Author's Note: This is probably the hardest chapter I have had to write so far, as I had bits and pieces that I needed to tie together, and needed to revise it many times to make a decent transition covering the weeks between the birth and Christmas. I may need to revise it yet again, as I still feel that therre is something missing.

Thank you again for reading my story. All questions, comments, and constructive criticisms are welcome if you would like to leave a review.

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling, and are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.

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Chapter 7 ~ Complicated

That afternoon, while Severus was back at Hogwarts visitng the Headmaster, Hermione finally told Remus all about the events that unfolded during his absence the previous evening. She told him of that night in the Forbidden Forest, and Severus' reactions to what he witnessed in her memories.

"He says that he forgives me, Remus. But something doesn't seem quite right. I almost feel as though he is only forgiving me for Samuel's sake."

"Hermione, this must be quite a shock to him. Not remembering..." Remus paused while he considered how to continue, "being with you. Then to suddenly find out that he is a father... I'm sure it's just going to take some time for everything to sink in. If he says that he forgives you, then you need to believe him. Severus Snape doesn't waste energy on feelings that aren't true. I know all too well what a "slimy bastard" Severus appears to be, but under the surface, he is a decent man."

"I know that he is, Remus. If I didn't realize it these last few years, knowing the great personal risks he had taken as a spy for the Order, I certainly did realize it the night of the final battle. Watching standing with the the rest of you, so fiercely protective of Harry, as though there had never been any animosity between them. It was... he was..." Hermione sighed, "beautiful."

"And then when he apparated me to safety, I think I got caught up in the fairy tale image that I had of him that night. That's why I didn't resist... why I let him." She stopped and took a deep breath, "Oh, who am I kidding? I didn't "let him", I wanted him! I may not have intended for things to turn out that way, but once he kissed me, I threw reason and logic out the window, and damned the consequences!"

Remus held tight to her hand, keeping silent as she continued, "And, it took some time, but thanks to you I've come to term with those consequences. I do hope that he can find it in himself to do the same. If he is to know his son, Remus, then he needs to forgive me... TRULY forgive me!"

They did not hear the sound of Severus' footsteps as he entered the cottage and approached Hermione's bedroom. They were both startled when they heard a deep silky voice coming from the bedroom door, "It is not I who needs to forgive you."

*****

"I threw reason and logic out the window, and damned the consequences!"

Severus paused just outside the bedroom door. He assumed that she could only be referring to her obliviating him that night.

He moved just a bit closer to catch the tail end of the conversation, and could hardly believe what he had heard her say next, "...If he is to know his son, Remus, then he needs to forgive me... TRULY forgive me."

Forgive her? After what HE had done to HER, why was she the one asking for forgiveness?

He stepped in to the room, "It is not I who needs to forgive you."

Slowly, he approached the rocking chair where Hermione was sitting, holding their son, "I am the one to blame for what happened that evening. I regret hurting you, Hermione. After our conversation last evening, you surely must realize that?"

Hermione started to protest, but Severus held up a hand to silence her as he continued, "But if it is my forgiveness that you seek, please know that I do not hold anything against you, Hermione. I do not blame you for obliviating me," he paused and quirked an eyebrow, "After what I did to you, I suppose I am lucky that you only removed my memories, and not... anything else."

He was surprised when she laughed at this. He was not joking, he would not have blamed if she had aimed another, more painful curse... elsewhere. He felt lucky to have survived her fury at all!

Remus looked back and forth between the two of them, suddenly realizing what Hermione had noticed the night before. Something was not quite right with the situation. And now, he was beginning to suspect what was wrong. It was nothing more than gross miscommunication... Severus had misinterpreted Hermione's memories. Hermione thought that he was angry at her for obliviating him, while in reality, Severus was angry at himself, believing that he had raped her.

It was so simple, yet so complicated, as neither of them were aware of what the other was thinking.

Remus resolved to make sure that they worked this out. And he knew just the person to help him achieve this goal. He excused himself, and headed back to Hogwarts, heading straight for the Headmaster's office when he arrived.

*****

Remus sat across the desk from the Headmaster, having just told him what he suspected was wrong between Hermione and Severus.

"I had similar suspiscions myself, Remus. I have known Severus for a long time, and I know that he would never force himself on anybody, especially a student, no matter what the circumstances. Yet, with only the bits and pieces of her memory that he witnessed last evening, he has likely not even considered the possibility that Hermione gave herself to him willingly."

