Author's Note: This is a very angsty chapter... you didn't think it'd be smooth sailing for the two of them, did you? That would be a bit boring, wouldn't it?
As always, thank you to my readers and reviewers.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling, and are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*****
Chapter 26 ~ Mistakes of the Past
Hermione and Severus decided that they had better get back to focusing on her studies again... they had quite a few evenings of work to make up for, since Hermione had spent most evenings this past week with her mother. After dinner, Remus volunteered to sit with Samuel, and he took the child to the staff room for a change in atmosphere.
Working together that night, they were more relaxed than ever before. It was all business while they were brewing their latest potion, but the small touches that they had become accustomed to sharing now seemed much more intimate. Regardless, they didn't let the events of the past twenty-four hours disrupt their lesson.
As Hermione finished brewing and bottling her potion, Severus stepped behind her to praise her work.
"Perfectly brewed... as usual," he smiled, "Not that I expected anything less from you, Hermione."
"Thank you, Severus. Coming from you, that means a lot."
Severus sighed, "Hermione... if there's one thing I regret as a professor, it is that I never let you know how much I admired your abilities. So many times I was tempted to say, 'Well done, Miss Granger'... but then, I'd see young Mr. Malfoy and his cronies sneering at you... reminding me of my position. I'm sorry that I never made more of an effort to tell you..."
"I understand, Severus," Hermione interrupted, "Speaking of Malfoy... how is Draco faring these days?"
Lucius Malfoy had been killed in the Final Battle, leaving his wife and son behind. His death was no big loss to those who knew him for what he really was, but Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for Draco. She knew that he had ultimately rejected the lifestyle that his father had intended for him, which would have been to join the ranks of the Death Eaters. Even so, she knew the death of his father had to be hard on him.
Severus looked sympathetic as he started, "Draco is well.... considering what he has been left to deal with. His mother, on the other hand... she didn't take the death of her husband very well."
"Was Narcissa Malfoy a Death Eater as well?" Hermione asked.
Severus shook his head, "No. She wasn't... but she knew what Lucius was, and she supported him, even if she didn't particularly believe in his ideals."
"Did she... love him?"
"Yes, she did. And he loved her, in his own twisted way. He was not a kind man, but he treated her as if she were his most prized posession. He would never have let her come to harm... she led a very sheltered life as the wife of a Malfoy. Lucius would protect her and give her everything she ever wanted, and now that he's gone, she's literally gone out of her mind in grief. Draco had her admitted to St. Mungo's a few months back."
"Poor Draco..."
Severus smirked at the irony, "Those are two words that I never thought I'd hear coming from your mouth. But, I do agree."
"I spent seven years hoping that I could sway his beliefs. It wasn't easy, trying to change him while not revealing my own position... I was so proud of him when, in the end, he made the right choice. But now, he's alone, dealing with the consequences of his father's affairs," Severus looked morose as he finished speaking.
Hermione turned and slipped her arms around Severus' neck, "You've done all you can for him, Severus."
He looked down into her eyes before leaning in to kiss her softly.
"I only wish I could have done more," he scowled.
She kissed him deeply, whispering after she pulled back, "You're an amazing man, Severus Snape... complicated, but amazing. I'm proud that you are Samuel's father."
Severus was dumbstruck. He had never looked for anybody's approval, but the words that she just spoke meant more to him than he ever would have expected. He leaned into her, returning her kiss as he lifted her into his arms. He carried her through a door that she had never been aware of, leading directly from his private lab to his bedroom. Their kisses grew more passionate as he laid her on his bed and began to undress her.
*****
Severus groaned, "Wherever did you learn such passion?" he asked as he pulled Hermione into his arms. He couldn't believe how intense their lovemaking had been again tonight.
"From you," she grinned.
"Me?"
"Mmm hmm... last night..."
Severus could hardly believe what she was saying. From her nervousness the previous evening, and the incident leading up to teaching her the contraceptive charm, he had figured that she wasn't very experienced, and had an inkling that he may have even been her first... but her statement really brought it home. "Hermione... the night in the Forest... was it... your first time?"
He felt her squirm uncomfortably in her arms, and her cheeks grow warm as she nodded her head into his chest.
Severus kissed her brow, "I'm sorry if I... left you with horrible memories of that night... it should have been more special for you," he rasped.
"It was special, and not at all horrible," she murmured, "not until afterwards..."
"Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?"
Hermione sighed, her voice trembling as she whispered, "You said... you said that... you wanted to forget that it happened."
