Chapter 10: Regrets
Disclaimer: Don't own Shadow Hearts. I do own a copy of the soundtrack which is killer!
WARNING! FIVE ALARM FIRE! (Got your attention, yes?) ADULT SITUATIONS ... yadda yadda yadda. (Only because if I didn't warn ya, FF.net would kill me!)
Margarete awoke to darkness and a heavy weight on her chest. She opened eyes that could see nothing in the darkness. She tried moving and managed to get one hand up to her chest to find another body lying on top of her, its muscular frame covering her and the head lying on her chest. A touch on the shoulder told her that it had to be Yuri, but how he had gotten here...? A further exploration garnered her sticky fingers as her hand ran into a river of blood flowing from the back of his head and down his shoulders to even more blood and a wooden beam crossing his lower back, pinning them both down.
'Ah shit kid. What did you do?' she breathed as she drew back her hand and tried to squeeze her fingers between them to reach the coat pocket at her hip. She had stuffed medicines into the pocket before entering the warehouse, if she could reach them Yuri would have a fighting chance and so would she.
Margarete finally got her fingers into the pocket of Yuri's trench coat; the belt he had used to cinch it to her thin waist was narrow but it had prevented her getting to the pocket with ease, however she managed to slip her fingers into the pocket and pull out whatever they came to - a packet of seeds had come open and she hoped and prayed it was the right kind as she put a pinch of the seeds into Yuri's mouth, shoving them past his teeth and as far down his throat as she could reach. He didn't react; he wasn't breathing.
"Don't you die on me you son of a bitch," she growled and snagged another pinch of seeds pushing them between his lips. "Don't you leave me to explain to Alice what a fucked up mess I made of things!" She waited for some reaction, any reaction and when she didn't get one she grabbed his shoulder and shook him, tears beginning to streak down her grimy face. "Yuri..."
Alice was screaming. Alice was screaming and he was standing in the Graveyard, his hands stuffed into the belts around his waist and he was dead. Why else would he be here if he hadn't finally bought it? Yuri stood at the Gates and listened to the outside world as it screamed and screeched and howled past. Usually he ignored the noises coming from the world when he was here, the sights and sounds of the Graveyard being enough to capture his attention, especially since he could be attacked by any roving soul. But now the sounds captivated him; the world, his world was beyond the Gate and the Gate was closed. How the hell was he going to get out of this mess?
With an inelegant shrug he turned back to the Graveyard and the waiting stones; each of the grave markers stood taller than his 5'8" and the symbols were glowing. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing, but if he were dead, wouldn't the Fusion Souls go back to their Graves? Down the path to his right was the Mausoleum and the four floating Masks; he had defeated them last year, taking back his life and Alice's soul, but they still floated like idiotic sentries. The Mausoleum doors, huge bronze encrusted things, stood open. That was unusual, but if he were dead ... And beyond that was the Gate to his memories, his island of peace in this hellish place. That Gate was closed as well.
"Well, I guess I fucked up royally this time," he muttered. "What now?"
He kicked at the ground and walked down the path toward the Mausoleum and the waiting Masks.
"I swear if they say a word I'm gonna ..."
The four Masks hung like silent sentinels, their faces frozen in the same attitude of surprise that they had worn the last time he was here in the Graveyard. That had been last year when he had faced off against them and defeated Atman. He looked back at the Darkness gravestone and the small white marker next to it. Atman's grave. It had almost been Alice's. He shuddered before turning back to the masks.
"Well, nothing to say?" he goaded them but they remained silent, floating enigmas. "Not going to rub it in, eh? Too bad!"
