"Losing
your mind Losing your mind
It's blurring It's fading
Your soul's on fire, It's black and white."
~~~~Haru~~~~
Once again my innate sense of direction got me lost in the labyrinth of streets. I laid down in the grass by a road, sorting out my thoughts for a moment. I shut my eyes to think when someone behind me yelled out, "Are you alright?!"
I turned my head around to see a girl around Yuki's age coming towards me, her face took a look of shock. "I-I-I I'm sorry, because of your white hair I thought you were an old person and I I I-" She babbled on. I was slightly annoyed, I didn't look old! Idiot. I didn't say anything though, you never knew who could be helpful, and I didn't want to offend her.
"Do you know where the Sohma house is?" I asked.
Her face lit up a little bit, "are you a Sohma?"
"Uh, yeah, do you know where it is?" I asked again, no patience to discuss who I was with some stupid girl.
"Yes! Pleased to meet you I'm-"
I tuned her out, the sound of Kyou's voice and thundering feet were headed this way. I walked to the other side of the road and tied a rope, dragging it across the road. I hoped I snagged Kyou; I didn't want to hurt Yuki. Kyou ran by and I tripped him. The girl behind me shouted out Kyou's name. I wondered for a moment how she knew Kyou. I figured she must have been a classmate.
Kyou stood up screaming and howling about how he had just managed to get ahead of Yuki. Yuki himself strolled up, the first thing he noticed was that girl. He looked to her and asked calmly, "Tohru-san? What are you doing here?"
I blinked; that girl was Tohru... Yuki left me for that? Ouch. I felt my blood boil, but calmed down.
Yuki noticed me and stared. I was the last thing he expected to see today obviously. He asked why I wasn't at school. Part of me wanted to be a smart ass and say because I am here. Instead I came up with some story about getting lost. I was barely aware of what I was doing, my head was clouded from being near Yuki and seeing this girl Tohru.
Yuki introduced us and I bowed, the movement loaded with mockery. I know knew who my opponent was. Yuki suggested we find another place to talk, so we made our way under the bridge. Kyou asked the million dollar question then.
"Haru why are you here?"
I knew my lines, I had rehearsed this in my head repeatedly, "To fight."
Kyou's face looked confused, "What?"
"I was going to challenge you at new years but you skipped remember?" I said, glancing at Yuki, his face proved he didn't believe all this.
Kyou protested, it was starting to piss me off, I could tell he wasn't buying this either. Great, any minute now he'd spill the beans and my whole plan would be shot to hell. I glanced back to Yuki, who kept whispering things to Tohru. I felt the cold burning of rage coming over me. I couldn't allow my plan to go wrong. I needed Kyou to fight me, make this look like a normal occurrence.
Yuki shouted out a warning to Kyou, telling him to do as I said. He didn't believe that I came to fight him, but like always, Yuki could sense my distress. Kyou yelled out that he wasn't going to fight, and that was the end of it. I snapped.
~~~~~Yuki~~~~
I shouted a warning to Kyou, knowing Haru was getting annoyed, and I could read it in his eyes. They gained that frantic look, the look that came before he went black. Of course that idiotic cat didn't listen, and Haru went black. He slammed into Kyou, and the brawl began.
Tohru and I watched them, and I kept making things up to answer her questions. I knew no better than her why Haru came to pick a fight. My guess was he came to see me, or Tohru. I was nervous, my cold was getting worse from standing out here. I wanted to tell Kyou and Haru to stop, but Haru was now black, and the less that half noticed me, the better. I hated when Haru acted like this, I always tried to act kind, he couldn't help it.
I remembered back to a time he had gotten angry and had run into me. He had come home, stomping and slamming things around, cursing.
"God damn teacher, dare telling me I need to dye my hair back to its original color, not look like a punk. Saying all that while that little bitch girl made fun of me for writing Yuki's name on my hand. I'LL SHOW HER!" Haru screamed, kicking a chair over. I quietly headed up the stairwell, heading to my room to change out of my school uniform. I hoped he would cool off by the time he came upstairs. It didn't happen.
Haru walked into the room, I shirtless, hunting for a clean top to wear. Haru walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me a little too tightly.