"Merlin! Hermione, I..." he pulled her tightly into his arms, "I can't imagine how you must have felt. I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"I forgave you a long time ago..."
"I could never make up for hurting you that way..."
Hermione raised her head, propping herself up on her elbow as she looked into his eyes, "Severus... you more than made up for it last night," she smirked, "and this morning, and tonight... by showing me how wonderful it can be. Just don't tell me that you want to forget, again..."
"Never," he stated adamantly before kissing her breathless once again, "I don't ever want to forget the time we spent together this weekend."
"You make it sound so final," she frowned as she pulled away.
"Did you... were you expecting it to continue?" he stammered.
Hermione began to look frantic as she asked, "Why wouldn't I?"
"I just thought..."
"A weekend fling... is that all this was to you?"
"No!"
"Severus, if that is all you wanted from me..." she fought back the tears as she gathered up her clothing, "If you'll excuse me, I have to go get our son!"
*****
Hermione stormed out of the room, through the nursery and to her own quarters, not even bothering to dress except to hastily throw her robe on to cover her nudity. When she reached her own room, she slammed her door behind her, taking deep breaths as she leaned back against it. She slid down against the wall, until she was on her knees, dropping her clothes into a heap beside her as she began to sob.
She was still lying there, sobbing, when Remus entered her quarters a little while later. His jovial smile quickly faded as he saw the sight before him.
"Hermione!" he rushed over to her, dropping to his knees and pulling her close with one arm. Samuel was tucked securely into his other arm.
Hermione looked up at him, her eyes red and watery as she trembled in his embrace. "Remus... please... just go."
"I won't leave you alone like this, Hermione. Not until I know what happened to you!"
"Samuel...?" she whispered as she looked at the baby.
"Is sleeping. I'm going to put him in his room, and when I return, you're going to tell me everything..."
Hermione nodded as he reached his hand out to her to help her stand. She followed him into the nursery, kissing her son before Remus gently laid him in the crib. He turned to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder as he ushered her out of the room. He poured her a glass of water, and rubbed her back as she slowly took a drink.
"Thank you," she said hoarsely.
He smiled gently at her, "Please, Hermione... tell me. I can't help you if you don't let me know what happened."
She sobbed, "Why do we keep repeating the mistakes of the past?"
"What do you mean?"
"Severus..." she choked, unable to continue.
Remus fumed, "WHAT did he do to you!"
"No, Remus... he didn't do anything to me."
"Then, what? Hermione, I come in here to find you slumped to the floor, sobbing... your clothes in a heap beside you... the only conclusion I can come to..."
"NO! Remus! NO! He didn't! You know he wouldn't!" she cried.
"If you don't tell me otherwise, that would be the only reasonable conclusion I would come to based on what I've seen here tonight!"
Hermione threw her arms around Remus, "He was so wonderful last night... treated me so good. And today... tonight... and now, he wants it to be over..." she was nearly incoherant as she rambled.
"Did you... sleep with him?"
Hermione nodded, "Yes..." she whispered.
"Willingly?"
"YES! Remus... how many times do I have to say it?"
"So it was mutual..." Remus looked at her as she nodded, "But only for the weekend?" she nodded again, "And you wanted it to be more?"
"I don't know what I wanted, Remus! I just didn't expect it to be over already!"
Remus stood, clenching and unclenching his fingers in fury, "I think I need to have a talk with Severus..."
"No, Remus. Please. I don't want you to get involved..."
"I'm already involved...I care too much about you... and your mother... and I owe it to her to watch out for you!"
Hermione collapsed onto her bed, curling up into a fetal position as Remus stormed out of the room.
*****
Severus paced his room wondering what the hell just happened. One minute, they were lying together in the afterglow of their love... the next, she was storming out of the room. How could the best weekend of his life end like this?
Neither brandy nor wine would be strong enough tonight. No, tonight he broke out a brand new bottle of firewhiskey. He was on his fourth round when he heard a pounding on the door, accompanied by an angry voice.
"Snape! Open up!"
"Go to hell, Lupin," he bellowed.
"I'm not going anywhere until we have a talk!"
Severus downed another shot of firewhiskey before stalking over to the door and flinging it open, "Why don't you just kill me now, Remus? I deserve it."
"Not until I get some answers, Snape!" Remus fumed, "What. Did. You. Do?"
Severus sneered, "What did I do? What did I do? Oh, yes... I spent an incredible weekend with the mother of my child..." he chuckled as he shook his head, "But then, I guess you don't want to hear about the sordid details of our bedroom activities?"
