Yami could only stare at him.
'His... eyes...' he thought, as he watched the boy rocking back and forth and whimpering, his hands placed on his ears as if someone else was screaming other than himself. 'His... pupils...'
"Stop..." he spoke in a soft childish voice. "Stop screaming... Stop stop stop...!!" he kept saying, before screaming again. Yami then knelt before him and grabbed his shoulders.
"STOP!!" he yelled and the boy took his hands away from his ears and stopped his acts, just looking up at Yami. Both were panting but went back at breathing normally in a matter of seconds, as their heart beatings too. "It was them... wasn't it? Why you?" he asked, and tears fell down the boys' cheeks.
Yami's eyes widened.
"I'm sorry, but I... I have no choice!" He said, crying too. His chest was starting to disappear. "I'm... sorry... so sorry..."
"It was not me, Pharaoh... I-I did not do it, I swear to the gods..." he sobbed. "But they forced me... They yelled at me, and they keep doing it... I-I cannot control it, my Pharaoh, I cannot! Please, I beg you, forgive me... But it was not me... Please understand... I am sorry..." he breathed, voice so low and soft Yami was finding it difficult to hear.
"The shadows... they yell at you...? You can hear them...?" Yami inquired, but he already knew the answers. The boy clenched his robes again and bent over, lowering his head and nodding.
"I am sorry..." he said and Yami, still kneeling before him, touched his shoulder. The boy flinched but did not look up, knowing it was forbidden to look at the Pharaoh's face and since he had already done it, he wasn't willing on continuing his mistake.
"I believe in your words." He said, and the boy froze. Slowly, he looked up at the Pharaoh, and looked into his eyes. They were the only things in him that didn't seem faint. They shone like rubies.
Yami's blood ran cold. It seemed an illusion... They were so alike and yet different in some ways. It was difficult for the Pharaoh to look at the boy without showing an expression of pain.
"Thank you, my Pharaoh..." the boy said, and Yami stood up. The boy stayed on the floor before Yami offered him his hand. The boy hesitantly took it but just when he was on his feet he fainted against the Pharaoh. Yami was surprised and almost let the boy fall to the floor before he caught him. He supported him for a while before he himself fainted.
Kris and Seto ran immediately towards the two, and various guards too. They touched their skins and noticed how both were cold. Seto raised an eyebrow and Kris frowned.
"Bring the Pharaoh to his chambers." Kris ordered, standing up.
"What about the boy?" one of the guards asked. Seto and Kris were silent for a moment before answering.
"To mistress Ellian's chambers." Kris claimed, and the guards hesitated but nodded, not stupid to deny a priest's order.
~ Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree ~
Screams. Explosions. Darkness.
"No escape... He has forsaken us... he... forsaken US... Soul.... OURS!! OURS!!"
The ground covered in black. The houses destroyed by balls of magic. People killed by monsters. Screams. Deaths. Tears. Cries.
That is what Yami saw, before he bolted up on his bed, panting and sweating from his nightmare. He looked around and found himself in his room. His head hurt but, other than that, he felt only tired. He wanted to sleep. He brought his hand to his forehead and wiped some of the sweat away, then ran his fingers through his hair. Lastly, he placed his hands on his eyes and leaned over on the bed, head bent down.
'Marik is right... I need to get up. I need to recover.' He thought to himself, before he heard the sound of the doors opening. He looked up and saw Kris walking in with Jono. The slave brought a tray with food.
"Eat." Was all she said as Jono placed the tray before Yami, and the Pharaoh blinked. Kris nodded to Jono, who bowed before leaving. Then she turned to Yami with a frown. "You must eat. You have no idea how weak you are, and that's because you haven't got out of that bed in days. No food, no rest to your mind. You're both exhausted physically and mentally, Yami. Eat before you fall really ill." She said, and Yami stared at the tray before nodding.
