Author's Note: Whew! This chapter sure had me stumped. But once I finally got rolling, the words just poured right out onto the keyboard. I hope you enjoy it!
Thank you to my readers and reviewers, new and old alike. As always, all questions, comments, and constructive criticism are welcome if you'd like to leave a review.
*******
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling, and are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*************
Chapter 14 ~ "Something to Think About"
After the Headmaster had left his quarters the previous evening, Severus sat by the fire staring at the bottle of brandy that he still held in his hands. He never took another drink, but he couldn't seem to put it down. He swirled the amber liquid around in the bottle as he thought seriously about the Headmaster's suggestion.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he thought about what it would mean if Hermione accepted the offer.
His son. HERE. Where he could see him every day. Visions of the future began to flash through his mind.
Severus sitting on the floor encouraging Samuel to crawl... holding the boy's hand as he took his first step... hearing his child say "papa" for the first time... an eleven year old Samuel, with a face so like Severus' own, wearing school robes with the Slytherin crest, smiling with pride at his father... Quidditch and Potions and all things magical that Severus intended to teach his son.
When he fell asleep, still sitting in front of the fire, those beautiful images changed to visions of his son growing up without a father... Hermione holding his hand instead of Severus... the boy never learning the meaning of the word "papa"... an eleven year old Samuel attending a muggle school, unaware that there was a magical world in which he belonged.
He jolted awake and found himself drenched in a cold sweat. Looking down at the brandy he held in his hands, he hurled the bottle into the fire which erupted in blue flames as he cursed Hermione for even thinking about taking his son away.
Severus spent the rest of the night wandering the corridors of the school, trying to clear his head. When the sun began to rise, he had to fight back the urge to run out of the school and to the cottage to shake some sense into the girl. He returned to his quarters and took a warm shower to ease his muscles, which were tense from sleeping in the chair for half the night, and then he headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Severus frowned as he noticed that both Albus' and Remus' chairs at the Head Table were vacant. Had Albus gone so early this morning to visit Hermione? Severus was disappointed, he had hoped to be there. And Remus... the bloody werewolf must have spent the night with Hermione, Severus fumed. Having lost what little appetite he had arrived with that morning, he drank cup after cup of strong black coffee, glowering at any student who dared to look in his direction, before finally scraping back his chair and storming out through a side passage of the Great Hall.
He made his way outside and stood in the brisk morning air, watching the sun's dazzling effect on the snowy ground, and waiting for the Headmaster's return.
*****
"I knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. I hope you don't mind that I let myself in," Albus said as he stepped forward, glancing from Hermione to Remus and Samuel, smiling at the vision of the man gently rocking the infant.
Hermione greeted him with a surprised smile, "Not at all, Professor Dumbledore," as she reached for her dressing gown.
"No need to get up, Miss Granger. Please, finish your breakfast. I'd like to speak to you when you're done. In the meantime, Remus, can I have a word with you in private?"
Carrying Samuel, Remus led Albus to the living room. Sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the fireplace, as Remus settled onto the sofa with Samuel, the Headmaster began to tell Remus of the possible solution that he had discussed with Severus the previous evening.
Remus grinned, "It's perfect, Albus! I only hope that she doesn't let what happened with Severus last evening stand in her way."
"Stand in the way of what?" Hermione asked as she entered the room. She took Samuel from Remus, cradling him in her arms as she rocked back and forth on her feet.
Albus rose to his feet with a gentle smile on his face, beckoning her to take a seat before he began.
"How are you feeling today, Hermione?" he asked gently.
"A bit better, now that I've had some sleep and a solid meal," she replied with a sheepish grin.
"Wonderful! Very well then, I'll just get to the reason I am here," Albus began.
"Hermione," he looked at her seriously, "do you truly want to go to your mother's?"
"Professor Dumbledore, I think that I may have no choice but to go," she replied.
"I see. But, what I'm asking is," his vivid blue eyes met with hers, "do you WANT to go?"
Hermione looked confused for a moment. Why was he asking her this?
She didn't respond until after she had thought about it for a few moments. Did she want to go? Living with her mother was the most obvious solution, and would surely be comfortable for her, yet she didn't want to leave the world that she had grown to love over the years. Nearly half her life she had spent here.
Could she leave? Yes, she could very easily make a life in London with her mother and her son, and it would open up opportunities that she had given up hope for.
But did she want to? She frowned and replied, "Whether I want to or not, I really don't see any other way..."
Albus shook his head as he smiled knowingly, "But there is another way, Hermione."
Hermione's eyes darted to Remus, and upon seeing his encouraging smile she asked, "What are you two up to?"
They laughed before Albus responded.
"Hermione, if you will please recall what we discussed in my office after graduation last year," the Headmaster began.