"Eh… Yuki…" he murmured while nuzzling my shoulder, "why are people so stupid… sometimes I'd like to kill them all…"
I gulped, not sure of what to say. I felt Haru reach up and stroke my chest. I wanted to pull away, but couldn't. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or aggravate him more.
"Yuki… how about we forget other people and have some fun… huh?" Haru asked, nibbling at my neck.
I tensed, and tried to pull away. Haru bit down hard in response. I yelped, "HARU OW!"
I tried to pull away but Haru held me tight, pinning my arms to my side. "What Yuki? You don't like me? Why not…"
I sighed, "Haru you know that's not it, I just… I just…."
He pushed me onto the bed and laid next to me, "prove it Yuki," He kissed me with brute force. I felt his hands trail down my stomach and to my pant zipper. No way in hell, I could take a lot from black Haru, but not this. I shoved him off and glared at him. He didn't expect that and fell back, smacking into the wall.
"Get away from me, you sick bastard." I stood up to leave when I noticed the look in his eyes. Black Haru was gone. He blinked and looked confused for a minute then he gasped, "Yuki… I-I-…. Gomen… I…" He jumped up and ran out of the room.
"Haru wait!" I called after him, but he was gone. I sat on my bed and sighed, it wasn't his fault but I couldn't have let him done that.
This memory came to my head, so I didn't confront Haru, it was best to just let him fight with Kyou then. I coughed again, my asthma was getting really bad, and I couldn't really breathe. My legs started to lock up, and I sunk to the ground. Haru and Kyou ran over. I heard Haru tell Kyou to call the main house. "NO" my mind shouted and threw up a red light; Akito might make me move back into the main house if he thought I would get sick. I grabbed Haru's ankle and stared up to him, sure my eyes were full of fear. I could care less what happened as long as I could breathe again. I wanted Haru to take care of me, because I knew he could. After that thought, I was down and out.
I awoke with a start. Haru and Tohru were standing over me, looking concerned. I jolted up, "what happened?"
Tohru smiled at me, "Haru-san turned into a cow and carried you."
I blinked and looked at Haru, who stared back at me, almost defiantly.
"Um, thanks Haru."
He continued his intense stare, "No problem, I wanted to show how much I like Yuki, especially to Tohru-kun"
"Of all things, why would you say that?" I asked, hoping my voice wasn't as frantic as I felt.
"Because it's true."
Haru and I kept our eyes in a deadlock. My mind spun, how much had he told her? What if Akito found out Tohru knew, he'd hurt Haru. It'd be my fault.
"It was a wonderful story," Tohru said, breaking the silence, "Yuki-kun"
Wonderful story? She couldn't have known of a breakup if it was a wonderful story. I felt sick, Akito's wrath was going to come to Haru, and me. It was my fault. Before I knew what had happened, I was in the air, my little arms flailing about. I had turned into a mouse from the pressure of everything.
Around 15 minutes passed and I still had not returned to my human form. Tohru left the room to avoid any embarrassing incidents, but Haru remained. I was in agony, not out of fear of Haru seeing me indecent, just him seeing me and having to face him. He didn't talk to me yet. I supposed he was waiting for me to turn back to a human. Just as I was pondering this thought, a poof occurred and I was sitting on my bed exposed. Haru looked up at the ceiling as I pulled my pants on.
"I didn't tell her about us Yuki…. I just told her the story of that day by the window…" Haru said quietly, still looking at the ceiling, a strange look upon his face.
I nodded, fighting the urge to vomit, the words that came from my mouth were as bitter as a winter day, "good. I would appreciate if it remained that way."
The boy I loved more than anything stared at me like he had been slapped. I walked out of the room and to the bathroom where I threw up.
~~~~~~~~Haru~~~~~~~
Yuki walked out of the room, I could only stand there in shock. I slowly stumbled out of the room and downstairs. I started to walk home. I was numb, Tohru had a tighter grip on Yuki than I had thought. I wandered around, trying to find my way home. I got hopelessly lost, and sat down on the sidewalk. It was getting dark and cold, and no one was around. I sat there, my mind still deadened. Tohru was going to pay. She was stupid, and I could handle her easy. Yuki would be mine in no time. I just had to wait and plan this out carefully, and wait for the right opportunity.
