Tuxedos
by : epiphanies
Once again...to Liebling *bows*
"-and in such splendor, I really do adore him-"
"Can you please stop-"
"-he really is the light in my darkness, the blessed bat of my cave-"
"Pansy-"
"-my glistening spider-web in the moonlight-"
"PANSY!"
"Boy, you're rude! What's wrong?"
"You never shut up!"
"I shut up plenty, Draco Malfoy. How else would you get a word in?"
"Being half-ways human, even you have to pause for a breath sometimes."
"Well, I never!"
"Oh, don't act so surprised."
"Of course. You've said worse to me."
"Indeed I have, and will continue to do so, because it's the only thing that stops your prattling about-"
"-he's lovely!"
"Bloody Blaise!"
"You make me sad, Draco."
"Why's that?"
"Who's going to be our best man?"
"Certainly not ruddy Blaise."
"Of course not, he's the groom, you sod! But who will be the best man if you won't?"
"I don't know. Crabbe and Goyle look like vapid, Skele-Grow fed penguins in tuxedos."
"So you wouldn't?"
"I look prettier than you and Blaise put together in a tuxedo."
"Well, I won't be wearing a tuxedo."
"Oh, yeah? What'll you be wearing, then?"
"A lovely silk gown."
"Bet it won't be white."
"You scoundrel!"
"It's not my fault that you parade around like a scarlet woman already-"
"I do not! I'm only eleven, Draco, not really even a woman yet!"
"Well, I'm a man."
"There's a spider in your hair."
"WHAT!?"
"Anybody who can scream like that isn't quite a man yet."
"Oh, you just wait, Parkinson."
"Obviously."
"Why do you never shut up?"
"Habit. To annoy you."
"Obviously."
"So, did you get anything for Valentines Day?"
"Somebody pretty sent me chocolate."
"You mum."
"Do you have any better?"
"No. Blaise hasn't even said hello today."
"Is the wedding put off?"
"Only for about ten years. But it's ok. I mean, Valentines Day isn't over yet. He still has-"
"Forty five minutes."
"Exactly. Loads of time."
"He'll do better next year. Even if it isn't the same 'he'."
"What do you mean?"
"Pansy, you like somebody different every week. It'll either be someone different, or just him in the fourth cycle of your desires."
"Funny."
"I don't agree."
"Sod off."
"You hungry?"
"Why?"
"Don't look so suspicious!"
"Why?"
"I was going to offer you some chocolate. You know. From the pretty girl."
"Your mum is a kick cook."
"I know."
"You going to marry somebody like her?"
"Hopefully."
"I wish you luck."
"Thanks."
"And Draco?"
"What?
"If Blaise ever gets, you know, boring or anything, like after a few years of marriage...I swear I'll run away with you."
"It's a plan."
"Night, Draco."
"Night, Pansy."