Hermione frowned in confusion, "Professor Dumbledore, I thought I made it clear that I couldn't accept your offer."
"Yes, Hermione. You did. However, the offer still stands," Albus continued.
"But..."
Albus held up a hand, "Please, let me finish," he said firmly.
Hermione blushed, "Sorry, Professor," she apologized.
"Not at all, Hermione. Just hear me out," Albus smiled in return, "Now, I discussed it last evening with both Minerva and Severus, and this morning with Remus. Hermione, though you declined our offer last year, I had the notion that you really wanted to accept, and that it was your circumstances which prevented you from doing so. If you are indeed interested in accepting an apprenticeship, it may just solve some of your problems. Namely, having somewhere to live and somebody to help you with your son so you can, if you wish, continue your eductaion."
"How do you mean?"
"If you would accept, you would be provided with your own quarters at Hogwarts," Albus assured her, "Remus and Severus would be nearby to help you with Samuel, and, I'm sure, Minerva would be pleased to lend a hand as well. Furthermore, an apprenticeship would earn you credits towards further education, if you wish to attend the University in the future."
"So you see, Hermione," Remus spoke up with a smile, "If you decide to do this, it could resolve so many of your problems."
"Yes, it would, but..." she paused and whispered, "Severus."
"Would living so close to him be a problem for you, Hermione?" Remus asked.
"I don't know, Remus. Every time we seem to be working things out, something goes wrong. I don't even know if he would want anything to do with me after last night. What he must think of me..." she broke off and looked away, embarrassed as she recalled the state that Severus had discovered her in, not only physically, but emotionally as well.
"I assure you, Hermione, Severus doesn't think any less of you. His life has been turned upside down as well, and I believe he's just beginning to feel the pressure of trying to deal with the transition from father back to teacher. Being away from his son has been harder on him than I think either of you may realize, and I'm afraid that he may have taken his frustration out on you," Albus tried to explain.
"I drove him to it," Hermione muttered under her breath.
"You don't have to make your decision today, Hermione," Remus interjected, not hearing what she had said, "Just promise that you will take Albus's offer into consideration."
"I will," she whispered.
"Well then," Albus clapped his hands together as he rose to his feet, "I must be getting back. Is there anything you need, Hermione?"
"No, Thank you Professor," she paused for a moment before adding, "but if you see Severus... well, tell him Thank You."
Albus smiled at her with a twinkle in his eye as he nodded and bid Hermione and Remus goodbye.
*****
Hermione was greatful for Remus' presence that morning, as she could think more clearly when she was not overwhelmed by Samuel's demands. And Merlin, did she have a lot of thinking to do!
Of all places, muggle or magical, that she had ever been to in her life, Hogwarts was her favorite place in the world. She loved it so much that she had even spent the last few weeks before her graduation thinking about coming back to teach one day. As she had told Professor McGonagall at the Christmas Feast, the offer of an apprenticeship was like a dream come true, as coming back to Howarts would feel like she was coming home.
Subconsciously, it was the probably the reason she had chosen this cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. It was secluded enough that she could keep out of the public eye, yet it was close to the place that she held so dear to her heart, giving her a sense of security that she would not have been able to find elsewhere.
She wanted to go back to stay. That, she knew for sure. But could she?
The only thing holding her back was also one of the reasons she wanted to stay. The deciding factor in the choice she had to make would be Severus Snape.
"Remus," she finally spoke quietly, "I need to get to Hogwarts."
*****
Severus was not aware that he had missed Albus' return. As he stormed out through the side passage of the Great Hall earlier, he hadn't seen the Headmaster enter the room through the main entrance.
Just as the frigid air was forcing him to give up on waiting for Albus, he saw two cloaked figures trudging through the knee deep snow across the school grounds. His brow furrowed in concern when he realized that it was Remus and Hermione. Why were they bringing Samuel out in this weather? Had something happened?
He fought back the urge to rush to them and check on his son, deciding to wait at the entrance for them. As they approached, he couldn't hold back any longer. He stepped forwards to take his son into his arms while Remus assisted Hermione into the castle.
"What do you mean by bringing Samuel out in this weather?" he snapped at Hermione.
Taken aback, Hermione opened her mouth but no words came out.
Remus interjected, "Step aside, Severus. We need to get these two warmed up," as he ushered Hermione into the entrance hall.
As he removed the blankets that his son had been swaddled in, he noticed their unnatural warmth. Severus immediately regretted his harsh words. Of course Hermione wouldn't have exposed her son to frigid temperatures without using a warming charm on his blankets. Once again, he marveled at his stupidity as he suddenly recalled her doing the same thing to keep Samuel warm when Severus had escorted them to the castle on Christmas day.
After Remus had helped Hermione with some drying and warming charms on herself, Severus asked in a gentler tone, "What brings you here today?"
