Leek Soup for the Swordsman's Soul: The Amended Version

Introduction by Sinisterbug

This story was one of my first major works. I wrote this in eighth grade, yet I still find the story relevant to my feelings and opinions about One Piece and, for being written by an eighth grader, I'd say it was moderately well written. However, it took a long time to write, so there are some chapters that are better than others, and some decidedly worse, and since I find myself with enough time and inclination to edit and re-work this story (though you'll find no major plot changes), I find no reason why I shouldn't. Many authors do not believe in going back to old works and re-writing them. To them, it is an important record of their early and, most often, less skilled works. It's important to be able to look back so that one can see the progress made. I can see their point, but I can also see mine. The truth is, I don't care for other people to know my progress. ;; I have the original copy of the story and should I want to cause myself endless amounts of embarrassment, I can go back and read it of my own accord. What I want is to improve my writing and stories so that a wider audience can be touched by them. That sounds a lot like saying, "I'm going to change this so that more people will like it, thus I'll get more reviews." However, and don't get me wrong, I do love and appreciate all the kindness and warmth and even criticism I get from reviews, but what's important to me is that I can cause my audience to emote and relate or be touched by, in some way, this story of mine. Of course, the setting is a non existent world of pirates, but just because it isn't what we encounter every day doesn't mean we can't gain something from it. Anyone who watches One Piece and does not learn some moral value or isn't touched by the strong bond of friendship and loyalty throughout the series is a sad individual indeed. What I hope to do is to accomplish even a small crumble of what Eichiro Oda does on a weekly basis, and that's touch people's lives.

And write man smut. (That's what I want to do, that's not what Eichiro Oda does on a weekly basis. That I know of. I wish.)

So, hoping not to offend anyone about the small changes I'm about to make (such as excessive use of Japanese, commas, exclamation marks, fluff, OOC, sap, etc), please, if you've already read Leek Soup, do so again. Maybe, since it's a little easier to bear, it will be that much easier to be touched in some significant way. Please read on with an open mind.

//Zoro A internal dialogue

Zoro B internal dialogue//

Chapter One: Recognizing the Other Self

How long? How long were they required to sail on this blasted ship?!

Not to say that Roroana Zoro was growing in the least bit weary of his companions. No, in fact, he found Usopp's constant explosions, Nami's repetitious complaining, and Luffy's maniacal laughter quite comforting in the face of the love cook's sexual escapades.

To say that Sanji was taking a toll on the pirate hunter was an understatement. Everyday it was the same.

"Nami-swan! Your breakfast is ready!" Turning his adoring eyes from Nami when they would immediately turn to daggers he would say, "Yo pigs! Grubs up!"

He would serve Nami first at every meal, and only offer Nami a snack during the day. The rest of the time he was doting on Nami, offering his assistance, his livelihood, and life to the woman. If he wasn't doing that, he was complimenting her on everything from her looks to her charms.

//Or rather, lack thereof.// Zoro thought bitterly. //What's so great about her anyway? She's a conniving thief and a liar. I'll admit, she's strong. But she's still a woman. She's not even that cute. Sanji's a good lookin' guy. He could do better. Hell, what am I saying? I wouldn't wish him on anyone but Nami...Well, I'd almost feel sorry for her if she weren't such a bitch-//

"If who weren't such a bitch? Talking to yourself when you think no one's around again, Zoro?" Came the perpetually exaggerating voice of Usopp. But Zoro didn't have to hear how close Usopp's voice was to tell he was in his face. He could feel Usopp's ripe breath washing over his face.

Without opening his eyes, Zoro said, "Usopp. You know about inventions don't you?"

Usopp stood up and smiled. "Of course! I'm the king of-"

"Toothbrush."

"What? I'm not the king of toothbrush-"

"No. And you never will be unless you start using one. Get your septic breath away from me. Now."

"But Sanji sent me to-"

"I'm not hungry." Zoro snapped and rolled over. Usopp stomped off, muttering angrily.

//What the hell is my problem?//

"Zoro!"

Zoro flinched at the sound of his name being hollered by the angry cook. Giving up any hope of getting any sleep, Zoro abandoned his favorite nap spot and trudged to the kitchen to confront the source of noise. He was greeted by a tall, lithe, blonde holding a knife. A knife which was currently en route towards his head. Fortunately Zoro moved in time for the knife to miss its intended destination and instead hit the wall instead with a loud clang.