He pushed past them and climbed the last step to the Mausoleum door. Inside had awaited Atman, Death in its ugliest form. He remembered the misshapen face, it's hideous out-of-place eyes and mouth and the horrid stench that came from it when he defeated it; death smelled sweeter. Yuri looked up at the doors, rimed in faded bronze and twined about with bare roots hanging from above. The Mausoleum was built of old and cracked stone, ancient trees overshadowed it in another time and their gnarled and grizzly branches and roots had become a part of the façade. He hesitated at the entrance, fascinated by the miasma of age and death that surrounded the place. Is that what he felt inside, really? He had never given it thought; avoided thinking as much as possible most times. He only did so now to avoid entering the Mausoleum. He really didn't want to enter Death's doorway. He wanted to live; to love and to fight. He stood on the top step and stared into the dark recesses of the Mausoleum and reflected on his short life. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you die, he thought.
"Man I am fucked up if I need to think about what I done with myself," he growled. "I shoulda been with Alice; making love, making a family. But no! I gotta be the fucking hero and save London from those damn bugs! And then I pull Maggie's pretty ass from the fire," he paused remembering Margarete; her lovely face, voluptuous body, vibrant soul. Yeah, he liked her. She was fun to be with; had been a good friend when he hadn't expected it of her. So why was he thinking of her right now?
"Oh yeah, I was saving her from blowin' herself to hell," he laughed. "I shoulda fucked her at least once before I got killed though."
He shrugged and laughed, turning to face the Graveyard. 'Shoulda done a lot of things before I bought it," he said to himself. "Shoulda made love to Alice; shoulda gone back to China and chased out those damn Japanese." He laughed at himself. "Lot o' shoulda's ... too late now I guess." He looked back at the Mausoleum door and shook his head. "No, not yet. Not going in there yet," he said and stepped down to the verge leading to the Gate of Self to his left. It too was dark and locked but he leaned on the gate, looking beyond it to the dim sunset still frozen in time.
"Like me, stuck in one place forever," he said with a quirk to his lip. "I didn't wanna grow up as a kid, wanted dad to be there, and then I didn't wanna remember being a kid; too much pain. Wanted to die when my folks died; wanted to forget myself in the Graveyard, bury myself so I couldn't turn into a monster. Wanted to run away from the pain of livin'." Leaning on the Gate he turned a brief glance toward the exit way. "Is that what I'm doin' now? Running away? How bad did I get hurt, anyway?"
He remembered fighting in the sewer, sending searing flames to char and burn the guards. He remembered when the flames of his magic receded; Yuri was standing on the smoking ground, the burnt wooden platform mere ash at his feet. The skeleton of the cargo lift glowed with the heat of his fire, but several dark shapes were using it to climb up to the surface. With a growl Yuri released his fusion and sprinted across the space leaping for the lower rungs. His hands grasped the metal and he screamed in agony as the near molten metal scorched his hands. Dropping back he stifled a further cry of pain as he grabbed another fusion soul, one he knew could bring him to the surface above.
Darkness took his soul as he summoned the fusion, darkness and magic and not a little hatred for the creatures that he was fighting. His body became wrapped in shadows and his visage was a reflection of the darkness that was his own soul. Death Emperor swept open his leathery wings and launched his thin frame into the hot air, a few strong downbeats carrying him up the access shaft and into the conflagration that Forron's fire had made of the upper world. The dark shapes of spiders still climbed out of the sewers and were scuttling across the clearing to a nearby warehouse. He heard shouts from men beyond the buildings as he swooped over the rooftop and scanned the grounds below.
Soldiers were formed into troops and were surrounding the buildings; another was set to fight the fires burning up the walls of the next warehouse. Yuri/Death Emperor flicked one wing and dove into the shadows between warehouses and landed on the roof. He bent down and with taloned claws, ripped up the metal panels that made up the roof, revealing darkness eclipsed with orangey flames as the fire burned within now as well. Below he saw the scuttling spiders in their hordes and the almost blinding white that was Alice as she walked up the isles of cases. His black eyes squinted against her soul's energy; even unused, she glowed with an ethereal holiness that hurt his eyes. Just beyond the exorcist was a puddle of blue that Yuri knew was Margarete. She was raising something, preparing to throw.
