Part 2: Winnie the Drew & the Beer Truck

Narrator: It was a quiet day in the Sleep & Fuck Motel, our cast's current location, as they prepare for the new cast convention. In Room 13, our hero Drew sits calmly as morning sets in.

(We see Drew passed out on a bed)

Drew: (sleeping) ZZZZZZ… what's with all the white??…ZZZZ

(Alarm rings)

Drew: (Screaming) It wasn't me the corpse was there to begin with!!! (looks around)

What the.. Oh ya, the convention. Well, back to sleep again. (lays down)

Narrator: Ahem.

Drew: What?

Narrator: Your not gonna sleep through the whole chapter are you?

Drew: Maybe.. Well, I am thirsty.. And I think 72 hours is long enough for a nap. (gets up and begins stretching)

Narrator: What the hell are you doin?

Drew: Stretching. I need to be in shape to drink. (bends down to touch toes, a rip is heard.) I gotta get a bigger pair of pants. (walks over to a case of 24) Beer beer beer… AHH!!! All empties (collapses in a fetal position)

(The sound of a bottle opening is heard. Drew turns to the narrator in anger)

Drew: BEER!! Give it to me! (Jumps and attacks the narrator) (From off screen) Budweiser?? I'd rather drink piss! (walks onscreen) There's gotta be beer somewhere (looks out window, sees beer truck across the street) Too simple…but still good. I'll need some help though.

(5mins later, outside room 7. Drew knocks on door)

Cabbit: (from inside) Hold up (opens door) What's up?

Drew: You. Me. Rob. Beer. Truck.

Cabbit: Huh? What?

Drew: Just get a coat and follow me.

(We see Drew and Cabbit outside with a box)

Cabbit: Isn't this something Nickger would help you with?

Drew: Normally yes, but I heard moaning from his room and decided not to knock.

Cabbit: Good call… what's in the box?

Drew: Do-It yourself truck robbing kit.

Cabbit: Where the hell would you get something like that?

Drew: Mail away. Now let's get to work.

(Drew sneaks behind the truck as Cabbit walks up to the drivers)

Cabbit: Hey, nice day eh?

Driver 1: Yup, lazy day.

Driver 2: Nothin to do but wait for the store to open.

Cabbit: Yup (looks as Drew enters the truck) So how much booze you got in there?

Driver 1: (looking in rearview mirror) Not much after that fat beat gets through… wait a sec.. Get him!

(Both drivers run to the back)

Cabbit: Bail out Drew!!

(Drew and Cabbit run away as the drivers chase them. They reach the motel and jump through Neyore's window)

Neyore: What the hell?

Drew: Sorry dude, being chased, need exit.

Neyore: It's cool

Cabbit: Yo Drew, I'm heading back to my room.

Drew: Laters (turns to Neyore) Yo donkey boy, got any booze?

Neyore: (pointing to some 6-packs) I may have a few.

Drew: most excellent,

***20 Mins later***

Drew: Well, that quenched my thirst. We thank you very much.

Neyore: No prob.. Why are you heading toward the window?

Drew: Forgot something outside. (Jumps out window, gets stuck) Well this is just grand.

(10 mins later. The cast are outside Neyore's window where Drew's upper half is)

Janga: Another fine mess you've gotten yourself into.

Drew: Shut up

Stiglet: How you gonna get out?

Drew: Dunno, that's why you're all here.

Ropher: I could blow up the motel. (cast stares at him) You got a better idea?

Nickger: Don't worry Drew, we'll get you out. Just give us sometime.

(Cast walks a few feet away)

Nickger: Allright, any ideas (looks as Ropher opens mouth) not involving explosives.

Cabbit: We'll think on it.

Vickitty: Ya, I mean one of us will think of something.

(2 Hours Later. The cast has re-grouped in Nickger's room)

Stiglet: So, any bright ideas folks?

Jalicat: Well, if he could loose all that beer weight he gained he'd be fine.

Soo: I got an idea. (Cast looks at her)

(We cut to outside Neyore's room. The cast is with Drew)

Drew: You wanna what?

Nickger: Give you an enema.

Drew: Why?

Vickitty: We figure you'll piss out all that beer weight you got.

Drew: Who's idea was this?

Soo: Mine. It made sense at the time.

Drew: Sense or not, nothing is getting shoved up my ass.

Ropher: I could always blow up the motel.

Drew: (wide-eyed) Do it.

(We cut to inside the room. Nickger and Soo are inside. They are behind Drew, whose pants are too his ankles and who has a bedpan beneath him.)

Nickger: let's do this, I don't want to see Drew's ass more then I have too

Drew: (from outside) I heard that.

(Knock on door. Nickger opens it. It's the Censors)

Censors: (speaking as one, like the Borg) We cannot allow a scene like this to transpire. Please move forward in the story or you will be sued.

Soo: Fine, ruin our fun.

(Scene moves forward. We see Drew outside cringing. Pissing sound is heard. Drew's face relaxes as he feels the weight leave him.)

(5 mins later)

Fowul: How long can he keep this up?

Ropher: Well, he drank a hell of a lot. Give him time.

(Pissing sounds stops, then starts again, then stops.)

Drew: Ok, I'm done.. Now get me out!

(Cast pulls of Drew's arms. They pull so hard that he shoots out of the window and into the side of the unmanned beer truck. Cast runs over as Drew crawls into the truck)

Janga: You Allright?

Drew: I'll be fine. (we see Drew inside surrounded by beer cases) I'll be just fine (opens a case)

Narrator: And so, with his thirst ready to be quenched, we leave Drew in his private heaven… At least till the drivers come back.

(Camera pulls back from the truck as the drivers return)

Driver 2: It's that bear again! Get him!

Drew: Shit not again!!!

The End (Of Part 2)