Author's Note: I had so much fun writing this chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)
Thank you again to my reviewers. Every word builds my confidence a bit more, and encourages me to follow where my heart is leading me with this story.
Thank you to everybody who has read my story. All questions, comments, and constructive criticisms are welcome if you would like to leave a review.
*******
Chapter 10 ~ Confrontation, Part 2
"Happy Christmas, Hermione!" Harry cried as Hermione opened the door wide and flung herself into his arms.
"Harry, what are you doing here?" she asked tearfully as she broke from his embrace and ushered him into the cottage.
"Er... Well, Ginny sent an owl to her mum telling her that you were at Hogwarts today. Ron and I had a few days break for the holiday and were visiting the Burrow when the letter came. Once I heard you were home, I couldn't stay away. Ron couldn't get away just yet... the whole family is home for Christmas, and he wanted to stay and catch up with them. He may come by tomorrow." He smiled, "The entire Weasley clan sends their love."
"Apparently, I just missed you at the castle. Professor Dumbledore told me where I could find you," he explained.
"Did he, or Ginny, tell you... anything else?" Hermione asked nervously.
"No, Hermione. Just that you had been at the school, and that you were doing well," Harry replied. "Now, what is this important news that you wanted to share with me? Does it have anything to do with your disappearance over the summer?" he asked as he removed his cloak.
Hermione took a deep breath and replied, "Harry, it will be easier for me to show you than to tell you..." he looked confused as she led him down the hallway and into the bedroom. Harry sucked in his breath when she led him to the cradle where her son lay sleeping, "His name is Samuel," she said quietly.
"Merlin, Hermione! Who... When..." feeling flustered, he paused for a moment before asking, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's a long story, Harry..." she sighed.
"He's so tiny!" Harry said in a hushed voice as he knelt down near the cradle and reached his hand in to gently stroke Samuel's cheek, "Hermione... I don't know what to say."
"He's beautiful!" Harry exclaimed as he rose to his feet and embraced her, "Congratulations, Hermione!" He stepped back and smiled, "You don't have to tell me anything, if you're not ready..."
"No, Harry. I've got nothing to hide anymore," Hermione took his hand and led him back to the living room. She poured him a cup of tea before sitting next to him in front of the fire, and began to tell him about Samuel.
When she paused to take a deep breath as she reached the events in the Forbidden Forest, Harry broke in.
"I'll kill him, Hermione! How could that... that bastard do this to you?"
"Harry! No! You don't understand!"
"What don't I understand? That greasy, no good..." he ran his fingers through his messy mop of black hair as he rose from his seat and began to pace, "he forced you, didn't he?"
"No, Harry! Please listen to me! He didn't force me!" Hermione stood up and faced Harry, trying to get him to listen to her.
Harry grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes, "The truth, Hermione! Did. He. Hurt. You?" he demanded, gently yet firmly.
"Why does everybody keep asking me that? First Remus, then Mum, and now YOU! I wouldn't be surprised if even Severus thinks..." she paused and gasped in realization as she plopped back onto the sofa, bowing her head into her hands.
"No! Oh no no... no..." she said in a voice so low that it was barely audible.
"Of course! How could I have been so blind!" she groaned, "He's not angry with me, he's angry with himself! And not for what he said to me, but for what he thinks he DID to me."
"Now it all makes sense, Harry," she whispered quietly, "I think... Severus may believe that... that he raped me!"
Harry looked at her in confusion, "And you say that he didn't? Then how could he think that he DID?" he asked incredulously.
"Oh, Harry..." Hermione cried, as she told him the rest of the story.
When she finished, Harry paused in thought before asking, "So, he really doesn't remember?"
"No, Harry! He only saw flashes of my memory! Those bits and pieces that he put together must have led him to the wrong conclusion! Honestly, how could I have been so stupid! I have spent so much time blaming myself, when all along he thought..." she broke off.
"It would explain so much... about his behavior. And all this time, I thought it was because of what I did to him... but don't you see, Harry, it's because of what he thinks that HE did to ME!"