"Headmaster, did you know... about any of this?" Remus asked.

Albus sat back and smiled knowingly, "Remus, I had suspiscions, but never knew the full circumstances of Hermione's situation."

"Miss Granger has the potential to do great things, and some of us had hoped that she would be willing to return to the school and work as an apprentice to one of the other professors. We called her in to my office, and asked her to please consider."

"When she took off in tears, those of us who were present assumed that it was because of what had happened to her parents. We had hoped that she would reconsider eventually. But then, she left the school without a word to anybody, not even Mssrs. Potter and Weasley. Hermione is not one to run away from a challenge, and I began to suspect that she was upset over much more than her parents unfortunate accident."

Remus nodded, as he had heard of her flight from the school, but never knew exactly what had traspired the night that she disappeared.

"Remus, I have eyes and ears everywhere. One afternoon, many months later, I had heard reports that Miss Granger had been spotted sharing a cup of tea with you at the Leaky Cauldron."

Remus looked guiltily at his hands, "I should have told you that I was in contact with her, Albus."

"You acted in her best interests, Remus. Out of respect for her privacy, you did what you thought was right. I would have done the same."

"Anyway, as I was saying, I heard that Miss Granger had met with you that day. Over the next few months, I had more reports of your comings and goings as the two of you passed through the Leaky Cauldron into London. The last I heard, Hermione was noticably with child."

"Surely, Albus, you didn't suspect...?"

Albus chuckled, "No, Remus. I didn't suspect that you fathered her child. I hadn't a clue to the child's parentage, and it wasn't for me to speculate. I know you, Remus, and when I heard that you were accompanying her back and forth to London, the only thing I suspected was that you were being a true friend."

"It wasn't until Severus came to me, earlier today, to inform me of the events of last evening that I began to suspect that he was the child's father. He told me that Miss Granger had given birth, but something in his face told me there was much more to the story."

"I know Severus very well, Remus. He often jumps to conclusions without having all of the pieces of the story. Unfortunately, I believe that is what has happened here. Telling him so won't do any good... we need to find a way to restore his memories, so that he can forgive himself, and move on with his new life."

*****

During the next few weeks, Severus continued to pay daily visits to his son. Things were still tense between he and Hermione. They each felt as though there was much left unsaid, yet neither could bring themselves to broach the subject. Instead, they would sit in silence, as Severus spent time bonding with Samuel.

Yet, for all that was left unsaid between Severus and Hermione, his handling of his child spoke volumes

For a man who had never been in close contact with a baby, and never planned or wanted a child of his own, Severus had stepped into the role as if he had been doing it his entire life. Hermione privately marveled over the way the man could silence the child with a few soft murmurs, or the way he would rock with him for hours, even after the child would fall asleep in his arms, or how reluctant he was to put him down when it was time to go back to the school. The only time that he did not seem to mind giving up the child was when it was time for feeding. Severus would sit back and watch pensively as Hermione nourished their son.

Madame Pomfrey also paid regular visits to the cottage to check on Samuel. The baby was steadily gaining weight, and by Christmas, the nurse had announced that, despite his size, he was as strong and healthy as he would have been if he had been born full term. It should be safe to have more visitors or take him on outings, if Hermione wished to do so. Hermione knew that this was Madam Pomfrey's way of hinting around for them to come visit the school for Christmas.

With Remus, Madame Pomfrey, and Albus now knowing about the child, Hermione and Severus decided that it was time for Severus to tell the rest of his colleagues. It was one of the few conversations that they had during Severus' latest visit.

"They need to know, Severus. And I don't want them to hear it through the gossip that will surely reach them in due time."

And so, one evening Albus called a meeting in the Staff Room. Severus and Remus sat with him as he began to tell the story.

"I think you will all be relieved to know that we have located Hermione Granger."

There were murmers of excitement before Minerva McGonagall spoke up, excitedly asking, "Where has she been? Is she alright?"

"Indeed she is, Minerva," Albus replied.

Remus interrupted, "I suppose that I should tell you that I have been in contact with Hermione since early this fall."

Minerva huffed, "And you did not see fit to inform us? You knew how concerned we were!"

It was Albus who spoke in Remus' defense, "He did not tell us out of respect for Hermione's privacy. You see, she didn't want anyone to know the reason that she was hiding."

Minerva and the rest of the staff became silent, eager to hear whatever it was that the Headmaster was about to tell them.