An explosion followed Margarete's toss and Yuri knew she was packing explosives; the flames burning up the nearby warehouse behind him reminded him that not all the cases were harmless and he mentally cursed as he saw her waving some sort of tube. In another moment another explosion rendered the roof he was standing on shattered fragments and he beat his wings to keep from falling down into the hell that the crazy spy had made. But then that same roof began to crumble and break and fall straight for the beautiful spy and Yuri dove for her, his roar of warning lost amidst the exploding munitions that chose to ignite behind him. The last thing he saw was a surprised Margarete as he slammed into her as the roof crashed down on top of him.
Yuri sighed. "Well, unless she's got a Talisman of Mercy, I'm a dead duck," Yuri said and sat on the verge next to the darkness gravestone.
The usual susurrus of ghosts and dead souls seemed to fade as Yuri stayed on the verge, refusing to enter the Mausoleum. He kicked at the ground with his boots and scuffed at the crumbling stonework that made up the verge. When he next looked up he saw that the fence line of the Graveyard was fading into the approaching foggy night. The air, usually close and cloying, was growing chill and the flickering lights over the Gate had dimmed and gone out. The darkness of nightfall had dimmed the frozen sunset beyond the Gate of Self which now faded into the murky mist. Yuri scowled, wondering what was happening to the Graveyard.
He rose to his feet and approached the Mausoleum, the only place still sharp in his eyes. The open doors beckoned him and the floating masks remained silent in death's vigil. He paused at the bottom step and looked up at the root infested roof. He shook his head.
"No. I don't want to go in there," he stated again. "I may be dead right now, but that doesn't mean it's permanent. They can help me; Margarete or Alice. They wouldn't let me die and not help ... would they?" He felt a sudden frisson at the realization that neither lady might be able to help him. He grasped at the last straw of hope and turned to run back to the Gate, slamming into its ethereal iron and calling out.
"Maggie! Alice! Come on girls! Get me th' hell out of here!"
Alice had fallen to her knees on the hard cold ground outside the warehouse. She had watched the inferno that had once been the warehouse and knew that Margarete had to be dead. Furthermore, she felt nothing for Yuri. Her sixth sense was numb; she felt nothing at all. She had not felt this way when he had been swallowed body and soul by the Seraphic Radiance in Shanghai; she had not felt this way at all. She had known instinctively that he yet lived; but not this time. She bent over, her hands covering her face as wet tears flowed from her reluctant eyes and her head touched her knees as sobs wracked her slim body. Her ears were deafened with the explosions and she did not hear the police lieutenant as he tried to get her attention; she did not notice the fire engines screaming to the Queenithe Docks to put out the fire. She paid little heed as a strong hand lifted her up by the elbow and guided her to a car and set her in the backseat. She let the tears flow and the sobs tear from her throat as grief threatened to overwhelm her. What would she do without Yuri?
A little while later the police lieutenant, Carter, offered her a cup of hot tea, and Alice roused from her grief to take the offered drink. She stared at the dark liquid in the bent metal cup and wondered why the British always thought tea was the ultimate answer to everything. She took a tentative sip of the strong brew and then set it down on the floorboard. Looking up she watched as fire fighters swarmed over the warehouses sending arcs of water over those buildings not yet engaged in flame to protect them and their contents. If Margarete had known that the buildings held munitions ... but it was pointless to speculate now; Margarete was dead. Yuri was dead. Alice's heart lurched in her chest and she felt the constrictions of further tears threatening to well up in already blood-shot eyes.
'I never even got to say goodbye,' she thought. She reached into her pocket, pulling out her book; she had returned it without thinking and now needed to open its pristine pages once again; not to heal, but to pray. Pray for Margarete, and pray for Yuri. Yuri would need the prayers to help him get across, she knew that. He was probably standing at death's door cursing and screaming that he wasn't supposed to go. The image brought a smile to her lips if not her eyes and she closed those same eyes to begin her prayers.
