Chapter Four: Distant but Familiar Lands
When Zoro awoke, a severe sense of disorientation set in. To begin with, and most importantly, he had not the slightest clue where he was. But this matter didn't occur as important to him immediately, as he was feeling quite light hearted for some reason.
//That's a cool ceiling fan. Ceiling fan...ceiling fan...The Going Merry doesn't have a ceiling fan. I wonder if Usopp made it...//
//Everything
Usopp makes explodes.//
//Maybe
I should give him more credit. He defeated that Chu guy all by
himself, and he survived an encounter with Daddy the
Father.//
//Still.
What. A. Nose.//.
//You
know what's sad though? That long nosed jerk has a girlfriend and I
don't.//
//You
don't want a girlfriend.//
Zoro
sat up and looked around.
//This
isn't the Going Merry.//
It
certainly was not. Zoro found himself to be in a large, well
furnished room with exotic rugs hanging and laying all over the walls
and floors. As for himself, he was in a canopy bed with red silk
sheets and a mass of pillows at his head. To his right, a few feet
from the bed, was a large window with the curtain drawn.
//My
swords.//
Zoro
threw off the cover, locating his katana by subsequently knocking
them (as they had been placed at the foot of the bed) to the
floor.
//Only a
complete idiot would put my swords where I could reach them. IF I
were being held captive. I'm gonna take an educated guess and say
that isn't the case. Got my swords, got my...clothes?//
Well,
sort of.
Zoro found himself, not in his own clothes, but in a pair of Arabian style, loose fitting pants that cuffed about four inches above each ankle. They were a dark green color. A gold sash was tied around his waist in place of a belt. His torso was bare as were his feet. Except for his own bandana, which was still tied around his arm, he was wearing nothing else of his own.
//My
earrings.//
Zoro's
hand flew to his ear. The earrings were still in place. It was then
he noticed this was not the only jewelry he was wearing. There were
gold cuffs he had not noticed before around each wrist and one on his
right, upper arm. There were thin, gold looped ankle bracelets on his
ankles. Three for both ankles.
//Why
does this seem so familiar?//
"Zoro!"
Nami standing in the doorway wearing a similar style garb. Decked almost artistically in shear pinks and golds, her voluptuous figure was complimented and accentuated at every curve and turn. Her midriff was displayed proudly with tattoo designs that made a circumference just below her navel. She had twice the amount of jewelry on as Zoro, with small jewels bedecked about her face. She wore a shear pink veil over her head. In spite of himself, Zoro was somewhat speechless.
"Well? Aren't you going to say how beautiful I look?" Nami cooed and did a twirl.
Not that speechless.
"Where the hell am I?" Zoro demanded.
Nami frowned and rolled her eyes. "I liked you better asleep. We're on the island of Bertonneau."
//That
rings a bell...//
"You're
sick, so at Sanji's behest, we have whisked you away to the
nearest, most convenient island-"
//Say
what?//
"Hold
up, Sanji?"
Nami smiled slyly. "Yes. Sanji especially. Anyway-"
"What do you mean, especially?" Zoro interrupted.
//What
the hell is this woman getting at?//
"Well
he was afraid that it was the soup he made for you that made you
sick. As the chef, of course he felt responsible. He stayed awake to
watch over you every night since you fell asleep-"
"How long was I asleep?"
"Three days."
//Right, of course a chef is gonna feel shitty if he poisons someone. And he's nakama. If anything, we're at least nakama.//
//Excuses
excuses.//
"Nami...what
was I sick with? And… why was Sanji so worried?"
Nami looked at Zoro earnestly. She moved to the bed and sat down. Zoro sat down beside her.
"I'll answer your second question first. It's because he cares about you Zoro. He really does."
Zoro furrowed his brow and ran his hand through his hair.
"Kinda...kinda how Luffy cares about me? A-and I care about you?"
Nami sighed and put her hand on Zoro's shoulder. Zoro thought it might as well be a poisonous cobra resting by his neck.
"Zoro, have you ever had a girlfriend?"
Zoro would have tensed more, if he possibly could. "What the hell kind of question-"
"Zoro." Nami's voice was even and serious. "Just answer my question."
Zoro put his head in his hands and sighed. "No."
"Why?"
//God damn woman.//
"I never wanted one. Never needed one. Still don't."
"Still don't need one, or still don't want one?"
Zoro felt an unexpected frustration rise in his chest. There was a dam building up inside of him suddenly, causing an unbearable amount of pressure.
//I won't break. I can't. If she finds out she'll tell everyone else and that will be the end of me. I don't want to be known as a fruit- I can't, I won't-//
//But
why should you have to hide?//
//I'm
not hiding.//
//Then what are you doing? Lying?//
//No!//
//Let
it go. You shouldn't have to be punished because of who you love.