Tears rolled down Hermione's face as Harry embraced her, "Hermione, his relationship with you and Samuel must mean a lot to you if it's got you this upset. If what you say is true, then you need to talk to him. Make him see the truth."
"I want Severus to be a part of Samuel's life. He wants it too. And that means the world to me! But he is so distant... there is so much tension in the air when he comes to visit, and that can't be good for our son! I want him to have two parents who get along, but the way it is now, we hardly even talk..."
Realizing that she was rambling, Hermione's voice drifted off as she wiped her eyes with her hand and looked at Harry, "You're right, Harry, I need to see him. I just don't know how to make him see the truth!"
They sat in silence for a while, Harry holding and comforting Hermione as she cried into his robes. They stayed that way until Hermione fell asleep in his arms.
Early the next morning, Harry gently pulled away from Hermione and had just put on a pot of coffee when he heard a knock on the door. Harry, thinking that it might be Ron, decided to let Hermione continue sleeping on the sofa and answered the door himself. To his surprise, it wasn't Ron. He broke into a wide grin as he met the smiling face of Remus Lupin.
"Harry! I didn't expect to see you here!" Remus exclaimed as he stepped inside and embraced the young man who was like a nephew to him, "Merlin, Harry! When did you get so tall?" he asked jovially, clapping Harry on the back.
"Where is Hermione?" Remus asked as he removed his cloak.
"Still sleeping. She had a bit of a rough night," Harry began to explain.
"Trouble with Severus?" Remus asked in concern.
"From what Hermione told me last night, the trouble with Professor Snape is nothing new," Harry brooded.
"Harry?" a sleepy voice called from the sofa. Both men looked over as Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Remus! What are you doing here so early?" she smiled.
"Good morning, Hermione! I just got back, and wanted to see that Severus got you home safely last night," he paused and looked at her in concern, "did something happen? Harry mentioned that you had a rough night."
Hermione frowned, remembering the conversation she had with Harry late last evening. Sensing that she needed something to help her wake up before talking to either of them, Harry went to the kitchen and returned with three mugs of steaming coffee. Hermione sighed as the strong flavor brought her to her senses. Suddenly, something seemed amiss.
"Samuel! Where is he? He never woke up..." she fretted, realizing that he hadn't been up for any nighttime feedings. She rushed to the bedroom, nearly running to the cradle, where she bent down and pressed her cheek to his chest to feel the rise and fall of his steady breathing.
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Remus asked, his brow furrowed in concern as he entered the bedroom with Harry trailing behind him.
Hermione looked up with a sheepish grin, "He's fine," she breathed a sigh of relief, "The little angel slept through the night! It's never happened before, so I thought..."
She sighed, "I'm just being silly."
"No, Hermione..." Remus smiled, "You're being a mother!"
They all laughed, as she woke Samuel up for his morning feeding. As she sat there nursing her son, Remus comforted her with a few tales that James had told him, many years ago, about Lily acting the same way when Harry was an infant. Harry looked on, wistfully, enjoying the stories about his parents. Thinking about his parents reminded him of what had happened to Hermione's parents, and he asked her about her mother.
"She is doing very well, Harry! She is walking again... as a matter of fact, she joined us at Hogwarts for the Christmas Feast yesterday!" she beamed a smile at Remus as she said this, and as she was getting ready to ask how her mother's return trip to London went, she remembered the remark he had made when he arrived earlier.
She furrowed her brow as she asked him, "Remus... you said you just got back this morning? Where have you been?"
"Well... er... I saw your mother home safely, and she invited me in to warm up with a cup of tea. It was getting late, and the snow had started up again... she insisted on putting me up in the guest bedroom for the night."
"I see," said Hermione, trying to surpress a smile. She looked at Harry, who had an odd grin on his face as he winked at her.
Remus changed the subject, "And why don't you tell me what had you so upset that you cried yourself to sleep on Harry's shoulder?"
Hermione sighed, "I've been so wrong about things, Remus. I just realized... and I think I may be right... that Severus might have the wrong idea about what happened that night, in the Forbidden Forest."