Yuri's fists went through the iron when he tried hitting the gate again, but he himself could not pass. He looked askance at the gate as it slowly faded to grey then white and then nothing as the surrounding air seemed to turn chill and then fade to emptiness. He backed away, nearly falling down the steps to the pathway. He looked around the Graveyard and noticed the fencing was all fading away; the Gate to his memories too had become translucent and faded away to nothing as he watched. With a gulp he wondered what was happening now and then sprinted for the stairs to the Mausoleum; these were solid enough with the grass still grey-green and the stone stairs still solid. The doors were open, beckoning still but Yuri refused to enter, putting his back to the door and leaning against its solidity as the Graveyard slowly vanished. A frisson threatened to send his teeth chattering but he gritted his jaw and refused to give in to his fear, instead resting his head against the door, eyes closed. He breathed in slowly, trying to calm the rampant pounding in his chest and mentally laughed at himself when he thought of a ghost with a heartbeat. He turned amber eyes to the dark doorway and thought about Alice, a nervous prayer passing his quivering lips as he waited for Death's arrival.
"I don't wanna die," he said softly. "I can't die, not now; not when things were finally going good." He looked out once more at the fading Graveyard. "Are you going away 'cause I'm dead, I wonder?" he spoke aloud. Licking his lips he watched as the grey crept up the lower steps toward the floating masks. "Am I afraid to go on? Me, afraid of death? I'm a Harmonixer for god's sake," he chided himself. "Death is my companion, my lover. It feeds my fusions and taints my soul; how can I be afraid?"
He looked again into the seductive darkness of the Mausoleum and sighed. 'All the things I didn't get done; that's what keeps me here I think,' he thought. 'I wish I had made love to Alice – just once. I wish I could tell her how much she means to me; how grateful I am that she saved me in Bistritz. She was so warm and caring when no one else gave a damn about me. I feel like I failed her; not finishing what I started. Will she forgive me I wonder?' With a sigh he stood and watched the Graveyard slowly fade, the foggy greyness touching the Grail Mask as it floated to his left.
"Well, at least I won't have to deal with you bastards again," he said, his voice nearly a whisper, and then he turned and crossed the threshold to the Mausoleum.
Margarete pushed and pulled and shoved until she finally was free of Yuri's pinning body. She barely had room to move in the small space between collapsed girders and once free of Yuri's confining presence she searched her pockets, pulling out packets and small envelopes, searching for anything to help her; she wished she had a torch for light since each package was marked, but without light she would have to rely on smell and her tongue to tell her which medication she had found. The first packets were Thera and Mana and these she set aside, knowing he'd need them if she could bring him around. Time was not on her side right now, and finding the resuscitation medications was primary in her mind. She knew she had told her contact to pack some but had he done so? She pulled out another packet and ripped open the seal; the tantalizing aromas of frankincense and cinnamon and cloves filled her nose and she sneezed. With two grimy fingers she pulled out the paper pack that held the knotted herbs that made up the Talisman of Mercy. With the medicine in one hand, she reached over to Yuri's mouth and stuffed it in, pushing it past his tongue and as far down his throat as she could. She then prayed it was not too late.
Yuri stepped into the enclosing darkness that was the Mausoleum and heard the doors creak shut.
"Well, this is it then," he muttered. He stepped up to the platform where he and Alice had battled Atman and waited. The walls, lost in darkness, slowly began to glow an eerie blue; Yuri rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the hairs prickle beneath his fingers. "Well, now what?" he wondered aloud.
The blue light flickered like fire up the walls and Yuri watched in fascination, the light filling his eyes. He didn't notice when the doors completely closed behind him and he didn't notice when a figure stepped out of the darkness and stood next to him. The light dancing on the walls was almost hypnotic.