Kris blinked. Yami had actually listened to her? Without a comment, or a complaint? Without saying anything? He just.... obeyed her? She was really impressed. Never had she thought it would be that easy.
Maybe it had to do with that boy...
"Seto is taking care of the boy... Is he...?" she began, but Yami shook his head, before swallowing his food and answering.
"No." He said. Kris widened her eyes but didn't say anything else for a few minutes, afraid of what reaction Yami could have. The Pharaoh had believed vehemently in the idea that Yugi could be back, and that was what he had been trying to convince himself for days. That he would come back. But instead, he sees someone just like him, but not him... It must have hurt. A lot.
"What happened.... with that boy, Yami?" she asked. Yami stopped eating and turned to her.
"He was controlled by the Shadows. Just like Teana." He said, and saw as the priestess' eyes widened again. He didn't wait for her to say anything, and looked away. "They made him destroy the village, killing everybody with Shadow monsters and destroyed the houses with Shadow Powers. All because they were mad at me." he said, then went silent.
"How could they control him?" Kris asked. Yami shook his head.
"I don't know." Yami answered, and Kris nodded. He finished his meal and then Kris took the tray and gave it to a slave outside. When she came back, she saw Yami standing up.
"Are you sure of what you're doing?" she asked, and Yami nodded.
"I want to see him. Where is he?" he asked.
"Ellian's room." Kris answered calmly and Yami froze for a moment, just looking at the floor. Then he headed for the door and walked out, taking his time to get to Ellian's room.
Kris only stared at his retreating form, before following him.
~~
Seto and the boy looked up when they heard the sound of the door opening, and the High Priest blinked a little upon seeing Yami. The Pharaoh only stared at him.
"I want to speak with him." He said, and Seto nodded. He walked out of the room, leaving the two alone.
"How is he?" Kris asked, once he was outside.
"He's not so bad that we had to call someone better, but I can simply say that he was only exhausted, both physically and mentally." He said, and Kris chuckled.
"That sounds just like the Pharaoh!" She pointed, and Seto chuckled too.
"Yes but the boy is a lot weaker than Yami. And I mean a lot weaker." He said, and Kris raised an eyebrow.
"Why? You think he has a disease or something?" she asked, and Seto shook his head.
"No, but just by observing his pale skin and how thin he is clearly tells that he is not completely healthy." Seto pointed. "But... I wonder what really happened to him." He said, bowing his head and closing his eyes.
"One thing I know." Kris began, looking very serious. "The Shadows can control him." She said and Seto looked up surprise.
Meanwhile, inside the room, the Pharaoh sat down next to the boy on the bed, and looked at his face. The boy did not meet his eyes though, as he kept staring at the sheets. Obviously he continued to treat Yami by his title, but that was not what Yami wanted. He wanted the boy to talk to him, to look at him. To demonstrate to him what differentiated him from Yugi before Yami got mad.
"What is your name?" Yami asked, and the boy just played with his fingers and with the sheet.
"Hikari." He said, and Yami smiled. At least in this he had peace. There was a big difference between the boy's name and Yugi's.
"What happened in your village, Hikari?" he continued, and Hikari was about to answer when Yami said "Look at me, Hikari.". Hikari hesitated, but deciding that he couldn't disobey an order from the Pharaoh, he looked up.
But this time Yami was the one who looked away.
"That wasn't my village..." Hikari said, looking down again. He felt like he was making the Pharaoh uncomfortable, and he didn't like that idea. "I ran away from my village a long time ago. The village I destroyed was the one I was living for the time being. The Shadows went mad and controlled me, destroying everything in sight. And I couldn't control them." He closed his eyes shut, regret and guilt consuming him. But he didn't cry. Yami looked at him.
"How can they control you?" Yami asked, and Hikari hugged himself.
"It has been in my family for many years. It is like a reverse Shadow Power. Instead of we having some power using Shadows' powers, the Shadows use us. We are like their vessel. We are completely weak and vulnerable to them. And we can do nothing but fall into submission." He said, and looked up. Yami looked away.