A car horn honked and I looked up. The car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down revealing Hatori's face.
"Haru get in the car," he said.
I stood up and climbed into the front passenger seat, my face still emotionless. Hatori picked up something was wrong, and without asking what was wrong or looking at me he murmured, "thing's aren't always what you think."
I stayed silent, and stared at the dashboard, having no idea what he meant.
"Don't blame Tohru. This isn't her doing. You know that deep down Haru."
I glared at him, I saw what this was about now. "No I don't, you just are planning on defending her because she's the little miracle wonder angel. I see through that pompous act of fake modesty. You're all blinded."
Hatori stared out onto the road, "alright Hatsuharu… believe what you will."
We reached the Sohma house and I stormed off to my room. I lay on my bed and sleep. Yuki haunts my dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think near a year had passed since I met Tohru. I had hung out with them a few times during then, to gain trust and not be a stranger. I had acted civil, even friendly at times. Yuki was wary when I was around, he always got annoyed if I got too close to him. I always noticed a sad look in his eyes. I thought to myself, No worries Yuki sweet love of mine, I will cure you of the disease that plagues you. The disease called Tohru. I had played it in my head many times how I would do everything. How it would all work in the end. It was flawless.
I sat in my desk chair, reading a book when I heard Momiji and Kisa talking in the hall.
"Kyou transformed into his true form in front of Tohru! And she didn't care isn't that great? She told him she loves him and wants to be with him. He is very happy, he even let her hug him!" Momiji's voice told Kisa enthusiastically.
Kisa's voice responded so quietly I had to strain to hear her, "that's good… but…. What about Yuki-kun? Doesn't he like onee-chan too?"
Momiji's voice took a somber tone, "Hai… he does… I heard Shigure telling Hari that Yuki's been very distraught lately, most likely due to Tohru picking Kyou over him…."
"Poor Yuki…" Kisa said gently.
I grinned. My opportunity had come. I pulled my coat on and walked out of my room. Kisa and Momiji looked up at me, "Hello Haru…" Their voices trailed off while looking at me. I was down the hall when I heard Momiji whisper, "He had a funny look on his face…"
"I know… it scares me." Kisa responded.
I ignored the comments and walked downstairs, heading for Shigure's abode. I hummed as I walked to the house, I hadn't even lost my way yet. It was simple. Convince Tohru to let Yuki go. Threaten her if need be. I would rid Yuki of that parasite it was all perfect.
I somehow made it to Shigure's house without getting lost. I knocked on the door. When no one answered I let myself in. The house was deserted and looked like a wasteland. Wind tore around the house outside, creating a hellish moaning. I walked upstairs, it appeared no one was home.
"Kuso…" I muttered to myself, she had to be home. I walked into her room, the Pepto-Bismol pink of her bed making me feel nauseous. I glanced around, noticed a small diary lay open on the desk, so I walked over to read it.
"Kyou-kun turned into a monster the other day. It was scary, but I still saw him in those freaky purple eyes. I truly love him, not like the rat Yuki. I'm starting to rather detest him. He's constantly mean to Kyou, who already is a misfit. Yuki doesn't know what its like to not fit in, he's always been the special popular rat."
I stared at the words on the page, my anger mounting, how dare she even think for one moment she knew what it was like to live in the Sohma's world.
"I know he likes me. Maybe I led him on a little. Oh well, I think he needs to feel a bit of rejection. I'd bet anything it's a foreign concept to him. I can tell he was hurt about the things I told Kyou. I suppose after being so close with him he expected me to want to be with him. Truth is I rather dislike him, the more I spend time with him the more I realize what a spoiled angsty brat he is."
I felt that cold rage creep over again. Stupid bitch, how could she say that about Yuki after taking him from me? I heard a creak and whipped around. Tohru stood there, looking shocked.
"Hatsuharu-san? What are you doing here?" she asked. Her eyes glanced over and noticed her diary was open. Her eyes widened slightly and she walked over and shut it. "Heh, silly little book, my dumb rantings are of no interest right?"
I walked over and shut her door, and leaned against it. "Silly girl…."
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Cliff hanger dun dun dun, next chapter should come out quickly, since my ideas have brewed. Sorry for tohru's ooc meanness…. I needed something to push haru over the edge. Review please!