"Pretty, huh?" the other said and Yuri jumped away, hands suddenly coming up in a defensive position.
"Who the hell?" he shouted, and then looked again and realized that he was looking at himself. He stood straight, putting his hands down at his side and frowned. "Fox Face," he growled.
The other Yuri wore a quirky smile. "Not really." He gestured at Yuri and then the interior of the Mausoleum. "Nice place you have here. The inside of your mind is such a delight to behold."
"Shut up!" Yuri shouted.
The other shrugged and walked around the eerily glowing room, pausing to turn back to Yuri when he was finished with his circuit.
"Your choices have been interesting; self-centered, egotistical. Do you ever do anything without being goaded?" he asked.
"What th' fuck do you know of it? We settled this already, Fox Face. Why the hell are you here now?"
"We settled? As I recall, you beat sense into yourself; a temporary respite. You were just having regrets weren't you? Regretting all the wonderfully selfish things you didn't do; again, I ask do you ever do anything without being goaded? Are you so selfish?"
Yuri frowned. "You're not Fox Face, are you?"
"I told you that. You're seeing me the way you expect to see me."
Yuri's frown deepened. He blinked several times and then shrugged inelegantly. "Whatever. What do you want?"
The other Yuri mirrored the shrug and gestured at the harmonixer. "I already have it; I have you. You need merely to realize it. Recognize your situation and then ..." he shrugged again. "Deal with it."
Yuri stood silent, contemplating his twin; from the scruffy hair to the marred boots, he was identical. It had to be Fox Face, yet it wasn't. This one did not wear the mask. But that didn't mean it wasn't wearing one. Yuri felt his lips pull back in a smirk.
'Fox Face was my God of Death; he wore my father's face until I was swallowed by Seraphic. Then he wore my face. But he was still Death to me, until I realized what he truly was: my other half, that part of my soul that was fused with the demons. But this ... this is not my soul. This is something else.'
"Who are you?" he asked.
The other Yuri laughed. "You're beginning to realize. You are seeing me the way you expected to see me. This is not my face."
"Okay," Yuri said, his frown growing to encompass his entire face. "So who are you really? And don' waste my time with riddles. Can't stand 'em!"
"You never did have patience," the other Yuri stated flatly. "And until you embrace what is happening to you, you will not understand. You will not move on."
Yuri kicked at the ground, frustration beginning to climb up from his toes. 'If he doesn't start giving me answers...' "What is that supposed to mean!" he shouted.
The other Yuri sighed, and with a gesture, changed shape. Now he stood as a woman, light brown hair piled up in a bun on top of her head, her light brown eyes shining, and her face of delicate features wearing an amused expression.
"Is this better perhaps?" she asked, her voice accented.
Yuri ground his teeth. "NO! You may look like my mother, but you are NOT her!"
The Anne Hyuga look alike laughed softly. "And why not? Is she not dead?"
Yuri felt the hurt inside him well up to grip his heart; she was dead after all. Nothing he was able to do would ever change that. His beloved mother dwelt with the worms, her lovely body defiled and destroyed by the monsters sent to kill them. Yuri's head slowly dropped, bleak despair filling his amber eyes.
"So what, this is my judgement? Is that it? All my failures comin' to put me in my place?" he asked softly, the previous anger draining from him, leaving him feeling empty.
"If that is how you chose to interpret this," the Anne look alike answered. "But it needn't be that way," she said softly.
Yuri sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Then how is it s'pposed to be? I don't understand."
"Of course," Anne said.
Yuri shook his head. "I'm not good with riddles; I never get 'em. Ask Alice, she knows! Maggie too. They both laugh at me."
"This riddle is easy; you are simply trying too hard. Relax with it, Yuri," Anne said and approached the puzzled harmonixer.
"Look, I know I died. That's why I'm here, 'cause I died. But did I at least save Margarete?" he looked up at Anne and his gaze was captured by her eyes.