Remus stood in front of him, his jaw tight as he clenched his fists.
"Going to hit me, Lupin? Go ahead... I deserve it. Give it your best shot!" Severus slurred as he stepped back and raised his hands in defeat.
Remus took a deep breath, and rather than follow his instincts and punch the smug bastard in front of him, he reached over to the table and grabbed a pitcher of water, throwing it in Severus' face as he bellowed, "Sober up, Snape! I want some answers!"
Severus barely flinched at the cold water that had been flung in his face, "Keep it down, Lupin... my son is asleep in the next room."
Remus drew his wand and cast a silencing charm, "Don't try to avoid the question, Severus. Your son is fine... he won't be disturbed now."
"Very considerate of you, Lupin. But then, you always are. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two, since I seem doomed to repeat my past mistakes..." Severus shrugged.
Remus took a deep breath, speaking more calmly, "Severus... please. I've never seen Hermione so distraught. I can't help her if neither of you will tell me What... the hell... happened."
Severus sighed in defeat, slumping into a chair and rubbing his hands tiredly over his face. He reached into his robes, pulling out a vial of potion and pulling out the stopper, "In a moment, Lupin."
He downed the potion, and Remus observed him sober up almost immediately, "Now then, Severus... tell me..."
"It was a misunderstanding..."
"It takes more than a simple misunderstanding to get Hermione so worked up!"
"I never said 'simple', Lupin" Severus sneered.
Remus growled in frustration before Severus continued, "She thought I was only in it for... what did she call it? Oh yes, a 'weekend fling'."
"And were you?"
"Come off it, Lupin! Hermione is not a whore to be used and cast away! She means a hell of a lot more than that to me!"
"Didn't you tell her?"
"She didn't give me the chance!"
Remus sighed in frustration, "Go talk to her, Severus."
"She'll not want to see me again, I'd wager..."
"Don't be so quick to assume anything about Hermione. Give her some time, if you must... but make sure you talk to her... soon. Or else, it will be too late."
"OUT, Lupin."
Remus stalked to the door, pausing before he opened it, "Don't blow this, Severus. It may be your last chance."
Severus scowled at the door as Remus closed it behind him, and reached for the remainder of his bottle of Firewhiskey.
As always, thank you to my readers and reviewers.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the characters from the books in the series are copyright JK Rowling, and are not being used for profit, only for personal enjoyment.
*****
Chapter 26 ~ Mistakes of the Past
Hermione and Severus decided that they had better get back to focusing on her studies again... they had quite a few evenings of work to make up for, since Hermione had spent most evenings this past week with her mother. After dinner, Remus volunteered to sit with Samuel, and he took the child to the staff room for a change in atmosphere.
Working together that night, they were more relaxed than ever before. It was all business while they were brewing their latest potion, but the small touches that they had become accustomed to sharing now seemed much more intimate. Regardless, they didn't let the events of the past twenty-four hours disrupt their lesson.
As Hermione finished brewing and bottling her potion, Severus stepped behind her to praise her work.
"Perfectly brewed... as usual," he smiled, "Not that I expected anything less from you, Hermione."
"Thank you, Severus. Coming from you, that means a lot."
Severus sighed, "Hermione... if there's one thing I regret as a professor, it is that I never let you know how much I admired your abilities. So many times I was tempted to say, 'Well done, Miss Granger'... but then, I'd see young Mr. Malfoy and his cronies sneering at you... reminding me of my position. I'm sorry that I never made more of an effort to tell you..."
"I understand, Severus," Hermione interrupted, "Speaking of Malfoy... how is Draco faring these days?"
Lucius Malfoy had been killed in the Final Battle, leaving his wife and son behind. His death was no big loss to those who knew him for what he really was, but Hermione couldn't help but feel sorry for Draco. She knew that he had ultimately rejected the lifestyle that his father had intended for him, which would have been to join the ranks of the Death Eaters. Even so, she knew the death of his father had to be hard on him.
Severus looked sympathetic as he started, "Draco is well.... considering what he has been left to deal with. His mother, on the other hand... she didn't take the death of her husband very well."
"Was Narcissa Malfoy a Death Eater as well?" Hermione asked.
Severus shook his head, "No. She wasn't... but she knew what Lucius was, and she supported him, even if she didn't particularly believe in his ideals."
"Did she... love him?"