Their gazes never met. And Hikari noticed that.
"Are you alright, my Pharaoh?" he asked, and Yami turned to him. And finally they looked into each other's eyes. Yami was speechless for a second.
"It's just that... you remind me too much of someone..." he said, and Hikari raised his eyebrows. Then he touched Yami's hand.
"I am sorry..." he withdrew his hand immediately when Yami looked down. "I think I must be punished now..." he said, and Yami tilted his head to the side in confusion.
"You won't be punished. You are innocent in all this." He said, and Hikari blinked.
"But I... I must not stay here, my Pharaoh... I am a danger to everybody..." he held his head. "At any moment the Shadows can torment me and I can be controlled again... I do not want to hurt anybody. And..." he looked up at Yami's face. "Whenever I am around you, my Pharaoh, they keep talking. They are angry and they shout, yell inside my head... I do not want to hurt you, my Pharaoh... I really do not..." he said, his soft voice getting lower and lower. Yami smiled.
"Do not worry, Hikari... You shall not hurt me. I know you won't." Yami said. Hikari looked at him with unsure and hopeful eyes.
~ Rest in me and I'll comfort you ~
"I must go, my Pharaoh..." he said, and made an attempt at getting out of the bed. Yami was frozen a moment before he came back from his shock.
"NO!" he said, at the same moment Hikari lost his balance and fell. Yami acted quickly and managed to get the boy before he met the floor, but they both ended up sitting on the floor. Hikari looked up at his face while the Pharaoh held his arms.
"Why... do you wish me to stay, my Pharaoh...?" he breathed, and Yami's eyes fell slightly.
"I... don't.... really know..." he said in a whisper, and it was half-truth. He knew that half of the reason that he wanted Hikari to stay was that he wanted to protect him from the Shadows. If he stayed beside him... Maybe he could try to do anything to avoid Hikari from being hurt. But also...
Whenever he looked at Hikari, he looked closer to Yugi. And that was something he just couldn't help.
Yami came back from his thoughts when he felt something brush his cheek. He looked down and noticed Hikari had his fingers touching the Pharaoh's skin, and he realized, for the first time, that he had been crying.
"Is it because... I look like someone you knew?" Hikari asked, his childish voice only above a whisper. Yami felt that Hikari differentiated from Yugi in many aspects. He seemed weaker, calmer than him... He didn't seem as determinate or cheerful as Yugi. His voice was softer and quieter, and he sounded like he was an isolated person.
But now, looking at his eyes, Yami's mind kept playing tricks on him. Because all he saw was Yugi, smiling at him like he had done before, that day they went outside the palace, his eyes shining in the morning sun. Although all Hikari did was look up at him with a wondering expression, and his dark violet eyes were clouded instead of glowing.
"You are..." Yami was saying, as he stood up and guided both of them back to the bed. "...just like him.... and I... I can't help but..." Yami couldn't continue, as he broke down. Hikari was scared, not knowing what to do. He leaned over and touched the Pharaoh's shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him.
He was caught out of guard when Yami embraced him, hiding his face on his shoulder. The taller one was almost on top of him on the bed, and since Hikari was a lot weaker than him and his conditions didn't help either, all he could do was let the Pharaoh cry. Let him cry.
Neither paid attention to time, as they were lost in their own wonders, and like that they fell asleep.
~ I have lived and I died for you ~
Kris smiled, for the first time in a long while, as she as soundless as possible opened the door that lead to Ellian's room and found the Pharaoh and the boy, asleep in each other's arms. She frowned then, when she thought that maybe Yami could have pushed himself on the other one, and really hoped that he wouldn't take him for Yugi. She wasn't sure if he was going to be accepted by the boy, when the one he really loved was another one. No. She knew he wasn't going to be accepted.
Yami loved Yugi, not Hikari. And if, if Hikari would come to accept Yami, maybe he would end up hurt.