Remus tried to hide a knowing smile as he asked, "How so?"
"Remus, do you think it possible that Severus misunderstood my memories? That he believes that he may have... forced me?" she asked quietly.
Remus sighed, "Hermione, I have suspected that may be the case. I didn't know for sure, and didn't want to trouble you with it. I was waiting for HIM to figure it out. I didn't expect that you would be the one to come to that conclusion," he smiled at her, "but you always were quick to figure things out."
"Oh, Remus! What do I do now?"
"Go to him, Hermione! Make him see the truth. Things will never be right unless you two make amends, and that will not happen as long as he continues to blame himself."
Remus offered to take care of Samuel for the rest of the morning, giving Hermione the opportunity to go see Severus. She was a bit reluctant to leave her son, though she knew that he was in capable hands. It would be the first time that she would be separated from him since his birth.
"Hermione, we'll be fine. And Harry is here, if we need anything I will send him to fetch you."
She reluctantly agreed, and left as quickly as possible before she had a chance to lose her nerve.
After apparating at the gates, she hurried across the school grounds, rushing into the school and heading straight for the dungeons. Not knowing where his private quarters may be, she checked his office, and then the Potions classroom. He wasn't in either room. Her eyes began to tear as she wondered where to go next.
"Dumbledore!" she whispered, knowing that the headmaster would be able to help her locate Severus. She rushed out of the classroom and turned the corner, not looking where she was going, and collided with Severus.
"Hermione! What are you doing here? Is something wrong... is it Samuel?" he asked worriedly as he reached out to steady her on her feet.
"No, Samuel is fine," she paused to catch her breath, "but something IS terribly wrong, and we need to talk."
*****
Severus heart skipped a beat as he collided with Hermione outside of the Potion's classroom. He looked into her tearful eyes and asked, "Hermione! What are you doing here? Is something wrong... is it Samuel?"
"No, Samuel is fine."
Severus breathed a sigh of relief as Hermione paused to catch her breath, "But something IS terribly wrong, and we need to talk."
Furrowing his brow, he took her by the arm and led her past his office to the entrance of his private quarters. He rushed to remove the wards and whispered the password, ushering her inside.
"Severus..." she sobbed.
When she couldn't continue through her tears, he began to grow concerned again "What is wrong Hermione?" he asked as he held her gently by the shoulders.
"All this time, Severus... all this time, I thought you understood. But you didn't understand at all! About what happened that night in the forest..."
He abruptly let go of her, turning away as he wearily ran one hand over his eyes, "Hermione, I have told you before, I do understand. After what I did to you..."
"That's just it, Severus! You didn't DO anything to me! Nothing that I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to!"
"I saw what I did, Hermione! I hurt you, and I know that I will never be able to make it up to you!" he snapped as he began to pace the room.
She rounded on him and grabbed his hand, "You didn't hurt me, Severus!" she cried, "you only THINK that you did, because you only saw bits and pieces of my memories of that night! You've come to the wrong conclusion!"
"The wrong conclusion? I KNOW what I saw," he snarled as he tried to pull away. Hermione reached out and grasped his other hand.
"No, Severus! Stop being so bloody stubborn and listen to me!" she demanded.
"Don't you see, Severus? Think about it. You only saw flashes of my memory, and when you put it all together, you were convinced that you had raped me!"
"But you didn't force anything on me that I didn't want!"
He sneered as he hissed, "You wouldn't have wanted me..."
"Oh, but I did! Heaven help me Severus, but I did want you! I didn't know it until right then, at that moment, it just seemed so right..."
She reached her hand up and forced him to look at her.
And finally, as Severus looked into her wide brown eyes, he could see the truth in them.
Severus took a shuddering breath as he pulled her closer, asking in a hoarse voice, "Is it true?"
As Hermione pulled back and looked again into his eyes, Severus couldn't resist reaching his hands up to cup her face, brushing her tears away with his thumbs. Before she could answer, he leaned down and murmered, "I've been a fool," as he captured her soft lips in a gentle kiss.