Hermione looked up, her face set in determination as she met his black eyes, and responded with a single word.
"You."
Thank you to my readers and reviewers, new and old alike. As always, all questions, comments, and constructive criticism are welcome if you'd like to leave a review.
*******
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling, and are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*************
Chapter 14 ~ "Something to Think About"
After the Headmaster had left his quarters the previous evening, Severus sat by the fire staring at the bottle of brandy that he still held in his hands. He never took another drink, but he couldn't seem to put it down. He swirled the amber liquid around in the bottle as he thought seriously about the Headmaster's suggestion.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he thought about what it would mean if Hermione accepted the offer.
His son. HERE. Where he could see him every day. Visions of the future began to flash through his mind.
Severus sitting on the floor encouraging Samuel to crawl... holding the boy's hand as he took his first step... hearing his child say "papa" for the first time... an eleven year old Samuel, with a face so like Severus' own, wearing school robes with the Slytherin crest, smiling with pride at his father... Quidditch and Potions and all things magical that Severus intended to teach his son.
When he fell asleep, still sitting in front of the fire, those beautiful images changed to visions of his son growing up without a father... Hermione holding his hand instead of Severus... the boy never learning the meaning of the word "papa"... an eleven year old Samuel attending a muggle school, unaware that there was a magical world in which he belonged.
He jolted awake and found himself drenched in a cold sweat. Looking down at the brandy he held in his hands, he hurled the bottle into the fire which erupted in blue flames as he cursed Hermione for even thinking about taking his son away.
Severus spent the rest of the night wandering the corridors of the school, trying to clear his head. When the sun began to rise, he had to fight back the urge to run out of the school and to the cottage to shake some sense into the girl. He returned to his quarters and took a warm shower to ease his muscles, which were tense from sleeping in the chair for half the night, and then he headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Severus frowned as he noticed that both Albus' and Remus' chairs at the Head Table were vacant. Had Albus gone so early this morning to visit Hermione? Severus was disappointed, he had hoped to be there. And Remus... the bloody werewolf must have spent the night with Hermione, Severus fumed. Having lost what little appetite he had arrived with that morning, he drank cup after cup of strong black coffee, glowering at any student who dared to look in his direction, before finally scraping back his chair and storming out through a side passage of the Great Hall.
He made his way outside and stood in the brisk morning air, watching the sun's dazzling effect on the snowy ground, and waiting for the Headmaster's return.
*****
"I knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. I hope you don't mind that I let myself in," Albus said as he stepped forward, glancing from Hermione to Remus and Samuel, smiling at the vision of the man gently rocking the infant.
Hermione greeted him with a surprised smile, "Not at all, Professor Dumbledore," as she reached for her dressing gown.
"No need to get up, Miss Granger. Please, finish your breakfast. I'd like to speak to you when you're done. In the meantime, Remus, can I have a word with you in private?"
Carrying Samuel, Remus led Albus to the living room. Sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the fireplace, as Remus settled onto the sofa with Samuel, the Headmaster began to tell Remus of the possible solution that he had discussed with Severus the previous evening.
Remus grinned, "It's perfect, Albus! I only hope that she doesn't let what happened with Severus last evening stand in her way."
"Stand in the way of what?" Hermione asked as she entered the room. She took Samuel from Remus, cradling him in her arms as she rocked back and forth on her feet.
Albus rose to his feet with a gentle smile on his face, beckoning her to take a seat before he began.
"How are you feeling today, Hermione?" he asked gently.
"A bit better, now that I've had some sleep and a solid meal," she replied with a sheepish grin.
"Wonderful! Very well then, I'll just get to the reason I am here," Albus began.
"Hermione," he looked at her seriously, "do you truly want to go to your mother's?"
"Professor Dumbledore, I think that I may have no choice but to go," she replied.
"I see. But, what I'm asking is," his vivid blue eyes met with hers, "do you WANT to go?"
Hermione looked confused for a moment. Why was he asking her this?
She didn't respond until after she had thought about it for a few moments. Did she want to go? Living with her mother was the most obvious solution, and would surely be comfortable for her, yet she didn't want to leave the world that she had grown to love over the years. Nearly half her life she had spent here.
Could she leave? Yes, she could very easily make a life in London with her mother and her son, and it would open up opportunities that she had given up hope for.
But did she want to? She frowned and replied, "Whether I want to or not, I really don't see any other way..."
Albus shook his head as he smiled knowingly, "But there is another way, Hermione."
Hermione's eyes darted to Remus, and upon seeing his encouraging smile she asked, "What are you two up to?"
They laughed before Albus responded.
"Hermione, if you will please recall what we discussed in my office after graduation last year," the Headmaster began.
Hermione frowned in confusion, "Professor Dumbledore, I thought I made it clear that I couldn't accept your offer."