"When Miss Granger left us last year, she did not want anybody to know that she was with child."

There was a collective gasp among the staff, as Minerva spoke up once again, "Why did she run? Didn't she know that we would help her?"

Remus replied, "She left, Minerva, because she was afraid. Afraid of the gossip, afraid that we would think less of her, and afraid of the reaction if the child's father were to find out the truth."

Nobody took notice of Severus reaction, until he spoke up, "I am the child's father."

"You... you...?" Minerva stammered, "What did you do to the poor girl to make her afraid to tell you?"

Albus interrupted, "Minerva, it is not what you think. There are events that unfolded the night of the Final Battle that, due to an unfortunate incident afterwards, Severus has no memory of. He was not aware of Miss Granger's condition, nor that there was even a possibility that he had fathered a child."

"What...?" Minerva began.

"It is not my story to tell, Minerva. It is between Severus and Hermione. And out of respect for Hermione, I ask that you leave it at that."

"Are you in contact with Hermione now, Severus?" she asked.

"I am. And we are... working things out. She has agreed to let me be a part of her... OUR son's life."

Minerva looked torn between anger over the shock of what she had learned this evening, and affection for the man that she had grown to respect over the past decade. She and Severus, on the surface, did not seem very fond of each other. But in reality, she had grown quite fond of the man that he had become, and he had grown equally fond of the woman who treated him as a friend.

After a few moments of silence, Minerva approached Severus and embraced him, "I wish you the best of luck, Severus. And I am looking forward to meeting your son."

*****

Hermione knew that it was time to tell her old friends, also... but this was something that she could not tell Ron and Harry by owl, and they were still away for Auror training. She sent them each a message by Owl, wishing them Happy Holidays and letting them know that she had important news to tell them whenever they returned home in a few months. She only hoped that she would have the chance to tell them herself before the news began to spread through mutual contacts in the wizarding world.

One evening, a few days before Christmas, Severus was getting ready to excuse himself after his daily visit with his son, when there was a knock on the door. He was surprised when he heard Hermione's squeal of delight and he looked to the front door to see Remus standing there smiling, and holding a tall, thin Christmas tree.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione!" Remus cried jovially, "and you too, Severus."

"Oh, Remus! It's wonderful! Severus, will you stay and help decorate it with us?"

Just then, Samuel woke up. "Allow me, Hermione," Severus said as he turned down the hallway to get the baby. Severus had never been so relieved to hear his son cry as he had been at that moment, as it gave him an excuse to distance himself from the festivities. Carrying Samuel, he returned to the living room and sat by the fire, stealing glances out of the corner of his eye as he observed Remus and Hermione smiling and laughing with each other, as they sang carols and decorated the tree.

He felt a pang of envy at their easy friendship, as it was like nothing that he had ever experienced. Thus, he contented himself with holding his son, unobtrusively watching their antics from across the room as tinsel was strewn on the tree. When Samuel eventually nodded off to sleep and returned to his cradle, it was with a bit of reluctance that Severus joined them, as he was the only one who was tall enough to place the glittering star on top of the tree. Hermione's smile of delight encouraged him to conjure some fairy lights as well, and before long, he was smiling along with them as they all worked together to string garland over the mantle and in the doorways. It was the first Christmas that Severus knew that he would have a pleasant memory of.

It had never been harder for him to leave than it was that evening. He reluctantly bid Hermione and Remus a good evening, and returned to the castle.

After the door closed behind him, Remus put his arm around Hermione and said quietly, "It's about time he loosen up a bit. I think he's beginning to come around."

Hermione sighed, "I do hope so."

"Hermione, will you please consider coming to the Christmas Feast at Hogwarts? Severus and I are required to be there, and I do not want you to spend your first Christmas with your son alone. I know that Professor Dumbledore would be pleased to have you, and the rest of the staff are wondering when they will meet your son."

"I don't know if I'm ready, Remus."

"The longer you isolate yourself, the harder it will be. You can't hide forever, Hermione. Please, just tell me that you will consider."

Hermione was nervous about facing so many of her old professors, but was looking forward to coming out of isolation. Even with Remus and Severus there so often, she was beginning to feel lonely.

"Remus, if it pleases you, I will come," Hermione whispered.

Remus put his arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple, "It would please me, Hermione."

**And,** Remus thought to himself, trying to conceal a conspiratory smile, **I'm sure it would please Severus.**