Thank you again to my reviewers. Every word builds my confidence a bit more, and encourages me to follow where my heart is leading me with this story.
Thank you to everybody who has read my story. All questions, comments, and constructive criticisms are welcome if you would like to leave a review.
*******
Chapter 10 ~ Confrontation, Part 2
"Happy Christmas, Hermione!" Harry cried as Hermione opened the door wide and flung herself into his arms.
"Harry, what are you doing here?" she asked tearfully as she broke from his embrace and ushered him into the cottage.
"Er... Well, Ginny sent an owl to her mum telling her that you were at Hogwarts today. Ron and I had a few days break for the holiday and were visiting the Burrow when the letter came. Once I heard you were home, I couldn't stay away. Ron couldn't get away just yet... the whole family is home for Christmas, and he wanted to stay and catch up with them. He may come by tomorrow." He smiled, "The entire Weasley clan sends their love."
"Apparently, I just missed you at the castle. Professor Dumbledore told me where I could find you," he explained.
"Did he, or Ginny, tell you... anything else?" Hermione asked nervously.
"No, Hermione. Just that you had been at the school, and that you were doing well," Harry replied. "Now, what is this important news that you wanted to share with me? Does it have anything to do with your disappearance over the summer?" he asked as he removed his cloak.
Hermione took a deep breath and replied, "Harry, it will be easier for me to show you than to tell you..." he looked confused as she led him down the hallway and into the bedroom. Harry sucked in his breath when she led him to the cradle where her son lay sleeping, "His name is Samuel," she said quietly.
"Merlin, Hermione! Who... When..." feeling flustered, he paused for a moment before asking, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's a long story, Harry..." she sighed.
"He's so tiny!" Harry said in a hushed voice as he knelt down near the cradle and reached his hand in to gently stroke Samuel's cheek, "Hermione... I don't know what to say."
"He's beautiful!" Harry exclaimed as he rose to his feet and embraced her, "Congratulations, Hermione!" He stepped back and smiled, "You don't have to tell me anything, if you're not ready..."
"No, Harry. I've got nothing to hide anymore," Hermione took his hand and led him back to the living room. She poured him a cup of tea before sitting next to him in front of the fire, and began to tell him about Samuel.
When she paused to take a deep breath as she reached the events in the Forbidden Forest, Harry broke in.
"I'll kill him, Hermione! How could that... that bastard do this to you?"
"Harry! No! You don't understand!"
"What don't I understand? That greasy, no good..." he ran his fingers through his messy mop of black hair as he rose from his seat and began to pace, "he forced you, didn't he?"
"No, Harry! Please listen to me! He didn't force me!" Hermione stood up and faced Harry, trying to get him to listen to her.
Harry grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes, "The truth, Hermione! Did. He. Hurt. You?" he demanded, gently yet firmly.
"Why does everybody keep asking me that? First Remus, then Mum, and now YOU! I wouldn't be surprised if even Severus thinks..." she paused and gasped in realization as she plopped back onto the sofa, bowing her head into her hands.
"No! Oh no no... no..." she said in a voice so low that it was barely audible.
"Of course! How could I have been so blind!" she groaned, "He's not angry with me, he's angry with himself! And not for what he said to me, but for what he thinks he DID to me."
"Now it all makes sense, Harry," she whispered quietly, "I think... Severus may believe that... that he raped me!"
Harry looked at her in confusion, "And you say that he didn't? Then how could he think that he DID?" he asked incredulously.
"Oh, Harry..." Hermione cried, as she told him the rest of the story.
When she finished, Harry paused in thought before asking, "So, he really doesn't remember?"
"No, Harry! He only saw flashes of my memory! Those bits and pieces that he put together must have led him to the wrong conclusion! Honestly, how could I have been so stupid! I have spent so much time blaming myself, when all along he thought..." she broke off.
"It would explain so much... about his behavior. And all this time, I thought it was because of what I did to him... but don't you see, Harry, it's because of what he thinks that HE did to ME!"