"Yes, Hermione. You did. However, the offer still stands," Albus continued.
"But..."
Albus held up a hand, "Please, let me finish," he said firmly.
Hermione blushed, "Sorry, Professor," she apologized.
"Not at all, Hermione. Just hear me out," Albus smiled in return, "Now, I discussed it last evening with both Minerva and Severus, and this morning with Remus. Hermione, though you declined our offer last year, I had the notion that you really wanted to accept, and that it was your circumstances which prevented you from doing so. If you are indeed interested in accepting an apprenticeship, it may just solve some of your problems. Namely, having somewhere to live and somebody to help you with your son so you can, if you wish, continue your eductaion."
"How do you mean?"
"If you would accept, you would be provided with your own quarters at Hogwarts," Albus assured her, "Remus and Severus would be nearby to help you with Samuel, and, I'm sure, Minerva would be pleased to lend a hand as well. Furthermore, an apprenticeship would earn you credits towards further education, if you wish to attend the University in the future."
"So you see, Hermione," Remus spoke up with a smile, "If you decide to do this, it could resolve so many of your problems."
"Yes, it would, but..." she paused and whispered, "Severus."
"Would living so close to him be a problem for you, Hermione?" Remus asked.
"I don't know, Remus. Every time we seem to be working things out, something goes wrong. I don't even know if he would want anything to do with me after last night. What he must think of me..." she broke off and looked away, embarrassed as she recalled the state that Severus had discovered her in, not only physically, but emotionally as well.
"I assure you, Hermione, Severus doesn't think any less of you. His life has been turned upside down as well, and I believe he's just beginning to feel the pressure of trying to deal with the transition from father back to teacher. Being away from his son has been harder on him than I think either of you may realize, and I'm afraid that he may have taken his frustration out on you," Albus tried to explain.
"I drove him to it," Hermione muttered under her breath.
"You don't have to make your decision today, Hermione," Remus interjected, not hearing what she had said, "Just promise that you will take Albus's offer into consideration."
"I will," she whispered.
"Well then," Albus clapped his hands together as he rose to his feet, "I must be getting back. Is there anything you need, Hermione?"
"No, Thank you Professor," she paused for a moment before adding, "but if you see Severus... well, tell him Thank You."
Albus smiled at her with a twinkle in his eye as he nodded and bid Hermione and Remus goodbye.
*****
Hermione was greatful for Remus' presence that morning, as she could think more clearly when she was not overwhelmed by Samuel's demands. And Merlin, did she have a lot of thinking to do!
Of all places, muggle or magical, that she had ever been to in her life, Hogwarts was her favorite place in the world. She loved it so much that she had even spent the last few weeks before her graduation thinking about coming back to teach one day. As she had told Professor McGonagall at the Christmas Feast, the offer of an apprenticeship was like a dream come true, as coming back to Howarts would feel like she was coming home.
Subconsciously, it was the probably the reason she had chosen this cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. It was secluded enough that she could keep out of the public eye, yet it was close to the place that she held so dear to her heart, giving her a sense of security that she would not have been able to find elsewhere.
She wanted to go back to stay. That, she knew for sure. But could she?
The only thing holding her back was also one of the reasons she wanted to stay. The deciding factor in the choice she had to make would be Severus Snape.
"Remus," she finally spoke quietly, "I need to get to Hogwarts."
*****
Severus was not aware that he had missed Albus' return. As he stormed out through the side passage of the Great Hall earlier, he hadn't seen the Headmaster enter the room through the main entrance.
Just as the frigid air was forcing him to give up on waiting for Albus, he saw two cloaked figures trudging through the knee deep snow across the school grounds. His brow furrowed in concern when he realized that it was Remus and Hermione. Why were they bringing Samuel out in this weather? Had something happened?
He fought back the urge to rush to them and check on his son, deciding to wait at the entrance for them. As they approached, he couldn't hold back any longer. He stepped forwards to take his son into his arms while Remus assisted Hermione into the castle.
"What do you mean by bringing Samuel out in this weather?" he snapped at Hermione.
Taken aback, Hermione opened her mouth but no words came out.
Remus interjected, "Step aside, Severus. We need to get these two warmed up," as he ushered Hermione into the entrance hall.
As he removed the blankets that his son had been swaddled in, he noticed their unnatural warmth. Severus immediately regretted his harsh words. Of course Hermione wouldn't have exposed her son to frigid temperatures without using a warming charm on his blankets. Once again, he marveled at his stupidity as he suddenly recalled her doing the same thing to keep Samuel warm when Severus had escorted them to the castle on Christmas day.
After Remus had helped Hermione with some drying and warming charms on herself, Severus asked in a gentler tone, "What brings you here today?"
Hermione looked up, her face set in determination as she met his black eyes, and responded with a single word.
"You."