She tried to close the door as silently as before, and wandered down the corridor. Walking through many other hallways, she finally stepped on the Throne Room, seeing Seto talking to a guard with a frown on his face. She raised an eyebrow and walked towards him, wondering what else could happen that day.
"Something wrong, Seto?" she asked, approaching them. Seto immediately turned to her.
"Someone invaded the Treasure's Chambers." He said. Kris widened her eyes.
"Who?!" she asked, and Seto sighed.
"We don't know." He said, and she blinked.
"How come?" she inquired, crossing her arms. Seto sighed again.
"Nobody was found there. But somebody was there, that's for sure." He said, and Kris raised an eyebrow.
"Was something stolen?" she asked, and Seto shook his head.
"The guards don't have permission to get inside the Treasure Chambers. Only the Chamber Guardians would know, and they didn't go in there yet." He said.
~~
He slowly opened his eyes only to close them again tightly, not accustomed to the sudden bright light around. After a few more minutes, he decided to open them again, but yet he blinked a few times before taking a good look around. Not recognizing the place right away, he sat up, and winced.
'Why does every bone in my body hurt?' he asked himself, lying back down on the soft bed. He closed his eyes to try and remember, and when he opened them again, someone appeared in the entrance.
"Oh! You're finally awake!" the person said, and walked over to him. His eyes were already wide, but the person didn't notice it at first, only smiling. "You were so badly hurt I was afraid you were never going to wake up!" the person then sat down next to him, giggling. Finally, the person noticed the blank stare he was receiving. He blinked. "Something wrong? You look concerned about something. How do you feel?" he asked.
"..." he was speechless for a moment, trying to focus on what he was going to say. "Where... am I? What happened?" he asked, and the other looked at him apologetically.
"I found you out cold inside the Pharaoh's Treasure Chambers. Don't you remember? Do you remember anything at all?" he asked, but the other looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.
"Why did you help me?" he asked, and the other blushed, then looked down.
"I... I may not know what you were doing there... But... When I found you, you were so hurt and... Your face was tearstained... I... I just couldn't leave you there..." he tried to answer, but paused many times. The other looked at him in wonder.
'How did he get inside the Treasure Chambers?' he thought, and the boy looked up when he heard some noises outside.
"My father... He works for the Pharaoh, he is one of the Guardians of the Treasure Chambers. He doesn't know you're here, and he doesn't know I found you." He explained, and the other's eyes shone with realization.
'Son of a guardian, huh?' he smirked while the other wasn't looking. 'This can't get any better...' then the other turned to him brightly again.
"But how do you feel? Can you remember anything?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "Do you remember your name?"
"My name's Bakura. But... that's all I can remember..." he lied, and laid back on the bed. "And my body hurts like a whole tomb fell on me..." he continued, and the other's face was apologetic again.
"Well, that's pretty much what happened..." he said, giggling. "My name's Tenshi, by the way. You'll have to stand me all the while you're here, because I'm the only one who knows about you." He said, and smiled. Bakura smiled too.
'Oh dear Ryou... We are just meant to be together.' He thought, as he observed the other. The hair, the eyes, the skin... They were so alike. 'But now, the old Bakura is dead... And I'll live just for you.' He smirked in his head. 'But maybe... Someday...' he thought about the treasures in the Treasure Chambers. The ones that, someday, he'd get.
But... wait...
"Where's... my Ring?" Bakura asked, and sat up quickly, only to wince again. Tenshi quickly pushed him down.
"Ring? What Ring?" Tenshi asked, tilting his head to the side. Bakura sat up again, and grabbed him by the collar.
"My pendant... where is it?!" he snarled, and Tenshi whimpered. Quickly, Bakura released him. "Sorry... it's just... that... I remember it... and it seemed important to me..." he quickly added, and Tenshi sighed, both in relief and to regain his breath.