"She is alive," Anne answered.
"So, then what? Am I supposed to do something else? I'm dead for chrisakes!"
Anne laughed, a soft sound that made Yuri smile as well.
"Well, that was stupid," Yuri said with a chuckle.
"Your wisdom is deeper than you know," Anne said and stepped up to Yuri, opening her arms to offer an embrace. Without thinking Yuri stepped into the embrace, taking Anne into his own arms and hugging her, breathing the scent of her hair, kissing the top of her head.
"I miss you," he said softly, his voice barely a breath.
"All your dreams, all your heart-felt emotions, are as nothing Yuri," Anne said softly. "Do you begin to understand?"
Yuri stiffened, holding his mother in his arms, protecting her, cherishing her; it was what he had wanted more than anything else. And it was a lie; an illusion. He pulled back and stared at the woman before him.
"You are not my mother. Why are you doing this to me?" he asked.
Anne Hyuga smiled ever so slightly before turning her back to him. "I am not doing anything, Yuri. This is you. This is what you have made of yourself; illusions and lies and dreams."
Yuri shook his head. "No, that's not so. Sure, I wish I had my mum; but I know she's dead. An' I know dad is dead too, so don't try an' trick me."
Anne Hyuga laughed, turning once more to face her son. "Tricks? Is that what you think this is, Yuri? Some kind of trick? You are dead; that is no trick. You need to face that fact, face the reality that is you," she gestured at the Mausoleum interior. "The bleak nothingness that is you," she said and the dim light that had played up and down the Mausoleum's walls slowly faded to black, leaving Yuri standing in utter darkness.
"You need to decide, Harmonixer; heaven or hell. You decide, like you always have," the voice of Fox Face came from the darkness. "But only the right answer will get you anywhere."
Yuri kicked out at the darkness. "What the hell is that supposed to mean! Godamnit! Will you stop fuckin' with me?" There was no answer in the darkness, only a trickle of laughter that faded away to silence. "Damn fucking trickster!" Yuri cursed and looked around the dark Mausoleum.
'Heaven or Hell; right, like I believe in that shit!' he thought. But one hand came up and rubbed the back of his neck, the hairs bristling at his nape. 'I'm scared,' he thought. 'I been scared since I got here.' He walked toward the doors, closed and sealed against him, and leaned against their melanous surface. 'So I am afraid to die?' he asked himself. 'I left a lot undone, yeah, but so? It happens when ya die,' he thought and then laughed, a hollow sound in the Mausoleum. 'So maybe it's not death I'm afraid of then – Alice… Alice will go to heaven; yeah she's good, an' righteous, an' a bastard like me ... well, hell would be too good.'
Depression warred with him, and he wished it was all over. Just let the darkness swallow him up.
"I'm already dead; why can't you just let me go..."
A breath of air moved around the Mausoleum, touching his face and fluttering his hair. And out of that inky air, Yuri began to hear voices, his voice and Alice's and Fox Face. He was hearing once again the scene in the Graveyard when Alice sacrificed her soul for him.
Alice's voice was soft, coaxing as she spoke to Yuri. He was on the ground, dirt in his face and mouth, blood trickling down his chin. Fox Face had just punched him down a second time and the pain was real. He heard her voice speaking, one hand's fingers gently touching his arm.
"Yuri, don't give up. Don't grieve. Because ... you're still alive!"
'-The hell?' he wondered and stood up straight, listening to the words.
"Don't you die on me you son of a bitch ... explain to Alice ... Yuri..."
"That's Maggie," he said and looked around the Mausoleum, but the dark remained.
"I never got to say goodbye ... Blessed angels guide my beloved to your light ..."
'-What? Alice? An' she's prayin' for me?'
"Come on kid, breathe; breathe... heart beat, come on... live damn you...!"
"Margarete again? What's going on?"
"Recognize your situation... deal with it... heaven or hell..."