Tears rolled down Hermione's face as Harry embraced her, "Hermione, his relationship with you and Samuel must mean a lot to you if it's got you this upset. If what you say is true, then you need to talk to him. Make him see the truth."
"I want Severus to be a part of Samuel's life. He wants it too. And that means the world to me! But he is so distant... there is so much tension in the air when he comes to visit, and that can't be good for our son! I want him to have two parents who get along, but the way it is now, we hardly even talk..."
Realizing that she was rambling, Hermione's voice drifted off as she wiped her eyes with her hand and looked at Harry, "You're right, Harry, I need to see him. I just don't know how to make him see the truth!"
They sat in silence for a while, Harry holding and comforting Hermione as she cried into his robes. They stayed that way until Hermione fell asleep in his arms.
Early the next morning, Harry gently pulled away from Hermione and had just put on a pot of coffee when he heard a knock on the door. Harry, thinking that it might be Ron, decided to let Hermione continue sleeping on the sofa and answered the door himself. To his surprise, it wasn't Ron. He broke into a wide grin as he met the smiling face of Remus Lupin.
"Harry! I didn't expect to see you here!" Remus exclaimed as he stepped inside and embraced the young man who was like a nephew to him, "Merlin, Harry! When did you get so tall?" he asked jovially, clapping Harry on the back.
"Where is Hermione?" Remus asked as he removed his cloak.
"Still sleeping. She had a bit of a rough night," Harry began to explain.
"Trouble with Severus?" Remus asked in concern.
"From what Hermione told me last night, the trouble with Professor Snape is nothing new," Harry brooded.
"Harry?" a sleepy voice called from the sofa. Both men looked over as Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Remus! What are you doing here so early?" she smiled.
"Good morning, Hermione! I just got back, and wanted to see that Severus got you home safely last night," he paused and looked at her in concern, "did something happen? Harry mentioned that you had a rough night."
Hermione frowned, remembering the conversation she had with Harry late last evening. Sensing that she needed something to help her wake up before talking to either of them, Harry went to the kitchen and returned with three mugs of steaming coffee. Hermione sighed as the strong flavor brought her to her senses. Suddenly, something seemed amiss.
"Samuel! Where is he? He never woke up..." she fretted, realizing that he hadn't been up for any nighttime feedings. She rushed to the bedroom, nearly running to the cradle, where she bent down and pressed her cheek to his chest to feel the rise and fall of his steady breathing.
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Remus asked, his brow furrowed in concern as he entered the bedroom with Harry trailing behind him.
Hermione looked up with a sheepish grin, "He's fine," she breathed a sigh of relief, "The little angel slept through the night! It's never happened before, so I thought..."
She sighed, "I'm just being silly."
"No, Hermione..." Remus smiled, "You're being a mother!"
They all laughed, as she woke Samuel up for his morning feeding. As she sat there nursing her son, Remus comforted her with a few tales that James had told him, many years ago, about Lily acting the same way when Harry was an infant. Harry looked on, wistfully, enjoying the stories about his parents. Thinking about his parents reminded him of what had happened to Hermione's parents, and he asked her about her mother.
"She is doing very well, Harry! She is walking again... as a matter of fact, she joined us at Hogwarts for the Christmas Feast yesterday!" she beamed a smile at Remus as she said this, and as she was getting ready to ask how her mother's return trip to London went, she remembered the remark he had made when he arrived earlier.
She furrowed her brow as she asked him, "Remus... you said you just got back this morning? Where have you been?"
"Well... er... I saw your mother home safely, and she invited me in to warm up with a cup of tea. It was getting late, and the snow had started up again... she insisted on putting me up in the guest bedroom for the night."
"I see," said Hermione, trying to surpress a smile. She looked at Harry, who had an odd grin on his face as he winked at her.
Remus changed the subject, "And why don't you tell me what had you so upset that you cried yourself to sleep on Harry's shoulder?"
Hermione sighed, "I've been so wrong about things, Remus. I just realized... and I think I may be right... that Severus might have the wrong idea about what happened that night, in the Forbidden Forest."