"It's in there." Tenshi pointed to a drawer, and opened it too. Then, he took the Ring out. Bakura sighed in relief. Tenshi smiled. "So you remember it? Can't you remember anything else?" he asked, and Bakura shook his head. Still sitting up, he reached for the Ring on Tenshi's hand, and tried to hold the item, at the same time touching Tenshi's skin. He leaned over, his face mere inches away from Tenshi's. The other boy blushed at the close proximity.
"I remember your face... Your eyes..." he brushed some of Tenshi's bangs away. "I don't know how... But maybe... We have met before? Somehow?" he purred, and Tenshi blushed deeper.
"Err...I don't remember seeing you before but... maybe..." he breathed out, looking straight into Bakura's deep brown eyes. "We... never know about the past... right?" he asked, and Bakura nodded, touching Tenshi's pale skin.
'How can an Egyptian be so pale? He must not be from here... It looks like he has never seen the sun before!' Bakura thought, but he wasn't complaining. That was another one of the things that made Ryou and Tenshi more alike. But Tenshi's hair looked slight darker than Ryou's, being a light gray color, and his eyes were lighter.
Yet Bakura thought he could never be more perfect. He felt that he was made to live for the other. Because he had been saved, in a way, two times by him already. He owned his life twice to him. And the attraction he had for sweet Ryou seemed to grow for shy Tenshi.
"Why don't you keep it?" he asked, and grabbed the Ring from Tenshi, placing it around his neck. Tenshi gaped.
"B-but you said it was i-important to you! I can't accept it!" he said, and Bakura smiled.
"You are too now. I owe my life to you, and you're risking yourself for me. There is no other way that I can repay you..." he said in a low voice, making Tenshi blush again.
"T-thank you..." he muttered, and glanced down at the Ring. He blinked. "This... looks like one of the special items of the Pharaoh..." he mused, shifting a little in his position, so that his back was more to Bakura. The Tomb Robber leaned over and practically hugged the boy from behind, and whispered his answer in his ear.
"It is a magic item indeed..." he said, and touched the Ring while wrapping his arms around the other's waist. "But you don't have to worry... I will show you how it works..."
"Isn't it dangerous?" he asked, and Bakura smirked.
"Just trust me." he said, and Tenshi nodded. Neither moved from the close gesture, and Tenshi just got back from his daydreams when he heard more voices from outside. He jumped a little and turned his head to Bakura.
"Please lay down. You have to rest and it'll be more difficult for anyone to see you while you lie there." He said, and Bakura nodded, lying back down on the bed. Tenshi placed a thin blanked around him. "Have a nice rest." He said, then walked away.
'Yes... a very nice rest... full of dreams about you and Ryou...' he thought, then winced when he moved a little. He cursed. 'Stupid bones... Why do you have to torture me and haunt my dreams, huh??'
~ Abide in me and I vow to you ~
Slowly the sun began to hide for his own rest and the moon took over his reign in the sky. The air became colder, and the wind got stronger. It was another chilly night at Kemet.
Hikari woke up a few hours later, feeling slight better but sensing something wrong still. It took him a few seconds to realize that that sensation was because Yami was sleeping on his chest. His eyes got closed and he caressed the Pharaoh's hair while he tried to comprehend him and at the same time ignore the voices yelling in his head.
'Why... why do they get so agitated whenever I'm around the Pharaoh?' he thought, gazing at the nothingness. 'And what happened that made him... so sad? Maybe that other person... died...' he widened his eyes. 'Wait... now that I remember... I heard that his sister died too! And if both of them died...' his eyes fell in sadness. 'I... understand his pain...' he rested his hand on top of the Pharaoh's head, and pulled him slightly closer to his chest.
He didn't know that his act made the Pharaoh move up his chest, and he nuzzled him. Slowly, the Pharaoh's eyes started to open, and Hikari held his breath when he looked up at him. Yami looked still half-asleep.
"Yugi...?" he asked, and Hikari smiled apologetically.