"Fox Face you tricky bastard!" Yuri was clenching his fists and turning to the doors, began pounding on them. "Open up ya sonofabitch! I ain't dead yet!"
Margarete had rolled Yuri onto his back as best she could in the limited space and was pounding one fist on his bare chest.
"Breathe damn it! Breathe! Get that heart pumping, kiddo! I know you can do it!" Tears ran clean streaks down her face and she kept up a litany of encouragement until she was too tired and laid her head on his chest, collapsing into tearful sobs.
"...ger off..." a faint voice said above her and Margarete reached up to Yuri's bloody face and felt the breath coming from his parted lips; his chest rose slowly as he began to breathe and her hands trembled when she reached down for the packets of Thera seeds and offered a pinch to the awakening harmonixer.
"Yuri... don't ever do that again or I'll – I swear I'll kill you," she said, her quavering voice a mixture of tears and relieved laughter. Yuri was too busy chewing Thera seeds to answer but he managed a weak nod and Margarete sighed. "Thank goodness."
Half an hour later, Yuri was sitting up and hunched over in the small cavern of debris that remained of the warehouse. He had pushed a bit of the detritus back from the floor and scrambled around looking for an exit, but there was none. They were stuck. Margarete had kept up a mindless banter until she realized Yuri was not paying attention, and then sat in a sulk; it never occurred to her he couldn't see her pout. Finally he sighed and pulled himself over to sit next to the spy.
"Yer awfully quiet, Maggie," he said with a grin.
"You're ignoring me, why should I talk to you?" she said with a pout.
"Ah, but I'm payin' attention now; an' you look cute with your lips all pouty like that."
Margarete looked up and surveyed the darkness. "It's dark Yuri. I can't see you; you can't see me. How the hell are we going to get out of here anyway?"
Yuri sighed and rotated his head on his shoulders, cracking the stiff joints. "I'm thinkin' about that," he responded.
Margarete sighed. "You had me worried for a while there, Yuri," she said.
"I know."
"I thought you were gone for good."
"Well you know me, I'm hard to kill," he said with a chuckle.
Margarete thought for a moment, and then laughed softly. "Que ne me tue pas me fait plus fort."
"What?"
"What doesn't kill me ... but what now?"
Yuri shrugged. "- sup keta?" he offered.
Margarete huffed, and then laughed. "Cat soup? You sick bastard!"
Yuri laughed too and then sighed. "Ya know, if feels good ta laugh, even if it is at stupid shit." Yuri was silent a moment, then added, "I like your laugh."
"Well, I'm glad you like something about me, kiddo," Margarete answered.
"I like a lot of things 'bout you, Margarete. I jus' don't always say so."
Margarete sat quietly, wondering what was going through his mind. If it was true that death and near death experiences could bring about personal revelations, then what had Yuri realized?
Yuri tilted his head, watching Margarete in the dark. "You got quiet. Did I say somethin' wrong?"
"No – oh no," Margarete shook her head, her ponytail falling down and sending reddish tendrils around her face. "I was just thinking. I do that once in a while."
Yuri chuckled. "I'm glad; you can do it for me then."
"I always do," Margarete said with a chuckle. "Let's get outta here, huh sonny boy?"
Yuri nodded, smiling to himself. He climbed to his knees, and directed Margarete to get behind him, squeezing her body between his back and the rubble.
"I'm gonna fuse and it's gonna get tight in here," he informed her, and then drew on the fury residing in his soul.
'Tight doesn't describe it,' Margarete thought with a grunt as Inferno suddenly took up ninety percent of the space with his massive body. "What are you going to do? Burn our way out?"
Yuri's growled response was followed up by a ball of fire directed just past their feet, and Margarete's unremitting scream of terror. She grabbed his heavily muscled leg and held on as the fire burned through the floor and the fusion jumped down into the darkness. When Yuri released the fusion he was grinning like a fool and had to shake Margarete loose.