Remus tried to hide a knowing smile as he asked, "How so?"
"Remus, do you think it possible that Severus misunderstood my memories? That he believes that he may have... forced me?" she asked quietly.
Remus sighed, "Hermione, I have suspected that may be the case. I didn't know for sure, and didn't want to trouble you with it. I was waiting for HIM to figure it out. I didn't expect that you would be the one to come to that conclusion," he smiled at her, "but you always were quick to figure things out."
"Oh, Remus! What do I do now?"
"Go to him, Hermione! Make him see the truth. Things will never be right unless you two make amends, and that will not happen as long as he continues to blame himself."
Remus offered to take care of Samuel for the rest of the morning, giving Hermione the opportunity to go see Severus. She was a bit reluctant to leave her son, though she knew that he was in capable hands. It would be the first time that she would be separated from him since his birth.
"Hermione, we'll be fine. And Harry is here, if we need anything I will send him to fetch you."
She reluctantly agreed, and left as quickly as possible before she had a chance to lose her nerve.
After apparating at the gates, she hurried across the school grounds, rushing into the school and heading straight for the dungeons. Not knowing where his private quarters may be, she checked his office, and then the Potions classroom. He wasn't in either room. Her eyes began to tear as she wondered where to go next.
"Dumbledore!" she whispered, knowing that the headmaster would be able to help her locate Severus. She rushed out of the classroom and turned the corner, not looking where she was going, and collided with Severus.
"Hermione! What are you doing here? Is something wrong... is it Samuel?" he asked worriedly as he reached out to steady her on her feet.
"No, Samuel is fine," she paused to catch her breath, "but something IS terribly wrong, and we need to talk."
*****
Severus heart skipped a beat as he collided with Hermione outside of the Potion's classroom. He looked into her tearful eyes and asked, "Hermione! What are you doing here? Is something wrong... is it Samuel?"
"No, Samuel is fine."
Severus breathed a sigh of relief as Hermione paused to catch her breath, "But something IS terribly wrong, and we need to talk."
Furrowing his brow, he took her by the arm and led her past his office to the entrance of his private quarters. He rushed to remove the wards and whispered the password, ushering her inside.
"Severus..." she sobbed.
When she couldn't continue through her tears, he began to grow concerned again "What is wrong Hermione?" he asked as he held her gently by the shoulders.
"All this time, Severus... all this time, I thought you understood. But you didn't understand at all! About what happened that night in the forest..."
He abruptly let go of her, turning away as he wearily ran one hand over his eyes, "Hermione, I have told you before, I do understand. After what I did to you..."
"That's just it, Severus! You didn't DO anything to me! Nothing that I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to!"
"I saw what I did, Hermione! I hurt you, and I know that I will never be able to make it up to you!" he snapped as he began to pace the room.
She rounded on him and grabbed his hand, "You didn't hurt me, Severus!" she cried, "you only THINK that you did, because you only saw bits and pieces of my memories of that night! You've come to the wrong conclusion!"
"The wrong conclusion? I KNOW what I saw," he snarled as he tried to pull away. Hermione reached out and grasped his other hand.
"No, Severus! Stop being so bloody stubborn and listen to me!" she demanded.
"Don't you see, Severus? Think about it. You only saw flashes of my memory, and when you put it all together, you were convinced that you had raped me!"
"But you didn't force anything on me that I didn't want!"
He sneered as he hissed, "You wouldn't have wanted me..."
"Oh, but I did! Heaven help me Severus, but I did want you! I didn't know it until right then, at that moment, it just seemed so right..."
She reached her hand up and forced him to look at her.
And finally, as Severus looked into her wide brown eyes, he could see the truth in them.
Severus took a shuddering breath as he pulled her closer, asking in a hoarse voice, "Is it true?"
As Hermione pulled back and looked again into his eyes, Severus couldn't resist reaching his hands up to cup her face, brushing her tears away with his thumbs. Before she could answer, he leaned down and murmered, "I've been a fool," as he captured her soft lips in a gentle kiss.