"Hikari, my Pharaoh." he said. Yami's eyes widened and he quickly backed away from him. Hikari said nothing, as he could completely understand how Yami could be feeling. He lost someone and then he found someone just like the other one... It was like lying to himself. His mind still refused to believe the other was gone, and grasped to the idea that Hikari was him. That he was not gone.
"Who is Yugi?" Hikari asked, and Yami looked up, surprised. Probably he had not been expecting that question to come out of Hikari's mouth, and the boy quickly looked down, blushing in embarrassment. "If... I may ask you, my Pharaoh..."
"Hikari...?" Yami began, and the boy looked up. "Please, call me Yami." He asked silently, and Hikari smiled.
"If you want... Yami." He said, and a pained expression passed through Yami's face. Hikari frowned. "Though... I do not think it will be good for you, my Pharaoh... Do I not make you remember about Yugi...?" he asked, and Yami quickly shook his head and looked at him pleadingly.
"Please, call me Yami. I just... want you... to call me for my name. Yugi did too." he looked down at the sheets. "And I liked it when he did. It seemed like he looked right through my royal mask and saw who I really was." He said, and Hikari looked at him sadly.
He could see right through Yami's royal mask too. Although he saw the Pharaoh as someone powerful, important and imponent, he could see Yami. Someone sad, weak and hurt.
"If you want me... Yami." He said, and Yami smiled faintly at him. "But please... tell me about Yugi. Who was he?" he asked softly, and Yami folded his hands.
"Yugi... was the one I loved." He claimed, and Hikari's eyes widened. He stopped breathing. Gods, there was no doubt about why Yami was acting the way he did. "He... left me..." he said, but shook his head quickly. "No! Not like that, because he... didn't want to leave me... He just had to..." he said, and Hikari touched his hands. He looked up at him, to see the boy looking at him with sympathetic eyes.
"Maybe he'll come back, someday?" he asked, but Yami shook his head.
"Yugi can't... he can't come back... That's what everybody says and..." he contemplated the sheets. "I know he won't... I can feel it..." he said, and Hikari sighed.
"I am sorry... Maybe I should really leave..." he said, and Yami looked up at him quickly.
"No!!" he exclaimed, and clasped Hikari's hand. "Please, don't go! You can't leave me too... You know how it is to have the shadows in your mind, how it is to have them haunting you. Yugi freed me. But now that I'm alone... I feel like they're trying to get me again!" tears started to build in Yami's eyes. "Please, Hikari... I don't want to be alone... And I don't want to leave you alone... Promise me... Promise me you won't leave me?" he asked, and the startled Hikari opened his mouth several times, as if he was trying to mouth out the words without much success.
~ I will never forsake you ~
"I promise." He said at last, and Yami leaned over to hug him. The boy never thought the Pharaoh would feel like that towards him, and there was nothing he could do. Because he understood him. He understood how it was, to have someone beside you to scare the shadows away. But then, when you are alone, they just come after you. And there is nothing you can do to scare them back away. You feel alone in the world, and the only things existent beside you are the shadows. And they want to consume you.
Hikari circled his arms around Yami's shoulders, holding him close too.
"I promise you, Yami. I won't leave you alone." He said, and Yami nodded against his chest.
"Do you know... what an Angel is?" Yami asked, and Hikari blinked. He shook his head, and was about to voice out his answer before Yami continued. "Yugi was one. I saw as his eyes shone in the sun. How his smile brightened everything around." Yami shook his head in denial. "I loved him... More than I thought I did... I realized how important he was when he had to leave. But now... now all I want to do is forget him! Because I can't bear to remember the day he left, it hurts... so much... And it keeps playing over and over again in my head!"
Hikari closed his eyes. Never had he thought he would be in the palace, holding and comforting the Pharaoh. The man seemed to be consumed in pain. He never thought that he would meet someone that was so alike him. Someone who had a dark past, and who was haunted by the shadows.