"That was fun," he said and Margarete promptly punched him, the flickering of the remaining fires showing not only how irked she was but a great deal of her cleavage. "Getting all tingly, Maggie?" he asked and chuckled deeply.
"I still owe you a death contract, sonny boy. Don't push your luck," but Margarete was trying to swallow her grin when she realized she had behaved more like a frightened female than a world class spy. Margarete pulled the remains of Yuri's trench coat closer and cinched the belt another notch before asking, "Where to now?"
"Back down th' sewer; I'll take you to the entrance by the river, but I gotta go on an' find the queen."
"Queen? You mean there will be more of these bastards?"
Yuri huffed as he took the spy's hand and guided her back down the old sewer to the fork leading outside.
"Not if I do my job. I got a lot of 'em, but not the egg layer. Gotta get her too," he said.
Yuri led them through the dark recesses of the sewer back to the sluice, holding Margarete's hand and wishing it was more than that. He shook his head, trying to erase the thought; his wiseass comment about being tingly, meant as a joke, was truer than he wanted to admit. The excitement of the last few hours, the danger, and the death, had his body responding in ways that would be embarrassing if he were standing in the daylight. And Margarete's presence, an already enticing piece of womanhood, wasn't helping matters.
They reached the entrance to the sluice in a few minutes and Margarete let go of Yuri's guiding hand. "I know the way from here, Yuri," she said and then pulled out the remaining medicine packets. "Here, take these and –" she put the packets into his hands then reached up and gave the fusionist a hug. Yuri pocketed the medicines then bent down to kiss her briefly but lingered as their lips locked and her hug became a tight embrace. When he pulled away Margarete laughed softly.
"Yeah, tingly," she said.
Yuri wore an expression of surprise and confusion that even the darkness could not hide; he didn't think, he didn't reason. He just reacted. The next heartbeat found them both in a tight embrace, mouths scouring face and neck as they met in the heat of passion. Margarete didn't think about what she was doing, she went with the fire that had been ignited by the excitement, fear, and Yuri's brief kiss. For his part, Yuri was burning.
The next few minutes were a blur as Yuri painted Margarete's face with kisses before stopping at her lips, her mouth open and receptive to his tongue's questing thrusts. His hands, ever fast in combat, were no less swift in removing the tattered trench coat and cinch belt while Margarete's deft fingers undid the buttons of Yuri's leather trousers. The darkness of the sewer and the cold ground were no deterrent as they came together, their bodies melding in a passion neither would have expected. Margarete invited Yuri's exploration and entry and Yuri obliged with a driving desire that left them both panting in the cool air of the sewer.
Margarete lay with a smile on her lips, her eyes unfocused. "Too bad it's dark," she said huskily.
Yuri chuckled. "I can see in th' dark just fine," he said and kissed one exposed and ample breast before rolling off of her and pulling up his trousers.
Margarete chuckled and then rose, pulling Yuri's trench coat around her. "Yuri …"
"Maggie," Yuri interrupted her, taking her into his arms and holding her firmly, her face resting against his bare chest. "This never happened, yes?" he said softly.
Margarete felt the warmth of his chest against her cheek and the steady rise and fall of his breathing was like a bellows against her ear. She had wanted this to happen; had wanted it since Fengtian, how could he ask her to deny it now? Oh, of course: for her. For Alice he would deny himself anything and everything; even the satisfaction of human touch. Margarete thought that he didn't deserve an ice maiden like Alice. Then she bit her tongue.
'How can I think that? I know how much they love each other; I've always known it. I'm – I'm jealous!' "All right, Yuri," she said.
Yuri sighed and bent down to plant a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for that; and for the other. I gotta go. Tell Alice I'm all right, yes?"
Margarete nodded even as she pulled back from his embrace. "All right," and listened as the young harmonixer turned away and went back up the sewer passage. "Be careful Yuri," she called. "Please."