"Yes, she did. And he loved her, in his own twisted way. He was not a kind man, but he treated her as if she were his most prized posession. He would never have let her come to harm... she led a very sheltered life as the wife of a Malfoy. Lucius would protect her and give her everything she ever wanted, and now that he's gone, she's literally gone out of her mind in grief. Draco had her admitted to St. Mungo's a few months back."
"Poor Draco..."
Severus smirked at the irony, "Those are two words that I never thought I'd hear coming from your mouth. But, I do agree."
"I spent seven years hoping that I could sway his beliefs. It wasn't easy, trying to change him while not revealing my own position... I was so proud of him when, in the end, he made the right choice. But now, he's alone, dealing with the consequences of his father's affairs," Severus looked morose as he finished speaking.
Hermione turned and slipped her arms around Severus' neck, "You've done all you can for him, Severus."
He looked down into her eyes before leaning in to kiss her softly.
"I only wish I could have done more," he scowled.
She kissed him deeply, whispering after she pulled back, "You're an amazing man, Severus Snape... complicated, but amazing. I'm proud that you are Samuel's father."
Severus was dumbstruck. He had never looked for anybody's approval, but the words that she just spoke meant more to him than he ever would have expected. He leaned into her, returning her kiss as he lifted her into his arms. He carried her through a door that she had never been aware of, leading directly from his private lab to his bedroom. Their kisses grew more passionate as he laid her on his bed and began to undress her.
*****
Severus groaned, "Wherever did you learn such passion?" he asked as he pulled Hermione into his arms. He couldn't believe how intense their lovemaking had been again tonight.
"From you," she grinned.
"Me?"
"Mmm hmm... last night..."
Severus could hardly believe what she was saying. From her nervousness the previous evening, and the incident leading up to teaching her the contraceptive charm, he had figured that she wasn't very experienced, and had an inkling that he may have even been her first... but her statement really brought it home. "Hermione... the night in the Forest... was it... your first time?"
He felt her squirm uncomfortably in her arms, and her cheeks grow warm as she nodded her head into his chest.
Severus kissed her brow, "I'm sorry if I... left you with horrible memories of that night... it should have been more special for you," he rasped.
"It was special, and not at all horrible," she murmured, "not until afterwards..."
"Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?"
Hermione sighed, her voice trembling as she whispered, "You said... you said that... you wanted to forget that it happened."
"Merlin! Hermione, I..." he pulled her tightly into his arms, "I can't imagine how you must have felt. I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"I forgave you a long time ago..."
"I could never make up for hurting you that way..."
Hermione raised her head, propping herself up on her elbow as she looked into his eyes, "Severus... you more than made up for it last night," she smirked, "and this morning, and tonight... by showing me how wonderful it can be. Just don't tell me that you want to forget, again..."
"Never," he stated adamantly before kissing her breathless once again, "I don't ever want to forget the time we spent together this weekend."
"You make it sound so final," she frowned as she pulled away.
"Did you... were you expecting it to continue?" he stammered.
Hermione began to look frantic as she asked, "Why wouldn't I?"
"I just thought..."
"A weekend fling... is that all this was to you?"
"No!"
"Severus, if that is all you wanted from me..." she fought back the tears as she gathered up her clothing, "If you'll excuse me, I have to go get our son!"
*****
Hermione stormed out of the room, through the nursery and to her own quarters, not even bothering to dress except to hastily throw her robe on to cover her nudity. When she reached her own room, she slammed her door behind her, taking deep breaths as she leaned back against it. She slid down against the wall, until she was on her knees, dropping her clothes into a heap beside her as she began to sob.
She was still lying there, sobbing, when Remus entered her quarters a little while later. His jovial smile quickly faded as he saw the sight before him.
"Hermione!" he rushed over to her, dropping to his knees and pulling her close with one arm. Samuel was tucked securely into his other arm.
Hermione looked up at him, her eyes red and watery as she trembled in his embrace. "Remus... please... just go."
"I won't leave you alone like this, Hermione. Not until I know what happened to you!"
"Samuel...?" she whispered as she looked at the baby.
"Is sleeping. I'm going to put him in his room, and when I return, you're going to tell me everything..."
Hermione nodded as he reached his hand out to her to help her stand. She followed him into the nursery, kissing her son before Remus gently laid him in the crib. He turned to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder as he ushered her out of the room. He poured her a glass of water, and rubbed her back as she slowly took a drink.
"Thank you," she said hoarsely.
He smiled gently at her, "Please, Hermione... tell me. I can't help you if you don't let me know what happened."
She sobbed, "Why do we keep repeating the mistakes of the past?"