"What the hell do you mean you're not hungry?! You got a problem with my cooking?! To good for my food, is that it?"

Zoro stared indifferently at the enraged man in front of him.

//I'd almost take him seriously if he weren't holding that spork.//

"Nothing to say for yourself eh? You think I'd just let you get away with insulting my cooking just becau-"

Zoro growled. "Shut it, asshole. If you have to know, I'm nauseous. I'll toss whatever food you feed me if I eat right now. Piss off monkey ass!"

Sanji seemed to have completely missed the point. "So, my food makes you nauseous eh? We'll see about that." Sanji tugged the knife out of the wall and turned back to his cooking.

"No you stupid piss worm, I said-"

"Fuck off." Sanji snapped. "It's not my problem if you starve."

Zoro, lacking the energy to fight back, left.

As soon as Zoro was out of sight, Sanji turned on his heel and made for his personal food storage closet.

"Stupid jackass fucker. Shoulda told me that to begin with..."

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Luffy flew into the kitchen knocking over several chairs as he went. Following him came Nami, picking up his mess along the way.

"Luffy I swear if you break anything significant, I'm not paying for it!"

"Usopp will blow up this ship before Luffy breaks something significant." Sanji's voice said, coming from the pantry.

"My experiments are carefully executed! I-" Usopp said, poking his head through the window.

"-want to blow us all to kingdom come." Nami broke in. "Where's Zoro?"

"That jerk is sleeping on the deck. He said he's not hungry." Usopp said despondently.

"Not hungry? Ne, Sanji, do you think Zoro is sick?" Luffy said, concerned.

Sanji returned from the pantry carrying a bulb of leek and several other herb-ish looking plants. He also carried a bowl full of oranges.

"Aaaw! Is that dessert? Leek and oranges?" Luffy protested.

Sanji began setting out these ingredients on the counter, his hands working deftly, grabbing utensils and bowls and more ingredients from the cabinet. "Yes, no, and yes. I do think Marimo-kun is sick, no this is not dessert, and yes, this is leek and oranges. Only you would come to the conclusion that if someone wasn't hungry they must be sick. But this should cure whatever's ailing the stupid fucker." Sanji said, frowning.

"Heee." Luffy said, smiling at Nami. Nami winked at Luffy.

"What?" Sanji snapped.

"Nothing." They said simultaneously and began to eat.

On the deck, Zoro still could not sleep.

//Why does everything have to be such a big deal with that jackass? I'm not hungry, so what? Like anyone could justifiably insult his cooking anyway. He's just fishing for compliments. God damn he's such a stupid curly brow! Why am I even on this boat enduring this ship anyway? Because they're my friends. At least Luffy and Nami are. Usopp is...Usopp. But Sanji's just a shitty cook. Yup. That's all he is. A shitty fucking cook.// Zoro was content to leave it at that.

//The damned coolest shitty cook you've ever met though.//

//What?//
Zoro sat up and looked around to see who was talking.

//Well lets think about this rationally Zoro.//

It hit him, not like a ton of bricks, but more like a pillow to the face. Not terribly dangerous, but startling nonetheless. //Great. I've been at sea way too long. I've got voices in my head.//

//Voice. As in singular. And you've been at sea for less than a year.//

//Well that's very reassuring.// He settled back down and closed his eyes.

//Since you seem to have the time, just listen. Sure, Sanji's got his bad points. But we all do. Now lets think about his good points.//

//They don't exist.//

//He's a good fighter.//

//That's a given,
and a prerequisite to even being on this ship. Doesn't count.//

//What about that eyebrow eh? Pretty damn cool.//

//Lame. If you've got nothing better than that-//

// How about his past? Look at where he's coming from. You can relate to a tough past. He's strong, he's-//

//A damned stubborn fool. Nami's been through worse-//

//He's kind.//

Zoro snorted. //To Nami.//

//Does that mean you're jealous?//

//No. It means I'm sick of hearing him-//

//Fawn over Nami?//

//Damn right.//

//Would you rather him fawn over you?//

//Just what the hell are you saying?//

//Well it's certainly no secret...//