Yami backed away from Hikari, and looked into his eyes. He reached out his hand and brushed Hikari's cheek, and his eyes narrowed as he seemed to lose himself in thought.
"Help me... Forget him..." he said, and leaned over, brushing his lips against Hikari's. The boy's eyes widened and he froze, for a moment doing nothing. Yami held him closer and tried to deepen the kiss, but after a few seconds, Hikari came out of his shock.
"No..." he said in Yami's mouth, and pushed the other. Yami confusedly let go of him, and the boy pushed him away further. "Don't." Hikari continued, and backed away from Yami too.
The Pharaoh was heartbroken.
~ They'll never see
I'll never be ~
"Why...?" he asked, and Hikari looked up, his eyes showing pain.
"Don't try to forget Yugi by replacing him by me. You don't love me, Yami, you love him. You'll be only lying to yourself. I may look like him, but I am not him. I am not. And I will never be." He looked away. "And I'm sorry... But I don't like you, my Pharaoh, like he probably did."
Yami stood up, and refused to look at Hikari. He was right, and Yami knew it. But he couldn't help it... Hikari and Yugi were almost the same. Almost. But his mind still tried to confuse him and refused to comprehend that they were not the same... He could not have either of them.
"I will leave you now." He said, and headed for the door. He was about to leave, when Hikari said something.
"You are not alone, Yami." He said, trying to comfort the confused Pharaoh. "I won't leave you... And I understand how you feel-"
"You don't." he said, and Hikari fell silent. "No one does." And with that, Yami left, heading for his own chambers.
Jono watched as Yami left his sister's room, his head bent down and tears falling down his cheeks. He did not know what happened inside that room, and he did not know how Yami was. All he knew was that he hoped Yami would get over all his problems soon.
'Seto said he has an emotion sickness... Maybe that boy will help him. All he has to do is wait.' He thought, and walked towards his master's room. It was already night. 'Hikari... Why is that name so familiar...?' Jono shook his head, trying to ignore the thought. That was not the time. All he had to do at the moment was pray to the Gods that his Pharaoh would recover soon.
'Maybe Yugi... Maybe we are meant to be together. No matter the distance. The gods have a distorted sense of humor, parting us apart like this. But I know... I know that someday I will meet you again. And then... Then I will know. I will know if my love is enough.' Yami thought, and entered his chambers, crawling under the sheets and resting.
'I can't help you...' Hikari thought sadly, closing his eyes and burying his face on his pillow.
They all hoped their fate would be merciful.
~ I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me ~
~* owari *~
Lily: *whistles* I am glad to inform you guys that this chapter is longer than the last chapter of "Wings of ruby and amethyst". Also, I hope you guys are happy with it ^^UU This fic just leave you guys more and more curious about what is going to happen in the sequel, doesn't it? Sorry!! *bows down* But since you were so curious about what happed to Yami after Yugi left... That is it. He went intro depression, then met Hikari, and continued loving Yugi. But now that Hikari is in scene, will that love last? *smirks* Only the future and the authoress know! OH, and Bakura got himself another love too... I guess he'll finally be able to love someone. ^_^ Even the Tomb Robber will be happy!! But now... What about Yugi? What about Elle, Ryou and Chris? What about the reincarnations of Yami and the others, in their time? Wait for "Wings of dark and light", then, you'll know everything!
Please, review this story and prove you are a faithful reader.
Until the next time, jaa ne~!
~ Lily Maxwell
PS: If any phrase of the song confused you as to what it has to do with the story, please contact me at shinigami_lily@hotmail.com. I'll answer it to you, gladly. ^_^
PPS: THIS WAS FRIGGIN' LONG!! Just so you guys know, this took me a WEEK to write... No wonder my whole update schedule was ruined. It was all this fic's fault XD I have the new chapters for "Dark Mates", "X", "Fade to Black", "One winged angel" and "Missing" planned though... Wait for next week I WILL update them... *mumbles something about a bad habit of writing long stuff*