You're only putting these limiting yourself.//
//I
can't...//
//Let go.//
//...I'll fall.//
//Someone
will be there to catch you Zoro.//
"I'm
gay."
Just as he expected, the pressure flooded out of him, leaving Zoro feeling deflated and tired, aside from the already prevalent physical ailments. He looked at Nami. To his surprise, Nami's eyes were almost shining. There was the barest hint of a smile teasing at her lips. Zoro stood up suddenly.
"I shouldn't have told you. I knew you'd laugh-"
"Zoro wait. I'm not laughing! I swear! I wouldn't! Please just sit down. You're still recovering."
Zoro didn't need to sit back down. Gravity and the sheer weakness in his knees accomplished that for him.
Nami's small smile had broken into a full grin.
Zoro growled. "What?! So I'm gay! Wanna make something of it?"
Nami laughed. "Oh just calm down! I'm not laughing at you. It's just this whole situation is so ironic and I can't believe we've all been together for so long and no one's confessed!"
"What do you mean "no one"? Are we all gay now?" Zoro said sarcastically.
Nami sighed. "That's not what I meant. Can I ask you something?"
"You just did."
"Oh don't be stupid. Will you answer me honestly, no matter what I ask?"
Zoro sunk back onto the bed and sighed again. "What have I got to lose now? Go ahead, ask away."
//Just
don't ask me if I'm in love with Sanji. Please don't ask me
that.//
"Are
you top or bottom?" Nami said evenly as if she were asking about
the weather.
Zoro's body couldn't help but jerk right back up off the bed. "WHAT THE HELL? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT SHE-DEVIL?!?!"
Nami lost herself for a moment and broke into a fit of giggles very much unlike her. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. I had to. I couldn't help myself. But I was hoping your nose would start bleeding or something. Oh well. Okay, now for my real question-"
"No. No more questions." Zoro made to stand up, but Nami pulled him back down. He didn't seem to have enough strength to fight her off.
"Quit exhausting yourself Zoro dear. You'll get an ulcer."
"I'm not exhausting myself, you are. And don't call me "dear"." Zoro retorted.
"So are you in love with Sanji or what?"
Zoro felt like a bucket of freezing cold water had been dumped over his head. He could feel the color draining from his face, and as quickly as it had left, it came back, burning, and he could tell he was blushing.
Nami's jaw dropped. "You are. No way you actually ARE! I thought-"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh give it up, but your secret is safe with me. I wouldn't ever tell a soul. You can trust me. I promise."
// This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Now she knows. And I'll be damned if she doesn't go and tell him as soon as she's out of my sight. Shit. She's probably getting a sick pleasure out of knowing what Sanji will do once he finds out.//
"Oi, why are you so happy about this? It's not like that. And it's not like I'll ever tell the bastard how I feel. He'd probably kick my ass from here to the Grand Line-"
"Why do you say that?" Nami asked, suddenly serious.
Zoro coughed deliberately. "Tell me Nami, what has he been doing ever since he met you?"
"Uh… "
"Chasing your skirt. Which, I think, pretty clear implies…" He let her finish the sentence. His head was starting to pound again.
"He likes me."
"Which would imply that..." He repeated.
"He...likes women?"
"Exactly. Women. Not men. Where do I fit in that equation?"
"Um..."
"NOWHERE." Zoro said, wishing he had the energy to get up and pace the room. "So don't even think about trying to play match maker. You can't put apples and oranges together if the apple has unrequited love for the orange, who only likes bananas."
"Sanji doesn't like bananas actually. He's allergic to them. He likes apples though." Nami said matter-of-factly.
Zoro sighed. "Nami, you swore my secret was safe with you. Can I hold you to that?"
Nami looked disappointed. "Of course. I won't tell Sanji you're madly and desperately in love with him and dream about him every night and whisper his name in your sleep-"
"Woman-"
"Okay okay. But you should probably lay down. I have to go get Dr. Jax and tell him your awake."
//Jax?//
"Oh Nami, what did I have?" Zoro said as Nami headed for the door, suddenly remembering something.
Nami stopped and turned. "Um...it was called King's Evil. Dr. Jax said it was a mild case-"
"Jax? King's Evil? Are you sure?"
Nami looked perplexed. "Yeah. Oh yeah! Um, the doctor kinda acted like he knew you when Sanji carried you in-"
"Sanji carried me?"
Nami rolled her eyes. "I thought we went over this. Anyway, I asked him if he did, and he said, "Yeah, in a way." I thought he meant that maybe he'd heard of you."
"What's the name of this island again?"
"Bertonneau. Do you know this guy?"
Zoro felt numb. "Yeah...I do. In a way."
"Okay...well… I'll be right back." Nami left.