"What do you mean?"
"Severus..." she choked, unable to continue.
Remus fumed, "WHAT did he do to you!"
"No, Remus... he didn't do anything to me."
"Then, what? Hermione, I come in here to find you slumped to the floor, sobbing... your clothes in a heap beside you... the only conclusion I can come to..."
"NO! Remus! NO! He didn't! You know he wouldn't!" she cried.
"If you don't tell me otherwise, that would be the only reasonable conclusion I would come to based on what I've seen here tonight!"
Hermione threw her arms around Remus, "He was so wonderful last night... treated me so good. And today... tonight... and now, he wants it to be over..." she was nearly incoherant as she rambled.
"Did you... sleep with him?"
Hermione nodded, "Yes..." she whispered.
"Willingly?"
"YES! Remus... how many times do I have to say it?"
"So it was mutual..." Remus looked at her as she nodded, "But only for the weekend?" she nodded again, "And you wanted it to be more?"
"I don't know what I wanted, Remus! I just didn't expect it to be over already!"
Remus stood, clenching and unclenching his fingers in fury, "I think I need to have a talk with Severus..."
"No, Remus. Please. I don't want you to get involved..."
"I'm already involved...I care too much about you... and your mother... and I owe it to her to watch out for you!"
Hermione collapsed onto her bed, curling up into a fetal position as Remus stormed out of the room.
*****
Severus paced his room wondering what the hell just happened. One minute, they were lying together in the afterglow of their love... the next, she was storming out of the room. How could the best weekend of his life end like this?
Neither brandy nor wine would be strong enough tonight. No, tonight he broke out a brand new bottle of firewhiskey. He was on his fourth round when he heard a pounding on the door, accompanied by an angry voice.
"Snape! Open up!"
"Go to hell, Lupin," he bellowed.
"I'm not going anywhere until we have a talk!"
Severus downed another shot of firewhiskey before stalking over to the door and flinging it open, "Why don't you just kill me now, Remus? I deserve it."
"Not until I get some answers, Snape!" Remus fumed, "What. Did. You. Do?"
Severus sneered, "What did I do? What did I do? Oh, yes... I spent an incredible weekend with the mother of my child..." he chuckled as he shook his head, "But then, I guess you don't want to hear about the sordid details of our bedroom activities?"
Remus stood in front of him, his jaw tight as he clenched his fists.
"Going to hit me, Lupin? Go ahead... I deserve it. Give it your best shot!" Severus slurred as he stepped back and raised his hands in defeat.
Remus took a deep breath, and rather than follow his instincts and punch the smug bastard in front of him, he reached over to the table and grabbed a pitcher of water, throwing it in Severus' face as he bellowed, "Sober up, Snape! I want some answers!"
Severus barely flinched at the cold water that had been flung in his face, "Keep it down, Lupin... my son is asleep in the next room."
Remus drew his wand and cast a silencing charm, "Don't try to avoid the question, Severus. Your son is fine... he won't be disturbed now."
"Very considerate of you, Lupin. But then, you always are. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two, since I seem doomed to repeat my past mistakes..." Severus shrugged.
Remus took a deep breath, speaking more calmly, "Severus... please. I've never seen Hermione so distraught. I can't help her if neither of you will tell me What... the hell... happened."
Severus sighed in defeat, slumping into a chair and rubbing his hands tiredly over his face. He reached into his robes, pulling out a vial of potion and pulling out the stopper, "In a moment, Lupin."
He downed the potion, and Remus observed him sober up almost immediately, "Now then, Severus... tell me..."
"It was a misunderstanding..."
"It takes more than a simple misunderstanding to get Hermione so worked up!"
"I never said 'simple', Lupin" Severus sneered.
Remus growled in frustration before Severus continued, "She thought I was only in it for... what did she call it? Oh yes, a 'weekend fling'."
"And were you?"
"Come off it, Lupin! Hermione is not a whore to be used and cast away! She means a hell of a lot more than that to me!"
"Didn't you tell her?"
"She didn't give me the chance!"
Remus sighed in frustration, "Go talk to her, Severus."
"She'll not want to see me again, I'd wager..."
"Don't be so quick to assume anything about Hermione. Give her some time, if you must... but make sure you talk to her... soon. Or else, it will be too late."
"OUT, Lupin."
Remus stalked to the door, pausing before he opened it, "Don't blow this, Severus. It may be your last chance."
Severus scowled at the door as Remus closed it behind him, and reached for the remainder of his bottle of Firewhiskey.
