Disclaimer: Don't own Pippin, Merry, or any of the Orcs.

Note: Hey hey! Not much to say really, so enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!

3 hours had passed. Pippin still sat at the campfire speaking to the Orcs. Merry's snoring body lay draped over one of the logs that Pippin and the Orcs were sitting on.

Lugdush rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Now let me get this straight. Say another Orc is standing right in front of me. And I have to get passed him. You're saying that I don't rip out his spine and strangle him with it?"

Pippin rubbed his temples exasperatedly, "No, no, NO! You simply say 'Excuse me' and brush right on past him. No punching, or kicking, or blood letting, or CANNABALISM!" Pippin looks sharply at Grishnakh.

Grishnakh picked his teeth with a bone. "He was giving me sass!"

Pippin lost his patience, "YOU WERE PULLING HIS HAIR!"

"IT HADN'T BEEN WASHED FOR DAYS!"

Pippin goggled at him. "You. every-.. Smell. Unbearable! WHY?!"

Ugluk sneered at Pippin, "Why?! Why do you care so much about our manners?"

Pippin looked at him indignantly, "I have to spend a lot of time with you brutes and it would help me personally if you all simply behaved a bit better! Besides, I'm the teacher, it's my JOB to care."

Ugluk gave Pippin a blank look.

Pippin pipes up again, "Also, you're all dumb as stumps. You guys need some leadership!"

"Hey, that's not nice! I should make a necklace from your teeth and watch you try to gum through your food!" cried Lugdush as he scribbled "2+2=5" in the dust at his feet.

Pippin saw the demented math and shook his head. They had a lot more work to do.